Girls Retreat

Tonight I am leaving with a friend, taking a group of teen girls on a retreat for two nights. I was asked to speak with these girls and give them my testimony. If I were their parents I would have some concerns; one of which, what is she going to tell my daughter? I am going to drive it home, that their parents faith will not save them. Here is a little history of my own...

I was raised in a Christian home. We were at church every time the doors were open: Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night. We had people coming into our home after church and we were surrounded by families trying their best to raise their children in "church". I graduated high school from a private Christan school. After high school I went into a mission program, where I studied the bible every day for one year. At the end of one year I was supposed to go to the mission field, but some things happened and I did not end up going. After that I attended a private Christian University, where I got my degree in Elementary Education. All of this did not save me. I was well educated. I grew up in the "right" home. None of this mattered. I was not living for Christ.

In Jn 13:2, 27, 30
"The Devil had already enticed Judas to carry out his plan to betray Jesus... As soon as Judas had eaten the bread, Satan entered into him... So Judas left at once, going out into the night."
I was Judas. I knew Jesus I grew up with him and learned from him. I allowed Satan to entice me and use me for his evil plan. I took the sin of the flesh; I ate it and allowed Satan to enter into me. Then I turned into the night to betray Jesus with my words and my body.

Gal 6:7-15
"Don't be misled. Remember that you can’t ignore God and get away with it. You will always reap what you sow! Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful desires will harvest the consequences of decay and death. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time... What counts is whether we really have been changed into new and different people…They are the new people of God."

I desperately want these young girls to see that it does not matter that they know "who" Christ is, if they do not turn their lives over to Him. They have to make a personal choice. It does not matter what their parents believe, it is them, personally, that matters. It is personal between us as individuals and Christ. I would rather share my life with these young girls and have them see the consequences of sin through me, so they do not have to reap the sorrow that sin harvests.

So parents, this is what I am going to be discussing with your girls. I want you to know, so that you can help them know the consequences of death outside of Christ. Their parents faith will not save them. They have to have a personal faith. I hope that I can help them to find this, so that the sorrows of this world will not overcome them.

I also want them to know that even if they do stray, they can always come home. There are three good points in the parable of the periodical son; sick of home, home sick and home. Even if they think they have spent the last of their inheritance, God is their father and He will always be watching for them to come back to Him.

Romans 12

Jason and I watched "Fireproof" again last night. We love this movie. Honestly, it is not because of the incredible acting, or film making creativity, but because of life. This is real life. Some may think that it is just another type of Christian fairy tale and marriages really cannot recover like that, but I know they can; I have lived it.

Romans 12:1-2, "And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice - the kind He will accept. When you think of what He has done for you, is this too much to ask? Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is."

As I read Romans 12 this morning, I also noticed all that I had written in the margin. This chapter is directed toward the body of the church; my thoughts are directed toward my marriage. Jason and I try so hard to live out Romans 12 in our marriage.

"Be honest in your estimate of yourselves... And since we are all one body in Christ, we belong to each other, and each of us needs all the others." In my marriage, I have to be honest with myself, about myself. I have to look at how I am coming across to my husband. I cannot always be pointing my finger the other way, I have to see myself for who I really am. As a married couple we are one body. In this house we are to live as one with Christ.

"God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well." As I read the gifts of the Spirit, I have to first look into this home. We do have most all of these gifts listed here. We together are better workers for Christ, because we bring our different gifts and combine them into one.

"Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other." I cannot just pretend to love my husband in public, then come home with hate in my heart. I have to genuinely love him. We did not start our marriage with passionate romance; we started it with God, love came later. We just started doing things for the other and looking at the day from the others perspective. Love followed; we now love with a passionate love.

"Be glad...Be patient...be prayerful. When God's children are in need, be the one to help them out. And get into the habit of inviting guests home for dinner or, if they need lodging, for the night. ...And don't think you know it all! Never pay back evil for evil to anyone... Don't let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good."

