Loving Extremes

I have noticed several extremes to love. Some people love only their family. Others do only for others, and leave their family out. Still others love only themselves and no one else. And finally their are those who love no one at all. None of these are the correct way to love. Any time you live in extremes, you are wrong. I know I come from a life full of extremes. If I was ever going to do something, it was going to be all or nothing. Even when I started writing in the mornings, I had to control myself. I was wanting to get up every morning and write. Well, if that is all that you are thinking about then the whole reason for doing it is lost. I had to control my extreme nature and monitor myself. If anyone were ever under constant scrutiny, it would be me watching myself. I have to, I love living to the extreme, in what ever I am doing. Just like with the sugar thing. I did not have sugar in my home, so when I would go out I would have double servings of it. Or if I was going to have some ice cream, I wouldn't just have a serving, I would have a mound. This is extreme. I notice extremes in myself and others.

Some people feel if any time taken from family and spent with others it is wrong. They will only do things with their family. For example, I have seen women that will not do anything with anyone at any time, if it is going to interfere with their "husband" time. They will go out during the day, but they will not even take one night in several months to meet with other women and leave the children with their daddy. This is extreme. (It is probably the best of extremes, but still an extreme.) It is a healthy family that can function even when the normal routine is interrupted. It is good for the children and for the father to have that bonding time. It is good to let him feed them dinner and get them ready for bed, every once in a while. The mother is not alone in the parenting and the husband is perfectly capable of taking care of his children. It is healthy to get away from family every once in a while.

The opposite to doing everything with or for your family is only doing for others. This is also an extreme. I have seen people who do very little for their immediate family and are consumed only with others. They are so consumed with how others are doing that they forget about their family. This causes some very bitter and resentful feelings from their spouses and their children. Their spouse feels unwanted and unimportant. Their children feel as though they were a disappointment and feel like failures. This person is usually looked upon very well in the community and people call on them when they need anything. When this person is called upon, they will go out of their way for others. But when their family calls upon them for anything it becomes a burden and this person rarely wants to volunteer for that. I don't know if in this situation the person has attempted to leave a situation they feel inadequate with, so they immerse their lives with others to escape. Or if they feel their family is taken care of so they cannot lose time in worrying about them. In this situation the person involved has lost sight of their priorities. They have forgotten that no matter what, family comes first.

Another extreme is the person who only thinks about themselves. This person is so consumed with what is happening in their day, that they cannot have a conversation unless it is dealing with them. This extreme living encompasses both self love and self hate. Some people love only themselves and so their world centers around how they are feeling that day. Others hate themselves so much that they cannot love anyone. Either way, they are self involved. The selfish person is looked at the worst, by others. Other people look at this person and feel contempt for that person. Others involved with this person do not want to hear again, "how bad they feel, or what they were doing that day." No matter how giving a person is, the selfish person will drain the giving person till they have nothing left to give. In return the selfish person feel like no one wants to hear about their day, well because no one does. Others get burned out on selfishness to the point of not even wanting to be around the selfish person. And in return, the selfish cycle continues. The selfish person becomes even more self involved as the time draws on and becomes a burden to everyone. Whether that person has family or not.

Here is the point: John 13:35, "Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." What are you proving every day? Who are you leaving out of your day? Are you so self involved that you feel no one cares as much about "you" as you do? Are you so concerned about your own family that you cannot spend time with anyone else, if your family is not part of it? Are you so concerned about others that your family feels they "play second fiddle." How much love do you have and are you living a balanced life, in that love? If someone is left out, then there is probably an extreme in your love life. Look at yourself with eyes of truth. Look at your life and judge yourself. Listen to what others are saying about and to you. Live in balance with your love life, so that others can see the love of Christ through you. He did not leave anyone out, He loved perfectly. Every night we need to look back on the day and know that we did the best we could, at loving that day. If you need to, determine to do better in the future. Look around you and see those who need your love that day. Whether it is your spouse, your children, your Christian family or others you come in contact with. Prioritize your loved ones and live in balance with them. The only extreme that is good, is the extreme love for God. If you love Him with extreme love, then you will love others as they need to be loved. (1 John 4:20), "People who don't love other believers, whom they have seen, can't love God, whom they have not seen." (Hebrews 6:11), So, "we are anxious that you keep right on loving others as long as life lasts, so that you will get your full reward."