Jason and I watched "Fireproof" again last night. We love this movie. Honestly, it is not because of the incredible acting, or film making creativity, but because of life. This is real life. Some may think that it is just another type of Christian fairy tale and marriages really cannot recover like that, but I know they can; I have lived it.
Romans 12:1-2, "And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice - the kind He will accept. When you think of what He has done for you, is this too much to ask? Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is."
As I read Romans 12 this morning, I also noticed all that I had written in the margin. This chapter is directed toward the body of the church; my thoughts are directed toward my marriage. Jason and I try so hard to live out Romans 12 in our marriage.
"Be honest in your estimate of yourselves... And since we are all one body in Christ, we belong to each other, and each of us needs all the others." In my marriage, I have to be honest with myself, about myself. I have to look at how I am coming across to my husband. I cannot always be pointing my finger the other way, I have to see myself for who I really am. As a married couple we are one body. In this house we are to live as one with Christ.
"God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well." As I read the gifts of the Spirit, I have to first look into this home. We do have most all of these gifts listed here. We together are better workers for Christ, because we bring our different gifts and combine them into one.
"Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other." I cannot just pretend to love my husband in public, then come home with hate in my heart. I have to genuinely love him. We did not start our marriage with passionate romance; we started it with God, love came later. We just started doing things for the other and looking at the day from the others perspective. Love followed; we now love with a passionate love.
"Be glad...Be patient...be prayerful. When God's children are in need, be the one to help them out. And get into the habit of inviting guests home for dinner or, if they need lodging, for the night. ...And don't think you know it all! Never pay back evil for evil to anyone... Don't let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good."
It all starts here, at home. He asks us to be kind to our spouse first, and when you can do that, open your home to others. Work together as a team, as one body in Christ. We are not perfect, but when one is having a hard day, the other picks up the slack. In Christ, in marriage, we are one. I want good for myself; I want good for my husband. If I want him to treat me lovingly, I have to first treat him lovingly. We are one, and with the help of Christ and following His example, we have a wonderful marriage. Hard times come, but as long as one of us stands strong, we can withstand the fire. When he is having a bad day, I cannot. When I am having a bad day, he cannot. With Christ as the corner stone, He is always the strength we need. We can rely on Him to give us the strength to love, one more day.
2 comments:
I have heard many good things about that movie, I hope to see it soon.
You are right, it starts at home, especially since that is where 'the real me', can show it's ugly self.
I am blessed to have a husband who is committed with me to make this a Godly marriage.
(Through Christ I could do it on my own, but it is so much easier having a husband that seeks to Glorify God)
I am so excited to watch that movie! I have it ordered through blockbuster and it should be here Monday! So excited :) But, I wanted to share something with you. When my dad was doing our marriage counseling before we got married, this was something we talked extensively about, and still to this day Chris and I use it so much! He told us that you have to be careful not to get into a downward spiral, because your actions feed off of each other and can result negatively. For instance, you are on top, feeling good, having a good day and your hubby comes home from a horrible day of work, obviously perturbed and slams the door. This hits you wrong (bringing you down a notch) and you turn to him and say, "What's wrong with you?" He is needing compassion, not snipping (which has now brought him down another notch) and instead of talking to you asks, "Why is this house such a disaster? Didn't you do anything all day?" This in turn brings you down another notch, your response is bad, etc., etc., etc. You get the idea because we've all been through it! It's a downward spiral and before you know it, instead of being on top you are both at the bottom, mad at each other and not even sure anymore after all the hurtful things said where this argument started in the first place. You HAVE TO find the strength in you somewhere to ACT on what is right instead of REACTING to him slamming the door. Instead of being annoyed and letting him know that, you give him a hug and say, "What's wrong honey? Did you have a bad day today?"
Anyway, you get the idea, but it's one of the many great pieces of advice my dad gave us. It's so hard to do at times, especially if both of you are having a bad day, but it's so important to find that strength to be the encourager and up-lifter instead of feeding off of the other persons emotions.
Anyway, though I'd share! Thank you so much for talking with me the other day, letting me cry and just being there:) It was healing! We went to the funeral today and there is now peace through Christ about it all. Thank you for listening to me and being there! Have a great weekend:)
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