By Faith

Hebrews 11:1-2, "What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see. God gave His approval to people in days of old because of their faith."
Many examples are given in this chapter of people who are living by faith. Many people who followed God were mighty warriors, men who were blessed tremendously. "By faith these people over threw kingdoms, ruled with justice, and received what God had promised them. They shut the mouths of lions, quenched the flames of fire, and escaped death by the edge of the sword. Their weakness was turned to strength. They became strong in battle and put whole armies to flight. Women received their loved ones back again from death." (Heb 11:32-35) These people were made great, because of their faith. God told them to obey Him and in their faith they stepped out and did mighty things. They were never guaranteed victory, but because God told them to "do" something, they did it. It was by their faith that they obeyed God. In our faith we work for Him; we obey Him.

"But others trusted God and were tortured, preferring to die rather than turn from God and be free. They placed their hope in the resurrection to a better life. Some were mocked, and their backs were cut open with whips. Others were chained in dungeons. Some died by stoning, and some were sawed in half; others were killed with the sword..." (Heb 11:35ff) In this case some may ask God, "why?" I believed You; I stepped out in faith and did what you asked and yet I suffered. We do not obey our Lord to get rewarded. We obey Him because we have faith in Him. In our victories and in our defeats, He is glorified. Our position is to obey Him, so that He is glorified.

Stephen was a mighty man of faith, wisdom, grace and power, yet he died a horrible death. He stepped out in faith and he spoke the words that sentenced him to death. But his reward was not of this world. "But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, gazed steadily upward into heaven and saw the glory of God, and he saw Jesus standing in the place of honor at God's right hand. And he told them, "Look, I see the heavens opened and the Son of Man standing in the place of honor at God's right hand!"...they stoned him." (Acts 7:55ff)

We are not supposed to have faith so that we can have things here. We are to have faith so that God is glorified and in return we will receive eternal salvation. We all have different seasons in our faith walk. There are those seasons when we step out in faith and we are elated because of our triumphs. Then there are other times when we walk in faith and we are persecuted because of our faith. I think that God gives us victories to strengthen our faith and He allows us to suffer to test our faith. Are we following Him to get something? Or are we following Him because we love Him? Are we doing His work to make us feel good? Are we helping others for our benefit? Are we working for Him because we can get something from Him; or are we living by faith, because we love Him?

Today, Everyday

Hebrews 3:7-15, "Today you must listen to His voice. Don't harden your hearts against Him as Israel did when they rebelled, when they tested God's patience in the wilderness. There your ancestors tried My patience, even though they saw my miracles for forty years. So I was angry with them, and I said, 'There hearts always turn away from me. They refuse to do what I tell them.' So in my anger I made a vow; 'They will never enter My place of rest.'"
Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters. Make sure that your own hearts are not evil and unbelieving, turning you away from the living God. You must warn each other every day, as long as it is called "today," so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God. For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ. But never forget the warning: "Today you must listen to His voice. Don't harden your hearts against Him."

I have heard the idea of: Once you have accepted Christ, you can never fall away from Him. On one respect, I do believe this. He will never leave me nor will He ever forsake me. I know this. It is not because of my good deeds that I am saved; It is because He loved me and died for me. But why would there be a warning, if you could not fall from Him? The warning is not about Him leaving me, it is about me leaving Him. "Our hearts turn away from the living God when we stubbornly refuse to believe Him. If we persist in our unbelief, God will eventually leave us in our sin."

Every day we have a choice, we can follow Him or we can do things our way. I knew God. I knew what He wanted me to do, but I refused to listen to Him. Every day, I made a conscious effort in disobeying Him. Every day, I would feel Him leave me to my sin. It was my decision and every day I refused to listen to Him. Every day was new and He would try again, every day. But it was always my decision, to accept Him or refuse Him.

I do not know what would have happened to me, if I had stayed in "that" place. I was still hearing His voice tenderly calling to me. I never felt Him give up on me, but I had to make a choice. There came a time in my life when I truly felt Him urgently calling me. It was like He was saying, "This is it dear child, if you refuse me this time, you may never listen to me again." It was an urgency that I had never felt before. It was me! My heart was at the point of no return. I had gone so far that if I refused Him again, in my stubbornness, I would not have listened to Him any more. I would have hardened my heart against Him. I am not saying that I could have never been redeemed, but I am saying, that I had to come to a point and make a choice. I had to set my pride aside and confess my sins, so that I could be set free. He did the rest. Right after I confessed, for that moment, I was not given any choices. I could not make the right decision and He knew it. It was all done for me. My life was drastically changed and none of it was my doing. I just had to let go of everything and take the next step that I was told to take.

