Oswald Chambers, "Never allow anything to remain in your life that is causing the unrest. Think of every detail of your life that is causing the disintegration as something to fight against, not as something you should allow to remain. Ask the Lord to put awareness of Himself in you, and your self-awareness will disappear. Then He will be your all in all... If we try to overcome our self-awareness through any of our own commonsense methods, we will only serve to strengthen our self-awareness tremendously. Jesus says, “Come to Me . . . and I will give you rest,” that is, Christ-awareness will take the place of self-awareness. Wherever Jesus comes He establishes rest— the rest of the completion of activity in our lives that is never aware of itself."
I am part of a group of people who are starting a college outreach program. We will start in just a couple of days and I am one of the speakers. I want to do this. I like to speak about the changing power of Christ. I do not want to tell my story.... again. We had a practice time the other night and I had something prepared. Well actually, it was plagiarized from one of the talks given on Ravi Zacharias' web site. In this "run through" with my friends, what I had planned was shot down. My attempt was vetoed and my instructions were clear. "You are not authentic with this," they said. "You need to tell your story. They need to hear about your life."
I don't want to tell my story any more. Do you hear, I hate to look like a fool. I hate to admit my stupidity. I want to speak of the joy. The joy that I have is in my new life. The joy that I possess is in the now. But here I go again, telling of my sin. Anyway, I consented and accepted their advise. I had been feeling okay about all of it, until yesterday.
Through our business, I am part of three, who are the landlords of several rentals around town. Yesterday, I went around to several of my houses talking to our tenants. When I went to a house that had college students, I handed them one of our flyers and invited them to come to LIVE@WEBSTERHALL. After doing this, I felt sick. I literally felt like I was going to throw up. My focus was on myself and all that I could see was "fool". Self-awareness really set in and every bit of my focus was distorted. Through my insecurities and fear, all I could see was me. When this happens, which is often, I want to hide so that I do not have to look anyone in the eyes. All day yesterday, I was living in self-awareness. Last night I went to bed with me on my mind.
Bless God, Everyday is new. Today is a new day. Before I started reading this morning, I prayed to God that He would help me see. I prayed that He would give me the strength so that I could do this thing, for all I could see was me and I was beginning to drown. I opened my bible to the pages marked for today and my spirit was strengthened.
2 Samuel 6, "...But as the Ark of the Lord entered the City of David, Michal, the daughter of Saul, looked down from her window. When she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she was filled with contempt for him... David retorted to Michal, 'I was dancing before the Lord, who chose me above your father and all his family! He appointed me as the leader of Israel, the people of the Lord, so I celebrate before the Lord. Yes, and I am willing to look even more foolish than this, even to be humiliated in my own eyes! But those servant girls you mentioned will indeed think I am distinguished!'"
Oh, how I love the story of David. He made so many mistakes, but his heart was for his Lord. He was willing to look like a fool, for in his life he was dancing before his Lord. This morning I am strengthened. I can take my focus off of myself and dance before my God, through the story of His amazing grace that is told though my life experiences. Others may see me and have contempt for me, but that is okay. I know my call. I have been called to speak of His mercy, grace and redeeming power. How can others grasp this if I don't speak openly about my failures? I don't have to live in fear, for He is my guide. My story is once again going to be told to a new crowed. Others who are there, who have already heard my story, may look at me with contempt, but His story must be heard. I do not have the publishing rights on this story, He does. He can do with it what He wants. Through my story, His story is revealed. His love. His grace. His redemption. My story is the story of the Cross of Christ. All of our stories ultimately tell of His story, if we can take our focus and turn it to Him. Let the story begin.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Jesus Among Other Gods
As I sit here this morning, I am in awe of my God. I am also scared to death about the new undertaking that we are watching develop. I am a house wife. I am a mom. I work for my husbands business. I am a cleaner of other peoples homes. I am a property maintenance coordinator. My plate is full and we are starting What! LIVE@WEBSTERHALL
The other day one of my college girls needed a ride to work. (I call them "my girls" for they are. They were just a little older than I originally planned.) I got her text about 6:15am and I was out the door and dropping her off by 6:30. Then I drove to Western and parked at one of the dorms that overlooked the practice field and student center. I sat there reading my book that a friend of mine gave me by, who else other than Ravi Zacharias, "Jesus Among Other Gods". As I read my beloved new book and looked out at the town, tears started to stream down my face. "What in the world am I doing? I feel so inadequate and unprepared." Then I took another look at the book I was holding in my hands, "Jesus Among Other Gods". What a more relevant book to be given at just the right time!
