Showing posts with label Cross. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cross. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

"I Do"

What do you think of when you hear the phrase, "I do"?  This past weekend was Easter Sunday, while we were at church I kept hearing "I do".  I was one of the ones that said "I do" as part of a beautiful baby dedication/baptism.  It was a phrase that was heard throughout the sanctuary as others, including the baby's momma (the baby that I held nestled in my arms), were baptized (fully immersed in water, a choice made as a commitment to God).  "I do", a commitment phrase that was heard around the world on Easter as people were pronouncing their belief that Jesus Christ is Lord.  "I do" a commitment phrase heard around the world every day as others are getting married and committing themselves to stay with their mate they have chosen: For better or worse, Richer or poorer, Through sickness and health.  A promise, a commitment, to serve and to love.  What have we committed our-self to? What are we dedicated to as we live our day to day life?

Sadly, I have been married two times to two very different men in two very different ways.  I have written in more detail on my first marriage in "Sin's False Love", so I will spare you and me both from that road trip for now.  In that marriage I committed myself to a man and he became my lord, and because of that commitment to a man, we both fell apart.  This time I am married again, but the commitment is different.  My commitment is to Christ first, then to my marriage.  When Jason and I were married we had within our vows that we were confident that God had chosen the other for us.  We were confident and made our declaration to God to be focused on Him first, then our marriage within this new family, second.  Two very different commitments. Two very different lives. One filled with Christ as the center, the other with relational infidelity ruling us. Commitments just the same, one that was self serving adultery and the other a servant that is full of abundant life.

Easter weekend, a very big weekend indeed!  Christ went to the cross as an atoning sacrifice, a sin offering.  He lived gallantly and died with sin on display before the world.  Colossians 2:15, "He disarmed those who once ruled over us—those who had overpowered us. Like captives of war, He put them on display to the world to show His victory over them by means of the cross." Then after He rose He gave all of us a charge.  Mark 16:15, "Go out into the world and share the good news with all of creation. Anyone who believes this good news and is ceremonially washed (in water baptism) will be rescued, but anyone who does not believe it will be condemned."  At the end of all of the gospels is a charge to all of us to go out and tell our live's story, so that His story is revealed to the world, our world that we are each a part of. In Jonh 21, Jesus appears to His disciples and asks Peter three different times, "Do you love me?" All three very hurt-felt moments on Peters confession of his love for his Lord, he says, "Yes Lord, You know I love You."  Then Jesus' charge, "Feed My sheep, look after My people, share My story." We are each called to go alone on this journey. It is our personal journey that we must do alone, Oswald Chambers

I thought I would sleep in this morning.  I thought that since I went to bed around 12:30am, that I would be able to sleep till at least 7am.  I am not bragging.  I am not saying that everyone must get up at 5:30am, but I am saying that my alone time with my God was calling.  I hear His voice better in the morning, before my boys awake, before life distractions take my focus, but even with this I must be careful.  Do you Worship the Work?  Must I have "my time with God"?  Often, I have discovered that my alone time "with God", can become a work, if it is interrupted, I do not live as someone in love with Christ.  "I worship my time with my coffee" is more like it. Every moment of every day, I must call myself to refocus.  I must commit myself to be committed to Him and what He is showing me in that moment, where I should walk, who I should show His love to.  It is when my heart is being selfish that I discover I am living in "sin" no matter how good it may appear on the surface.  I am saying this because this past Easter Sunday, my alone time with my coffee was interrupted.  I call it my coffee time, because my focus was not on my God at all, but on a time of day to be quiet with my coffee. If that interruption destroys my story about my "changed" life with Christ, my focus is taken off of Him and how I am to show His love to others, die to myself, and rise new with Him.  It is distorted and relational infidelity is the result. The Habit of having No Habits

Are we able to live in focus with our God?  Have we made that commitment with our own lives and are we following through with that commitment?  He has proven His love for us.  He felt it well worth it to live as one of us.  He did not come to be one of us in the glory and "easy" life, but He chose to be born in poverty, to be baptized to show part of His obedience, to die a disgraceful death upon a cross.  But all of it, His whole life and ours, is about the Resurrection to a New Life, and that is well worth living for.  It is about disarming that power that once ruled over us and living free with Christ as our ruler.  Who/what is your ruler?  Where is our commitment today?