It all starts here, at home. He asks us to be kind to our spouse first, and when you can do that, open your home to others. Work together as a team, as one body in Christ. We are not perfect, but when one is having a hard day, the other picks up the slack. In Christ, in marriage, we are one. I want good for myself; I want good for my husband. If I want him to treat me lovingly, I have to first treat him lovingly. We are one, and with the help of Christ and following His example, we have a wonderful marriage. Hard times come, but as long as one of us stands strong, we can withstand the fire. When he is having a bad day, I cannot. When I am having a bad day, he cannot. With Christ as the corner stone, He is always the strength we need. We can rely on Him to give us the strength to love, one more day.

Divorce, For the Children?

I feel like I have been approached by a same common theme in many women's lives. I am by no means addressing one certain issue; I am not picking on one person. I am talking about a common belief that is going on in the minds of many. This is the reoccurring theme: "I am leaving my husband, because I cannot take his verbal abuse any longer, and I don't want my children to be raised thinking this is something that they have to let happen to them." This sounds very noble and your "right" as a woman to value yourself. But where are you really guiding your children? How much better are things really, for them? Yes, you may not have to deal with his verbal abuse on a daily bases anymore, but are your children really out of harms way? It seems to me that truly abused women, run. They truly fear for their safety and their children's, and they take them out of the picture. But even then, there are struggles that face them. And lets face it, these situations are rare, and they are on a different level. We cannot use these extreme situations to justify the majority of divorces.

1 Corinthians 7:14, "For the Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not have a godly influence, but now they are set apart for Him." So, you say you are leaving to give your children the right example. Is this scriptural?

I am not pointing fingers. Trust me! I am divorced, but I do not think that God condones divorce. It causes a whole mess of problems. Many times you are just trading one problem for another. I have a good godly life with my husband now, but it does not relieve the guilt of my past. I cannot say that, I stuck it out and look how God was glorified. I can say that He can make anything good, for what the Devil intends for evil, God can turn for good. But this does not give us an excuse to sin. Don't get your feathers ruffled. I am not pointing my finger, you have to work your individual situation out with God Himself, but I am asking that you open your eyes to the truth.

Many say that their children, now live in peace, because of the divorce. Yet, when the other spouse has the children for "their" time with them, who is there to protect the children. Yes, one adult has taken themselves out of the firing range, but they in turn, leave their children totally exposed, unprotected, in the abuser's hands. Please tell me, how is this better? I do not get it. You say that your time with them can repair the damage done, while you are away. How do you repair anything, if you really do not know what is going on? Don't use your children for an excuse to get a divorce. I see this as a lame excuse, to ultimately do as you desire.

Divorce is not an unforgivable sin. I have many heartfelt feelings for those who have a divorce in their past. It just seems to me that people are constantly making excuses to justify their sin. We have to take the blinders off and look at our life with true insight. How does God really see things. Until we are willing to truly look into our own life, we cannot have a truly blessed life with God. I am not saying to undo what has been done, trust me, you cannot, I have tried. What is done is done. I am just asking people to look at life in reality and to stop justifying your own sins. As long as we are justifying our own sin, how are we to show Christ and His grace. For if we are justified; where is Jesus, where is grace?

Having Joy

Philippians 2:3ff, "Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.
Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. Though He was God, he did not demand and cling to His rights as God. He made Himself nothing; He took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. And in human form He obediently humbled Himself even further by dying a criminal's death on a cross."

My worst days, are the days when I am thinking of myself. My worst days are when "I" have a schedule. My worst days are when I am thinking about me. Honestly, the scriptures tell us how to have wonderful, joy filled days; and it is not in thinking about what you want. Some of the most miserable people I know, think only about themselves. In terms that every mother can relate too, children are very selfish. My boys can be happy, playing and laughing. Then the instant things do not go their way, they are on the floor crying. I am the same way. I truly am no different than my little boys. I can be having a wonderful day. Then the instant something happens that I had not planned for, my day can be ruined.

2:13-14, "For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey Him and the power to do what pleases Him. In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing..."
As soon as I understand that I do not have a schedule and that my schedule is really God's schedule, my days go much smoother. I am not here to live a selfish life. I am here to live for God and His desire for me in my life. In order to accomplish this, I must be willing to get my plan interrupted. If I am working for Him; then He is my boss; and if He is my boss and He wants to change the agenda for the day, who am I to argue and complain to my boss. If I worked this way in my paying job for a man, I would not have that paying job for very long. This is how God sees our arguing and complaining. We are arguing and complaining to our boss.

