Waiting on God

Impatience is my number one enemy, it always has been. I love instant gratification. I like to see the results before the work is completed. As I watch other lives, I become impatient. I want them to be "fixed" now. I work this way with health and spiritual development. Everything takes time and waiting is not my strong suit.

I have a friend who is dying with an awful disease and another who is dealing with drugs and alcohol. I have, with the help of my mother, been led by God to alternative health care. I have Multiple Sclerosis. It hit me hard and fast when I was 20. But my mother, being a RN, new there was not much the Dr's could do for me. She began the search and God guided us to Chinese medicine. Now I am very healthy and I have begun taking a fruit and veggie supplement called Juice Plus+. I am even a distributor I love this stuff so much. I want people to just accept the fact that I have walked down those lonely roads, before them. I have paved the path for their "quick fix." But, it does not work that way. Everyone has to figure it out on their own and this takes time and patience. This is where God is still working on me.

Instead of fixating on how far they still need to go, I need to see how far they have come. Many people can look at me and think, "Why don't you get it, it is right in front of you." But as with everyone, I have to figure it out on my own. I have to walk the road of growth, so that it sticks. Anything that is given to us easily, does not help to make us stronger. That is why so many poor people, who win the lottery, end up poor. Nothing that is worth holding on to comes easily. If drugs were easy to give up, I would be tempted to use them every once in a while. If I hadn't been so badly stricken with MS, I wouldn't have been so convinced when God gave me the tools that actually helped me.

Everyone has to figure out what God wants of them, on their own. I can be here for them to watch and lean upon. I cannot save them, or give them a quick fix. They have to search that one on their own. When they are ready they will finally have their eyes open and they will discover the path to a better life. That is the same with me, when I am spiritually mature enough to handle different things, God will open my eyes and I will finally understand. We cannot focus on the now. We must look at how far we have actually come and strain toward what lies ahead. If I look, just a the now, it seems so far to the prize. We have to look at the whole picture.

My friend with this disease is searching. They eat better and are trying alternative medicine. They still have a long way to go, but look how far they have come. My friend that is dealing with drugs is doing so much better. She no longer is getting high all of the time. She is trying. She still relies on cigarettes, but she is at least trying. Before she just wanted to get high, now she wants to leave that life behind her. I still lose my patience and my anger still surfaces every once in a while. But now, I am getting better with waiting on God and the fire I used to feel, very seldom burns me with anger.

Can we just be stagnant? No, God wants us to continue to strive for better. Stagnant people live in their sin, in their weakness. People who love God and want to know him are moving forward. The question is not do you know God in your head, but do you want to know him with your heart? If you are stagnant, that is when you should fear. If you are moving then God is moving in you. I am so thankful that God can see the whole picture. I am glad that he is the creator of patience. If it were up to me, I would have been dead in my sin long ago. I would have sent myself to the abyss. It is not up to me. Thank God, it is not up to me. He is the one at work in peoples lives, I am just a tool. My job is to wait on God and let him do the work. The only thing that he has asked of me, is to love. I am hear to love all of his people, not fix them.......