The Mountains in the Distance

I received this sweet email this morning from a man who inspires me.  We all need these people on our lives, so I thought it time to share mine with you....

Jenny--

I just re-read your blog -- it has been a hectic busy time since leaving CB, so I haven't been able to write back.  I did try on the blog itself but then seemed to lose it in the ether when I thought I was saving it to your blog section.  I hate losing words just by hitting a wrong key.

Anyway, you are so right and as usual so inspiring about pressing on through failure.  I do not think you have to be ruled by never letting failure stop you, even in front of your children.  My father was incredibly successful in public service, going so far as to be a Deputy Director of the CIA, but he did not succeed always...yet he was a person of such high personal character that he was respected by everyone and an inspiration to two generations who followed him.  And he did not let one failure stop him...he kept on.  I do not think "failure" is the right word in most cases and certainly not where anything you do or try is concerned. Lack of success is a better description, as failure is way too harsh a word...after all, nobody thinks of a climber as a failure simply because they do not make it up a peak.  It took me five tries to make it up Mount Wilson, and three to get up Capitol Peak when I did it the second time.

I was so inspired by my father, because he was always "right" in his motivation and guiding principles.  He   was a person of Jesus or a true part of what I hope and believe God stands for or is -- without ever having to mention either of their names, let alone invoke their names or even set foot in church on any regular basis.

I cannot help but believe that you will always be an inspiration to your children...even if it takes ten attempts to pass that real estate test...or even if the goal eludes you.  Of course, it will not elude you.  You will pass it, and it will mean so much when you do.

You blog is so good because you have let loose your frustration with "failure"; others, me included, can relate to it.  There is God's purpose in everything, even lack of success in something where hard work and perseverance deserve a better outcome.  There is an old English saying, by someone famous I believe, "It's an ill wind that blows no good." And the good in what you are upset about is that you have tried so hard.  It is easy to do easy things; you are not doing an easy thing.  You are not doing something that is easy for you. It is your own personal "Mount Everest".  No one can fail to admire that.


This was his email to me. This next part is from a whole inspirational collective that I have previously written... Please be inspired! Oh, and I passed my test! Took me 4 tries, but that 4th one I PASSED! :)

The Mountains in the Distance

He is a small older man who walks not with a normal walking cane, but with his hiking poles that once helped to propel him up towering mountain passes.  His hands are beginning to turn as arthritis is taking its swing.  As he travels through his small apartment that is beaming with bright colors of yellow and red his oxygen tubing travels with him. He can take you on the most inspiring adventures as he pulls up photos from peaks of mountains to valleys probably never looked upon by another person.  His photos speak volumes as you climb the small staircase that rises to his garage apartment and gaze through his eyes upon peaks covered in snow and dusted with clouds. As another picture of a small Asian child sitting in a boat catches your eye, you must ask, Who is this man?  

He is not a poor man, but a man who has grown up drinking fine bottles of wine that came from his own vineyards.  His daughters live abroad and were married in his castle, a true princess wedding. But now what does he do when he can barely climb the stairs in his garage apartment where he has come for so many years in order to escape into the mountains?

His words...

The Universe Turned Upside Down

It is late on the overnight flight home from San Francisco,

And a fragment of Mahler’s Eighth Symphony,

Unexpected on airline headphones,

Has me pause from restless half sleep

To think instead of trying to hold

The excitement and promise of years

Now gone four decades and more,

Tempered by the momentary return

Of their companions – uncertainty, pain, and doubt.

How can I accept that being young

Exists now only in my mind ?

Why am I so torn

When others, outwardly at least,

Seem unconcerned

That those years of starlight and storm

Are gone forever ?...”

                                                                                  Written on United Flight 792

                                                                                  San Francisco to Washington, DC

                                                                                  November 3-4, 2010

My sweet friend, he gives me such inspiration.  Yes, there are years that he cannot reach out and touch anymore; years of friendship and love, of travels and adventures.  His journey has been filled to the brim with great adventures, but his thirty plus surgeries have tried to bind him in chains; chains that never stopped him, but chains that left him with another mountain to climb.

His poetic reference as he thinks of yet another surgery...

“Bounded by the movement of my eyes in a head firmly secured.  

The reach of my voice, and the range of my left arm only.

And yet, outside that terror is the person those faces must see

As I must be-a smile, banter, hope, and determination

To climb a mountain higher than I’ve climbed before,

With bravery shown but masking its complete absence,

Amidst the thunderclaps of dependence, the fear of abandonment.

