Seeing Him Better

Luke 7:36-50, "When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, 'If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner'...Jesus replied, 'I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.' Then Jesus said to the woman, 'Your sins are forgiven.'”

I absolutely adore this verse, especially since my hair is so long. I can easily place myself in this verse, for my sins-and they are many-have been forgiven. There was a time in my life when I felt like no one would ever want me. I didn't deserve anything good, for look at me. (take a deep breath, you can do this) How could anyone ever want me? Look at what they would be getting if they dared to be stupid enough to accept me... Molested in 5th grade, multiple sex partners, ex-stripper, divorced, Multiple Sclerosis, STD (undiagnosed but still, I'm not that stupid), drug addiction.... My list of unworthiness goes on and on. But you know what the really cool thing is, with Him, none of that is held against me. My sins-and they are many- are forgiven.

I hear women all of the time talk about how no one would ever want them with their past, all these kids, divorced, never married... their list also goes on and on. If we can take our eyes off of ourselves just long enough to see Him, we will realize that our baggage that we carry is not too heavy for Him to move, so that others do not see our guilt when they see us either. Really it is not about me and the crap that comes with me. It is about Christ. He will give us exactly what we need when we need it, and nothing that comes with us matters. Everything is about my own personal relationship with Him. He gave me what I needed, when I needed it most, so that I would draw closer to Him, faster.

If your desire is in opposition of you drawing closer to Him, then why would He give you something that He knows is ultimately against Him. It is not that you do not deserve something. It is that He wants you to want Him more. If we will start to look to Him, He will give us what we need in order to see Him better. When we start seeing Him better, our desires start changing. When we start seeing Him better, we will no longer focus on the "undesirable" things that come with us. When we start seeing Him better, others will see Him in us. And when others can see Him in us, our baggage is no longer something that burdens them, for He is carrying it for us and for them. So when you start feeling like you will never get...stop looking at you luggage. Look to Him and He will show you how desirable you are. When we start seeing our self, how He sees us, then He can give us our hearts desire.

Oswald Chambers, "Do we expect God to come to us with His blessings and save us? He says, "Look to Me, and be saved . . . ." The greatest difficulty spiritually is to concentrate on God...The basic lesson of the Sermon on the Mount is to narrow all your interests until your mind, heart, and body are focused on Jesus Christ. 'Look to Me...' ...Wake yourself up and look to God. Build your hope on Him. No matter how many things seem to be pressing in on you, be determined to push them aside and look to Him. 'Look to Me...' Salvation is yours the moment you look."

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/01/22/devotion.aspx?year=2010