DVR

Family get together's are often some of my most frustrating and difficult times.  Quarrels of some kind are almost always a guarantee and there is never a time without tears.  And I will be the first to admit, I have a wonderful family!  So during Thanksgiving break, we make a trip to Texas to join my family for the holiday.  On the way I am consciously making up my mind that this time together is going to be different with them.  (Okay, guys hang in there.)  Well, on the second day, I started my period.  So, right there I decide that "everything that happens is not real.  My hormones are just out of whack and whatever is said that hurts, I just took it wrong."  With that determination I discovered that I HAD A GREAT TIME!  There was never a moment of discord.  A fight did not occur once.  I shed No tears... It was wonderful.

"C.S. Lewis pitched a view of hell as a giant, ever expanding subdivision where - because of continual, petty quarrels- you're ever-increasingly alone," Dave Schmelzer, "Not the Religious Type".

That's it!  I had been the one all of this time choosing to get offended by some little thing.  All of these years I was the one causing the divisions.  They had never been attacking me, I had been choosing my own hell.

I love to listen to audio teachings.  Ray Vanderlaan is someone I turn to often to learn more about the Jewish culture.  In one of his teachings, The Temple at Arad he takes us through some of the Hebrew letters.  Dalet (d), Bet/Vet (b,v), Resh (r); dvr.  In the original Hebrew there were no vowels, you had to supply the correct vowel in the correct place by knowing what the context was.  (I will butcher this if I try and explain what he teaches, just listen to the audio yourself.  It is very good!) Anyway, the letters DVR are the same letters for "the most holy place" of the temple, the sheep fold, and the desert.  Well, DVR perked my attention attention as soon as I heard it related to the temple, especially since this is where I heard God speak to me for the first time in 1 Kings.

Several years ago, I had been reading the bible every morning for an entire year, begging God to become real to me.  I started with Psalms, moved to Proverbs, the New Testament, finally moved to the Old Testament.  Every morning was the same.  I got on my knees, begged God, "Please let me hear you.  Please speak to me."  Every morning was the same.  I read words on a page, closed my bible and left without even a whisper.  Then the dimensions of the temple came in 1 Kings, along with a drawing of the temple in my bible.  I was more than bored with the dimensions and all of the specifics about the it, I was bored until I heard something very loud and clear that is.  "Now you see how I value every aspect of my temple.  You are my temple.  Do you see how you have not taken care of my temple, you!"  The realness of God that I had wanted was here!  Now the temple is a very big deal to me.....

When Ray talked about the dvr writings in Hebrew concerning temple, I got and instant illustration about what we usually think of when we hear DVR.  I don't have to explain... What has been my recording with my family all of these years?  What have I hit auto record on that it is now an obvious miss-recording?  We all do it, whether it is something we take offense to, or some kind of coping skill.  Whatever it is, we go "there". And that thing we automatically do is secretly trying to destroy us.  My auto buttons are slowly getting redirected, but this one with my family has been there lurking under the cover of "it's them, not you."  This time, I used the excuse of hormones, to purposefully change my behavior and now I can see how I had been creating my own "hell".  They all stayed the same.  I changed my response and I had a most amazing time with my family.

What do you have preset in your DVR?  What is your instant response to others?  Do you find yourself in an "ever expanding subdivision where - because of continual, petty quarrels- you're ever-increasingly alone."  Do you separate yourself so that you can hide with some addiction, (quick offense, sneaking a piece of sugar, pornography, ect...) then later wonder why you feel so alone?  Can you notice your misdirected DVR and redirect what your doing?  Everyone can if they are willing to make the hard choice to do the work, no matter how long it takes, then obey the voice when He sees they are ready to hear.  Change your recording so that you can finally live free, in the true joy of others...

Ah.... Oswald Chambers, "My Utmost For His Highest sums it up beautifully for us today :)

An open apology to my family, especially my mom... So sorry for having P.M.S. for ..... well, forever!