And the unfamiliar unknown…”  

Did you see it? And yet, outside that terror is the person those faces must see… a smile, banter, hope, and determination. After waking up from surgery and discovering that his arm and shoulder were paralyzed my friend thought not of the despair he felt underneath, but of how to be brave despite it, to take it as one more challenge to overcome, not a challenge that would overcome him.  His thoughts are directed to his daughter and the joy of her new engagement, his family and friends that he must be strong for are what push him to new heights.  Inside he is full of his own terror and pain, but he is Gallant as he climbs this most difficult climb that will leave him Learning to do again the tasks once so simple and easy.      

Now he is inspiring! Don’t you just love people like this.  People who make you want to be a better person. People who live life, not without fear, but live in spite of it.    His example to live through the pain inspires me to LIVE! Don’t you just love him!  Don’t you want to live better today through the difficulties you come against? Don’t you just want to rise to the occasion now that you know of my friend!

He is inspirational for me, not because of his next great adventure, but because of his peaks of joy that he conquers and climbs on a daily basis. He helps me to keep my moans at bay and this helps me accomplish my own day. I see my grandmother in his hands. I love bent and distorted fingers, for those are where I found true love.  Fond memories that are kept alive through another’s willingness to live joyfully.  I want to live like my friend.  I want to see life through the eyes of a true sufferer who knows how to overcome. For his example helps me live better today, so that I can see a tomorrow.  To live gallantly and to help others do the same, this is a grand adventure indeed. 

Walking Through the Fire

1 Corinthians 3:13-17, " But there is going to come a time of testing at the judgement day to see what kind of work each builder has done.  Everyone's work will be put through the fire to see whether or not it keeps its value.  If the work survives, that builder will receive a reward.  But if the work is burned up, the builder will suffer great loss. The builder will be saved, but like someone barely escaping through a wall of flames.   Don’t you realize that all of you together are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God lives in you?  God will destroy anyone who destroys this temple. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple."

I have had my mind and heart on my calling this morning.  I have a great sense of responsibility to my family,  but my family does not stop with just my husband and my children. (They are first, but they are not my only family.)   My family is extended to my church family as well.  So who is my church family?  My family is huge!  They are the people that I see on Sunday morning.  I may not even talk to them, but I see them and their presence strengthens me.  My family are my women friends, some of whom do not go to my "church", but they are my church family.  My family are my college kids.  They are my older children whom I love dearly and I am very excited about their lives blooming.  My family is Live @ Webster Hall, where we gather and learn to love.  My family is my church. (I wish our culture called Sunday morning church, Sunday morning synagogue.  Instead of "we are going to church", "we are going to Synagogue."  This would help us when we talk about our family, for our family is our church.  And the church are the people, not the building we meet in.)   


As I read 1 Corinthians 3 this morning, the whole chapter called out to me, but vs. 13-14 really caught my attention.  What if the judgement day is right now?  What if I am in a time of "testing" to see how I respond to my knowledge of my salvation?  What if everyday of my life is my work, and the struggles with the relationships and the things to be done, are the fires I am to persevere through?  What am I doing today as I walk through this judgement day?  It is not about my salvation.  I am saved and nothing can take that from me, but what am I doing with that salvation?  How am I affecting my family?  How am I loving, or disrespecting His temple?  How is He calling me to work today?  


One of my college kids sent me this verse today, Matthew 6:21, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."  Where is my heart?  My heart is on God and His calling in my life.  So where is my treasure?  My treasure is in my family.  Our hearts desires show us what is important to us.  My treasure is my reward.  My reward is my huge family.  (A small twist on a very big verse ;)


I have been through some very big trials in my life.  It was during these trials that I found myself all alone.  It was the loneliness of the situation that brought me to defeat within that struggle.  This life is hard.  When you find yourself in the courtroom of life facing a judge who is holding the weight of your world in his hand, it is so much more comforting to know that you have a whole team of people who are on your side and who believe in you.   I always had my parents in life, helping me and going to fight for me, but now there is so much more.  There is something that brings great comfort in knowing others will fight for me too. So often we feel we are all alone, and that is how we become defeated!  This is one of my calls.  This is one of my deepest commitments. My God is calling me to show others, they are not alone.  This fight is not a fight to battle by yourself.  This is why He has given us such a huge family.  We are the church and we stand together as one body.  This is my work.  He is calling me to share my life with others and to be with them while they are experiencing theirs.   


