Inner Joy

Philippians, the book of joy. There is a big difference in having joy and being happy. Days in the mountains, goofing around with no responsibilities makes me happy. Hanging out with friends, talking and basically doing what I want to do, makes me happy. I can be happy when the days are going my way. But joy, now that is different. Joy is only felt when that inner peace comes over you. That calm assurance that you will be taken care of, no matter how your day flows. "In contrast to happiness stands joy. Running deeper and stronger, joy is the quiet, confident assurance of God's love and work in our life-that He will be there no matter what! Happiness depends on happening, but joy depends on Christ." I find that doing what Christ wants me to do gives me joy. It does not matter what I am doing, but in doing His work, I find joy. I can be cleaning the house, or picking up doggie doo, and I am perfectly content because Christ is in my heart. I am satisfied. "The secret of this joy is grounded in our relationship with Christ."

I remember looking at people who had that joy and thinking that they were crazy. I did not understand how they could be so "goofy" all of the time. They ran around like they were children, with tons of energy. Watching them made me tired. More than anything I wanted to bring them back to reality and show them that this was life and it stinks. I mean I had fun, but that fun was in what I was doing. The every day life was not fun and I felt sorry for how deluded they were. They were not living in reality. But another part of me was very jealous, for what they had. I would sit inside my home and watch them as they played outside. I would sit there and wish that I had a different life. It seemed so far from my reality. I could not fathom ever feeling that way.

If you do not have Christ, you cannot have joy. You can only be happy for a moment, then it is gone. But joy can be with you always. That is what Christ feels like living in your heart- Joy. I have that now. I can find peace no matter what I am going through, but I have to turn to Him and ask Him to give me that peace, that joy. When I loose it now, when I let my anger flow, I quickly hear Him talking to me. Letting me know that I am not letting Him work. I have to consistently turn my life, my emotions over to Him, so that He can change my expectations. Not that I do not have high standards, but my joy does not come from my experiences. It comes from the inside of me, where Christ lives. I cannot explain it any better. I can only say that He has changed me from the inside. As long as I am looking to Him for that joy, then I do not loose my cool. As long as I am looking to Him I do not have to worry about much of anything.

Situations happen every day that we did not want to deal with that day. It is never fun to have a flat tire. It is never good when your child has a problem with potty training and now his clothes are covered in "it". It is never good timing when at the end of the day, and all you want to do is relax and the telephone rings and you have to go and take care of something at the office, once again. But in what ever your circumstances are, if Christ is truly living in you, then you can find the peace, that joy that only He can give you, in those situations. Can you feel Him? Do you have that joy? Are you letting Him work, or are you taking care of the situation and letting your emotions ruin your day? I have to ask myself these questions every time I feel myself getting out of control. Then I realize that I am not in control anyway and I feel that inner joy taking control. I have to make myself feel miserable, if I am to stay miserable, because I hear Him talking. I just have to decide who I want to listen to, me or Him.