Boundaries

1 Thessalonians 1:4, " We know, dear brothers and sisters, that God loves you and has chosen you to be His own people. For when we brought you the Good News, it was not only with words but also with power, for the Holy Spirit gave you full assurance that what we said was true. And you know of our concern for you from the way we lived when we were with you. ...(2:4) Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts."

For the past couple of days I have had a reoccurring theme, it is boundaries. I have heard people speaking about boundaries and seen it on my emails. It is appearing everywhere! When God speaks to me in this way, I must take notice. We have been dealing with boundaries in our house. You see we have two precious college girls living with us. God brought these girls into our lives and so they now rent a bedroom from us. They live with us, eat with us and visit with us. They are part of our extended family, for they have become part of our family by living here. But we have been dealing with boundaries.

Our first concern, and what is most important to us is our immediate family, we have two young boys living here as well. Our first concern is for them, and because of this we have to have boundaries with the girls. We have to have a boundary with drinking in our house, they cannot, we have too much to loose. We must have a boundary on curfew, for we must get up early to take care of our family and if we are woken up after 1 a.m. it is too hard to get a good sleep after that. We must have boundaries, we must. The hard part is that I need the boundaries for myself as well. It would be so easy for me to set aside everything else and just concentrate on the girls, but I cannot. I must back off and let God do the work that He does, and for me to do the work that He has called me to do, and that is to provide a house.

(4:11) "Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. Then people who are not Christians will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others." I must remember that I am not their savior. No matter how badly my heart breaks for them, they are not really my responsibility. I am not their mother, or their god. This is a very hard boundary for me. So while these girls may be thinking that we are putting too many rules on them, it is not just them, I am also learning about boundaries myself. (5:6) " So be on your guard, not asleep like the others. Stay alert and be clearheaded. Night is the time when people sleep and drinkers get drunk. But let us who live in the light be clearheaded, protected by the armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of our salvation. For God chose to save us through our Lord Jesus Christ, not to pour out His anger on us. Christ died for us so that, whether we are dead or alive when He returns, we can live with Him forever. So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing."

Oswald Chambers, "What understanding do you have of the salvation of your soul? The work of salvation means that in your real life things are dramatically changed. You no longer look at things in the same way. Your desires are new and the old things have lost their power to attract you. One of the tests for determining if the work of salvation in your life is genuine is— has God changed the things that really matter to you? If you still yearn for the old things, it is absurd to talk about being born from above— you are deceiving yourself. If you are born again, the Spirit of God makes the change very evident in your real life and thought. And when a crisis comes, you are the most amazed person on earth at the wonderful difference there is in you. There is no possibility of imagining that you did it. It is this complete and amazing change that is the very evidence that you are saved." God is the one doing the saving, not me. God is working, I can see it. What has He called me to do? What is He telling me is my responsibility? What are the boundaries that I must make and am I keeping them. Everyone has boundaries that they must live by. What are yours?

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/11/12/devotion.aspx?year=2009

Take Now, Not Later

Oswald Chambers, "God’s command is, "Take now," not later. It is incredible how we debate! We know something is right, but we try to find excuses for not doing it immediately. If we are to climb to the height God reveals, it can never be done later— it must be done now. And the sacrifice must be worked through our will before we actually perform it...God chose the test for Abraham, and Abraham neither delayed nor protested, but steadily obeyed. If you are not living in touch with God, it is easy to blame Him or pass judgment on Him. You must go through the trial before you have any right to pronounce a verdict, because by going through the trial you learn to know God better. God is working in us to reach His highest goals until His purpose and our purpose become one."

If anyone knows the calling of God to change, it is me. How often was the decision placed right in front of me. How often did I turn Him down, only to find heartache in my choices, only because I did not, "Take it now." Every day we have choices placed in front of us. With most of those choices the clear, right answer, we know. It is when we choose to "take it later" that things go wrong. This is a journey that we must partake in on our own, no matter who is around us. This is the personal part. The part that is the most difficult, because during this part, He is calling us as His only child. This is when we run the risk of loosing friends and battling our sinful desires in order to suffer through the boredom. But it does not matter if we do it now when He says, or wait till later, ultimately we must do it. What we have to discover is when is it worth it to us. Do we really have to hit rock bottom before we are finally willing to listen? If so, why? Why do my little boys insist on getting a spanking? Why can't we just open our hearts to the truth, before the beating starts?