Today in this day, does my husband know he is not in the battle alone?  Do my children know I am always here for them?  Do my sisters know and feel my presence?  Do my college kids know they are not walking alone?  If I am doing this job well, I should see my treasure now.  My treasure that He is blessing me with does not have to wait, I should be rich in relationship.  It does not mean that it is easy.  With relationships there are always fires that need to be kindled, but with relationship there are a bounty of blessings that cannot be revoked.  This is the greatest command, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
How is your love walk today?  What is your job?  How is your work coming along as you build within this house of God?

WTO, West Texas Outfitters

WTO, the West Texas Outfitters. How could you know? My father had his group of buddies that he went hunting with. They dubbed their group the WTO. How could he know that they would all affect their children so profoundly? I am now 36 years old and they have been together since before I was born. In their plight to get away and go hunting together, our families were joined together. We were raised with this certain group of kids that were not our blood relatives, but now are our family. We watched our parents stick it out together. They have laughed together and cried together. They have been hurt by others and each other, but in their commitment to each other they have remained friends. What did we, as your children learn from you? Their are so many lessons! How can we count them all? But there is one that I will share, for it is an important lesson that our generation, as a whole, has forgotten.

How often do we allow someone to get just close enough to us that they offend us and we in turn dump them as our companion. "I am offended," we say, "and I do not have to take it from you." With our offense we abandon them as our friend and go away proudly holding on to our rights. We are a generation that has lost the ability to stick it out. We have lost our ability to build close relationships. We do not know what it means to live out a life with someone, because we do not know how to not get offended. So, we live out our life alone, not knowing where everyone has gone and we think it is their fault.

The WTO consists of 6 men and their wives. Out of this group of 6, 5 are still married to their fist wife, all are still friends. In our group of "kids" 50% of us have been divorced. Our generation has a "right" to leave if we find ourselves unhappy. None of us know of another person, or group of people, that has been more committed than our parents. They have stuck it out through the hard and good times. They have remained loyal and they understand what it means to forgive.

Galatians 5:22, "But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." I want to thank my WTO family for displaying the fruits of the Spirit for all of your children. Through your lives we have learned many lessons. We have seen you fall on your face. Then, because of your love for one another, we have watched you pick each other up and walk out this life together. None of us have walked out this life perfectly, we all still make many mistakes, but because of your example we are still learning from you and thank you for your example of commitment that our generation has lost. Because of your life, your children have something that many others do not have. We have an example of how to remain committed. We have an example of how to live out this life with others, and their faults. We have an example of how to make a true and lasting friend.

To the WTO, thank you. I am sorry for my part in not showing my life a better example of the life that you lived. There was a time when I bought the lies of my generation, but because of you, I now can see. I have played my part in our statistics, but for this next part of my life, I can do better. Thank you for showing me love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Thank you for sticking out this life together, so I can do better in the future and my children will learn this valuable lesson too. Exodus 20:6, "...I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands." Thank you, from all of us who follow after you, to be part of a beautiful blessing.

Un-Group, I Love this Body!

Every Tuesday night, for almost 2 years now, I have met with a group of women. We started out meeting in different homes, but now we all gather together in my home. I have a basement that is perfect. That is why we settled on this. We call ourselves the un-group. We have no agenda. We have nothing in mind for our time together. We have no book to guide us. We do not even, always study the bible. We come together and allow God to lead our un-group into praise and worship of Him. We cry together. We laugh together. We share our lives together. There are some women, who are always there. There are others who float in and out, depending on their home situation and what they are needing right then. This un-group of women, this is my church. This is where the true beauty of God comes alive. This is where we see the Holy Spirit move and where we see lives changed.

1 Corinthians 12:4-11, "There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us. A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge. The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have." This is my church body and I love her.

Last night we had a discussion about going to church on Sundays and what that looks like. During this discussion we had several different opinions being tossed around. I don't think that any of us really knew. Church on Sundays is an institution. I hate to say it, but it is. There are certain things that have to happen. There is a certain program that has to be run in order for everything to go smoothly. The question was tossed around about what kind of teaching needed to be taught there. Does it need to me "milk" for the ones who are new and who do not have a strong faith walk yet? Does it need to be "meat" to help spur on those who have been Christ followers for sometime now?

I wrestled with these questions all night. When I awoke this morning and opened my bible, I could hear the answer. It did not come to me through the words that I was reading. It came to my heart. (Then later my heart's desire was put into its place and I have changed what I thought needed to be changed in this writing). Sunday mornings is a time for the believers to come and sing praises to their God together, to worship Him. It is a time to introduce yourself to new people. The meat that we so desire that Sunday morning to give us, is not enough if we expect it to happen once a week. This cannot happen on Sunday mornings, not the way it happens to us on Tuesday nights. If everyone were part of a "small group" then when that person comes in for the first time, who does not know what worship is all about, then the believers should take that person and invite them into "group" night so that the body can work its magic. Just like there are many different "churches" in a town there needs to be many different groups, so that a person can join that group and be fed what they can eat at that time in their life. If they are a new believer, they can receive milk. If they are someone who has been on this journey for some time now, they can eat the meat they need.

