Path to Humility

It is truly amazing to me, how much I learn new about God through His word, every day. I am so thankful that Jason signed us up to read the entire bible by August. It has given me direction in my study, and anyone who knows me, knows that I need a little direction. I have been struggling with my past for some time now. I have been dealing with the question of when I was saved? It has been very hard for me. You see, I was raised in the church; I was baptized when I was 12; I graduated high school from a private Christian school; I attended a mission program for one year after graduation, where I studied the bible every day; I graduated college from a private Christian University. I had all of the right credentials, I would even say that I loved God. I did love Him, I just didn't know how to let go of myself. So this has been a burning question with my heart for the past 7 years. When was I saved? Was I saved, then left salvation, then returned again? What are my answers? I am finally feeling a little better and it is because of my reading of the Old Testament. If anyone ever tells you that you don't need to look into the Old Testament, because now we live in the New, I am sorry, they are wrong. It is all the living word, relevant to today, to me right now.

I clicked on Ravi Zacharias the other day, which is nothing new because I listen to him about every day now. Here is the cool part, I was just about to start reading Deuteronomy and this is what he was talking about. I love how things work like this so much for me now. Anyway, I would like to share what I feel God has been telling me. I am so thankful that I do not have to have all of the answers right now. Moses felt the same way, toward the end of his life this is what he said, "O Sovereign LORD, I am your servant. You have only begun to show me your greatness and power." (Deut 3:24) Even Moses felt he did not really know God, so trust me, I know that I do not have all of the right answers.

Here is what I learned from listening to Ravi and reading Deuteronomy. Vs 8:2-5, "Remember how the LORD your God led you through the wilderness for forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and to find out whether or not you would really obey His commands. Yes, He humbled you by letting you go hungry and then feeding you with manna... He did it to teach you that people need more than bread for their life; real life comes by feeding on every word of the LORD... So you should realize that just as a parent disciplines a child, the LORD your God disciplines you to help you." You see I was in the wilderness and my outward appearance was that of an unsaved person. My wilderness was addictions, pornography, stripping, basically everything that the flesh could desire, I did. Anyone who would have seen me, would have said that I was about as unsaved as anyone could get. But here is the catch, God was walking with me through my wilderness.

According to Ravi, there are two main ways to learn humility. Philippians 2:3-8, "Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing. Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had... He made Himself nothing; He took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. And in human form He obediently humbled Himself even further by dying a criminal's death on a cross." So you can either listen and obey God by living your life by Christ's example, or you can find humility by journeying through the wilderness as the Israelites did. I chose to hit my knees in the wilderness, how much easier it would have been to live by Christ's example, instead of traveling through the wilderness. But either way this journey was mine, with my LORD. He never left me in my wasteland. He was with me through all of my struggles. He is my God and He is my savior, I am His child and He will help me see Him either by example or by a long hard journey. Either way Humility is the lesson learned.

God can never make something great out of your life, until you first realize how sinful your heart truly is. Have you been resisting Christ? Have you admitted who you really are? Do you know who He is? Jesus did not come to make bad people good, He came to make dead people live!