Today, Everyday

Hebrews 3:7-15, "Today you must listen to His voice. Don't harden your hearts against Him as Israel did when they rebelled, when they tested God's patience in the wilderness. There your ancestors tried My patience, even though they saw my miracles for forty years. So I was angry with them, and I said, 'There hearts always turn away from me. They refuse to do what I tell them.' So in my anger I made a vow; 'They will never enter My place of rest.'"
Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters. Make sure that your own hearts are not evil and unbelieving, turning you away from the living God. You must warn each other every day, as long as it is called "today," so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God. For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ. But never forget the warning: "Today you must listen to His voice. Don't harden your hearts against Him."

I have heard the idea of: Once you have accepted Christ, you can never fall away from Him. On one respect, I do believe this. He will never leave me nor will He ever forsake me. I know this. It is not because of my good deeds that I am saved; It is because He loved me and died for me. But why would there be a warning, if you could not fall from Him? The warning is not about Him leaving me, it is about me leaving Him. "Our hearts turn away from the living God when we stubbornly refuse to believe Him. If we persist in our unbelief, God will eventually leave us in our sin."

Every day we have a choice, we can follow Him or we can do things our way. I knew God. I knew what He wanted me to do, but I refused to listen to Him. Every day, I made a conscious effort in disobeying Him. Every day, I would feel Him leave me to my sin. It was my decision and every day I refused to listen to Him. Every day was new and He would try again, every day. But it was always my decision, to accept Him or refuse Him.

I do not know what would have happened to me, if I had stayed in "that" place. I was still hearing His voice tenderly calling to me. I never felt Him give up on me, but I had to make a choice. There came a time in my life when I truly felt Him urgently calling me. It was like He was saying, "This is it dear child, if you refuse me this time, you may never listen to me again." It was an urgency that I had never felt before. It was me! My heart was at the point of no return. I had gone so far that if I refused Him again, in my stubbornness, I would not have listened to Him any more. I would have hardened my heart against Him. I am not saying that I could have never been redeemed, but I am saying, that I had to come to a point and make a choice. I had to set my pride aside and confess my sins, so that I could be set free. He did the rest. Right after I confessed, for that moment, I was not given any choices. I could not make the right decision and He knew it. It was all done for me. My life was drastically changed and none of it was my doing. I just had to let go of everything and take the next step that I was told to take.

I am not the judge of anyone, including myself. I am so thankful for that. I would have given up on me, long ago, but He did not. However, I tremble to think about what would have happened to me if I had stubbornly refused Him, that day. Every day I must still make a choice. I can become complacent in my faith and in turn become weak once more; or I can strengthen myself by spending time with Him, in His word. It is very easy to be deceived and to think that you are okay. One day you are doing very good. Then, it seems the next day, you are falling for the lies of Satan and your heart is becoming hard. It is a daily commitment. Every day, you must make a choice. I choose to rest with Him. He is my strength and He fights the battle for me, but I have to make that choice, every day.

Hebrews 4, "God's promise of entering his place of rest still stands, so we ought to tremble with fear that some of you might fail to get there... For only we who believe can enter His place of rest. As for those who didn't believe, God said, "In my anger I made a vow: They will never enter my place of rest,' "Today you must listen to His voice, Don't harden your hearts against Him." ...Let us do our best to enter that place of rest. For anyone who disobeys God, as the people of Israel did, will fall. For the word of God is full of living power. It exposes us for what we really are. Nothing in all creation can hide from Him. Everything is naked and exposed before His eyes. This is the God to whom we must explain all that we have done...So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it."

I truly do not know what would have happened to me, if I had continued in my stubbornness that day. Would have I died, drowning in my own sin? I do not know. All that I do know is my life was an awful mess. I was dying. Everything about me was dying. In His mercy He helped me when I needed it the most. He saved me, but I had to choose to let Him take control. Then I had to make the conscious effort to strengthen myself with Him. I became determined to never be misled again. I made a commitment to Him and I strengthen myself with Him everyday. I still make mistakes, but there is a difference in stubbornly refusing to obey Him; or trying your best and making mistakes. I never again want to enter the battle alone: I want Him to fight the fight for me. I never again want to question my salvation: I rest in the knowledge that He has fought the fight for me and won the battle. He is my saviour and I love Him. I know I love Him, because I obey Him. I do not have to question my love for Him; in return, I rest with Him.