Tend and Feed and Guide

Acts 20, "Take care and be on guard for yourselves and the whole flock over which the Holy Spirit has appointed you bishops and guardians, to shepherd (tend and feed and guide) the church of the Lord or of God which He obtained for Himself [buying it and saving it for Himself] with His own blood. I know that after I am gone, ferocious wolves will get in among you, not sparing the flock; Even from among your own selves men will come to the front who, by saying perverse (distorted and corrupt) things, will endeavor to draw away the disciples after them [to their own party]. Therefore be always alert and on your guard..."

As I was reading this, I felt something, something that I did not expect to feel. "Take care and be on guard for yourselves," this practically jumped off of the page at me. "Be on guard for yourself," could this mean that I could turn into the wolf this passage is talking about? I think I could. I could very easily start to think that what I am doing, "I am doing." It could very easily become all about me. "Do you see the people who say that I did ____? It is by my good that others are finding Christ...." Oh, the temptation to think that I am in control and it is really all about me. The pressure that I place upon myself to get my theology right; to say the right things; to have a word for someone, when I think they need a word; lets me know that I think a lot about what I know. I have a tendency to think that I draw people to me, or that they even really need me. I know, I know; If I am going to be teaching anything to anyone, I better be saying what Jesus would say. I better have my theology correct, He has called me to shepherd His flock. The danger lies in the motive of my heart and the "pats on the back" that I desire. Are others really coming to my party, or to His?

"...to shepherd (tend and feed and guide) the church of the Lord or of God which He obtained for Himself [buying it and saving it for Himself] with His own blood." Here is the thing, I need to be concerned that I am guiding others in the right direction. I better be concerned about what I am teaching. But, here is the key, They are His. I am His to use. Others that He brings to me, are His. My words are His. I study and I search, for in reality, I know that I really know nothing. I have to rely on others myself. If I think that I am at the top of the spiritual food chain, I may be a wolf in disguise. For here is the truth, I know no one who thinks "I am the one who is going to destroy everyone and lead them to Hell." It seems to me that most start out with pure motives in heart, but then we forget about Him, while we say we are working for Him. The job gets in the way. We forget that everything we are doing is supposed to point to the Cross. For if we keep our eyes pointing to the Cross, we will be able to keep ourselves out of His light.

Oswald Chambers, "I cannot save and sanctify myself; I cannot make atonement for sin; I cannot redeem the world; I cannot right what is wrong, purify what is impure, or make holy what is unholy. That is all the sovereign work of God. Do I have faith in what Jesus Christ has done? He has made the perfect atonement for sin. Am I in the habit of constantly realizing it? The greatest need we have is not to do things, but to believe things. The redemption of Christ is not an experience, it is the great act of God which He has performed through Christ, and I have to build my faith on it. If I construct my faith on my own experience, I produce the most unscriptural kind of life— an isolated life, with my eyes focused solely on my own holiness. Beware of that human holiness that is not based on the atonement of the Lord."
As we are going out and doing the will of the Lord, we better be on guard for ourself, first. Everything we do, everything I say, I better look at myself first and direct myself first, to Christ on the Cross for me. For if I keep my eyes upon the Cross, then I can better walk toward the Cross, and those who happen to walk behind me will be able to see Him over me.

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/10/09/devotion.aspx?year=2009