Teens and Sex

Proverbs 4:23, "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." (NLT)

How can you watch TV or listen to music, without thinking about sex? I cannot imagine what it would be like growing up in this society today, where you cannot even listen to music without thinking of the video that plays in your mind. Our kids are on the front lines of the battle and we as adults are standing on the sideline watching as our kids are fighting alone. Some people may have problems with me speaking to the kids about sex during our high school lunches. Some may think that I share too much and that I should not be telling the kids that I used to be a stripper, or the other realities of my past life. But I cannot help it, I have to put my own life on the line for these kids who are being bombarded every day with the illusions and lies of the world. Out of courtesy to the parents, I feel I need them to hear as well.

Sophia's Kitchen: We have spent this entire year focusing on sex as we have talked with the girls. It is a big issue and we only have a few minutes to talk with them. We started out with our heroes. Those women who have gone before, who were married like Christ intended, untouched. We shared with the girls the triumphal entry into a life without the major regrets of sexual sin. While they were young, these women stood against the desire to fit in with others around them and to guard their bodies. They have lived very cool lives! One of our heroes travelled throughout Europe and started her own business before she dated at all. She found her identity, before she committed to marriage. Another hero is a cool snowboarding beauty. As her now husband proposed to her she had to take off her purity ring to put on her engagement ring. As she did this, the realities of what she had been fighting for hit her and she handed him her purity ring with the most beautiful words, "This is for you!" We started with the heroes who fought the fight while they were young, but then we moved to the stories of redemption. I have told my story, but it has not been to glamorise my past, but to tell of the wonderful saviour who can bring purity to those who no longer feel pure. We needed to be able to speak to all of our girls and leave none out.

Hoodlum Lunch: I spoke to the boys about pornography and the addiction they are faced with every day. I did not plant any seeds in their minds that would make them fall, but I told the truth about what the media sells as a lie. It is important for them to hear how this makes a woman feel. You hear many wives speak about the heartache they find when their husband struggles with pornography. The heartache comes from God, for He made us for our husbands. When men struggle with looking at other women, it makes us feel like less of a woman. I had to open up to the boys in order for them to hear me. I was a woman that could not please my ex-husband because of his pornography. I have seen the destruction of it first hand. “Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain. It comes from being weary of pleasure.” (RZ) A masculine man will help others around him to be more pure. A macho man will think that his next sexual experience is a conquest, and that is what makes him great.

We seem to think that we cannot talk to our kids about the realities of sex. We think that if we do not talk about it, then it is not real. They are in a fight, and the fight is for their hearts. Many of them have porn on their phones. As they watch TV, even the commercials are filled with sex. The songs they listen to are no longer just songs, but as they listen the video is played in their minds. Our girls are being taught that they need to be the aggressor. Our boys are addicted to pornography before they even reach puberty. One of my college girls, I have many, was raped last year when she got drunk at a party and passed out. The boy who committed the dreadful act said in one of his college classes, "If a girl gets drunk and passes out, it is her own fault." No remorse. No hiding what he had done. This is what our boys are being taught. This is what our girls are being reduced to. We are in a fight for their hearts, for their lives. It is not a joke! It is not to be dismissed in the hopes that it will all go away. It is here and we are in a fight for our kid's lives.