Enough Love for Today

I love having DVR on my TV. I am not much of a reader. I have many books, but I seldom read all of them, it takes me too long. But with DVR, I can record shows that I want to watch, then watch or listen to them while I am working around the house. Honestly, this is not a DVR advertisement, I have a point. One of the shows that I record is Marriage Today with Jimmy and Karen Evans. Most all of the things that I am going to talk about are directly from this program. I know it is true and it works, because these are direct things that Jason and I have embraced in our marriage. We work every day for our relationship. God created marriage, therefor marriage works, when you let God work your marriage. It takes energy. You cannot get lazy or complacent in your marriage. God has called us to work.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Gen 2:24) The definition of cleave is to cling, adhere, or stick fast to something. To pursue with all your energy, it literally means to work. Marriage is work. We typically get lazy after getting the affection of another person. You fall in love because you work at it. You fall out of love because you take each other for granted. When Jason and I were dating, Jason pursued me with vigor. He would not leave me alone! I had told him that I would not do any pursuing. He took that as an invitation and went full force in pursuing me. He would cook for me, all of the time. He would clean up my mess. He bought me flowers, every day. He was giving me, his best. Then we got married and he quit. He literally did not cook any more or clean up anything. I was there to "serve him." Let me tell you this did not help our marriage. He thought the work was over, and our marriage suffered because of it.

There are 4 common misconceptions about marriage. Now remember, I did not come up with most all of this. (1) "If I marry the right person the emotions will happen effortlessly throughout our marriage. Or if you marry the right person, the emotions are always right." Then what is wrong with Jesus? He is perfect and as Christians we are not always passionate about Him, are we. Serving the Lord, is many times, emotional and passionate. Other times it is just, serving the Lord and there is no passion to it. And He is perfect. No marriage always has the emotion or chemistry flying. Many times it is just work.

(2) "If my emotions change toward my spouse, I must have married the wrong person." Many times we tend to think that we should have married this other person, who showed us interest. It doesn't matter how good they are, when you get married you are going to have to deal with issues. You are going to have to work at the relationship - It only works when you work at it. There is no such thing as a "perfect soul mate." Satan always wants you to believe the "grass is greener on the other side." When you get to the other side you still have to water the yard. Many times the grass looks greener, because you cannot see the poop from where you are standing. Everything looks good from a distance, but when you live with a person all the time, you have to deal with the realities of the relationship.

(3) "Positive events should fuel the relationships long term." In other words, you think that two or three big events a year should sustain her long term. Love is the most perishable commodity on earth. Exodus 16 and the manna principle. God told the Israelites to go out every day and gather manna. Many of them thought that what they had gathered the previous day would last until the next, so they wouldn't have to work as hard. The manna that was kept over night was full of worms and stank. Love is the same way. Many couples live on the point system. They think that since they did a good thing for their spouse the day before, it should last a while. Marriage does not work this way. It is a daily task. If you are married to a normal person, they are going to need you every day.

(4) "If we have no emotions, we have fallen out of love. There is no way to get the love back." Satan wants you to believe that "this is as good as it is ever going to get." God does not see it that way. Satan does not want you to see God working in your future; you doing the right thing now, and God blessing it in your future. You can endure many problems away, it just takes time and you doing the right thing, now. Revelations 2, Jesus is talking to the church in Ephesus. "I have this complaint against you. You don't love Me or each other as you did at first! Look how far you have fallen from your first love! Turn back to Me again and work as you did at first." Repent - change your mind, turn around, stop going in the direction you are going. Just begin doing the right thing. Re due the things you did before.

Jason won my love, when there was no love to be won. He started pursuing me again with vigor. We had a relationship that was dead, but now because we work every day, we have a marriage that is alive. Love is like water. It lasts as long as water. If you give me love right now, I am going to need a little more a little later. If you give me as much as I need today, I am going to need it again tomorrow. So don't be surprised when every day, I still need you.