I am not the judge of anyone, including myself. I am so thankful for that. I would have given up on me, long ago, but He did not. However, I tremble to think about what would have happened to me if I had stubbornly refused Him, that day. Every day I must still make a choice. I can become complacent in my faith and in turn become weak once more; or I can strengthen myself by spending time with Him, in His word. It is very easy to be deceived and to think that you are okay. One day you are doing very good. Then, it seems the next day, you are falling for the lies of Satan and your heart is becoming hard. It is a daily commitment. Every day, you must make a choice. I choose to rest with Him. He is my strength and He fights the battle for me, but I have to make that choice, every day.

Hebrews 4, "God's promise of entering his place of rest still stands, so we ought to tremble with fear that some of you might fail to get there... For only we who believe can enter His place of rest. As for those who didn't believe, God said, "In my anger I made a vow: They will never enter my place of rest,' "Today you must listen to His voice, Don't harden your hearts against Him." ...Let us do our best to enter that place of rest. For anyone who disobeys God, as the people of Israel did, will fall. For the word of God is full of living power. It exposes us for what we really are. Nothing in all creation can hide from Him. Everything is naked and exposed before His eyes. This is the God to whom we must explain all that we have done...So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it."

I truly do not know what would have happened to me, if I had continued in my stubbornness that day. Would have I died, drowning in my own sin? I do not know. All that I do know is my life was an awful mess. I was dying. Everything about me was dying. In His mercy He helped me when I needed it the most. He saved me, but I had to choose to let Him take control. Then I had to make the conscious effort to strengthen myself with Him. I became determined to never be misled again. I made a commitment to Him and I strengthen myself with Him everyday. I still make mistakes, but there is a difference in stubbornly refusing to obey Him; or trying your best and making mistakes. I never again want to enter the battle alone: I want Him to fight the fight for me. I never again want to question my salvation: I rest in the knowledge that He has fought the fight for me and won the battle. He is my saviour and I love Him. I know I love Him, because I obey Him. I do not have to question my love for Him; in return, I rest with Him.

Called to a Higher Standard

Titus 1:12, "The people of Crete are all liars; they are cruel animals and lazy gluttons." These are the people that Paul is calling to a higher purpose. He is calling on Titus to "rebuke them sternly, so that they will become strong in their faith". When I started reading the mega themes in the beginning of Titus, this is what they said, "Paul calls for church order and right living on an island known for laziness, gluttony, lying, and evil. The Christians are to be self disciplined as individuals, and they must be orderly as people who form one body, the church. We need to obey this message in our day when discipline is not respected or rewarded by our society...Our service won't save us, but we are saved to serve. As Christian's, we must have commitment and discipline to serve...Qualities needed for leadership: Their conduct in their homes revealed their fitness for service in the church..You must have self-control, spiritual and moral fitness, and Christian character. Right living and right relationships go along with right doctrine. Christians must be good citizens in society, not just in church."

Do you stand out in your ethics? Do people see you and know that there is something different about you? You can very easily take away the name of Crete and place any town's name in its place. I have heard this very same description about the people who live right here. How many times has there been a complaint made about "not being able to find a job." Yet, how many times do you hear a carpenter say that he cannot find anyone to show up at his job site; he would employ anyone, if they would just show up. "The people are liars, cruel animals, and lazy gluttons." You can very easily say this today, nothing has really changed. We are called to a higher standard. We are Christ followers; He was none of these things. We are to be an example to others. We should be different. Are we? We are supposed to have a new life in Christ. Do we?

Titus 2, "The older men are to exercise self-control, to be worthy of respect, and to live wisely. They must have strong faith and be filled with love and patience...The older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to take care of their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husband...We are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasure. We should live in this evil world with self-control, right conduct, and devotion to God."

I have been more saddened by how "Christians" are living their lives. Many older men are not exercising self-control; they are not worthy of respect; they do not live wisely. Most older women are not training the younger women to love their husbands and their children. If anything the younger women have been taught to disrespect their husbands and to think of themselves, before their families. Our people have bought the lies, "if it feels good, then do it; If you don't want to then, you don't have too."

What is going on!! Do you act any different than anyone else? When you are in the store; are you complaining right alone with the other customers, or are you offering your encouragement to the cashier? Are you honoring your word? Are you showing up and doing your best on the job? Can your boss count on you? We have to constantly be asking ourselves these kind of questions. We are not perfect, no one is; but are we different? If you are older, are you stepping up and helping the younger generation. Younger men and women: are you being a good example by doing good deeds of every kind. Do you have integrity? Do you stand out in your crowd?

I am constantly checking my behavior, I have too. I have lived with a contaminated reputation. I know what it feels like to have a ruined name. When we are professing to be Christians, but living as the world; it is not our reputation at sake; it is not our name we are abusing, it is His. If we are tarnishing His reputation, then how are others going to be saved. No one will listen to someone with a failed reputation. Our mission is to help others find salvation. How are we going to do that, if we cannot conduct ourselves respectfully?