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Son of Man, a Second Touch



Mark 8:22-37, as we begin this journey through a second look into a very similar story please read the links, so we can follow my random thoughts easier! The healings that the Christ preforms are usually instant and full. This time a second touch is needed. "Can you see anything?" Jesus asks. "Yes, I see people but they look like trees." Again Jesus touches him and asks if he can see. This time the healing was complete. Mark gives us this story as a possibility that we may need to look again. Look this time and see what we can find new and complete...

Who is Jesus the Christ? What are our expectations of Him? What do we expect to happen with our own lives by being called His followers?

Jesus asked them, "Who do you say that I am?" Peter's reply, "You are God's anointed the Liberating King.... the Messiah."

With this answer came expectations. They expected the Messiah to be a political leader, a conqueror, to set them free from their Roman oppressors. In His own explanation of Himself Jesus said much differently.

I, the "Son of Man must suffer many terrible things and be rejected by the elders, the leading priests, and the teachers of religious law. He would be killed, but three days later he would rise from the dead."

We suffer. We have trials. We have sadness and loss. Jesus came as the "Son of Man". He came to suffer with us, for us, and to conquer death that is ever trying to trap us. As the Son of Man He has demonstrated the way and we are to follow Him there.

“If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?"

Mark 14, Go to Link!

Why did all of this happen? Did the woman really understand what she was doing? Did she know that she was preparing Jesus for burial? I think she was showing Him appreciative love. She was grateful for how He had helped her. It doesn't say how He had touched her, but we know that she loved and appreciated Him.

A look at Judas... We know that Judas was part of the 12, but we know that he still had deceit in his heart. He stole from the money that he was in charge of. He didn't embrace Jesus and His teachings on love. He saw Jesus the way that most saw Him, a conqueror. I don't think that Judas really knew what He was doing. I think he believed Jesus to be the Messiah, but his understanding of what that meant was off. I think that he was trying to force his belief. He was forcing Jesus to take a stand and battle. He wanted Him to reign and defeat his enemy. When this did not turn out how he thought it should have, he felt great remorse and begged for the money to be taken back. He wished he had never been born and killed himself for what he had done. He wasn't willing to follow Jesus all the way until the end to see how things would turn out. He turned his back on life and ended it in suicide.

A look a Peter.... Peter was ready to die in battle. He was prepared to go into battle with Jesus like Strider was prepared to battle for Froto in Lord of the Rings. But Jesus wanted them to understand differently. He was battling with them by being one of them! He was the true Son of Man and He was going all the way in suffering, to death. I don't think Peter really denied Jesus, but he was confused on what he was supposed to do. He was ready to draw his sword, but he was told not to. He heard that death was coming, but didn't understand the way. His denial was said in confusion.... not in true denial, when he realized what he had actually done, he left sorrowfully. He couldn't believe the reality of his words. They were true and he had actually (in misunderstanding) denied his Lord.

What are my expectations with my Christ? I have begged and pleaded for healing for over 19 years. I now see a way through intelligent design, through stem cells that have been laying dormant for all this time, just waiting to be awoken. I am counting on this healing, a fresh start in life. But what if my healing doesn't come? What if it doesn't work the way I see? Am I going to give up on life? Am I going to commit emotional suicide? Am I going to deny my Lord, because of my confusion?

I have been on this journey too long to give up now. This is not about what I want or what I can get out of this Jesus thing. It is about my true belief in my God. Can I go with Him, even if it is through suffering unto death? Can You Come Down from the Mountain? Can I stand with Him no matter where He is taking me, no matter what my understanding may be?

Saturday, September 8, 2012

The Live Project

Acts 8:12, "But now the people believed Philip’s message of Good News concerning the Kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ. As a result, many men and women were baptized."

This is a very difficult time to be doing anything publicly in the "name of Jesus Christ."  Why?  Why do we somehow seem "ashamed" to say His name?  Why do I hide when others ask me about what I am doing when I am preparing for a big event in "the name of Christ?"  To some I may seem fake, for I am cautious about my God's name.  I am reluctant to apply "Christianity" to the answer of, "What are you involved with?"  Am I a coward?  Am I trying to be deceptive?  Am I ashamed of my God?

