Worship

I love being home! The Holidays are good, because we get together with family. But home is wonderful, because this is when I can spend my quiet time with Jesus. I love these mornings with my Lord. However, it is the hard times when we grow. It is not always easy for me to be in Texas. My morning reading time is very altered when I am away from home, if it happens at all. This is a worship time that I have come to rely upon with God. I have placed so much value upon this time that I have lost my sight. In the past, my only worship time was Sunday worship. I would go to church, expecting the preaching and singing to fill me enough for the whole week. Now Sunday morning is not nearly as valuable to me as it used to be. I go mainly to be with the believers, so that I can worship together with others. It is not my only time of worship. My mornings have become my time with God. But I have discovered something about my mornings. If I do not get to have them, I am awful. Is this how it is supposed to be? Is this what God desires from me?

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, this morning reads, "Rushing in and out of worship is wrong every time - there is plenty of time to worship God. Days set apart for quiet time can be a trap, detracting form the need to have daily quiet time with God. That is why we must 'pitch our tents' where we will always have quiet times with Him, however noisy our times with the world may be."

I have come to realize that Sundays are not enough. Daily morning time, is not enough. Because when it is not Sunday or my mornings time cannot happen, then what? Am I worshiping God in the chaos of family get togethers? I would have to say, that my fruit has shown, I am not. Otherwise, I would not get so "bent out of shape" around my family. You have to understand that my family is good. They love God and me. They live for Him and they embrace everyone. Holidays and family get togethers would go easier for me; if I were relying on God, and worshiping Him every day, all day. Wow, what a slam!

It is never easy when God shows you, your faults. It is me. I am the one that is hard to please. I am the one that gets my feathers ruffled. It is all about me! I have placed so much value on my morning time, that I have lost focus. Where am I, when I cannot focus on God first thing in the morning? I am lost. It is not about Sunday mornings. It is not about daily morning time. It is about the walk. It is about the journey that He has designed for each of us. It is about every moment of the day. Can I worship Him in the chaos? Can I find Him and lean on Him during the voyage? Am I relying on "my" time, or on Him?

This past Holiday season, has taught me a lot about my walk with God. I have discovered just how far I still need to go. I know that I will never have it all right, but it is the journey and the lessons learned along the way that count. How much of God do I really understand? I would have to say, not much. But it is the walk that matters. My focus is on Him and the sacrifice that He made, in order to have a relationship with me. He is the creator of the universe and He wants each of us to spend the day with Him. How honored we are, and how humbling this realization truly is. We are so small, and yet He chooses to have a relationship with us. I do not want to settle for a moment in the morning. My greatest desire is to spend time with Him all day, every day.

Thank you Father, for showing me my shortcomings, so that we can be closer in union together. I do not want to settle for a moment. My desire is to know You and to be with You. Help me to worship You, every moment of every day.