When Jason comes in and asks me to do something completely different than I had already had planned; who am I to argue? Now sometimes I tell him that I cannot, because he did not know that I had something else in mind. But this does not mean that no matter what I keep my schedule. There are times that what he needs is more important than what I had already planned. If I complain and argue with my husband, I am not doing this against him, but against God. For in reality all complaining and arguing is not against humans, but against Christ. When we step back and look at it through this perspective; we may stop all griping.

As children of God we are called to a higher standard. 2:14-3:11, "You are to live clean, innocent lives as children of God... I will rejoice, and I want to share my joy with all of you. And you should be happy about this and rejoice with me... We put no confidence in human effort. Instead, we boast about what Christ Jesus has done for us... I no longer count on my own goodness or my ability to obey God's law, but I trust Christ to save me..." As children of God we are to stop complaining and arguing about things "we" want. We are to be full of joy, no matter what situation we find ourselves. It is not about being happy, but having joy. Joy is that inner peace that keeps us calm and gives us the ability to see things through the eyes of God. What does He want me to do today. It really is not about me...

Sex, Enjoy the Difference

For several years now, I have been on a journey for information. I have suffered so much in my own ignorance, that now I know, I do not know everything. I love learning more and leaning on other people's experience and study. Part of this learning path has been DVR. Many people hate TV, because they do not use it for God's glory, but there are many things on TV that glorify our Lord. You just have to be willing to lay aside your flesh and discover Christ, yes through TV. Two of the programs that I record and watch often are: Ed Young TV; Jimmy and Karen Evans, Marriage Today. These are the programs that I am relying on for some of my writings today.

Often times, people get married and instantly become lazy. One of the most destructive and self blinding things in a marriage is selfishness. People become lazy, because they become selfish. They become self centered, because they become selfish. You hear them say, "he/she disrespects me." If we want a horrible marriage, we need to concentrate on getting respect. A good marriage revolves around giving respect. We are called to marriage, because He wants us to become more like Him. In becoming more like Him, we become less selfish. Jason and I have both been some of the most selfish, self centered people. We spent several years trying to get respect. In this we were constantly offended, because the other was constantly disrespecting us. When we were looking at the other person, and what they were not doing, we suffered. God never tells us to judge another's heart, yet in marriage we feel we have a right to judge the other. Jesus never said, you wash my feet, but He did say to wash the other's.

Another way to look into marriage is the difference between the sexes. Men and women were created different. Many people concentrate on these differences and despise the other person for being different. God created men and women differently for a reason and we need to learn to cherish these differences. In looking back to the different roles we were created to fulfil, we can understand these differences and see them as valuable.

Men were created to be more emotionally detached. Looking back several hundred years... Men were expected to give protection, many times by killing, for their families. If they were made to be full of emotion, then how could they provide for their families. They had to go out, kill to eat, and kill to protect. Then we get upset with them because emotions do not come easy for them. Yet God created them to gain emotional connectedness through sex. But we women do not want to have sex because we have not connected with them emotionally. God created their sex drive so that after they provided and protected they would return to their wives. That is the magnet that keeps them coming home.

Women were created to be the care takers of the home and to give their family the emotional support they need. We have a role of emotionally connecting our family. After our husband has been gone all day working, we are to connect him emotionally with us and our children. Men get upset, because women in general do not have as high of a sex drive. This sex drive is a creation that God created to protect the marriage. If women had as high of a sex drive as men, the alone hours at home would overwhelm her and she would go out seeking sex from other men.

We have to look at things from God's point of view. He created us to serve the other person. He calls us give respect, not demand it for ourselves. He created my husband to protect and provide for our family. He created me to give my family the emotional stability that they need. He created me to help my husband connect emotionally, with all of us. He gave both of us a sexual desire in order to make that connection. If I am constantly looking at what I need, I will miss the wonderful creation that God gave to me. Once I took my concentration off of myself, and started giving my husband what he needed from me, everything started getting better. Once he stopped focusing on what he wanted and started looking at what I needed, every thing started getting better. We both are very satisfied with our marriage, because we stopped looking at our marriage with a limited perspective. Sex is part of this. God created sex to be a wonderful connection in marriage, mess with that and no one can have a wonderful sex life.