Titus 3:3-8, "Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were mislead by others and became slaves to many wicked desires and evil pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy. We hated others, and they hated us.
But then God our Savior showed us His kindness and love. He saved us, not because of the good things we did, but because of His mercy. He washed away our sins and gave us a new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us because of what Jesus Christ our Savior did. He declared us not guilty because of His great kindness..I want you to listen so that everyone who trusts in God will be careful to do good deeds all the time. These things are good and beneficial for everyone."

Saved Through Childbearing

1 Timothy 2:15, "But women will be saved through childbearing and by continuing to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty." The term "saved through childbearing" used to confuse me. I did not understand how having children could save me. Now I have a glimpse of this. My children are still very young and I know that I have a long way to go, but I have already learned so much about myself, since I have had children. I have discovered just how far I still need to go in becoming more like Christ. I have learned about my patience and how little I really have. I have discovered how much I think about me and what I want. I have learned about love and how to trust. I can see how important it is to serve and have a servant like attitude. I have also learned about submission and what it brings to my life.

When my first son was about 6 months old, I still had a very hateful attitude towards men. One day my husband and I were talking in the front seat and our son was in the back; I was going off on how "pathetic" men were and my husband said, "What you say about men, pointing to the back seat, he is going to turn out to be." My worst fear was staring right into my heart, and right there, my heart broke. I had so much animosity and disgust towards men that every word I said, was awful about them. My wise and gentile husband opened my eyes, through my son. Through "childbearing you will be saved." I had to change. I had to see the hate in my heart, before I destroyed my own young man. He was not just my baby, my little boy; he was a man and what kind of man was I going to turn him into? My first step was to change what was coming out of my mouth, then my heart followed. My attitude was checked and my heart was revealed.

Patience is a virtue that I cannot boast about. I fail in this every day. My children take the brunt of my inadequacy. How quickly I can snap at them. How I have learned the failure of my part in this. God has shown me more patience than I could ever deserve, and yet I can have so little when dealing with my children. I am the first impression that they will have of Christ. I know this because when you talk to grown people you can understand how their parents raised them by talking to them about God. If they see God as a strict disciplinarian, then you can assume that their parents were strict. If they see God as loving and kind then you can assume that their parents were loving and kind. I have to constantly ask myself how my children saw me that day. Was I loving in disciplining them, or was I harsh and strict? Did I lose my cool and threaten them, or was I calm and controlled? I am constantly checking myself. How are my children seeing me? How are they going to see God?

"You will be saved through childbearing." I have found out so much about myself through how I treat my children and what I say around them. Do I dress modestly around them. They will be attracted to the same kind of woman that I display. Do I want them to be attracted to women who flaunt their figure and dress inappropriately, or do I want them to see the woman's heart. If I had little girls, would I want them to act and dress as I do? Your children will grow up by watching you, it does not matter what you say. What matters is how you act! What are my boys seeing in me? I want them to be mighty warriors, men of integrity, gentile and strong. What am I teaching them? What does this say about me and where my love for my God really is? If you will open your eyes and watch what your children are seeing in you, "you will be saved through childbearing." Your eyes will be opened to what your heart is really saying. As a mother my heart has had to change. Everything about me is selfish, but having children has made me have to think of others first. I cannot go about my day with, just me on my mind. I have had to watch how I conduct myself not only in public, but in private, because with children you are really never alone. I have had to develop a relationship with Christ, not only to help me get through the day myself, but to teach my children to love Him as well. God gave me my boys at just the right time, so that I could be saved!

Patient Love

1 Timothy 1:15-17, "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--and I was the worst of them all. But that is why God had mercy on me, so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of His great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in Him and receive eternal life. Glory and honor to God forever and ever. He is the eternal King, the unseen one who never dies; he alone is God."

I cannot tell you all of the awful things that I have done. I will not give you any detail on my past life. If you have ever been in a strip club, then you know. If you have ever been a druggie, then you know. If you have ever stolen anything, then you know. If you have ever been divorced, then you know. I do not have to give descriptions, you can use your imagination. I was the worst of sinners! I did it all, fill in the blank, I am sure that I have done it. Yet Christ came for me, in the midst of my sinning. He came for me, when I was at my worst. He saved me when...He did not condemn me and send me to hell. He spoke softly to me. No one else could hear Him speaking. No one else could see me listening, but I was.

