Through the Eyes of God

Marriage can be the most wonderful experience of your life, or it can give you the most heartache. I have walked both pathways. My first marriage was not designed by God. Not that God did not agree with our marriage, but that He was not the focus of our marriage. Now that I am in a God centered marriage, I can truly see the difference. Jason and I have our marriage vows printed out and placed in a frame on our bedroom wall. We have both been known to read our vows during the day, in order to refocus our mind.

My vows read: Jason, I love you and I know that you love me; I am confident that God has chosen you to be my husband; It is my prayer and desire that you will find in me, the help mate God designed especially for you; And in confidence I will submit myself unto your leadership; For better for worse, For richer for poorer, In sickness and in health, To love and to cherish, Till death do us part.

His vows read: Jenny, I love you and I know this love is from God; Because of this I want to be your husband, So that we might serve Christ together, Through all of the uncertainties and trials, Of the present and future; I promise to be faithful to you and love you; I promise to guide and protect you; For better for worse, For richer for poorer, In sickness and in health, To love and to cherish, Till death do us part.

I am going to borrow from a friend on this one... ["How to love your husband...Phileo love is used for loving husbands, in Titus 2:4. This command requires wives to love them with nothing less than a passionate, tender, affectionate kind of love. I would like to share some of the Greek words and meanings to get a better perspective. Phileo: to be a friend to, (fond of an individual or an object), i.e. to have personal affection for, (denoting personal attachment, as a matter of sentiment or feeling), *Phileo is also very much related to: (Thelo): to determine, impulse, choose or prefer, to be inclined to, gladly, to delight in, desire, intend, love, please, willingly. And, (Boulomai): to will, be willing, be disposed, minded, intend, list. *also related to; (Thumos): passion and,(Nous): in thought, feeling, or will. Thelo and Boulomai, being chiefly of the heart, and Thumos and Nous, being chiefly of the head. 'Is it just me, or do those definitions put a perspective on how to love your husband!' Husbands, in contrast, are specifically commanded to love their wives with an 'Agape' kind of love. Ephesians 5:25(28&33), husbands are told to love their wives "as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. "Agape refers to a self-sacrificing love, it is a love that gives to others even if nothing is given back. (as in 1 Cor. 13). Agape: affection or benevolence, a love-feast, a (feast of) charity, dear love. *Agape is from, (Agapao): to love (in a social or moral sense), beloved." *1]

If you pay attention to the love that you are to give to your spouse, many marriages would heal. Give your wife the love that she needs and give your husbands the love that he needs. So often the love triangle never intersects. Women give the attention and love that they desire, to their husbands. Men do the same thing. He gives the love that he desires, to his wife. Give to the other what they need, not what you need. Then always make sure that the triangle is finished with the top pointing to God. Jason and I have tried very hard to do "our" part in our marriage. I know that my husband needs to know that I am physically attracted to him; he has no doubt. He know that I need a self-sacrificing love given to me; I have no heavy burdens.

In living for Christ, each one of us, are very satisfied in our marriage. We love with the love He commanded each of us, as individuals. Learn to see your marriage through the eyes of God, so that He is glorified through your marriage. There is never "that" heartache when God is leading. He is a God of love and blessings. He designed marriage, so that you can better love Him. Learn to love Him, by loving your mate, the way they need love.

*1 http://21dayswithjanal.blogspot.com/