I once heard Ravi Zacharias talking about this exact situation.   He said, "When others ask me what I do for a living I try everything in my power to avoid telling them I am a preacher." (This is not verbatim, but this is from memory only, so go with me on this;) "There is nothing that will kill a conversation faster than letting them know that you come in the name of Jesus."

That is it.... I am Not afraid of who my God is.  I am So Proud of who He is.  However, I am very embarrassed about how He has often been portrayed to others and this is why I feel the way I do.  I want them to see how wonderful He is before they make their preconceived judgments based upon how someone else has displayed Him to them. 

Last night my college kids did a Very Big thing.  We went onto our University's campus and brought a glimpse of our God to their peers.  My kids did amazingly.  I am so proud of them!  This was no walk in the park.  It took many hours of hard work to get everything done.  They spent every week through the summer practicing for this event.  Songs were written and time building our team was crucial.  We all were attacked in some form, from within the group itself and from outside.  But, they held strong and in the end pulled it off.  My goal was to bring who we are as a group to the college, so that when they hear we are meeting they will want to come and see what we are really doing.  I want others to see that it is not just a history lesson and being told how bad we all are.  We are a group of people who are learning how to live out this life.  We are learning to live so that we truly live free.  We are developing who we are, trying to live with integrity, working trough our problems, and realizing how truly valuable we are as people.  Gaining strength in who Christ sees in us is everything.  If we think He looks upon us as failures, "sinners", then how does this boost our self worth and build our self respect?

Through the years, I have learned more about the Cross of Christ.  Every bit of what I have been learning not only gives me value, but this discovery of who He is has truly redeemed me from within my own heart.  I no longer have to hide behind a wall built upon false jokes and false security that seems to guard my heart from the hurt within.  I have discovered the freedom of living with Him and my goal is to share that freedom with others, but first I need them to hear.  I need to understand that they too have been hurt.  I need to understand that if I go brazenly into their territory and shout out  His name, His love is not going to be heard.  I need others who are with me in this journey to see my heart.  I need them to give me respect and even if they do not understand my methods I need them to respectfully submit to my authority as the leader.  My goal is my God.  My vision is His Cross.  My ways are patient and they are tender toward those I can see.  For I see a generation who does not know my God.  I see a generation that needs some time.  I see a generation in need.  How am I going to reach them, if they do not stay around long enough to hear?

Last night we did many things that were great.  We also did things that I would change if we ever have the chance to do another college event, but we are "The Live Project" and this is what we are all about.  We are learning as we are going and growing as we are living.  Our message is the Good News about how valuable we really are.  Our message is the Good News on learning to live out this life.  I am So Proud of my kids.  You did it!  The event happened and others came to see what we were all about, and still others came to give each one of you their full support.  Congratulations Team!  Each time we do a new thing we learn more about this life and we gain more strength to endure the hard work in order to accomplish our goals.  What is our goal?

Our first goal should always be our own relationship with our King.  What is He trying to teach me?  What is He saying to my own heart?  The next big goal is learning to represent His love to a people who have never before seen a love like His.  Everywhere we go in this life we are showing people something.  The only thing He really ever asked us to show is His love...

I want to thank everyone!  Thank you for the time you spent away from your families.  Thank you for coming beside these college students, so they can learn the value in their leadership.  Thank you for all of you who provided us with an amazing abundance of food.  Thank you to all of you who helped out during and after the event.  Thank you for coming and showing us how much you love us, just by being with us.  Thank you for those of you who came and saw a Very Small glimpse of our love of our God.  Please come around again, for I want to hear your voice as well.  Thank you... Thank you.... Thank You

Monday, December 12, 2011

Changing DNA

The birth of Jesus is one of the main targets for the season. We celebrate His birth. We give gifts. The churches actually fill up and we see people who usually are never there suddenly walking in to give homage to Christ. This is a season of joy for most and a time to spend with others, but it is also a season of questions. One of those questions is something that Larry King had addressed to him on his TV show one night. The questioner asked him, "If you could interview one person across history who would it be and why?" Larry looked at him and without pause said, "Jesus Christ, and if He truly was virgin born. The answer to that would answer every question in life for me."