In order to change the way I was living I had to remove myself from anyone who did "those things". God took away every friend that I had. I had to let Him become my friend. "Become friends with God; He's already a friend with you," 2 Corinthians 5:20b, Msg. During this I was surrounded by good strong Christ followers. Now I am strong, I can be that friend to someone in that situation. Here is the key; I do not struggle with "that" anymore. But I will not let myself to be around someone who I feel will bring me down. For instance: If I struggled with gossip (which, I do not think I do anymore) I would not hang out with someone who did gossip. I have surrounded myself with very strong people for so long, that I am able to be a better friend for others. Now I have been opening my door more readily for people who, say, struggle with drugs. I am not scared that I will fall back into that temptation, but I can relate with them. I have a common ground that I can fall back on. No one needs to fear judgment from me, because I can relate with them.

The hardest thing, in seeing someone struggle with sin, is patience. God has shown me more love and patience than I deserved. He was with me, while I was driving to the club. He was with me, as I entered into the dealers house. He was patient with me. But he was calling me the whole time. I, on the other hand, have to remind myself constantly about how patient He was with me and not condemn others in their time of "patience". God is constantly reminding me where I come from, not to condemn me, but to help me show His love. If He can show me so much patience, then what is a little patience expressed by me. I was much worse than most anyone I know, but He loved me right in the big thick of it all.

It was because of God's undying love for me that I decided to follow Him. I could hear him whispering to my heart and I wanted more than anything, to be loved. He loved me, so in return I loved Him. He loved me first, so the only thing that I could do was to love Him back. I wanted to please Him with my life, so I changed my behavior, because He loved me. I could see His love through the people that He placed in my life. I could feel His pure touch, because His followers were representing that touch. Now that I am much better (I will never have it perfect, but I am much better) it is my turn. I am to be the person who shows His undying love. I have to remind myself; it took so much patience for me. It is my turn to show that patience. Am I? I am not perfect, but I am called to love. It was through His followers that I was able to hear Him. He was there first, then He sent His followers to help me. It is my turn to show that love. Am I? Where are you in all of this? Are you needing that patient love, or is it your turn to give it?

Open House

What does it mean to open your home to others? I think, it means that you share your life with them. It means that you hold nothing back. They get to know you for your good traits and for your not so good traits. Opening your home up to others can cause you to have more work. It can help you become inventive on the food that you prepare, so that your grocery bill does not get too outrageous. It will cause you to become a better person and it will give you a life full of families, that you would have never known if you hadn't offered your home to others.

Yesterday, we had our first small group study "Better together" with our church. We had a house full of people. We have tried to arrange our home, for having people in our home. We didn't have to worry about the stuff in our home being broken by all of the children, because all of our things are rustic and look better a little worn anyway. Our lamps are metal so they won't break. We just don't worry to much about our things getting hurt. One of the moms was expressing her concern about her young son spilling food on the floor and I just told her not to worry about it. I was not concerned about the floor getting dirty because I new it was going to be, so I didn't clean it before they got here. I had planned on cleaning after they left. My house was picked up when they arrived, but I saved the cleaning for later. I have learned that it is better to wait on the cleaning till after my guests have gone, otherwise it is too much work for me. The rewards are going to be great as we learn from one another and share our lives together. The growing together as we talk and eat is going to far out weigh the work in cleaning.

We have a young college student in our group and he discovered that our house is perfect for watching the game or if he would like to bring a date over. I love the younger people to feel they have a place to go, while they are away from home. We have opened our home for several college people and now I think we have found our new one. He is more than welcome to come in to our house when ever he desires. I will feed him and my husband and I will share our lives with him. We love this part. We do not think that we have all of the answers to life, but we can offer our lives to helping others see what happens if you do or do not do something. I have done everything this world can offer. I can share what has happened to me. My husband chose a completely different path than I did and he can offer what happened to him. Together we can offer both sides of the coin, so to speak.

While we were having our study the children that live across the street kept coming over needing something. Someone asked us if they were over a lot and we answered that they were. They are about the same age as my children and they come over to play. While my husband is at work the kids come in and out of the house all day. I try and offer our home to them and give them an atmosphere that I think they can feel comfortable in. If I do nothing else while I am living in this neighborhood, I can offer my home to children and share my Father with them. This could be the only glimpse of Christ that many children are able to get. When they get older, I want them to remember, "this nice lady who took us in and taught us who Jesus was." Then, when my husband gets home, they go home. It works well for us, my husband has a home that is quiet after a long day of work, the children have been playing hard, and Jesus is being shared.

We do not have any blinds on the living room windows for a reason. We want our house to be open for all. We want our home to be where others feel they are welcome. This was a thought out plan on our part. We spent some time with the idea of placing blinds on our windows and we decided that it was better to live in a glass house. We have nothing to hide. We will share our faults and our accomplishments. It obviously takes more work to open your home to others, but the rewards are there to help me with the work. We are able to look at others who have been in our home and we can see where we helped them, at just the right time for them. God has given us people over the years that have come and shared their lives with us at just the right time for us and for them. No one has ever left with a negative feeling. Now there have been the lessons of "I don't want to do that," but it is a lesson that may have not been learned had we not opened and shared our lives.