Lovers

My husband is my lover. When I read Song of Songs, I do not think of someone else; I do not regret the thought of my lover; I get excited about my marriage. (6:3), "I am my lover's, and my lover is mine." God created marriage, not just for two people living together raising children, but to be physically enjoyable for both. How I pray, my husband will always delight in me and I in him.

Young woman: "Kiss me again and again, for your love is sweeter than wine. How fragrant your cologne, and how pleasing your name... The king is lying on his couch, enchanted by the fragrance of my perfume. My lover is like a sachet of myrrh lying between my breasts...He brings me to the banquet hall, so everyone can see how much he loves me... His left hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me... I am my lover's, and my lover is mine... I am my lovers, the one he desires. Come, my love... Quick! Catch all the little foxes before they ruin the vineyard of your love,... Place me like a seal over your heart, or like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, and its jealousy is as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. Promise me, O women of Jerusalem...Not to awaken love until the time is right... I am chaste, and I am now full breasted. And my lover is content with me."

Young Man: "Yes, compared to other women, my beloved is like a lily among thorns... Let me see you; let me hear your voice. For your voice is pleasant, and you are lovely... You have ravished my heart, my treasure, my bride... How sweet is your love, my treasure, my bride! How much better it is than wine! Your perfume is more fragrant than the richest of spices. Your lips, my bride, are as sweet as honey. Yes, honey and cream are under your tongue. ...You are like a private garden, my treasure, my bride! ...You are a garden fountain, a well of living water, as refreshing as the streams... Look away, for your eyes overcome me! There may be (hundreds of other women). But I would still choose my dove, my perfect one... The young women are delighted when they see her... Oh, how delightful you are, my beloved; how pleasant for utter delight! ...O my beloved, linger in the gardens, how wonderful that your companions can listen to your voice. Let me hear it, too!"

How I delight in my lover, my husband. I try my best to be a living well for his enjoyment. Do you see, how much the man enjoys his wife's companionship? Not just because of her looks, but what comes out of her mouth. Her words are as sweet as honey, they refresh his life. (Proverbs 21:9, 19), She is not a crabby complaining woman, who he runs from. She is a woman that even the other women enjoy! Proverbs 31, "Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She will not hinder him but help him all her life... She is energetic and strong... When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions."

My heart leaps with joy when I hear my husband call my name, he has proven himself to me. He has taken his vows to me (Ephesians 5:25ff) seriously and he has covered me with his love. Genesis 2:24, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave (cling to, adhere, stick fast, to be faithful) unto his wife." My lover pursues me with all of his energy. He works for my love. We work together, in our marriage, for our marriage. Neither one is lazy. Our marriage is work and we reap of wonderful harvest because of this. If you have a marriage that is suffering, look to yourself and what is your contribution. There is never only one side to the story. Are you willing to work for your lover, without complaint? Are you willing to lay your own desires aside and cleave unto your spouse? Are you putting your marriage first, and working for your lover? Do they sense your attraction for them, or do they no longer experience your love? Put your lover first, no matter what. Work for your marriage. Make love with your lover, in everything you do throughout the day.

White Funeral

I feel like I have been in divorce recovery/marriage counseling from God, these past few months. I was asked to be in a community play called "The X." In this play my character is stranded in a small airport terminal. Only to discover, that her ex husband is the only other person there with her. In the play I have to play the role of a woman who does not want anything to do with her ex husband. She does not want to talk to him; look at him; or think about him. Her heart is hard and she does not want to discuss their previous life. He on the other hand, wants to talk things out. He is still trying to justify the divorce and feels the need to talk. He feels this is his perfect opportunity to close the door on some past regrets.

Honestly, this has been crazy. I did not try out for the part. The person who wrote the play, called my husband and asked him if I would be interested in the part. I of coarse, felt like God was calling me to the play, but with no idea of why. I think I am beginning to understand why I needed to do this.