This is how it can work. I saw a new woman in our church one day. I made it my goal to go up to her, introduce myself, and invite her into my home on Tuesday night. Now, I am not sure if our un-group is the "right" one for her, but at least she feels like part of the body now. She can come to church on Sunday mornings to meet with people who have the same goal in mind and she does not feel like an outcast by being there. Tuesday night is where the true body of Christ is felt for us. This is where true "church" happens. Now that my friend feels comfortable in our group, if she needs to find another group, she will not feel so uncomfortable in joining another group that may better serve her what she can handle. She is part of the body and she can now find her place. But it all started because she walked into our church, she was invited into a home, she felt desired. This would have never happened if she had not been invited home. Home is where the true teaching needs to happen. Home is where the true church meets.

So if you go to church on Sunday, why are you going? Are you going there to get your fill for the week, until the next Sunday? Are you joined with other believers, part of a small group, during the week? Do you see the new faces who need to be invited into your home, into your group? What does church look like for you? If you are new, if you have been there for your entire life, have you plugged into a small group? If you have not, you are missing the true "church".

Walls

The older my son gets, the more I can see me in my relationship with my God. In this case, I am in the place of God in my relationship with my son, as God is to me in our relationship. I love my son no matter what, but when he disobeys me, he is the one building the walls between us. It is a matter of constant little disobedience that builds those walls one brick, one rebellious moment at a time.

Just the other night I had had my fill of those rebellious moments. I asked him to go and take a shower. Which in reply, he informed me that he just needed to wash his feet. This went back and forth several times, till I just said, "Go." When he came out he had only washed his feet! Then I very firmly told him, he better get in there and wash his whole body, now. When he got out he did another subtle little act of disobedience and the scolding was on. He thought it was my fault and I was being too hard on him. For this act was so small, but it was a combination of them all, all day long, that I was seeing. After we shared some tears, I explained to him that when he obeys me we have a good relationship. But, when he disobeys me, he is the one building the walls between us. It is his act of rebellion that places those feelings of rejection, anger, aloneness, all those negative feelings he thinks that I am responsible for, he is the true owner of those feelings. He is the one responsible for building that wall.

How we can become so concerned with our parts of obedience that we forget that God sees the whole picture, not just that act, in that moment. We think, "But, I am doing so good. Did you see that I sacrificed here? I gave my part in that... here." Jesus had just one thing to say about doing our little acts of obedience in one area, while neglecting the others. “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest income from your herb gardens, but you ignore the more important aspects of the law—justice, mercy, and faith. You should tithe, yes, but do not neglect the more important things..." (Matthew 23:23) The emphasis was on doing your part in all God is calling you to do, not just one area. He did not say that you could just pick one area and leave out something else. No, He said, "tithe, yes..." As we give back to God we do not get to choose just one thing and leave out the rest of the body. Tithe, then do whatever else He is telling you to do. It is not a choice between different things, but to do as much you can, as often as you are presented with the opportunity. Some may think, "but I do not work at the church building this scripture is for them, not me." Be careful. There is more. We cannot take just one thing that Jesus says and leave out another part. “But I warn you—unless your righteousness is better than the righteousness of the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven!" (Matthew 5:20). No, every bit is for everyone.

How many times do we have an opportunity to serve, or to love on someone, or to open our home up and have someone over, or to give that little extra bit of money in our pocket? How many times do we neglect the subtle nudges from God to obey? How many times have we disobeyed Him and in return built a small piece of wall between the two of us. How many times have we neglected to spend that precious moment with just Him, so that we will be better equipped to deal with the rest of this life that is facing us?

We are not called to be like our pastor, our teacher, our friend, or our neighbor. We are called be like Christ. He is our example and He is perfect. He always gave first. He always considered those special moments alone with God to be most valuable. He always gave everything He had. He never asked for anything in return, except for us to do as He does. Do we? Or are we slowly building a wall between us and Christ by what we do not do? It is not a matter of salvation. That was done by Christ alone, on the Cross. It is a matter of whether or not we are willing to obey or not. We cannot have that pure relationship with Christ that we desire if we are constantly building walls between us.

