Goes Around, Comes Around

It can be amazing how our past sins can come and slap us in the face. Ahithophel was the counselor that Absalom used to help him while he was taking over his father's (David's) kingdom. 2 Samuel 16:15-23, "Absalom said to Ahithophel, 'Give us your advice. What should we do?' Ahithophel answered, 'Lie with your father's concubines whom he left to take care of the palace. Then all Israel will hear that you have made yourself a stench in your father's nostrils, and the hands of everyone with you will be strengthened.' So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof, and he lay with his father's concubines in the sight of all Israel."

Ahithophel was the grandfather of Bathsheba. He knew how to get to David. He used the same exact location to get to David, that David was in when he had first seen Bathsheba. David's sin with Bathsheba had now come in full circle. Now his son was going to sleep with his concubines where everyone could see. He was going to feel the sting of his own sin, in its original place of birth. This is the hardest consequences of sin, sometimes the consequences still come even after you have changed your ways. And, sometimes those consequences are felt threw your children.

Though this is how David's sin played out, I don't think that it had to come to this. While David himself had been confronted and this is how his eyes were opened, he had failed to do the same for his children. He missed the opportunity he had to be his children's counselor. Absalom's rebellion started when his brother's sin was not punished by David. This is when Absalom's heart grew hard against his father. Amnon had raped his sister Tamar, and even though David was very angry about it he never brought punishment to Amnon. 2 Samuel 13:22, "When King David heard all this, he was furious. Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar." This hatred turned into revenge and he killed Amnon two years later. It was after this when Absalom decided to take his father's kingdom. If David had punished Amnon when he should have, this may never have happened.

It was David's original guilt about his own sin that I think stopped him from punishing his children when they sinned. How often as parents do we tend to say, "well, I did it." Then we do not hold our children to the accountability standard that they need. What we must realize is that all too often our sins affect them by our not dealing with their sins, all because of our own personal guilt. Or, we see their sins and do not hold them accountable for their sins, all because we did it too. "We survived and so will they." At what cost do we sacrifice our children, all because we did it too. We are to be here as their counselors. Just like David had Nathan as his counselor, and Nathan did not turn a blind eye, we are to be our children's counselors. We are to hold them to the standards that God has given us, not the standards that we lived by. We are to love them unconditionally, but we are to love them in truth and love. There is a difference. If we do not love them in truth, then we cannot really love them. Sometimes the truth hurts. But, love always wrapped in truth is never blind. We cannot turn a blind eye, especially on our children, just because we are afraid of them saying, "You did it too. Who are you to judge me!" As we become older, we cannot hide behind the guilt and fear of our youth. We must learn to stand with our youth as an example and hold our children accountable to God's righteousness, not our mistakes. If you are not your child's counselor, who is?