Colossians 3:17, "So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. Because of these sins, the anger of God is coming. You used to do these things when your life was still part of this world. But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him...Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom He gives."

We all have choices to make every day. The thing that we have to realize is that His ways are better, if we will suffer through the desires of our own selfish ways. We are selfish by nature, and this is why we hurt others so often. We want what we want and we want it now. But what we must realize is that God is calling us, right now, to change our desires. He is calling us to have a better life. For no matter what our circumstances are, with Him it is better. Do you hear Him calling you to a better existence? Change is hard, but if you can grab hold of it right now, it will make latter even better. "God’s command is, "Take now," not later. It is incredible how we debate! We know something is right, but we try to find excuses for not doing it immediately." Right now, do what you know you must do. Even if it hurts, right now.

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/11/11/devotion.aspx?year=2009

Husbands, Love your Wives...

I have lived two very different marriages, one without God and one in God. How I love the one in God, for God's love is the only way to have a good marriage. My marriage with Jason did not start out as most marriages do. We can truly say that the reason that we got married, was because we felt that was what God was telling each of us to do. God was the reason we were together and God was the reason we got married. Anyone in their right mind would not have wanted to marry me at that time, for let me tell you, I was a broken and battered woman. Jason was not what I would have chosen either. He just was not my type, but I had learned that "my type" was not the right type. Even though the first few years of our relationship were very hard, we were following God from the beginning, and because of this, we have a very blessed marriage.

My vows: Jason, I love you and I know that you love me, I am confident that God has chosen you to be my husband, It is my prayer and desire that you will find in me, the help mate God designed especially for you, And in confidence I will submit myself unto your leadership...
Jason's vows: Jenny, I love you and I know this love is from God, Because of this I want to be your husband, So that we might serve Christ together, Through all of the uncertainties and trials of the present and future, I promise to be faithful to you and love you, I promise to guide and protect you...

I can say with confidence that we have a marriage that represents the love of Christ and trust me, it is wonderful. We did it right, but if you think laying down our own desires in the beginning was easy, you are nuts. It is hard to let go of your life and let Christ take control. Everything in our nature was screaming, "run." But instead of running, we both held on to that small calm inside that was saying, "let Me take control, so that I can bless you."

Ephesians 5:21ff, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

When I left my ex, I left a note on the table. In that note, I said that I needed to be cherished as a wife and not destroyed. For our marriage was not a godly marriage it was selfish and destructive. Then God gave me Jason. I did not understand how much Christ loved me, until I felt the redeeming love of my Husband. He did not care where I had been or the baggage that I was bringing into the marriage. He washed me and helped me to feel pure. He cleansed me and cherished me as his bride, the only one he would ever want. He made me his, and his love was a godly love. He did not want to share my love with anyone, or anything. He loved me enough to show me who I really was, and that was a bride covered under the protection of her groom. This man holds my heart, body, spirit, and soul in his hands. I respect him, with the highest respect. He showed me who my true savior was, by mimicking Him. With God as our foundation, we have discovered what marriages are really for.

Jimmy Evans, "Satan has a special hatred toward marriages. Marriage is the visible image of Christs relationship with the church, in this world. In this way, marriages project the very image of God on Earth... Satan is trying to tear down marriages so that God's authority on Earth will be compromised. Satan did not attack Adam and Eve, he attacked marriages." What is your marriage saying to others about God? How do you treat your spouse? Are they able to see Christ's redeeming love through your actions towards them? Are you cherishing and washing your bride? Are you honoring and respecting your husband? Are you loving yourself, by loving the one you are with? I have had two marriages, one with God and one without Him. With Him leading, you can never go wrong. It is through your marriage that He wanted others to see His love. Do they?

Being a Follower

Galatians 1:3-5, "May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace. Jesus gave his life for our sins, just as God our Father planned, in order to rescue us from this evil world in which we live. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen."