Mentors

The mighty men of old, how they can teach us. If we will only open our eyes and our ears for what they have to say to us, we can learn from them in ways that we could never imagine. David, the man after God's own heart. Have you ever noticed that he had Nathan? Nathan was the one who told David the truth about what he saw in David's life. David the king of kings, had a counselor. Everyone needs someone who will tell them the truth, even if that truth hurts. Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived. Have you noticed that he had no one who would give him counsel? No one ever told him his faults, nor pointed out his sin. He was the wisest man, yet his heart turned from God. He surrounded himself with unbelievers, and the wisest man became a fool with his own life. Elijah, he was God's personal messenger, and yet right after he had one of his biggest triumphs with God, he prayed he would die. He felt like he was the only one left who stood with the Lord. He had no one to walk with him on his journey, and this aloneness became one of his greatest struggles. Counselors, friends, we all need someone who will walk with us in truth and love.

2 John 4-6, "How happy I was to meet some of your children and find them living according to the truth, just as the Father commanded. I am writing to remind you, dear friends, that we should love one another. This is not a new commandment, but one we have had from the beginning. Love means doing what God has commanded us, and he has commanded us to love one another, just as you heard from the beginning." Through this journey of life, we all have people surrounding us. In one situation we find that we are the mentor for others. In another place, we find that we are the ones needing the mentoring. No one is immune to this. We all need others with us on this journey. If you think that you do not need to listen to others and that you are fine without their counsel, beware, this is how Solomon felt. David was king and yet he humbled himself enough to listen to Nathan's counsel. Elijah had a most wonderful relationship with God, but his greatest defeat came right after one of his greatest victories; for he was all alone. We need others to walk with us in truth and love, and we need to walk with others with truth and love ourselves.

As I look at my life and the people that influenced me the most, I have to look at the truth in myself and how I have influenced others. I have been been the fool, but I did not have wise counsel and when I was given warnings, I did not listen. I thought that I could do it myself. It was in this, that I found out how far from God I could stray. I spent several years alone with God. This time was good, for I learned how much He loved me, but I needed a friend to walk with me. God has given me friends to walk with me on this journey. They are all different ages. Some are my mentors. They have raised their families and learned to love their husbands. Others are my peers. They are my mighty women. These women walk beside me, going through life at the same stage, learning with me. Yet, others are the sweet young women who are just starting out on their journey of finding who they are. I may be one of their mentors, sharing my joys, pain, and love with them as they learn who God is.

Have you stepped back from your busy life to see the others around you? Do you know who is influencing you the most? Do you know who and how you are influencing others? Oh, don't be deceived. You are influencing others. The question is.... is it for good or is it for bad? Everyone needs someone who can counsel them. Everyone, no matter how strong their relationship with Christ is, needs someone to walk with them and experience and learn life with them. Everyone has someone watching and learning from them. If you have someone willing to love you in truth, you may be blessed as David was blessed. His heart stayed for God, all because his counselor was willing to tell him the hard truth. If you think you need no one's advise, you may be in danger of turning your heart from God like Solomon did. If you are walking high with God, yet you are alone and have no one walking beside you, you are in danger of becoming defeated right after your greatest victory as Elijah did. Do we know that we are someones mentor? Do we know that we need a mentor?

Oswald Chambers, "There are times when there is no storm or crisis in our lives, and we do all that is humanly possible. But it is when a crisis arises that we instantly reveal upon whom we rely. If we have been learning to worship God and to place our trust in Him, the crisis will reveal that we can go to the point of breaking, yet without breaking our confidence in Him." The time will come in our life when we need someone to remind us of our victory through the storm. Another time will come when we will need to walk with them through theirs. It is all about love in truth. We must have relationships to build us in love. We must be that for others.

So Long Insecurity

Insecurity, who hasn't struggled with this one. The question is, "How do you deal with insecurity, and what are we insecure about?" I have struggled with insecurity. I want to say, more than most, but I know this is probably not true. It is probably more true to say we all struggle with it the same, it just manifests itself differently. My level of insecurity makes me feel like I have been the most insecure woman on earth. That in and of itself proves how insecure I have been. I would like to say that I no longer struggle with such an issue, but that is not true either. I can say that my insecurity has gotten lots better. Some may think I am exaggerating about my insecurity. They may think, "What do you have to be insecure about? Your husband loves you. You have a nice house. You have to be the most secure woman in the room." Insecurity, it is one of my biggest down falls. Those who are around me much at all know how insecure I am, for I am very vocal. But, if I were not so open about so much in my life and if I did not come right out and say what I was thinking, when I was thinking it, I think, I could put on a pretty good front and fool many into believing that I never struggle with much at all. This is what I think most of us do. However, the truth behind most of it, is that we do struggle with insecurity. We struggle with it so much that we become insecure about being insecure.