I have had this question brought to me in an awkward moment by an acupuncturist I once saw. As I was laying on the table receiving my treatment for my MS, she looked at me and said, "Do you really believe that Jesus was born from a virgin?" How do you really dive into such an enormous subject while you are pinned down? It is not just a question asked by those who do not believe, but it is a question that every believer must wrestle with as well. It is a question that actually weaves itself within all of scripture and it is an answer that deals within all of us as we travel with our faith in how we live out our life.

Lets start with the first obvious question, "Was Jesus truly virgin born?" The question is actually, "Was Jesus God?" John 1, "In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through Him, and nothing was created except through Him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and His life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it."

I do not have enough space to really go into everything, but lets assume that we all agree that there is an Intelligent Creator. And lets assume that we all agree that this Intelligent Creator is God and He is the one that Christ clammed to be. So if Jesus is really who He said He was, "God", then why would it be so outrageous to assume that the one who gave nature its laws and ordered the cells within to have intelligence, why is it so hard to grasp the virgin birth? Maybe it is not really the virgin birth at all, but another question all together. Maybe the true question is really all about "me". Maybe the true question is, "What does this say about who I am? And if it really is true, how would I ever be able to live up to the standards that I think the bible sets in front of me?"

Now this is where things get cool. There are some things that we do in which we really do not know why we do them. We all struggle with something that we wonder, "Why do I struggle with this when it seems my friends do not?" It seems to be in our DNA, how we are made up. Our struggles seem to be something that we are born with. Now we turn to the virgin birth. The virgin birth is a change in DNA and how it runs within its laws. If Christ was born because of the change of DNA, how much more awesome are His words, “I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God.”... “I assure you, no one can enter the Kingdom of God without being born of water and the Spirit. Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life. So don’t be surprised when I say, ‘You must be born again.’"

"Christ did not come into this world to make bad people good. He came to so that the dead could live," (RZ). He came to give us a new life. A life that we could never manufacture on our own. He came so that He could change our DNA. If we learn to change our focus, He changes our hearts. He changes our desires, by changing what our DNA says we must do and what we assume we have no control over. It is all a supernatural transformation that only the Christian faith provides. All other religions say that we must pull ourselves up, all by our self. It is only in Christ that we are given a supernatural transformation and our lives are drastically changed.

“Richard Dawkins has gone the root of saying, 'there is no such thing as good or evil. It is ultimately all of us dancing to our DNA.' … Its all in our DNA. Its all in our DNA..." When we hear statements like this, we have hope. "You must be born again." Our challenge is in allowing Christ to change our DNA. If we truly turn to Him and start changing our focus, we start to love Him. And when we start to love Him, we start to obey Him. It is not about living out this life so that we no longer have any fun and we become rule keepers. It is all about learning to live free from the prison of our DNA.

“It is a trap to presume that God wants to make us perfect specimens of what He can do— God’s purpose is to make us one with Himself. The emphasis of holiness movements tends to be that God is producing specimens of holiness to put in His museum. If you accept this concept of personal holiness, your life’s determined purpose will not be for God, but for what you call the evidence of God in your life...” (Oswald Chambers)

Allow Him to change your DNA, by changing your life focus. We do this by following His words, "You must be born again."

Monday, November 21, 2011

Go and Sin No More

John 8:4-11, “'Teacher,' they said to Jesus, 'this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?'
They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, 'All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone! Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.
When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman,'Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?'
'No, Lord,' she said.
And Jesus said, 'Neither do I. Go and sin no more.'”

There are so many lessons/questions that come from this short passage, but I will only focus on one. "Go and sin no more." Jesus did not condemn the woman. He did not throw any stones, nor did he prevent others from throwing any stones themselves. He diverted their attention away from her, toward themselves, but He did not say they couldn't kill her. After the crowds attention was taken off of her and it was only her with Jesus, He looked at her and said, "'Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?'
'No, Lord,' she said. And Jesus said, 'Neither do I. Go and sin no more.'”