I can very easily cry for the past sins in my life. I can mourn for the life that I led and the choices that I made. I do not live in the past, but if anyone knows the severity of my sin, I do. For, I know how many I hurt along the way. The thing that I grieve the most is the fact that I was weak. I was a follower, and a leader. A good friend of mine explained it very well for me the other day. She said, "You and I have the same personality all that matters is, who you are around. If we are with good, they can point us toward good. If we are around evil, we help them in evil. But, it does not stop there, they will get us headed in that direction, then we take off. We become the leader, we just need help in going the right direction." Everyone who knows me, probably sees this, it is the directing that can be tricky. The thing that I am struggling with at the moment are the tears. I am not so sure that I should cry any longer. And yes while I am writing this, tears are forming, but anyway. I cannot cry for how my life has turned out, for Christ was the leader in that one.

Do you know how much I love my God! I am so in love with Him, because I know there is nothing I can do to earn His favor. Yet, He came and chose me. His salvation is a free gift. His love is never ending, because trust me, I pushed that envelope to the limits, and He never left me. Maybe, I should stop the tears from flowing so easily, I don't know. But they are not really tears of heartache they are tears of thankfulness. I am so grateful for the life that I have today. I am so undeserving of any of it, and I know this. I truly did nothing to earn anything that I have. It was all by His grace and favor that I have any of it. My life is different, because I finally decided to allow Him to point me where I needed to go. I finally decided to let go and trust in His love. Do you know how freeing this is? I am finally free, and the more I see that it was His guiding me, that led me here, the more free I am to enjoy my life.

Galatians 3:5-6, "I ask you again, does God give you the Holy Spirit and work miracles among you because you obey the law? Of course not! It is because you believe the message you heard about Christ. In the same way, 'Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.' The real children of Abraham, then, are those who put their faith in God." I have done nothing to deserve the love of my God. Yet, He died for me and took the curse of the cross upon Himself. If you think that you have to be "good" to believe, then you are missing the point. The actions do follow, but it takes time. What He wants is a repentant heart and a willingness to follow Him, wherever He may lead. Then after you get there, be thankful to Him for loving you, even before you were born.

Oswald Chambers, "Galatians 2:20, 'I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me . . .' These words mean the breaking and collapse of my independence brought about by my own hands, and the surrendering of my life to the supremacy of the Lord Jesus. No one can do this for me, I must do it myself. God may bring me up to this point three hundred and sixty-five times a year, but He cannot push me through it. It means breaking the hard outer layer of my individual independence from God, and the liberating of myself and my nature into oneness with Him; not following my own ideas, but choosing absolute loyalty to Jesus. Once I am at that point, there is no possibility of misunderstanding. Very few of us know anything about loyalty to Christ or understand what He meant when He said, '. . . for My sake' (Matthew 5:11). That is what makes a strong saint."

Godly Sorrow

2 Corinthians 7:8-12, "I know I distressed you greatly with my letter. Although I felt awful at the time, I don't feel at all bad now that I see how it turned out. The letter upset you, but only for a while. Now I'm glad—not that you were upset, but that you were jarred into turning things around. You let the distress bring you to God, not drive you from him. The result was all gain, no loss. Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets. And now, isn't it wonderful all the ways in which this distress has goaded you closer to God? You're more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible. Looked at from any angle, you've come out of this with purity of heart. And that is what I was hoping for..." (The Message)

No one likes to hear, they have been living wrong. Trust me, no one wants to tell someone else they are headed for death. I have been on both sides of the scolding, and both sides I have loathed. When I was young, I was often getting the oral punishment. I hated it and wanted to tell the other person "they were wrong," so that I could go and do my own thing. But, now that I am older, I just hope these younger ones will listen to someone who has already been there.

Paul is speaking here about two different kinds of sorrow. There is a sorrow for the consequences, that inevitably always come. And, their is a sorrow that leads to repentance, a change in our hearts, so that change in behavior inevitably follows. If it is a sorrow for only the consequences, we are doomed to stay in our life of sin. I did this for many years. I was always looking forward to the times when, I thought, I was getting away with "it" and just having fun. It was worth the risk, for my heart about the matter had not changed. The sorrow that leads to repentance is a godly sorrow. It is a sorrow that hits us in our hearts. It takes us to our knees and allows God to finally control our life. This sorrow and true repentance is the gift that He gives us, just before we are born again, fresh and new with Him. This sorrow gives life. The other, only leads us further and further from truth, deeper and deeper into unfathomable consequences.