1 Samuel 22:1-2, "So David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. Soon his brothers and all his other relatives joined him there. Then others began coming—men who were in trouble or in debt or who were just discontented—until David was the captain of about 400 men." David's mightiest men were men who were on the bottom of life. They were rejected, outcasts who had everything to be insecure about. David, himself, had every reason to be insecure, but his love of God brought him strength and allowed him to see the truth. That truth is- when we have God on our side, we have no reason to be insecure. David inspired these men to achieve beyond their goals and to meet their true potential. David was their inspiration, God was his. So many times these men were outnumbered and from the looks of others, they should have been defeated. 2 Samuel 23, David's mightiest men were found in three and thirty. He had men that were closest to him, who were the greatest warriors in his army. They fought and won great victories. David inspired them to great feats, but the ruler of this great army of men was led by the only One who could give true victory. When David was the most victorious, was when he kept his eyes upon God.

While I still struggle with insecurity, I have found that in this time period in my life, I am the most secure. There was time spent just a few short years ago, that I was so alone. I had no one. Yes, I was married, but I did not love and lean on my husband. I was in a desolate place. It was in this place that I found my strength. I began turning to Christ and allowing Him to give me strength for the first time. Then, as I began growing and allowing Him to give me life, He started to surround me with my mighty men. Only they were my mighty women. My friends are women who have been on the down and outs of life. Women who have been into drugs, adultery, lived life feeling rejected and second best. These women are my mighty women, like David had his mighty men. These women are strong and courageous. They go into battle everyday, but the cool thing is, they know how to arm themselves with shields and weapons that bring them a victory, even when defeat seems to be inevitable. I am not their leader, and they are not mine, but we battle together against the insecurities of this world. Here is the key, we have each had to go through our struggles and places of desolation. We had to go through that time alone, so that we could learn who our true leader was. Our freedom from insecurity is not in our husband, our looks, the money in our hand; It is in Christ our Lord.

If you are in a time of desolation and feeling like you are alone, the only one who... be patient. This time, is a time to overcome. This time is the time to learn Who your true leader is, and Whose you are. Alone time is not always bad. Those feelings of insecurity, the mightiest men have felt them. It is learning how to lean on the right One and how to fight for Him, that is how we become mighty ourselves. A husband will not bring you security, maybe for a moment, but that moment will pass. A child will not bring you security, neither will that friend, or that check. All things on this earth are a temporary security. They will all let you down at some point, and insecurity will start creeping in. It is in keeping our eyes upon our true leader that we can find no insecurity. His eyes will never wander as we get older and our beauty fades. His finances will always be enough to give us bread for this day. His security is the only place that we can never feel insecure. Do we know how to turn to Him as our leader? Are we His mighty men? Are we surrounded by His warriors? Whose mighty men are we as we start each day? Where is your insecurity today? You can overcome this. You just have to learn to follow the right Leader...

Friendship's Wise Counsel

Exodus 18, "When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he asked, 'What are you really accomplishing here? Why are you trying to do all this alone while everyone stands around you from morning till evening?' Moses replied, 'Because the people come to me... This is not good!' Moses’ father-in-law exclaimed. 'You’re going to wear yourself out—and the people, too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself. Now listen to me, and let me give you a word of advice, and may God be with you.'"

I am constantly amazed by God. I am constantly amazed by the friends He has given me. The other day, I had a melt down. Most of the time I openly share with Jason, but this time I knew it had to be one of my girlfriends. This time she was not easy to find and my soul was not quiet until I did. I drove to her house. She was not there. I even went by the hospital, just to check. She was not there. I came home. I left. I went to the river and thought maybe some alone time would help. My answer did not come. I needed this one particular friend. I am very blessed for I have many friends to choose from when I need help, but I had this particular one on my heart for this particular time. Finally, I found her four hours after my search and waiting had begun. Then we spent the next four hours sharing our lives.

The heartache in my soul began the night before, at a lock-in we had for the high school girls. During this lock-in, one of the speakers was a man sharing, "the guys perspective on girls". He talked about the pure girl and the, well lets just call her, the pathetic girl. Everything he said about the pathetic girl, I once was and my heart hurt. It hurt from wounds I gave it twenty years ago! This hurting made me doubt my sharing. So after I shared this with my friend, she shared her life with me. It was in her sharing her wounds and her hurts that God began to speak to me. It was in her foolishness that I was able to see His love and her husband's strength was also revealed. It was in her pain that the strength of God and others could truly be seen.