Loving Extremes

I have noticed several extremes to love. Some people love only their family. Others do only for others, and leave their family out. Still others love only themselves and no one else. And finally their are those who love no one at all. None of these are the correct way to love. Any time you live in extremes, you are wrong. I know I come from a life full of extremes. If I was ever going to do something, it was going to be all or nothing. Even when I started writing in the mornings, I had to control myself. I was wanting to get up every morning and write. Well, if that is all that you are thinking about then the whole reason for doing it is lost. I had to control my extreme nature and monitor myself. If anyone were ever under constant scrutiny, it would be me watching myself. I have to, I love living to the extreme, in what ever I am doing. Just like with the sugar thing. I did not have sugar in my home, so when I would go out I would have double servings of it. Or if I was going to have some ice cream, I wouldn't just have a serving, I would have a mound. This is extreme. I notice extremes in myself and others.

Some people feel if any time taken from family and spent with others it is wrong. They will only do things with their family. For example, I have seen women that will not do anything with anyone at any time, if it is going to interfere with their "husband" time. They will go out during the day, but they will not even take one night in several months to meet with other women and leave the children with their daddy. This is extreme. (It is probably the best of extremes, but still an extreme.) It is a healthy family that can function even when the normal routine is interrupted. It is good for the children and for the father to have that bonding time. It is good to let him feed them dinner and get them ready for bed, every once in a while. The mother is not alone in the parenting and the husband is perfectly capable of taking care of his children. It is healthy to get away from family every once in a while.

The opposite to doing everything with or for your family is only doing for others. This is also an extreme. I have seen people who do very little for their immediate family and are consumed only with others. They are so consumed with how others are doing that they forget about their family. This causes some very bitter and resentful feelings from their spouses and their children. Their spouse feels unwanted and unimportant. Their children feel as though they were a disappointment and feel like failures. This person is usually looked upon very well in the community and people call on them when they need anything. When this person is called upon, they will go out of their way for others. But when their family calls upon them for anything it becomes a burden and this person rarely wants to volunteer for that. I don't know if in this situation the person has attempted to leave a situation they feel inadequate with, so they immerse their lives with others to escape. Or if they feel their family is taken care of so they cannot lose time in worrying about them. In this situation the person involved has lost sight of their priorities. They have forgotten that no matter what, family comes first.

Another extreme is the person who only thinks about themselves. This person is so consumed with what is happening in their day, that they cannot have a conversation unless it is dealing with them. This extreme living encompasses both self love and self hate. Some people love only themselves and so their world centers around how they are feeling that day. Others hate themselves so much that they cannot love anyone. Either way, they are self involved. The selfish person is looked at the worst, by others. Other people look at this person and feel contempt for that person. Others involved with this person do not want to hear again, "how bad they feel, or what they were doing that day." No matter how giving a person is, the selfish person will drain the giving person till they have nothing left to give. In return the selfish person feel like no one wants to hear about their day, well because no one does. Others get burned out on selfishness to the point of not even wanting to be around the selfish person. And in return, the selfish cycle continues. The selfish person becomes even more self involved as the time draws on and becomes a burden to everyone. Whether that person has family or not.

Here is the point: John 13:35, "Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." What are you proving every day? Who are you leaving out of your day? Are you so self involved that you feel no one cares as much about "you" as you do? Are you so concerned about your own family that you cannot spend time with anyone else, if your family is not part of it? Are you so concerned about others that your family feels they "play second fiddle." How much love do you have and are you living a balanced life, in that love? If someone is left out, then there is probably an extreme in your love life. Look at yourself with eyes of truth. Look at your life and judge yourself. Listen to what others are saying about and to you. Live in balance with your love life, so that others can see the love of Christ through you. He did not leave anyone out, He loved perfectly. Every night we need to look back on the day and know that we did the best we could, at loving that day. If you need to, determine to do better in the future. Look around you and see those who need your love that day. Whether it is your spouse, your children, your Christian family or others you come in contact with. Prioritize your loved ones and live in balance with them. The only extreme that is good, is the extreme love for God. If you love Him with extreme love, then you will love others as they need to be loved. (1 John 4:20), "People who don't love other believers, whom they have seen, can't love God, whom they have not seen." (Hebrews 6:11), So, "we are anxious that you keep right on loving others as long as life lasts, so that you will get your full reward."

