Oh how I love my mornings with my Lord. I love to sit on the front porch listening to the earth wake and see the sky change in its glorious colors. This is my most precious time of day. This is how I prepare for my day. John 1, "In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through Him, and nothing was created except through Him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and His life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it." In Him I have light and in Him I am free. I love this and I love that He knows me. Some people may think that I am always down upon myself since I so freely share my struggles, but this is not the case at all. I know myself, for I have studied Him. In seeing Him I know that I can trust Him, but I also see the truth about me when I see Him. And this is okay for He loves me, but He knows not to trust me. Without Him I am weak. Without Him there is only darkness.
John 2:24, "But Jesus didn’t trust them, because He knew human nature. No one needed to tell Him what mankind is really like." He loves me, but He does know that I will never be perfect. He does not trust Himself to me in that way. He knows that I will make mistakes and He knows that I will out right sin against myself and against Him. In recognizing this, admitting this, and being willing to look at myself with truth, this is how I have found true freedom and this is how I will learn to love myself more. He has not called me to save myself from sin and corruption, but He has called me to look to the light of truth so that I can learn to walk closer to Him. As long as I am loving Him and walking toward Him, when I see myself for what I really am I will not find condemnation, but I will find salvation and a wanting to change what He has shown me. I love it when I finally see myself for what is really going on in myself. For when I finally see the truth, that is when I find freedom. And that is why I love my Lord so much.
John 3, "Jesus replied, 'I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God.' 'What do you mean?' ...Jesus replied, 'I assure you, no one can enter the Kingdom of God without being born of water and the Spirit. Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life... For God loved the world so much that He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent His Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through Him. There is no judgment against anyone who believes in Him. But anyone who does not believe in Him has already been judged for not believing in God’s one and only Son. And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants.”
I am okay with my weaknesses, but I am not content with them. I want to see the truth. I want to know that I am doing the right thing in everything that I do. I want this for that is where my freedom is found.
Oswald Chambers, "We say that there ought to be no sorrow, but there is sorrow, and we have to accept and receive ourselves in its fires. If we try to evade sorrow, refusing to deal with it, we are foolish. Sorrow is one of the biggest facts in life, and there is no use in saying it should not be. Sin, sorrow, and suffering are, and it is not for us to say that God has made a mistake in allowing them. Sorrow removes a great deal of a person’s shallowness, but it does not always make that person better. Suffering either gives me to myself or it destroys me. You cannot find or receive yourself through success, because you lose your head over pride. And you cannot receive yourself through the monotony of your daily life, because you give in to complaining. The only way to find yourself is in the fires of sorrow. Why it should be this way is immaterial. The fact is that it is true in the Scriptures and in human experience. You can always recognize who has been through the fires of sorrow and received himself, and you know that you can go to him in your moment of trouble and find that he has plenty of time for you. But if a person has not been through the fires of sorrow, he is apt to be contemptuous, having no respect or time for you, only turning you away. If you will receive yourself in the fires of sorrow, God will make you nourishment for other people."
http://utmost.org/receiving-yourself-in-the-fires-of-sorrow/
Friday, June 25, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
New Life/Freedom Living
Oswald Chambers, "Not being reconciled to the fact of sin— not recognizing it and refusing to deal with it— produces all the disasters in life. You may talk about the lofty virtues of human nature, but there is something in human nature that will mockingly laugh in the face of every principle you have. If you refuse to agree with the fact that there is wickedness and selfishness, something downright hateful and wrong, in human beings, when it attacks your life, instead of reconciling yourself to it, you will compromise with it and say that it is of no use to battle against it. Have you taken this “hour, and the power of darkness” into account, or do you have a view of yourself which includes no recognition of sin whatsoever?"
These past few months I have been looking often at Sodom's sins, mainly due to the fact that homosexuality had been brought to my attention often. But these past few weeks, using these same verses that I had been studying for others, He showed me my own sin. Ezekiel 16:49, "Sodom’s sins were pride, gluttony, and laziness..." Gluttony, that is the one. I never would have thought that gluttony would be my sin that God would ever show me. I am not going to say that it is a sin of excess clothes, money, or whatever most people choose to put in the place of gluttony. I am going to come out and say that I am a textbook definition of a glutton- it's food! I weigh 120 lbs and God has shown me that I, like so many others, struggle with food. Food is my sin.
I recently spent three weeks in Texas seeing doctors for my MS. I have been struggling for some time now with almost debilitating fatigue. I have known that I needed to change my diet for years, but I did not want to. I like my coffee in the morning, but I was drinking too much and now my adrenal glands are destroyed. I wanted to eat like everyone else and I wanted it all to be the easy fast way we as a society have come to enjoy. I felt like God should just heal me without any change from me, for I know He can. I almost felt like He was punishing me or not loving me if He did not take this from me by miraculous healing. Then He led my heart to another verse.