I do not like to know that I was such a fool. I do not like to admit my stupidity to others. For me, there is no glory in me being a simpleton. But, as my friend was sharing her life with me, I could see a strength that many missed when they saw her foolish ways. I can see her husband rise up and become a true husband like Christ. A true example of the Ephesians 5:25 man. I can see through her pain, the glory of Christ, for only He can be given credit for her healing. It is in learning from my friends that I can see the living God. If she had not been so open with me, I would have missed Him! "Is all you know about God a miscellaneous collection of trivia, or do you have a living relationship with Him? Only with a vital relationship can you pass on to others the excitement of allowing God to guide your life." If I did not surround myself with strong believers, I would miss so much about God. It is through people becoming real with their pain, their failures, their walk that His redemption, grace, love can be seen and felt. I do not know how I could live with my pain, my foolishness, if I did not have Him to cover me and turn my stupidity into wisdom. Thank you to my friends for sharing openly all of your life with me. Thank you for allowing your life to give others wisdom. Thank you for your encouragement and for helping me to become better. Thank you for sharing, so that I can become stronger. Thank you Christ, for coving us...

New Opportunities

"Painful lessons are usually doorways to new opportunities." * Last night we went to a party given to some friends of ours. We were there celebrating with them what God is doing in their lives. They are going to become house parents in Amarillo at the boys ranch there. I have been thinking a lot about what has been going on in their lives and using it to look at my own life. He was a property developer here, and had a very good dream on developing some land that would have allowed them to be set for life. But that was not what God was calling them to do. It is evident now that the pain that they felt when the dream was crushed, was not pain for bad, but pain leading to something even better.

As I have been reading 1 Timothy, I have been looking at it differently. My eyes for the first time have been opened to the writer and not just the one he was writing to. Paul is instructing his younger brother, whom he loves as a son, on how to live a life worthy of God's calling. My friends are being called by God to go and help these young boys. They have already been doing it by running a lunch for the boys here, every Wednesday, teaching and guiding the boys here. God has been training my friends for something even bigger. He took all their financial resources away, through the recent economic downfall, and placed them in training for becoming house parents to many boys.

Genesis 15:5, "Then the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, 'Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!' And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith." Just like Abraham and Sarah, they thought they would never have any children, but instead they became the parents of a nation. My friends also will become the parents of many. Through their faith in God, by taking the next step that God is calling them to take, my friends are going to impact the lives of thousands. What they thought was an economic disaster has turned into the chance of a life time, all because they are willing to listen to God's calling. They took the first step with the lunch. Now they are taking the next step with their lives. What a blessing. What a challenge to me to live the life that He is calling me to live. What an example they are for all of us to live a life we could never dreamed, if we would only listen to the call of God upon our life. It always starts small. Do you want to do the little thing, so that you can reach even more through the enormous things of God?

Oswald Chambers, "If we are born again by the Spirit of God, our devotion to Him is hindered, or even stopped, by continually asking Him to guide us here and there. '...the Lord led me...' and on looking back we see the presence of an amazing design. If we are born of God we will see His guiding hand and give Him the credit. We can all see God in exceptional things, but it requires the growth of spiritual discipline to see God in every detail. Never believe that the so-called random events of life are anything less than God’s appointed order. Be ready to discover His divine designs anywhere and everywhere." Are you allowing God to lead you? Are you taking the next step in faith? They are never steps that you see coming. They are steps that only God can see where you are going. If we will be willing to let go of our dreams and allow God to guide us, our lives will never be waisted.

I want to say thank you to my friends. Thank you for allowing me to see how you have trusted in your God and to see the amazing blessing He is bringing into your lives. You are truly blessed!! "Then the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, 'Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!' And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith." I want to say THANK YOU. We will see you soon :o)

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/11/14/devotion.aspx?year=2009

(*Bible Commentary)

Take Now, Not Later

Oswald Chambers, "God’s command is, "Take now," not later. It is incredible how we debate! We know something is right, but we try to find excuses for not doing it immediately. If we are to climb to the height God reveals, it can never be done later— it must be done now. And the sacrifice must be worked through our will before we actually perform it...God chose the test for Abraham, and Abraham neither delayed nor protested, but steadily obeyed. If you are not living in touch with God, it is easy to blame Him or pass judgment on Him. You must go through the trial before you have any right to pronounce a verdict, because by going through the trial you learn to know God better. God is working in us to reach His highest goals until His purpose and our purpose become one."

