HOOTERS

2 Samuel 11, "In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king's men and the whole Israelite army... But David remained in Jerusalem. One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, 'Isn't this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?' Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her."

"It is okay to look, if you don't touch." This is what I have heard my entire life. "Guys just do that, they can't help it," is another one. "After you are married, you can do anything with your husband as long as you both consent." Another lie. It starts simple, as simple as going to restaurants like HOOTERS and having their wings. People take their kids in there all of the time, instructing their children on how dad looks, but doesn't touch. It started that way with David and Bathsheba as well. David should have been fighting with his men, but instead he was left alone with his own appetite. He was a king. He was powerful and he could do what ever he wanted. It started with a look. A simple look that never hurts anyone. A look that destroys lives. It happens all the time.

That is how it started with me. It started with my ex husband's addiction to pornography. I thought it was no big deal. It was a big deal, for I could never satisfy him. This is what led me to stripping. While I was the eye candy of many men, my own husband was never satisfied. His mind was raging with women. He was trapped so far into pornography, right and wrong were no longer even in the hemisphere. The trap is set, for your eye has been searching the menu and once you have tasted one, you have to go for another. When you are constantly looking at all the delicacies, eating from the same table never becomes satisfactory if the menu says you can try something new. You turn on the TV to watch a football game, your mind is drawn to the cheerleaders and commercials. From billboards, to when you walk into church and you see a woman in a spaghetti strapped dress with her back exposed, men who are addicted to pornography cannot turn off their minds from noticing the menu.

“There are many many angles at which you can fall, but only one angle at which you can stand straight. Civilization dominated by herself today is testing the angles... Intense is the agony, when the eye begins to see, when the ear begins to hear, when the pulse begins to pound, when the heart begins to throb, when the soul feels its flesh, and when the flesh feels its chains. He moves from rejection to alienation to domination and finally condemnation.” (RZ) There is nothing more tragic than watching men fall to the lie and trap of pornography. I have seen it; I have experienced it from every angle.

I have never been with a man who was more dissatisfied than I was with my ex. Nothing I ever did could satisfy him, and trust me I did it all. I was willing to do what ever he wanted, but it was never enough for he was ragging with the menu in front of him. I have never had a more satisfied sexual experience that what I have with my husband, Jason now. He never believed the lie of pornography and so we both live a very fulfilled sexual life. One big difference as a woman, I don't have to preform for my husband. If your husband is into pornography, you are always having to preform, but now I just enjoy what God gave us to enjoy. There is no competition. There is just love between a husband and his wife. “You are only as sick as your secrets.” (Ruth Graham)
If you are addicted to pornography, trust me, get help so that you can learn what true satisfaction is, before you destroy your wife, your children and your life.

Matthew 5:27, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." It is a heart thing and it destroys lives. If your husband is addicted to pornography, please do not divorce him. It is something that is tearing him apart, help him. (The hard part is for you as a wife not to take it personally. I am telling you from experience, it is not you and how you look. It is his heart and his heart is dying.) I did it wrong! I fed my ex's appetite instead of helping him. There will never be rest in my heart for that one, for pornography almost destroyed the both of us. I was weak and I had bought the lie that it was okay. When you can learn what true fulfillment is all about, you can have the most fulfilling sexual life as husband and wife. That is what it is all about. Nothing is better, I promise.