Cart Before the Horse

Ahh there is so much. Matthew is full of good things, but to choose just one is so hard. 5:13, "Salt looses its saltiness." Has this statement ever confused you? Did you know that the salt was previously used to heat the fire. That is how it looses its saltiness. Over and over again, it was thrown into the manure, for that is what they burned, and it made the fire hotter. Are you safe in your own little world? You are supposed to go out with others, even the "dirty" ones, so that your love for them can make them burn hot with the love of Christ. 5:20, "But I warn you- unless you obey God better than the teachers of religious law an the Pharisees do, you can't enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The Pharisees knew what they were doing and they followed God in every detail of their life, except their heart. Do we follow God in every detail of our life? Does He have our entire heart? 5:22, "But I say, if you are angry with someone, you are subject to judgment." (Commentary) "Anger in this case refers to seething, brooding bitterness against someone." Are you holding bitterness in your heart? 5:28, "anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Commentary) "Jesus emphasized that if the act is wrong, then so is the intention. To be faithful to your spouse with your body but not your mind is to break the trust so vital to a strong marriage...the deliberate and repeated filling of one's mind with fantasies that would be evil if acted out." There is so much, but I am not dealing with this right now. I have been hit with something else.

6:25ff, "...don't worry... Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Of course not... You have so little faith! ...Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and He will give you all you need from day to day if you live for Him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern." I really did not know that I was consuming my mind with worry, until yesterday. I had a friend ask me to meet with her at the park and we spent the entire day talking. She was sharing her concerns about her life with me, but the entire time God was really talking with me. The statement she kept repeating was, "Don't put the cart before the horse." Oh, how this echoed in my mind. I have been asked to speak to teens about sex and the consequences that come with that. I have been putting so much pressure upon myself, hoping that I can do this all over... "putting the cart before the horse."

Have you ever wanted something probably not for the right reasons. I think I was wanting this more, so that I would not look like a fool (Well, I will be talking about my mistakes, so that part I will look like a fool). But I was hoping this speaking thing would really take off and I would feel some value there. I have been worrying that the entire thing would fall apart and I would not even get a chance. How foolish of me. I did not set this up. God did. If I am to believe that He is in control of everything, then all will be fine. Even if I do not end up doing what I think I am going to do, I will learn something more about Him. Everything that we do, everything that happens to us is to strengthen our relationship and dependence upon Him. Why is it that we feel we have to do anything? If we are putting our trust in Him, He will do it all. All He asks of us is to take the next step that He has laid out in front of us. Everything that we do, it really is not for us. It is for Him, so why worry.

"You have so little faith!" I want to be a person of faith, but then my true faith is revealed. When I worry; when I try to make things in my life play out how I think they should, my true faith is revealed to me. I have so little faith. So with that, "God I am truly sorry. I am sorry that I have not been faithful to You. I am sorry that I have been wanting to take control of my life, when it is not mine to control. Please forgive me, for not trusting You. It does not matter how things play out in my circumstances. What matters is that I have a deeper more personal relationship with You. Thank You, for taking care of me. Thank you, for washing me clean. Thank you, for being in charge, so that I do not have to have such a burden upon me. It is Your cross to bear, Thank You."