To Love

Jesus gave two commands, Matthew 22:37-38, "You must love the Lord your God with all of your heart and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: love your neighbor as yourself." Do you love Jesus? Do you love others? These are two questions that seem easy to answer. The first question, do you love Jesus, I would say that most "Christians" would answer yes to, before thinking about it. But how do we show that we love Jesus? John 14:15ff, Jesus says, 'If you love me, obey my commandments...Those who obey my commandments are the ones who love me...All those who love me will do what I say...Anyone who doesn't love me will not do what I say." So do you love Jesus? Do you obey Him? The second part of that command is to love others, this shows that you love Him. The one thing that Jesus required was for you to overflow with love. He was love and He lives in us. So if He is in us then how can we be without love?

Here is an example: Wal-mart has been going through some major remodeling, how many of us have gone through there and acted awful, just because we could not find something right away? If you were one of the people giving the workers a hard time, were you showing love? Or were you telling them that, "it was going to be okay and that they were doing a good job." We can very easily test our love by how we treat the people that wait on us. When you are in a restaurant, do you treat your server good and do they leave your table with a smile, or do they leave frantic and disappointed, feeling like it was their fault you were so unhappy? Every one has a bad day and doesn't get it "right" all of the time, but what is your "most of the time?" When you treat your family member unfairly, do you say that you were wrong and ask for forgiveness, even if it is your 4yr old? These are just a few examples that can very easily test your love level. How did you answer them?

If you love the Lord your God, then you will have a changed life. You do not have to work for your salvation, but there will be a sign that you are changing, because you love Him, because He loved you first. Every time we as Christ followers, walk into a store or sit at a table to eat, the people helping us should love to see us. We should help there day go better and they should want to be around us. Do they? When I was waiting tables, in my younger days, I hated to wait on the Sunday lunch crowd. They had the shortest patients, and the tightest wallets. It should have been the other way around, but it wasn't. What are you saying to the world around you? Do you say, "I love you." Or do you say, "serve me, I am better." What do you way to your family? Do you say, "I love you, let me help you." Or do you say, "I need, I want, I feel...or someone else is more important than you." What do you say to God?

You do not have to be perfect, but He is asking you to at least try. He is commanding you to love. Sometimes it takes learning how to love yourself first. "Love your neighbor as you love yourself", if you do not love your self you cannot love others. This means that you have to forgive yourself for all of the foolish things you have done. But here is a catch, you learn to do this, by getting your mind off of yourself and turning your attention to others. You cannot love yourself, if all you think about is yourself. You can learn to love yourself, if you learn to love others. Isn't that ironic! There was a time, not so long ago, that I was so full of hate that I could not love myself or anyone. In order to start forgiving myself, I had to turn my attention away from myself. I had to start putting others first. It started with my children. Then it was my husband, sorry I had that backwards. Then it went to others and soon I had forgiven myself and I no longer had that hate, filling my every thought. I had to work very hard at loving those who never even did anything to hurt me, much less those who had. I had hurt myself worse than anyone else had hurt me. You show God you love Him by obeying Him. He wants you more than anything else to love. This means love God, love others and love yourself, because He paid a great price for that love. It is the least we can do for Him. Love...

Inner Joy

Philippians, the book of joy. There is a big difference in having joy and being happy. Days in the mountains, goofing around with no responsibilities makes me happy. Hanging out with friends, talking and basically doing what I want to do, makes me happy. I can be happy when the days are going my way. But joy, now that is different. Joy is only felt when that inner peace comes over you. That calm assurance that you will be taken care of, no matter how your day flows. "In contrast to happiness stands joy. Running deeper and stronger, joy is the quiet, confident assurance of God's love and work in our life-that He will be there no matter what! Happiness depends on happening, but joy depends on Christ." I find that doing what Christ wants me to do gives me joy. It does not matter what I am doing, but in doing His work, I find joy. I can be cleaning the house, or picking up doggie doo, and I am perfectly content because Christ is in my heart. I am satisfied. "The secret of this joy is grounded in our relationship with Christ."

I remember looking at people who had that joy and thinking that they were crazy. I did not understand how they could be so "goofy" all of the time. They ran around like they were children, with tons of energy. Watching them made me tired. More than anything I wanted to bring them back to reality and show them that this was life and it stinks. I mean I had fun, but that fun was in what I was doing. The every day life was not fun and I felt sorry for how deluded they were. They were not living in reality. But another part of me was very jealous, for what they had. I would sit inside my home and watch them as they played outside. I would sit there and wish that I had a different life. It seemed so far from my reality. I could not fathom ever feeling that way.

If you do not have Christ, you cannot have joy. You can only be happy for a moment, then it is gone. But joy can be with you always. That is what Christ feels like living in your heart- Joy. I have that now. I can find peace no matter what I am going through, but I have to turn to Him and ask Him to give me that peace, that joy. When I loose it now, when I let my anger flow, I quickly hear Him talking to me. Letting me know that I am not letting Him work. I have to consistently turn my life, my emotions over to Him, so that He can change my expectations. Not that I do not have high standards, but my joy does not come from my experiences. It comes from the inside of me, where Christ lives. I cannot explain it any better. I can only say that He has changed me from the inside. As long as I am looking to Him for that joy, then I do not loose my cool. As long as I am looking to Him I do not have to worry about much of anything.

