I feel like I have been approached by a same common theme in many women's lives. I am by no means addressing one certain issue; I am not picking on one person. I am talking about a common belief that is going on in the minds of many. This is the reoccurring theme: "I am leaving my husband, because I cannot take his verbal abuse any longer, and I don't want my children to be raised thinking this is something that they have to let happen to them." This sounds very noble and your "right" as a woman to value yourself. But where are you really guiding your children? How much better are things really, for them? Yes, you may not have to deal with his verbal abuse on a daily bases anymore, but are your children really out of harms way? It seems to me that truly abused women, run. They truly fear for their safety and their children's, and they take them out of the picture. But even then, there are struggles that face them. And lets face it, these situations are rare, and they are on a different level. We cannot use these extreme situations to justify the majority of divorces.
1 Corinthians 7:14, "For the Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not have a godly influence, but now they are set apart for Him." So, you say you are leaving to give your children the right example. Is this scriptural?
I am not pointing fingers. Trust me! I am divorced, but I do not think that God condones divorce. It causes a whole mess of problems. Many times you are just trading one problem for another. I have a good godly life with my husband now, but it does not relieve the guilt of my past. I cannot say that, I stuck it out and look how God was glorified. I can say that He can make anything good, for what the Devil intends for evil, God can turn for good. But this does not give us an excuse to sin. Don't get your feathers ruffled. I am not pointing my finger, you have to work your individual situation out with God Himself, but I am asking that you open your eyes to the truth.
Many say that their children, now live in peace, because of the divorce. Yet, when the other spouse has the children for "their" time with them, who is there to protect the children. Yes, one adult has taken themselves out of the firing range, but they in turn, leave their children totally exposed, unprotected, in the abuser's hands. Please tell me, how is this better? I do not get it. You say that your time with them can repair the damage done, while you are away. How do you repair anything, if you really do not know what is going on? Don't use your children for an excuse to get a divorce. I see this as a lame excuse, to ultimately do as you desire.
Divorce is not an unforgivable sin. I have many heartfelt feelings for those who have a divorce in their past. It just seems to me that people are constantly making excuses to justify their sin. We have to take the blinders off and look at our life with true insight. How does God really see things. Until we are willing to truly look into our own life, we cannot have a truly blessed life with God. I am not saying to undo what has been done, trust me, you cannot, I have tried. What is done is done. I am just asking people to look at life in reality and to stop justifying your own sins. As long as we are justifying our own sin, how are we to show Christ and His grace. For if we are justified; where is Jesus, where is grace?
2 comments:
In agreement with you. We justify our sin to make it okay in our own mind, but that does not justify it with God. What married couples need is a correct biblical view of marriage, and then to focus on their own personal sin they bring to the marriage, and getting their self right with God.
The closer to God I have become, and the more I look at my own sin and work on changing it, the more successful (in God's eyes) it has become.
I stand guilty of trying to justify my sin, but ultimately, I am sinning against God and I am accountable for choices that I make. I must change my sin habits. Change is possible in Christ!
Eph. 4:17 "walk no longer as the Gentiles, but now , you must change"
& 20-27
"But you did not learn Christ in this way,if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus,
that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit,
and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind,
and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.
Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another.
BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
and do not give the devil an opportunity."
It seems that many marriages would heal themselves, if people would just focus on their own relationship with God. Paul could find joy, in Christ, even in prison. Christ's greatest desire is for us to find Him and enjoy our peace, we can find only through Him. It is not about someone else making us happy. It is all about joy in Christ, no matter what circumstance we find our self.
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