This whole process has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I truly did not expect this. In order to play my character, I had to visit past feelings and express them in front of everyone. But the feelings that I have had to express are nothing like the feelings that I have toward my ex husband. My character is still full of rage and anger toward her ex husband. My feelings are feelings of regret about my part in our failed marriage. I wouldn't yell at my ex. I would tell him how truly sorry I am for my failures. Now that I have been able to step back and see my contribution to our divorce, I have many regrets. So, with the play, I have been able to come full circle with my emotions and dealings with my divorce.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, January 15; "No one experiences complete sanctification without going through a "white funeral" -the burial of the old life. If there has never been this crucial moment of change through death, sanctification will never be more than an elusive dream. There must be a "white funeral"... Have you really come to your last days? You have often come to them in your mind, but have you really experienced them? You cannot die or go to your funeral in a mood of excitement. Death means you stop being. You must agree with God and stop being the intensely striving kind of Christian you have been. We refuse the ceremony and continually refuse our own death..."

I feel like I have been at my funeral for the past couple of months. I have had to dive into my feelings and search them through, til I am sick of searching them. I am tired of crying. I am tired of thinking about my failures. I am tired of searching ways to express this other woman's feelings. I have come full circle with this whole divorce issue and I truly want to put it to death. I know that I will never be "that" person again. I do not want to relate and feel her pain any longer. It is time for the Resurrection! I thought I had this, but obviously God saw my heart differently.

In holding on to my regrets, I thought I was being true to myself and to God. What I have discovered is that in holding on to my past regrets, I have not been able to truly experience the Resurrection that He offers. I have been called by God. He does things differently than I would. "The call is the expression of the nature of the One who calls, and we can only recognize the call if that same nature is in us. The call of God is the expression of God's nature, not ours. God providentially weaves the threads of His call through our lives, and only we can distinguish them." In order to hear His call, we must be willing to walk through death and return to a new life. The only true life that His death can offer.

Enough Love for Today

I love having DVR on my TV. I am not much of a reader. I have many books, but I seldom read all of them, it takes me too long. But with DVR, I can record shows that I want to watch, then watch or listen to them while I am working around the house. Honestly, this is not a DVR advertisement, I have a point. One of the shows that I record is Marriage Today with Jimmy and Karen Evans. Most all of the things that I am going to talk about are directly from this program. I know it is true and it works, because these are direct things that Jason and I have embraced in our marriage. We work every day for our relationship. God created marriage, therefor marriage works, when you let God work your marriage. It takes energy. You cannot get lazy or complacent in your marriage. God has called us to work.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Gen 2:24) The definition of cleave is to cling, adhere, or stick fast to something. To pursue with all your energy, it literally means to work. Marriage is work. We typically get lazy after getting the affection of another person. You fall in love because you work at it. You fall out of love because you take each other for granted. When Jason and I were dating, Jason pursued me with vigor. He would not leave me alone! I had told him that I would not do any pursuing. He took that as an invitation and went full force in pursuing me. He would cook for me, all of the time. He would clean up my mess. He bought me flowers, every day. He was giving me, his best. Then we got married and he quit. He literally did not cook any more or clean up anything. I was there to "serve him." Let me tell you this did not help our marriage. He thought the work was over, and our marriage suffered because of it.

There are 4 common misconceptions about marriage. Now remember, I did not come up with most all of this. (1) "If I marry the right person the emotions will happen effortlessly throughout our marriage. Or if you marry the right person, the emotions are always right." Then what is wrong with Jesus? He is perfect and as Christians we are not always passionate about Him, are we. Serving the Lord, is many times, emotional and passionate. Other times it is just, serving the Lord and there is no passion to it. And He is perfect. No marriage always has the emotion or chemistry flying. Many times it is just work.

(2) "If my emotions change toward my spouse, I must have married the wrong person." Many times we tend to think that we should have married this other person, who showed us interest. It doesn't matter how good they are, when you get married you are going to have to deal with issues. You are going to have to work at the relationship - It only works when you work at it. There is no such thing as a "perfect soul mate." Satan always wants you to believe the "grass is greener on the other side." When you get to the other side you still have to water the yard. Many times the grass looks greener, because you cannot see the poop from where you are standing. Everything looks good from a distance, but when you live with a person all the time, you have to deal with the realities of the relationship.