Situations happen every day that we did not want to deal with that day. It is never fun to have a flat tire. It is never good when your child has a problem with potty training and now his clothes are covered in "it". It is never good timing when at the end of the day, and all you want to do is relax and the telephone rings and you have to go and take care of something at the office, once again. But in what ever your circumstances are, if Christ is truly living in you, then you can find the peace, that joy that only He can give you, in those situations. Can you feel Him? Do you have that joy? Are you letting Him work, or are you taking care of the situation and letting your emotions ruin your day? I have to ask myself these questions every time I feel myself getting out of control. Then I realize that I am not in control anyway and I feel that inner joy taking control. I have to make myself feel miserable, if I am to stay miserable, because I hear Him talking. I just have to decide who I want to listen to, me or Him.

God Speaks

I love waking up early with my Lord. A few years ago, I was struggling in the morning. I was waking up very early in the morning and unable to go back to sleep. I would lay there tossing and turning until my very young children would wake. It was awful...I was nursing still and getting up during the night with my youngest son. I would get so upset when I could not sleep. Little did I know, but God was needing me to spend some alone time with Him. I shared my delima with one of my friends and she was God speaking right to me. She said, "Maybe you are needing some alone time with God, maybe He wants you to spend that time in the morning with Him." I looked at her like she was crazy! I was so tired. I had MS, I was always on call with my two young boys, I was still nursing (lets face it, that alone makes you tired). I needed my sleep. Well, a few more days of struggling and wrestling in bed and I finally gave up. I got up very angrily and began my mornings with God. I never said that I did things willingly. I was upset!!

Well, now it is several years latter and I look forward to visiting with my Lord, early in the morning. I need this time. I yearn for these few precious moments with my Savior. I get up get my coffee (have to have that), and begin my day with the only one who can help me get through that day. I don't have a set arrangement with Him, there is no formula. Some mornings I spend the majority of the time on my knees, thanking Him and asking Him to control my tongue, well begging Him to control my mouth, and basically just asking Him to make me a better mother, wife and friend. Other mornings I go straight for my beloved book and read what He has for me that day. It is amazing how each time I read it I can find something that I have not noticed before. It is truly the living word. It is also amazing how He can take me off of my normal reading path to something particular that I needed for that day. Or we can stay right on to the next chapter or book and it is perfect for what I need. It truly is amazing. I am so grateful for Him. I did not need as much sleep as I thought. He gives me the energy that I need to make it through that day. He makes my body well. He heals my soul!

I try very hard to listen when God is speaking to me, through other believers. The other day I was complaining to a friend about the price of bread. Her answer, "Do you have a bread machine? You can make it yourself." I was put in my place, very fast. Yes, I had a bread machine. I got it for a wedding present, but I had never used it. I did not want to use it! Now I am making my own bread. Next, He sends me another friend. She offers, "My mom has been here and we are canning Olatha corn for the winter. You can spend about $20 and have enough corn for all winter." Well isn't that just great! So now, she is coming over toady and we are going to can corn. For crying out loud! Here's the truth. I had been praying for God to show me how I can help my husband with finances. I have been praying for prosperity and what did He do? He gave me a house to clean!! Oh, and just the other day, I got this goofy shoppers survey in the mail. So what am I going to have to do? I have to fill that thing out so I can clip coupons.

Here is the point. God has answered my prayers from conversations with other people. My life is full because I have a good group of friends that He speaks through. They never could of guessed that they were actually answering my prayers. But God speaks to us in different ways. Sometimes is in during our prayer time. The answers just come. Some times it is in reading His word. Other times it is by the voice of His church, His people. How many of our prayers are not answered because we are leaving some sort of Him out? If we do not listen to His people, if we do not get on our knees, if we do not read His word, we are leaving part of His communication out. In the bottom part of my bible there are helpers with the passage. Things to help explain each topic. In Ephesians 4:15,16 the commentary reads, "How can we grow up in Christ? The answer is that Christ forms us into a body-into a group of individuals who are united in their purpose and in their love for one another and for the Lord. If an individual stumbles, the rest pick that person up and help him or her walk with God again. If a person sins, he or she can find restoration through the church (Gal 6:1) even as the rest of the body continues to witness to God's truth." It is by Him that my prayers were answered. Do you leave out any part of Him? How are your prayers answered? Are you willing to listen to His answers, no matter how they come to you?