If we have a God who is just, a God who hates sin, a God who is fair, shouldn't there be a price for sin? In every religion of the world (and yes, atheism is a religion too), in every religion there is some kind of penance. You have to do something in order to earn your pardon. In every religion of the world your pardon is based upon your works. In every religion except Christianity that is. Our pardon is based fully upon the Cross. It is through the Cross of Christ that our debt was paid. Every bit of God's judgement against humanity was felt upon the Cross. Our Lord, because He is a God of love, came down and felt the full effect of our sin on the Cross and now because of the Cross, "Because I live, you also will live." (John 14:19)

This woman did not have to pay her debt by stoning, because Jesus stood in her place and defended her. He did not condone what she had done. He finished His conversation with her by saying, "Go and sin no more." He did not say, "Go and continue on in how you are living." He said, "Go and sin no more." Why?

There are so many reasons to the, why?: (14:23), “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and We will come to them and make Our home with them. Anyone who does not love Me will not obey My teaching. These words you hear are not My own; they belong to the Father who sent Me." This is one reason, it shows that you love your Lord. But all too often people need something in the physical. This is the physical, so much pain comes in this life because of sin. "Go and sin no more." He has already paid the price, so why not? One reason, other people judge us. When something bad happens because of our sin, too many times, people are standing there with stones in hand saying, "well they are getting what they deserve. Its karma. They dug their grave, now they can dig themselves out."

It is only the passion of the Cross of Christ where we find our freedom. It is only in seeing the full effects of our sin being nailed upon that Cross that we can "go and sin no more." It is through the Cross where we can find the strength to allow Christ to change who we are and to start living a truly different life. Sin is the breaking of His Moral Law and with that law there are consequences here in this life that we must pay for our sin. The woman felt the sting of her sin when she was dragged out in front of everyone and made to feel the lesser. When we sin, we feel the consequences, but the Cross allows us to see the end, and the end is life. This is why Jesus answered her with, "Go and sin no more." He does not want us to continually feel the sting. He wants our life to change so that we can find the freedom of living. We cannot earn our forgiveness. Consequences are just an effect. An effect He does not want us to suffer. That is why He says, "Go and sin no more." Stop causing yourself pain. I paid the price, now learn how to live free.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Veil Taken Away

2 Corinthians 3:12ff, "Since this new way gives us such confidence, we can be very bold. We are not like Moses, who put a veil over his face so the people of Israel would not see the glory, even though it was destined to fade away. But the people’s minds were hardened, and to this day whenever the old covenant is being read, the same veil covers their minds so they cannot understand the truth. And this veil can be removed only by believing in Christ. Yes, even today when they read Moses’ writings, their hearts are covered with that veil, and they do not understand. But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like Him as we are changed into His glorious image."

I was once talking to a sweet young woman about my life and she just could not understand. To her, everything that I had done, since I truly gave my life to Christ, seemed like I was walking blind. She thought that the decisions I had made, were decisions made in blindness, and it is by shear luck that they worked out the way they did. But to me, the way that I lived before was living in blindness. I was a wanderer, wandering around in the darkness of the world.

As I watch others living out their lives, I am often heartbroken because of the choices that I see them making. They think that I do not understand and I am just judging them, because I do not see things their way. But I am not. I now see things more clearly than I ever have before. I have opened my heart up toward God enough, so that I see things more clearly now through His eyes. I can clearly see sin, but I can also more clearly see how much He loves us and how He is crying out for us to see things through His eyes. Now please do not take this and think, that I think, I know it all and that I think that I am perfect. I also see my own heart more and know how truly evil I am. It is not in seeing how much we have sinned. It is not about our sin at all. It is, everything is, about His Holiness.

If we are going out and partying; If we are getting high; If we are sleeping around; If we are living for our next physical pleasure; If we are living for our next false intimacy, it is about our sin. For all that we can think about is our next time to live out that high. Everything becomes about us. What is that next big rush we are living for? Or, what is it that we are going to spend our time crying over, because we cannot get our mind off of whatever it was that we just did? All in all, it remains about us.

But we are called not to live for that next pleasure. We are called to live in His joy. 2 Cor 5:14, "Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them...This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!"

Oswald Chambers, "Being saved and seeing Jesus are not the same thing. Many people who have never seen Jesus have received and share in God’s grace. But once you have seen Him, you can never be the same. Other things will not have the appeal they did before.

