Wednesday, March 5, 2014

My Nehemiah

We all have those moments of great appreciation that comes flooding in unannounced. They can be so overwhelming. This happened to me yesterday morning as I was sitting in my window seat reading Nehemiah. Now if you know the story of Nehemiah, your probably wondering why? Its not a story that would usually bring tears as your reading, but the flood gates were open for me. But before I tell my story, I'll catch you up with his...

Nehemiah was a man who was part of Israel's captivity years. He was cup bearer for the king who now ruled his people. He discovered that his beloved city and it's wall was still in shambles and desired to go and rebuild it. The king showed him favoritism and sent him on his way with his written blessing and men to help him. When he got there he saw that the work was great and he discovered that his opposition from others was even greater. He set up men for battle and men for rebuilding. In short, they got the enormous job completed in only 52 days.
But it wasn't until I started reading toward the end that the story started taking hold in my life. Nehemiah had left after the rebuilding, thinking that everything would be fine now that the city was back in order. When he returned he discovered that the law had not been kept, the people were not holding the Sabbath holy, and the people were once again entering into marriage with foreign women. He flipped his lid! "So I confronted them and called down curses on them. I beat some of them and pulled out their hair." (13:25)  Nehemiah freaked, for right before that the people remembered how they had turned from God and lost their way and here they were doing it again.

This ending portion, that is most often overlooked because of the building of the great wall, is the part that I could hear God talking to me most.  Just like the people who had rehearsed their story of their past and had seen how faithful God had always been (9), and vowed to live differently (10:30ff), now it was my turn to see.  

My mom, she has always been there fighting for me.  She saw the death sentence in front of me when I was diagnosed with MS.  She was a RN, and had many MS patients.  She knew what I had to look forward to.  
Now this brings me to my first example.  I was about 21 and I had just been diagnosed.  In this time, I had turned my back on God and had decided to "live".  A friend and I had gone outside during the middle of the night to smoke.  My mom caught us after we were washing our hands to get the smoke smell off.  My mom freaked out!  She grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall yelling at me in hysterics over smoking a cigarette. 
My next example: after my family had done their intervention and taken me out of my first marriage, I immediately was in another relationship with my current husband (a whole other story for another time).  Jason and I were at my grandmother's house laying on a bed talking.  Nothing was going on, but my mom again freaked.  She called me into the bathroom where she started to scold me harshly.

These are just two examples that come into my memory, but trust me, there are many.  I had always seen my mom as way out of line, over bearing, in my space, trying to control every aspect of my life.  As I was reading Nehemiah I started seeing differently.  My mom could see where I had been and she knew its the small steps that take you to great destruction.  It is also the small every day steps that can bring you to great repair.  I have been in a battle for 19 years. During this time, I have been the people who would do well while others are there helping, but as soon as the leader is away, things start to go back the way they were.  I forget the promises I have made and start living as I see others live around me.  I choose life!  I have always chosen life, its just that, now I can see what truly brings me life.  I have to do the small things now so that I will be able to enjoy this life tomorrow.  My mom is my Nehemiah! She has always been the one with the vision.  She has always been the one doing the research and finding the right healing path for me at that time in my life. She was a RN, so we did the shots for MS.  Then she became an acupuncturist and herbalist, so I did Chinese medicine.  Then she discovered Doug Kaufmann's diet Know the Cause.  Now we are venturing into adult stem cell treatments Stem Genex.  All of which has been my mother's stead fast obedience and building even when no hope, no life, no appreciation could be seen.  My mom is my Nehemiah and I can't thank her enough for her diligence in my life.

Do you have a Nehemiah in your life?  Have you thanked them for all of their hard work?  Have you let them know that it was their constancy that kept you going? Are you Nehemiah for someone? If you have that vision, don't give up. It has been 19 years for my mom to truly be appreciated.  But the tears flow in gratitude for her seeing faithfulness that has kept me walking step by (back) step along this journey.  Thank you Mom for never giving up, even when I had...

I LOVE YOU  

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