Anointing His Feet

Luke 7:38ff, "A certain immoral woman heard He was there and brought a beautiful jar filled with expensive perfume. Then she knelt behind Him at His feet, weeping. Her tears fell on His feet, and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing His feet and putting perfume on them... Then Jesus told him this story; 'A man loaned money to two people- five hundred pieces of silver to one and fifty pieces to the other. But neither of them could repay him, so he kindly forgave them both, canceling their debts. Who do you suppose loved him more after that?' Simon answered, 'I suppose the one for whom he canceled the larger debt.' ...I tell you, her sins- and they are many- have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows little love."

How easily we can forget what our Lord has done for us as individuals. Yesterday morning, I woke up and had "spiritual moments with God" on my mind. I wanted the morning to run smoothly, so that I could spend my time with God. My morning went anywhere but smooth. My children were not "respecting my time" and I lost it. Well I didn't loose it and take it out on them, but I lost it. I came down stairs to write and my husband needed to email something for work. What was going on? I needed "my time." I stopped what I was doing and ran to take a shower, for fear that I would lose it on them. I lost it in the shower! I fell to my knees and cried, begging God to help me. So he sent my husband, to interrupt "my" shower time. My husband came in and pulled back the shower curtain and began to talk to me. He told me, very nicely and lovingly, to calm down and everything would be fine, "I just needed to go and get the boys hair cut and run by the office and once I got my mind off of "myself" everything would be fine." Stab. I wasn't thinking about myself, I wanted to spend time with God! Oh, how right he was. It wasn't that God was interrupted, it was that I was interrupted.

"Your faith has saved you; go in peace." Jesus didn't tell the woman to work at having a relationship with Him. He said to "go in peace." He didn't pull me out of the darkness to be blind to His love. He saved me so that I could live every day, every moment in peace. I shouldn't have to rely on "my" time. I am to rely on Him, in His time. Most of the time I can do this, but when I get myself on my mind; things go wrong.

Often people ask me about going back to my old life. If it is hard for me to stay away from my formal addictions. In the moment I often do not give them the answer that I truly believe. My answers, depending on the one asking, will usually go, "No, I like my life now; I wouldn't be a good witness to anyone if I did; No, that one more time may turn into all of the time..." When in reality; when I really think about it; these are not the true reasons that I would not want to get caught up in that life again. I don't want the addictions because I do not want them to get in the way of my relationship with my Lord. Sometimes I get caught up in the time when I can spend alone with God, but in reality it is not about the time. It is about my relationship with Him. I cannot thank Him enough for what He has done for me.

My God came to this earth as a dirty baby, being born with the animals. He walked on this ground being covered in dust. He died an atrocious, demeaning death. He fought with death for three days and conquered it, for me. He graciously allows me to cry at His feet, then He clamly and lovingly tells me to "go in peace." How thankful I am that I can have a relationship with my Lord. There is nothing here on earth worth losing that relationship for. As long as I am not thinking about what "I" want, then I can live everyday in peace. "Wisdom is shown to be right by the lives of those who follow it." Every day is new, and every day I must ask myself, am I living with wisdom as my guide? Am I letting God speak to me and guide me? Are you?