Did you know that 50 to 60% of all marriages end in divorce, and half of the ones that stay married say that they no longer have an intimate relationship, after 9 or 10 years. Some don't even have to wait that long. We as Americans are leading the world in divorce. And we wonder, why? I have been putting a lot of my effort in helping to get a marriage simulcast for our small town. In our small town we have seen many divorces among the group that calls themselves Christians, and we wonder why? Why are our marriages falling apart? What has happened in our families, that we cannot stay together? I have witnessed at least one answer to this problem. There has been one outstanding comment that our "Christians" have made. No one really wants to work. No one cares enough to put in the time or effort, for our families.
I have truly been upset by our people. We have been advertising for Focus on Marriage, for several months. I have about 30 couples that have registered for this event. 30 couples that have decided to lay one Saturday aside for their marriage. I counted over 20 churches of different denominations here. That means that if each church, who calls themselves believers in Christ, had members attend, less than 2 members would be represented by each church. Why are our marriages falling apart? Do we really have to ask?
"I have a good marriage, I don't need to attend an event for marriages." This is one answer that I have encountered. Lets say that you have a wonderful marriage. Lets say that you never struggle, ever. Will you have a friend that needs help? Do you have all the answers for someone else, when they come to you for advise? I know that I don't. I need someone to help me find the right answers for others. I have my experience, but I don't know all the answers. These kind of events can prepare us for helping others.
I do have a strong marriage. Jason and I are extremely happy. He knows how to give me what I need, from my husband, and I know how to give him what he needs, from me as a wife. I am so excited for our marriage. There is always room for growth. We can always get better. I am not afraid that I may hear something that I will have to work on. He is not afraid to hear he can improve. We work at our marriage, that is why it is so great.
Another answer that I have heard, "I don't want to give up my Saturday, I just don't like things like that." What? What do you think your spouse hears when they hear this? I will tell you. They hear, "I am not important enough to you, for you to give up your time." I am telling you, this is what they hear. They may not really understand it. They may not fully grasp the idea, but they will.
You have to build your marriage on agape love. God's love. This is something that can help our Christ followers to learn, but do they want to work? Many marriages begin because of lust, not love. We fall in lust with someone, then as time goes by, lust is gone. We have to learn to replace lust with love. "The problem with America today- is not America. It is the church. We have become very shallow as Christians. We have become masters at engineering feelings without much thought." (Ravi Zacharias) No one wants to work. We have a society with our hands out, asking to be fed. Then we wonder why we starve! Wake up people, everything takes work. The work is worth it. You have to plow and plant the seed, before you can reap the harvest. Events like this are not just about marriage and how to live happily ever after. They are about Christ and how to allow Him to take hold of every part of your life. It takes work, but oh how sweet His fruit is!
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