You should always recognize the difference between what you see Jesus to be and what He has done for you. If you see only what He has done for you, your God is not big enough. But if you have had a vision, seeing Jesus as He really is, experiences can come and go, yet you will endure “as seeing Him who is invisible” (Hebrews 11:27). The man who was blind from birth did not know who Jesus was until Christ appeared and revealed Himself to him (see John 9). Jesus appears to those for whom He has done something, but we cannot order or predict when He will come. He may appear suddenly, at any turn. Then you can exclaim, “Now I see Him!” (see John 9:25)."

Where is your true heart's focus? What is your true desire? We must look at ourselves with truth, in order to see Him more clearly. If you have truly given your life to Christ, there will be proof of that in the way you live, in your focus for your life. What is your focus? Do you see Him, or do you see your sin?

Monday, April 5, 2010

Same Old Story

Yesterday at church, was the same old story that we have all heard a thousand times before. Nothing new, the resurrection of Christ. To some the story seems mundane. To some the only stories they hear from the pulpit are the birth, death, and resurrection stories. They hear a lesson preached from the pulpit, two maybe three times a year. They walk in, do their duty for the year, and walk out thinking, "nothing new there." Nothing new there, must resound in their ears, but to those of us that have tasted the sweet taste of forgiveness, we know there is something new there, every day. I always see something new...

John 20, "So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. Then Simon Peter, who was behind him, arrived and went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus' head. The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen. Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed...She turned to leave and saw someone standing there. It was Jesus, but she didn’t recognize Him. 'Dear woman, why are you crying?' Jesus asked her. 'Who are you looking for?' She thought He was the gardener. 'Sir,' she said, 'if you have taken Him away, tell me where you have put Him, and I will go and get Him.' 'Mary!' Jesus said. She turned to Him and cried out, 'Rabboni!'”

The story is written so that we can see their fear, their pain, their joy. I love it. The one disciple got their first. He ran hard and fast, yet he did not proceed into the tomb, but Peter went on into take a closer look. I can see how we approach our own search for Him in the same way. Some of us jump and start running. We proceed very fast with our journey in faith, but so often when something unexpected comes upon us, we pause and do not dare to get any closer. Yet, others travel much more slowly. (Probably no one has looked at this story and said that Peter was the more cautious one, but this is how I see it NEW today.) Their journey with their faith in Christ takes them time and they use caution and discernment, before they commit their lives to Him. Oh, but once they commit, their faith is strong and their commitment is everlasting. They become the determined ones, the one that do not waiver and the ones that proceed unhindered when the waves of life are upon them. Still others are passionate about their life with Him, but when life is hard we often do not recognize Him in the pain. We question everything and everyone, wondering how and why. But then, after He has allowed our questioning for a time, He looks at us, takes our face into His hands, and says, "Can you see Me now? I never left you."

Oswald Chambers, "It was not death on the cross that Jesus agonized over in Gethsemane. In fact, He stated very emphatically that He came with the purpose of dying. His concern here was that He might not get through this struggle as the Son of Man. He was confident of getting through it as the Son of God— Satan could not touch Him there. But Satan’s assault was that our Lord would come through for us on His own solely as the Son of Man...The agony in Gethsemane was the agony of the Son of God in fulfilling His destiny as the Savior of the world. The veil is pulled back here to reveal all that it cost Him to make it possible for us to become sons of God. His agony was the basis for the simplicity of our salvation. The Cross of Christ was a triumph for the Son of Man. It was not only a sign that our Lord had triumphed, but that He had triumphed to save the human race. Because of what the Son of Man went through, every human being has been provided with a way of access into the very presence of God."

This is not the same old story. This is the story of my salvation. This is the only way that any of us will ever be able to live forever. This is the only way that we have redemption. I am so thankful that He understands my pain, my weak humanness. I am so thankful that He paid my debt, so that I do not have to live in guilt and condemnation, separated from God forever. After you seek, you shall find. After you cry, you shall sing. After you feel the pain, He will heal. It is about listening to Him. Then, His story is new every day. It is all about the Birth, Death, and Resurrection of Christ. The question is, where are you in His story?

http://utmost.org/his-agony-and-our-access/