Rejecting God

1 Samuel 8, “'Look,' they told him, 'you are now old, and your sons are not like you. Give us a king to judge us like all the other nations have.' Samuel was displeased with their request and went to the Lord for guidance. 'Do everything they say to you,' the Lord replied, 'for it is Me they are rejecting, not you. They don’t want Me to be their king any longer. Ever since I brought them from Egypt they have continually abandoned Me and followed other gods. And now they are giving you the same treatment. Do as they ask, but solemnly warn them about the way a king will reign over them.'”

I had a vision the other day about this verse. I will pertain it to my life. When I was young all that I ever wanted was a husband. I wanted someone to come in and save me from myself. I desired nothing more than to be married. All the while God was calling me to be His. He desired for me to want Him. He had come to save me from myself and He knew that no one else could give me what I truly desired. However, I would not listen to Him. I desired a husband and no one could stop me from my pursuit. He tried to warn me. All of my friends were against me getting married (the first time). But I was determined, I just knew getting married would solve all of my problems. So I did.

As I look back upon my choice, I can see all of the warnings. I could hear every living being on earth screaming at me to stop what I was doing, but my mind was made up and I was running away to Vegas to prove them wrong.

"A king, a husband to rule over you. Don't you know that I love you and if you will wait with Me I will give you a better life than you could ever imagine. I love you and I desire to be your Husband. I will not rule over you like the wrong man will. I will love you and I will cherish you. You are my bride and I will take care of you. Don't you trust me." These were the words that God was whispering to my heart, but my desire made it so that I could not hear Him. I not only could not hear Him, I did not want to.

How many times have our own desires led us down the wrong path in our life. If we could learn the lesson without the heartache things would go so much easier. But, as a child of God, I am just like my children. They learn better when there is a little pain involved, or if I make there situation uncomfortable.

I am not against desiring marriage. I am married to a wonderful man, but when we got married, Jason was not my desire. I married Jason out of obedience to God. This time my focus was different. This time my focus was on God, and through my husband, I have been able to see what God had desired for me all along. He desires for me to be happy. He desires for me to live a life full of love. He desires for me to be in a relationship with Him first, so that He can bless my relationships that I have with others. It is all about my focus. It is all about my desire. The hard part is when we continually refuse to listen to His gentile whispers of love, He will finally let you have what you want. The problem is that our dreams rarely coincide with reality.

What are you desiring? Where is your focus? “It is important for you and me to know that God is not really giving us a more ethical way by which to live, but He is giving us a life that we could never manufacture on our own; by changing our hearts and changing our hungers.” (RZ) It took several years for my desire to be for my husband or for my marriage. God needed me to focus on Him so that He could change me from within. Then my life was changed in a more dramatic way than I could have ever imagined. He changed my heart and my hunger was for Him alone. Now because He knows my heart to be faithful to Him, my desire for my husband, for my marriage is extreme. I have what I always desired, but He first had to know that I desired Him more. I have my dream, but it is not because I am married to the perfect man. He is good, but he is not perfect. I have a wonderful life because God is my focus and my true life. I was rejecting God because of my desire for a husband. I now desire God and I am blessed, for I finally started to listen.