Great Sex

I was talking with my husband last night, about when things started to get better between us. For the first 2 years of our marriage, we were under fire. He had completely withdrawn, and I was going around upset all of the time. Sex between us was almost to a stand still, I had to rely on his memory for this one. I thought we were having sex about once every week, because I had set aside Tuesdays, for sex day. I was getting to the point that every time he touched me, I would stiffen. I was so afraid that he just wanting sex from me. My past was haunting me, so I did not want anything to do with sex. I thought it was once a week, but he remembers differently. He said it was more like once a month. He informed me that Tuesday was the day, but that I was rarely "available" that day. We were not close; we were not communicating; we were two people living under the same roof, not talking or sharing. Then he expected to have sex with me, I don't think so. I was not withholding sex on purpose, I just needed to feel a connection. I told him that if he wanted to have sex with me, he needed to communicate with me. I needed to feel he was sharing with me, and not just using me. He said, this helped him to get in touch with his feelings, real fast.

Honestly, I do not know many men who could have helped me, like my husband did. I was going through so much, and he faced the fear and stepped right into my chaos. So many men want to be mighty warriors, but they are afraid to step into the battle for their wives. Why is this? He stepped in and battled for me. This is how I saw, how truly strong my husband was. Ephesians 5, "And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God's word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault."

Jason, got off of the couch and engaged with me. He had been coming home; sitting in front of the TV, watching Hockey, all night! I would go to bed, because I was tired. Then he would come in much later and expect me to "wake up" for him. I couldn't. I couldn't turn on when there had been no communication between the two of us. So, he stepped into the battle with me, and turned off the TV. He started helping me again. We weren't just doing the dishes and cooking by ourselves, but we were in the kitchen together. This time with him started to interest me and I was not feeling used any more. During this time I started to flirt and tease with him, this was my foreplay time. We were connecting, and I was turning on.

Now, Jason will tell you that he is the one in control of how much sex we have. He knows that in order to turn me on, all he has to do is talk to me. When we talk about other people and their sexual relationships with their spouse, he will say, that if the husband will just wake up and engage with his wife, he could have a great sex life with her. But here is the problem that I see, we tend to want things without working for them. A good marriage takes work. You have to see what the other person is needing, then provide that for them. Jason is my husband. He is my leader. I respect him to the fullest. In being a leader, he took the role of the servant. In being my husband, he looked at what I was needing. I felt so dirty; he washed me with his love. I was feeling so used; he covered me with his love. He saw what I needed. "He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean... He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church (wife) without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault." He showed me that he loved me. Words can mean nothing, if there is no action behind them. He shows me that he loves me.

"So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." We now have a great sex life. We have a wonderful time, together. Jason is my leader, he has stepped out and taken his place. Not by force, but by love and being a servant; a true leader.