(3) "Positive events should fuel the relationships long term." In other words, you think that two or three big events a year should sustain her long term. Love is the most perishable commodity on earth. Exodus 16 and the manna principle. God told the Israelites to go out every day and gather manna. Many of them thought that what they had gathered the previous day would last until the next, so they wouldn't have to work as hard. The manna that was kept over night was full of worms and stank. Love is the same way. Many couples live on the point system. They think that since they did a good thing for their spouse the day before, it should last a while. Marriage does not work this way. It is a daily task. If you are married to a normal person, they are going to need you every day.

(4) "If we have no emotions, we have fallen out of love. There is no way to get the love back." Satan wants you to believe that "this is as good as it is ever going to get." God does not see it that way. Satan does not want you to see God working in your future; you doing the right thing now, and God blessing it in your future. You can endure many problems away, it just takes time and you doing the right thing, now. Revelations 2, Jesus is talking to the church in Ephesus. "I have this complaint against you. You don't love Me or each other as you did at first! Look how far you have fallen from your first love! Turn back to Me again and work as you did at first." Repent - change your mind, turn around, stop going in the direction you are going. Just begin doing the right thing. Re due the things you did before.

Jason won my love, when there was no love to be won. He started pursuing me again with vigor. We had a relationship that was dead, but now because we work every day, we have a marriage that is alive. Love is like water. It lasts as long as water. If you give me love right now, I am going to need a little more a little later. If you give me as much as I need today, I am going to need it again tomorrow. So don't be surprised when every day, I still need you.

Through the Eyes of God

Marriage can be the most wonderful experience of your life, or it can give you the most heartache. I have walked both pathways. My first marriage was not designed by God. Not that God did not agree with our marriage, but that He was not the focus of our marriage. Now that I am in a God centered marriage, I can truly see the difference. Jason and I have our marriage vows printed out and placed in a frame on our bedroom wall. We have both been known to read our vows during the day, in order to refocus our mind.

My vows read: Jason, I love you and I know that you love me; I am confident that God has chosen you to be my husband; It is my prayer and desire that you will find in me, the help mate God designed especially for you; And in confidence I will submit myself unto your leadership; For better for worse, For richer for poorer, In sickness and in health, To love and to cherish, Till death do us part.

His vows read: Jenny, I love you and I know this love is from God; Because of this I want to be your husband, So that we might serve Christ together, Through all of the uncertainties and trials, Of the present and future; I promise to be faithful to you and love you; I promise to guide and protect you; For better for worse, For richer for poorer, In sickness and in health, To love and to cherish, Till death do us part.

I am going to borrow from a friend on this one... ["How to love your husband...Phileo love is used for loving husbands, in Titus 2:4. This command requires wives to love them with nothing less than a passionate, tender, affectionate kind of love. I would like to share some of the Greek words and meanings to get a better perspective. Phileo: to be a friend to, (fond of an individual or an object), i.e. to have personal affection for, (denoting personal attachment, as a matter of sentiment or feeling), *Phileo is also very much related to: (Thelo): to determine, impulse, choose or prefer, to be inclined to, gladly, to delight in, desire, intend, love, please, willingly. And, (Boulomai): to will, be willing, be disposed, minded, intend, list. *also related to; (Thumos): passion and,(Nous): in thought, feeling, or will. Thelo and Boulomai, being chiefly of the heart, and Thumos and Nous, being chiefly of the head. 'Is it just me, or do those definitions put a perspective on how to love your husband!' Husbands, in contrast, are specifically commanded to love their wives with an 'Agape' kind of love. Ephesians 5:25(28&33), husbands are told to love their wives "as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. "Agape refers to a self-sacrificing love, it is a love that gives to others even if nothing is given back. (as in 1 Cor. 13). Agape: affection or benevolence, a love-feast, a (feast of) charity, dear love. *Agape is from, (Agapao): to love (in a social or moral sense), beloved." *1]

If you pay attention to the love that you are to give to your spouse, many marriages would heal. Give your wife the love that she needs and give your husbands the love that he needs. So often the love triangle never intersects. Women give the attention and love that they desire, to their husbands. Men do the same thing. He gives the love that he desires, to his wife. Give to the other what they need, not what you need. Then always make sure that the triangle is finished with the top pointing to God. Jason and I have tried very hard to do "our" part in our marriage. I know that my husband needs to know that I am physically attracted to him; he has no doubt. He know that I need a self-sacrificing love given to me; I have no heavy burdens.