If we will open our eyes just long enough to see who really loves us, maybe we will be able to listen. If we can listen to their reproach, then maybe we can hear Him calling us to a better life. If we will just listen enough, and stay long enough, then maybe we can see what true living is all about.

Oswald Chambers, "We have the idea that God rewards us for our faith, and it may be so in the initial stages. But we do not earn anything through faith— faith brings us into the right relationship with God and gives Him His opportunity to work. Yet God frequently has to knock the bottom out of your experience as His saint to get you in direct contact with Himself... Faith by its very nature must be tested and tried. And the real trial of faith is not that we find it difficult to trust God, but that God’s character must be proven as trustworthy in our own minds. Faith being worked out into reality must experience times of unbroken isolation... Faith, as the Bible teaches it, is faith in God coming against everything that contradicts Him— a faith that says, 'I will remain true to God’s character whatever He may do.'"

When my heart first began to change, I did not trust that I would enjoy a new life more. I did not have enough faith in God to see the boredom through, so that His true light could be felt. God had to strip me of everything that I was holding on to, and He had to reveal just how detestable I really was. For then, my blinders were removed and I could see myself for what I really was, a fallen, sinful woman, who was dying more, every day. This took time, for there was a war within me. The war eventually boiled down to, "do I believe in God?" Everything that we do, all boils down to this. Do you believe in God? Do you trust Him enough to finally let go and follow what He wants for your life? For what His true desire for is, is for us find out what true living is all about. Has someone come to you lately with a scold or a concern for your behavior? Are you willing to allow them to love you enough, for you to listen? What kind of sorrow do you feel? Is it a sorrow for consequences, or for a repentant heart?

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/10/31/devotion.aspx?year=2009

It's a Heart Issue

1 Corinthians 5:9ff, "When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people. It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, 'You must remove the evil person from among you.'”

This verse has been one of those touchy subjects that I have struggled with for many years. It is not easy. For when you tell someone they are wrong, they often come back with "don't judge me, or you are supposed to love and not reject me, for my sin is no greater than yours." But read it again. What does it say? You can see for yourself what we as Christ followers are supposed to do. This does not mean that we reject those who are weak in their faith and struggling. This does not mean that we are to expect a new believer to all of a sudden "get it all right and live perfectly." For we all do sin. None of us are perfect. However, it is a heart issue.

2 Samuel 12, Nathan confronts David about his murder of Uriah and adultery with Bathsheba. "Then David confessed to Nathan, 'I have sinned against the Lord.' Nathan replied, 'Yes, but the Lord has forgiven you, and you won’t die for this sin. But you have given the enemies of the Lord great opportunity to despise and blaspheme Him, so your child will die.'” In this, you cannot tell me that David did not know that he was doing wrong before Uriah confronted him. He knew. He tried to hide it, and he married Bathsheba anyway. But, after he was drowning in his sin, then he was ready to listen and repent. That is when God called Uriah to confront the issue. However, David's confession did not take away the consequences for his sin.

God has called us to live to a higher standard. Even if we are doing the exact same thing as everyone else, by calling ourselves Christians, we are professing something completely different. This opens the door for unbelievers to blaspheme God. It is His name you are hindering and His reputation that you are tarnishing, because of the name you claim.

Did Uriah tell David to leave Bathsheba? No, David was married to her and that would just add more destruction upon sin already committed. They were now married, whether others liked it or not. But because of their sin, their children paid a very high price. His confession did not take away the consequences of his sin. His heart was ultimately for God, for He did not try and excuse his actions to Uriah. His response to Uriah was one of sorrow and shame. So here is the guide to revealing your heart. When you are confronted about sin you are living in, do you try and pass the blame on someone else? Do you make excuses and try to defend your actions? It does not matter how you have acted in the past about the subject. How do you act now? Are you full of regrets? You cannot go back and fix the past. You cannot change what you have done or who you have hurt, but you can have a truthful look at yourself and see what you have done to Christ's name, by how you have acted. Are you truly sorry, or do you try and excuse yourself, still?

