Society has made men think they are weak. We as wives, many times are helping society right along with their misconception, because we are making our husbands weak. There are so many different ideas being thrown at us through the media, Hollywood, TV, that we have lost what it is to actually see a strong man, and realize they are all capable of strength. After my previous experiences with my ex husband, I was awful. I cannot tell you how pathetic I thought men were and just how much hate I had for all of them. I was right there with, "typical", any time a man would make any kind of mistake.
Here is the truth of what happened, I was wrong. In my first marriage, I allowed my husband to lead me anywhere he desired. I was wrong. Because I was wrong, I did not expect anything out of him. I did not challenge him. I just coward to him, and fed him, until he became a glutton. Ezekiel 16:49, "Sodom's sins were pride, laziness, and gluttony..." Do you see what I did to my husband? I did not expect anything from him. I served him these sins on a platter. Then wondered what had happened to him? I did him an injustice. 1 Samuel 25, Abigail is the perfect example of what a wife is supposed to be for her lazy husband. She was sensible and capable. She was a persuasive speaker, and she was able to see beyond herself. She did not cower to his every desire. She saved his life! God took care of the rest.
When I married Jason, I was a mess. But I did take from my previous mistakes and learned a very valuable lesson. My attitude was wrong, for men are not scum, but my desire was headed in the right direction. I would never again allow the sins of a man to control my walk with my God. I was messed up, but my focus was on Christ. There was something that this "weak" man had to earn and it was my respect, if truth be told, it was my everything. In this I think it actually helped him to push harder. I desired to see him as a strong man and I would tell him, he could be. He desired me to want him. He desired peace and he wanted to help me. We both wanted a healthy marriage. We had to become who Christ intended each of us to be. In this, we discovered our strengths.
Here is my point. You have heard the saying, "behind every good man, is a good woman." It is true. Trust me, I am looking at myself when I say this next part. I have seen very good men fall, and many times it was because of the women that were behind them. I have also seen men become wonderful, and it was largely to do with a true woman helping them. God did not make me a woman so that I could be an enabler. He made me a woman, because He needed me to be a helper. I challenge my husband. I push him to draw closer to God. He challenges me, and provides for me an environment that helps me grow. We work together to draw closer to Christ. But hear this, if my husband was not willing to walk with me, I would not stop walking. I would press on, in order to help him; in order for my relationship with Christ to survive. I hope that I never have the title of enabler again. I cherish the title of helper; I do not take my job lightly. So if something is important for my spiritual walk with Christ and my husband did not want to join me; I would still make that important decision for my Lord, and walk with Him. What is Christ expecting of you? Are you enabling your husband in his sins, or are you helping him draw closer to God?
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