Offended by God

Matthew 11:1-6, "John the Baptist, who was in prison, heard about all the things the Messiah was doing. So he sent his disciples to ask Jesus, 'Are you the Messiah we’ve been expecting, or should we keep looking for someone else?' Jesus told them, 'Go back to John and tell him what you have heard and seen— the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, and the Good News is being preached to the poor. And tell him, ‘God blesses those who are not offended by me.'"

It is amazing to me, how God talks to me about certain things, only when I am ready to hear. I am learning new every day. He is gentle and patient and He knows that if He told me everything right away, it would be too much for me. Part of my weekly study is to listen to Beth Moore on line. Recently she has been doing a study on John the Baptist. At first I thought, "Okay, a kind of history lesson. I know about John, but maybe I need to have a reminder." This is not what happened at all. When she got to this verse my heart became heavy, I realised that Jesus was talking to me, when He spoke to John. As Beth described it, John knew who Christ was. He had baptised Him, and he had seen the Holy Spirit land on His shoulders, and he had heard God speak and say this was His son. He knew and his joy was complete with this realisation.

John did not have doubts about who Jesus was. He knew who He was! John was now in prison. He was suffering and asking Jesus, "Are You going to rescue me? Why am I suffering right now? You can just say the word and I would be free." John was offended that Jesus was not rescuing him out of his circumstance. That is why Jesus added, "God blesses those who are not offended by me." He knew his heart and He knew what John was really asking.

God keeps my past close to my memory, for He refers to it often as He is speaking to me. About a year ago, I was suffering. Several years earlier, I had memorised the book of James, and I took this verse to Pastor Steve, "Are any of you sick? You should call for the elders of the church to come and pray over you, anointing you with oil in the name of the Lord. Such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make you well." I was sick. I needed healing. I called on the church. We met together. I was anointed in oil. Our prayers were offered in faith, but I was not healed.

As I listened to Beth, as I studied these passages that week, I could hear God speaking, "You were offended by Me when you thought I was not healing you. You blamed Me for your disease. You see now that I needed you to learn more about who you were and who I Am, but you are still carrying that offence and you need to forgive Me."

Ouch! That one is hard. I was offended at God. He was supposed to heal me. We did our part, where was He? It was not right that I was having to ask Eric, my oldest son who was six, to help me button my shirt because I could not do it myself. It was not fair that I could not even do the dishes, because I was dropping all of them and breaking them. It was not fair that I was sleeping all of the time, because I did not even have enough energy to sit and read to my babies. It was not fair and He could heal me, but wouldn't! I was offended, but I didn't know it until He took my memory back and showed me.

I have learned so many lessons since that time. I have learned how to love myself and take better care of myself. I have learned how to rely more on God and how to have more self control. All things that I would have never learned had He healed me and given me what I wanted in a nice little package. I am thankful that He did not heal me right away, but He needed me to see that I was still carrying that offence. He spoke to me through Beth's lesson. He speaks to me through His word. He speaks to me through my memory of my past. He speaks to me through some of my hardest times. I know who He is and I had been offended, because of who He is. I needed to forgive Him. I needed to see that when it seems He is not answering my prayer the way I think it needs to be answered, He is trying to show me more. I have to remember that He is Love. He is all knowing and He knows what I need more than I do. He is not, just not answering my prayers. He knows I need to learn more. What is it that He is trying to help me see? If I will wait with Him, and not take offence, what is it that He is trying to teach me? Can I hear Him speak? Am I willing to listen?

Oswald Chambers, "Am I therefore justified in being dejected and in blaming God? Whenever we insist that God should give us an answer to prayer we are off track. The purpose of prayer is that we get ahold of God, not of the answer. It is impossible to be well physically and to be dejected, because dejection is a sign of sickness. This is also true spiritually. Dejection spiritually is wrong, and we are always to blame for it."