In living for Christ, each one of us, are very satisfied in our marriage. We love with the love He commanded each of us, as individuals. Learn to see your marriage through the eyes of God, so that He is glorified through your marriage. There is never "that" heartache when God is leading. He is a God of love and blessings. He designed marriage, so that you can better love Him. Learn to love Him, by loving your mate, the way they need love.

*1 http://21dayswithjanal.blogspot.com/

Worship

I love being home! The Holidays are good, because we get together with family. But home is wonderful, because this is when I can spend my quiet time with Jesus. I love these mornings with my Lord. However, it is the hard times when we grow. It is not always easy for me to be in Texas. My morning reading time is very altered when I am away from home, if it happens at all. This is a worship time that I have come to rely upon with God. I have placed so much value upon this time that I have lost my sight. In the past, my only worship time was Sunday worship. I would go to church, expecting the preaching and singing to fill me enough for the whole week. Now Sunday morning is not nearly as valuable to me as it used to be. I go mainly to be with the believers, so that I can worship together with others. It is not my only time of worship. My mornings have become my time with God. But I have discovered something about my mornings. If I do not get to have them, I am awful. Is this how it is supposed to be? Is this what God desires from me?

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, this morning reads, "Rushing in and out of worship is wrong every time - there is plenty of time to worship God. Days set apart for quiet time can be a trap, detracting form the need to have daily quiet time with God. That is why we must 'pitch our tents' where we will always have quiet times with Him, however noisy our times with the world may be."

I have come to realize that Sundays are not enough. Daily morning time, is not enough. Because when it is not Sunday or my mornings time cannot happen, then what? Am I worshiping God in the chaos of family get togethers? I would have to say, that my fruit has shown, I am not. Otherwise, I would not get so "bent out of shape" around my family. You have to understand that my family is good. They love God and me. They live for Him and they embrace everyone. Holidays and family get togethers would go easier for me; if I were relying on God, and worshiping Him every day, all day. Wow, what a slam!

It is never easy when God shows you, your faults. It is me. I am the one that is hard to please. I am the one that gets my feathers ruffled. It is all about me! I have placed so much value on my morning time, that I have lost focus. Where am I, when I cannot focus on God first thing in the morning? I am lost. It is not about Sunday mornings. It is not about daily morning time. It is about the walk. It is about the journey that He has designed for each of us. It is about every moment of the day. Can I worship Him in the chaos? Can I find Him and lean on Him during the voyage? Am I relying on "my" time, or on Him?

This past Holiday season, has taught me a lot about my walk with God. I have discovered just how far I still need to go. I know that I will never have it all right, but it is the journey and the lessons learned along the way that count. How much of God do I really understand? I would have to say, not much. But it is the walk that matters. My focus is on Him and the sacrifice that He made, in order to have a relationship with me. He is the creator of the universe and He wants each of us to spend the day with Him. How honored we are, and how humbling this realization truly is. We are so small, and yet He chooses to have a relationship with us. I do not want to settle for a moment in the morning. My greatest desire is to spend time with Him all day, every day.

Thank you Father, for showing me my shortcomings, so that we can be closer in union together. I do not want to settle for a moment. My desire is to know You and to be with You. Help me to worship You, every moment of every day.

Focus on Marriage

Focus on the Family is presenting "Focus on Marriage." It is a simulcast presented in every state across the Country. http://www.ccn.tv/marriage/ Go to the web address and find a location near you so that you and your spouse can "learn to see your marriage through the eyes of God..."

Jimmy Evens, with Marriage Today, said that people who have the best marriages are the ones willing to take time out for their marriages. The ones that have the best marriages are the ones he calls marriage seminar junkies. They make marriage and growing together in their marriage a priority, that is why they are happily married.

Take time out for your marriage...

Big day is February 28th.