If anyone knows the calling of God to change, it is me. How often was the decision placed right in front of me. How often did I turn Him down, only to find heartache in my choices, only because I did not, "Take it now." Every day we have choices placed in front of us. With most of those choices the clear, right answer, we know. It is when we choose to "take it later" that things go wrong. This is a journey that we must partake in on our own, no matter who is around us. This is the personal part. The part that is the most difficult, because during this part, He is calling us as His only child. This is when we run the risk of loosing friends and battling our sinful desires in order to suffer through the boredom. But it does not matter if we do it now when He says, or wait till later, ultimately we must do it. What we have to discover is when is it worth it to us. Do we really have to hit rock bottom before we are finally willing to listen? If so, why? Why do my little boys insist on getting a spanking? Why can't we just open our hearts to the truth, before the beating starts?

Colossians 3:17, "So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. Because of these sins, the anger of God is coming. You used to do these things when your life was still part of this world. But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him...Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom He gives."

We all have choices to make every day. The thing that we have to realize is that His ways are better, if we will suffer through the desires of our own selfish ways. We are selfish by nature, and this is why we hurt others so often. We want what we want and we want it now. But what we must realize is that God is calling us, right now, to change our desires. He is calling us to have a better life. For no matter what our circumstances are, with Him it is better. Do you hear Him calling you to a better existence? Change is hard, but if you can grab hold of it right now, it will make latter even better. "God’s command is, "Take now," not later. It is incredible how we debate! We know something is right, but we try to find excuses for not doing it immediately." Right now, do what you know you must do. Even if it hurts, right now.

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/11/11/devotion.aspx?year=2009

Being a Follower

Galatians 1:3-5, "May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace. Jesus gave his life for our sins, just as God our Father planned, in order to rescue us from this evil world in which we live. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen."

I can very easily cry for the past sins in my life. I can mourn for the life that I led and the choices that I made. I do not live in the past, but if anyone knows the severity of my sin, I do. For, I know how many I hurt along the way. The thing that I grieve the most is the fact that I was weak. I was a follower, and a leader. A good friend of mine explained it very well for me the other day. She said, "You and I have the same personality all that matters is, who you are around. If we are with good, they can point us toward good. If we are around evil, we help them in evil. But, it does not stop there, they will get us headed in that direction, then we take off. We become the leader, we just need help in going the right direction." Everyone who knows me, probably sees this, it is the directing that can be tricky. The thing that I am struggling with at the moment are the tears. I am not so sure that I should cry any longer. And yes while I am writing this, tears are forming, but anyway. I cannot cry for how my life has turned out, for Christ was the leader in that one.

Do you know how much I love my God! I am so in love with Him, because I know there is nothing I can do to earn His favor. Yet, He came and chose me. His salvation is a free gift. His love is never ending, because trust me, I pushed that envelope to the limits, and He never left me. Maybe, I should stop the tears from flowing so easily, I don't know. But they are not really tears of heartache they are tears of thankfulness. I am so grateful for the life that I have today. I am so undeserving of any of it, and I know this. I truly did nothing to earn anything that I have. It was all by His grace and favor that I have any of it. My life is different, because I finally decided to allow Him to point me where I needed to go. I finally decided to let go and trust in His love. Do you know how freeing this is? I am finally free, and the more I see that it was His guiding me, that led me here, the more free I am to enjoy my life.

Galatians 3:5-6, "I ask you again, does God give you the Holy Spirit and work miracles among you because you obey the law? Of course not! It is because you believe the message you heard about Christ. In the same way, 'Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.' The real children of Abraham, then, are those who put their faith in God." I have done nothing to deserve the love of my God. Yet, He died for me and took the curse of the cross upon Himself. If you think that you have to be "good" to believe, then you are missing the point. The actions do follow, but it takes time. What He wants is a repentant heart and a willingness to follow Him, wherever He may lead. Then after you get there, be thankful to Him for loving you, even before you were born.

Oswald Chambers, "Galatians 2:20, 'I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me . . .' These words mean the breaking and collapse of my independence brought about by my own hands, and the surrendering of my life to the supremacy of the Lord Jesus. No one can do this for me, I must do it myself. God may bring me up to this point three hundred and sixty-five times a year, but He cannot push me through it. It means breaking the hard outer layer of my individual independence from God, and the liberating of myself and my nature into oneness with Him; not following my own ideas, but choosing absolute loyalty to Jesus. Once I am at that point, there is no possibility of misunderstanding. Very few of us know anything about loyalty to Christ or understand what He meant when He said, '. . . for My sake' (Matthew 5:11). That is what makes a strong saint."