A Free Gift

I am reading this morning from Ephesians 2, "Once you were dead, doomed forever because of your many sins. You used to live just like the rest of the world, full of sin, obeying Satan, the mighty prince of the power of the air. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. All of us used to live that way, following the passions and desires of our evil nature...but God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so very much, that even while we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God's special favor that you have been saved!)...God saved you by his special favor when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do good things he planned for us long ago."

I get so many things out of this. I was once dead, I lived for the accuser who said "I was not worth anything other than..." but by His special favor He rescued me. I was at one time a very hateful young woman. I was full of every kind of evil, but it was while I was still in that, God showed His favor upon me and saved my soul. I did not just wake up one day and save myself and turn all of my hate around into love. No while I was still full of all kinds of evil, He saved me! I did not deserve it. I only had to accept the gift that He offered me.

My Grandmother was a woman full of love for others. She had gone through so much in this life, abuse from her father, 43 different surgeries, cancer three different times, etc...But in spite of all of her hurt in her body her love poured out of her. I think in order to over come her many physical challenges, and keep her independence, she had a very hard time accepting any help or gifts from anyone. When someone would bring her a gift she would always offer to pay for it. She would almost insist until the person would explain that they wanted her to have it "free." Then she would graciously and humbly take the gift with only a "thank you."

This is how many of us try to handle God's free gift of salvation. He knows we have done nothing to deserve His love. He knows we are a sinful people. He knew I was so full of hate and all kinds of evil and He loved me during those times. All that I had to do was to accept His free gift and say "Thank You." Of all the people I know, I am the least deserving of the gifts that my Father has given me. What I deserve is to live in misery and then to burn forever with my sins, but He offered me a way out. Christ saved me! He took all of my sins, and they are many, and paid for them. So that I would have a "free" gift. I cannot pay for this wonderful gift, for how do you pay for a gift? That is the whole point of receiving a gift. I could have turned it away. I could have rejected His gift and refused to take it. How foolish that would have been.

I now try to live my life to please Him. I work for Him with the best of my ability, but this is not a payment for what He has done for me. I could never repay Him for what He has freely given me. I live for Him because, I am in love with Him. I am in love with Him, because He loved me in spite of..."I love You, Lord. Thank You for loving me, even though I have been so unlovable. Thank You for changing my heart. Thank You for accepting me when I was so ugly. I can never repay You for saving me. But I can love You. I love You, my Savior, my Friend."

Share with One Another

2 Corinthians 6:1-5
"Dear brothers and sisters, if another Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other's troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone in need, you are only fooling yourself. You are really a nobody.
Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfaction of having done your work well, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct."

There is so much said in this short passage. Do you see that? We are to get into each others lives so that we can help one another. Each member in the body can help at different times. Each one of us has overcome some sin in our life. We help by humbly and gently helping the one who needs help at that moment. This does not mean that you who are helping are more wise, it means that at this moment, you are the strong one. If we do not get into a relationship with our fellow Christians, how are we going to know who can help and at what time. One day you may be the one in need. If you do not know who has gone through that struggle and overcome it, then who are you going to be able to turn to. This is why I share so openly, my struggles. Someone on the outside, can very easily look at my life now and think that I have never been through anything. My life now is very different from the person I used to be, but I try very hard to connect with everyone. So I talk about everything! This does not mean that I beat myself up over my past sins, but that I want to offer my life for His people in need.

It would be very easy to hide behind my life now and pretend that I never did anything "wrong." It is not easy stepping out and admitting your mistakes. The fear of judgement and the fear of what could happen are very hard to over come. I have never had anything, but good, come from sharing my life with others. Those secrets that you think you are keeping, are actually a weight that will never get any lighter. They will only get heavier every time you hear of that "secret," in another person. But if you share, if you open up your life, then you can turn that "mistake" into something wonderful for God. He will open your life so that others can heal. One of the hardest things, when you are struggling with something, is to think that you are all alone, or that you can never let anyone find out. Open up to others, let them know your triumphs, so that when they are struggling they know they can come to you. It helps when there is no fear of judgement. When you know that person has struggled with the same thing, you can go to that person for help. After you have been set free, you are to open your life up to helping others. You are to help them humbly, knowing there trials, and gently.

If you have overcome some struggle in your life, then you are to be the first to share. If you have been dealing with a sin, but are getting through it, then share how you have been succeeding. You are never a failure, because you have sinned. No one is perfect, we all have sinned and fallen short. The true test is if you are using that struggle to now help in God's work, or are you drowning in the secrets of your past mistakes. Open your life to others so that God can bless you. He will turn your weakest moments into your greatest triumphs, if you will let Him. Be the one that, that other person can go to in their time of need. Then when they are strong they can be the helper for someone else. We all have something that we are dealing with. This may be your moment to help, or this may be your moment to heal.