I am a woman of faith, but unlike some of my friends, faith has never come easy for me. There are two examples that Ravi (we are on a first name basis) speaks of in his book. I am like Moses. Not that I am even close to him, but he did keep asking for God to prove Himself. He needed that proof. Trust was not easy for him. "Repeatedly and protractedly, God pursued Moses until Moses understood that the God he served expected his trust and that He would prove Himself, both before and after the trust had been followed through. God gave him just enough, along his journey, to demonstrate who He was but saved the climatic proof for the end of Moses' journey of faith,"(pg 58). He saw the burning bush. He heard the voice of God. Then asked, "Are You sure? Maybe You don't really mean me. Right?"
Several of my friends are more like Abraham. They just have that faith. I cannot explain it. He says go and they do not stop until they hear Him scream! "Abraham is shown to us as one who so hungered after God that he was willing, with minimal outward proof, to leave his home and to build for posterity a community of faith in the living God. But even in his case, every step in is faith-building process was met with the affirmation of God," (pg 58).
My faith has always been a faith built upon questions. "Are you sure? Are You really the One? Who are You? Do you really exist? Who am I?" "God deals with both kinds of us, those of us who long for more evidence and those of us for whom a little evidence will do," (Again pg 58, so much in just one page). Together, we are stepping out in faith. It is not a blind faith. It is not a faith that is built on our own self-assurance. It is a faith that is built upon a God who has proven Himself to us, and through us.
"Only one who has known the bondage and enslavement of sin and the emptiness it brings can fully fathom the liberation of the cross and the glory of the resurrection- to hear His voice again. No wonder the world of Christian thought is so adorned with a wealth of music," (pg 187). I am inviting you to come and sing His praises with us every Tuesday night at 8pm for LIVE@WEBSTERHALL. We are venturing out on a journey of faith with the next generation at our side. We have questions. They have questions. We all know one thing, we all need and desire relationship. Come discover with us a new way to have an intimate relationship with the One who sacrificed it all. "God is personal, God is relational, and God sees in an eternal sense... He not only spoke, He also called them by their names," (pg 186). We do not know the climatic ending, but we are assured "in Him" it is going to be one great ride!
The other day one of my college girls needed a ride to work. (I call them "my girls" for they are. They were just a little older than I originally planned.) I got her text about 6:15am and I was out the door and dropping her off by 6:30. Then I drove to Western and parked at one of the dorms that overlooked the practice field and student center. I sat there reading my book that a friend of mine gave me by, who else other than Ravi Zacharias, "Jesus Among Other Gods". As I read my beloved new book and looked out at the town, tears started to stream down my face. "What in the world am I doing? I feel so inadequate and unprepared." Then I took another look at the book I was holding in my hands, "Jesus Among Other Gods". What a more relevant book to be given at just the right time!
I am a woman of faith, but unlike some of my friends, faith has never come easy for me. There are two examples that Ravi (we are on a first name basis) speaks of in his book. I am like Moses. Not that I am even close to him, but he did keep asking for God to prove Himself. He needed that proof. Trust was not easy for him. "Repeatedly and protractedly, God pursued Moses until Moses understood that the God he served expected his trust and that He would prove Himself, both before and after the trust had been followed through. God gave him just enough, along his journey, to demonstrate who He was but saved the climatic proof for the end of Moses' journey of faith,"(pg 58). He saw the burning bush. He heard the voice of God. Then asked, "Are You sure? Maybe You don't really mean me. Right?"
Several of my friends are more like Abraham. They just have that faith. I cannot explain it. He says go and they do not stop until they hear Him scream! "Abraham is shown to us as one who so hungered after God that he was willing, with minimal outward proof, to leave his home and to build for posterity a community of faith in the living God. But even in his case, every step in is faith-building process was met with the affirmation of God," (pg 58).
My faith has always been a faith built upon questions. "Are you sure? Are You really the One? Who are You? Do you really exist? Who am I?" "God deals with both kinds of us, those of us who long for more evidence and those of us for whom a little evidence will do," (Again pg 58, so much in just one page). Together, we are stepping out in faith. It is not a blind faith. It is not a faith that is built on our own self-assurance. It is a faith that is built upon a God who has proven Himself to us, and through us.
"Only one who has known the bondage and enslavement of sin and the emptiness it brings can fully fathom the liberation of the cross and the glory of the resurrection- to hear His voice again. No wonder the world of Christian thought is so adorned with a wealth of music," (pg 187). I am inviting you to come and sing His praises with us every Tuesday night at 8pm for LIVE@WEBSTERHALL. We are venturing out on a journey of faith with the next generation at our side. We have questions. They have questions. We all know one thing, we all need and desire relationship. Come discover with us a new way to have an intimate relationship with the One who sacrificed it all. "God is personal, God is relational, and God sees in an eternal sense... He not only spoke, He also called them by their names," (pg 186). We do not know the climatic ending, but we are assured "in Him" it is going to be one great ride!
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