If you are still trying to excuse what you have done, don't blame others for letting you go. They may be doing exactly what 1 Corinthians is instructing them to do. Don't sit and justify your actions and demand others to accept you. Look at your sin for what it really is and ask for forgiveness. Once we have done this, we are to try and live our lives from this point on to glorify His name. What are your responses to others, saying about your heart toward God? Once you confront someone and they confess their sin with a repentant heart, we are to forgive them and bring them back to Christ's love. From every angle, whether you are the one confronting or the one bieng confronted, it is a heart issue. What are your actions saying about your heart?

Child of the Most High God

As I was walking into the banquet, everything in me wanted to turn and run the other direction. Have you ever felt like a fish out of water, or that you had just arrived for a stoning to find out it was yours? This is how I felt. I don't know if you know much about Mennonites, but they are what I would call very conservative. The banquet was for Open Door Pregnancy Center, and over half of the 600 attending were either Mennonites, Nazarenes, or Amish. And here I was "dressed for a banquet", wearing a nice dress, high-heal boots, make-up on, hair done. The feeling of being a stripper just about over took me. I have not been one for many years, but in that room, I sure felt like one.

God knew I needed this night. You see God asked me, through The Open Door, to be their speaker (not at the banquet, but in the future) , to bring the message of how wonderful waiting until you are married before having sex can be. A center put together by the conservative of conservatives, and they have asked me to deliver their message to teens. This could truly only be God. There is no other explanation. I know this, but the feeling of condemnation just about got the best of me that night. My focus had turned to myself, instead of keeping my eyes on Christ. This never works, for if I look at myself, I see a pathetic woman who made all of the wrong choices in my life. I see a woman who was the worst of the worst, a sinner by a heathens standards. But if I keep my eyes upon my Lord, then I see His goodness and not my sin. For in reality we are all fallen, I needed Christ's forgiveness no more than anyone in that room. Without Christ, we are all fallen and live in sin. Oh, but how Satan tries to defeat us, before we have even begun. He tries to condemn us, before we even walk in the door. He has a way of trying to turn our focus away from Christ and back to ourselves.

Romans 3, 8, "But now God has shown us a way to be made right with Him without keeping the requirements of the law, as was promised in the writings of Moses and the prophets long ago. We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when He freed us from the penalty for our sins....Can we boast, then, that we have done anything to be accepted by God? No, because our acquittal is not based on obeying the law. It is based on faith. So we are made right with God through faith and not by obeying the law... So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to Him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death... And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. For God knew His people in advance, and He chose them to become like His Son, so that His Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, He called them to come to Him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with Himself. And having given them right standing, He gave them His glory. What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since He did not spare even His own Son but gave Him up for us all, won’t He also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for His own? No one—for God Himself has given us right standing with Himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and He is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us."

Wherever I go, whoever I am around, it does not matter and I should hold my head high. It is Christ who has saved me, and by knowing that, He has given me the power to walk into any crowd. He called me to go, so I must go. As long as I look to Him and keep my focus on Him, I will be fine. Whatever I do, it is for Him. I am only the one passing on His message, it really is not about me at all. It is not about how bad I was or how good I may think I am now, for all have sinned and no one can keep the law. All that matters is Christ. He has come to save us all, no matter where we have traveled. It is about His mighty saving power. It is about His grace. It is about His redeeming love. It is about the Cross. Romans 10:8-11, “'The message is very close at hand; it is on your lips and in your heart.' And that message is the very message about faith that we preach: If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. As the Scriptures tell us, 'Anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced.'” There is no condemnation in Christ. When that feeling tries to overcome you, hold your head high, for you are a child of the Most High God.

Oswald Chambers, "Thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ . . . 2 Corinthians 2:14 We are to God the fragrance of Christ . . ." ( 2 Corinthians 2:15). We are encompassed with the sweet aroma of Jesus, and wherever we go we are a wonderful refreshment to God."

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/10/24/devotion.aspx?year=2009