Heart

Matthew 21:28-32, "'What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, 'Son, go and work today in the vineyard.' 'I will not,' he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. 'Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, 'I will, sir,' but he did not go. 'Which of the two did what his father wanted?' 'The first,' they answered. Jesus said to them, 'I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him." It is amazing to me, how I can place myself in all of Jesus' stories. If I had not chosen the hard path that I did, I would still be the brother who told his father he would work, but did not. That is how I was living my life. I was trying so hard to appear to be living right. But, the whole time, my heart was seeking other things. Then I became the older brother. He said he would not work for his father, but later changed his mind and obeyed.

Many times we want things to go certain ways in our lives. Then, we only discover that our circumstances really do not matter to God, but our heart is what He is after. This is very sad to me. I have seen it in others and I have experienced it myself. I have a friend who is struggling with love in her marriage, but because of this marriage she is drawing closer to God. If she had married a "strong" Christian man, she would have lived with the illusion of faith, but would only have had his faith for hers. Now since she has struggled so much with her marriage, she has developed a strong relationship with the only one who can truly love her. Her faith in her God has become strong because of her struggles in her marriage. If I had not lived the life that I chose to live, it would have been much harder for me to feel the true forgiveness and love of my God. I am afraid that I would have continued in my walk as the brother that said he would obey, but never really intended to follow his father in the first place.

Matthew 22:37-40, "'Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?' Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." The trials in my life have taught me the love of Christ, for I have been the one crying at His feet, wiping the tears with my hair. I have also learned to love others with a more understanding heart, for I was many times, much worse than they were. We tend to ask God to change our situations, but we are not asking Him to change what really needs changing. Our hearts are what He is after. Until, we come to the point of being able to change our love, He may never change our situation. I look at haw far I had to fall, before my heart was ready to be touched. That is how I see, just how hard my heart really was. What situations do you continually find yourself in? What are you asking God to do for you? Are you looking at your situation through your own eyes, or are you seeing what God is really wanting you to see?

Oswald Chambers, ""Sell all that you have . . ." (Luke 18:22). In other words, rid yourself before God of everything that might be considered a possession until you are a mere conscious human being standing before Him, and then give God that. That is where the battle is truly fought— in the realm of your will before God. Are you more devoted to your idea of what Jesus wants than to Jesus Himself?"

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/08/18/devotion.aspx?year=2009