Daniel 1, "The king assigned them a daily ration of the best food and wine from his own kitchens...But Daniel was determined (But Daniel made up his mind) not to defile himself by eating the food and wine given to them by the king. He asked the chief of staff for permission not to eat these unacceptable foods."
We are as Sodom was. What are our sins as a nation? Could they be pride, laziness and gluttony? I want the quick fix. It would be much easier on my flesh if I could just take a pill, get a shot, get a miraculous healing, and all my problems go away. I want the fast food, that quick meal so that nothing is hard or messy. I want to eat my treats like I deserve them, instead of how they were meant, as a treat. Treats are Not something we eat everyday. I am a follower of Christ the most high God and He has called me to live in the world, but not as the world. He has given me my body as His temple. Why would He reward me when I am continually destroying His temple. He loves me! Now it is time for me to start treating myself with the same love He has called me to love others.
I repent of my sin. I am sorry that I abused my body in so many ways. I am sorry that I have not treated my Lord with respect by expecting Him to once again clean up my mess. I am sorry that I have fought against Him and chosen the world instead of following what I knew was best for me and others around me. I will learn to enjoy His treats the way He meant them. I am sorry I have sinned with the sin of gluttony.
It has been four weeks now since my eyes were opened to my sin. It has been four weeks of living as I should. For the first time I am now free. I feel more freedom in this life choice than I ever have. There was no freedom in being a slave of food. Now I have made up my mind as Daniel did and my healing has begun. My soul, my spirit is free! It will be work, but He has not called me to be lazy. Thank You Lord, for opening my eyes so that I could see. Thank You for showing me a new way to live and love myself. Thank You, for giving me the strength today, so that my tomorrow will be even better.
http://utmost.org/reconciling-yourself-to-the-fact-of-sin/
These past few months I have been looking often at Sodom's sins, mainly due to the fact that homosexuality had been brought to my attention often. But these past few weeks, using these same verses that I had been studying for others, He showed me my own sin. Ezekiel 16:49, "Sodom’s sins were pride, gluttony, and laziness..." Gluttony, that is the one. I never would have thought that gluttony would be my sin that God would ever show me. I am not going to say that it is a sin of excess clothes, money, or whatever most people choose to put in the place of gluttony. I am going to come out and say that I am a textbook definition of a glutton- it's food! I weigh 120 lbs and God has shown me that I, like so many others, struggle with food. Food is my sin.
I recently spent three weeks in Texas seeing doctors for my MS. I have been struggling for some time now with almost debilitating fatigue. I have known that I needed to change my diet for years, but I did not want to. I like my coffee in the morning, but I was drinking too much and now my adrenal glands are destroyed. I wanted to eat like everyone else and I wanted it all to be the easy fast way we as a society have come to enjoy. I felt like God should just heal me without any change from me, for I know He can. I almost felt like He was punishing me or not loving me if He did not take this from me by miraculous healing. Then He led my heart to another verse.
Daniel 1, "The king assigned them a daily ration of the best food and wine from his own kitchens...But Daniel was determined (But Daniel made up his mind) not to defile himself by eating the food and wine given to them by the king. He asked the chief of staff for permission not to eat these unacceptable foods."
We are as Sodom was. What are our sins as a nation? Could they be pride, laziness and gluttony? I want the quick fix. It would be much easier on my flesh if I could just take a pill, get a shot, get a miraculous healing, and all my problems go away. I want the fast food, that quick meal so that nothing is hard or messy. I want to eat my treats like I deserve them, instead of how they were meant, as a treat. Treats are Not something we eat everyday. I am a follower of Christ the most high God and He has called me to live in the world, but not as the world. He has given me my body as His temple. Why would He reward me when I am continually destroying His temple. He loves me! Now it is time for me to start treating myself with the same love He has called me to love others.
I repent of my sin. I am sorry that I abused my body in so many ways. I am sorry that I have not treated my Lord with respect by expecting Him to once again clean up my mess. I am sorry that I have fought against Him and chosen the world instead of following what I knew was best for me and others around me. I will learn to enjoy His treats the way He meant them. I am sorry I have sinned with the sin of gluttony.
It has been four weeks now since my eyes were opened to my sin. It has been four weeks of living as I should. For the first time I am now free. I feel more freedom in this life choice than I ever have. There was no freedom in being a slave of food. Now I have made up my mind as Daniel did and my healing has begun. My soul, my spirit is free! It will be work, but He has not called me to be lazy. Thank You Lord, for opening my eyes so that I could see. Thank You for showing me a new way to live and love myself. Thank You, for giving me the strength today, so that my tomorrow will be even better.
http://utmost.org/reconciling-yourself-to-the-fact-of-sin/
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