Eyes Wide Open

 1 Corinthians 4:5, "So don’t make judgments about anyone ahead of time—before the Lord returns. For he will bring our darkest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives. Then God will give to each one whatever praise is due."

I noticed something this morning. I used to think that this verse was talking about "don't judge people for doing wrong."  I'm not so sure this is the intent of this verse.  I think it may be saying not to see someone and think they are "living right", because it ends by saying that God will praise them.  Not that God will condemn them.  There are some among all of us who are wolves dressed as sheep.   Whom do you hear?  Is what you hear from them the same as what you see?  Is what you see and hear from them the same as what others see and hear from them?  Are you praising a wolf and about to become their prey?  Do you see them with truth?  Do you see yourself with truth?

I often talk to my girls about watching who you are dating.  They need to keep their eyes wide open.  They may come to me and ask me about a certain guy, but I can only tell them what the guy is letting me see.   They are the ones who will be able to see him in his true colors, when no one else is looking.  In my opinion someone may be great.  They may have all of the right words.  They may seem to be doing all of the right things, but it is in those quiet moments after the crowd has gone that our true colors ring loud.

When Jason and I were dating I was watching him like a hawk.  He was in continual observation for anything that may give me a red flag.  (Which made me feel like a complete hypocrite, for look at all I had done, but I had learned the lessons the hard way about Not listening.)  I observed how others treated him and how they talked about him.  I wanted to walk into this relationship with my eyes wide open.  I needed to know that I was seeing him for what he truly was!  In my first marriage, I feel I walked into it with my eyes closed tight.  I fell head over heals in "lust" with him and I could no longer see what I needed to see.  I needed to see the truth for what was to come, but I couldn't.  Everything was blocked.  I didn't listen.  I didn't ask.  I didn't want to know and so when I got to the counter to pay for what I had picked, the price I paid was high.  You see, I judged him before the time was right and I slept with him before my eyes could see.

People my have all of the right words.  They may have all of the right things in their pockets, but it is in those moments when they think, "I'm comfortable," this is when their true colors shine.  If you cannot see them because your eyes have been closed, then that is when you are in danger of falling prey to their deceit. I am not just talking about the dating game, this goes throughout life.  We are being called to walk the walk we preach.  I live in a glass house.  I hold nothing secret. (I really hate saying things like this for I am about to be tested!!)  1 Corinthians does not end in verse 5, it goes much deeper.... " I am not writing these things to shame you, but to warn you as my beloved children.  For even if you had ten thousand others to teach you about Christ, you have only one spiritual father. For I became your father in Christ Jesus when I preached the Good News to you.  So I urge you to imitate me."  Dang now that one goes deep!  But isn't this supposed to be our goal as leaders.  As leaders our desire should be to tell others to follow us.  Our goal is to be like Christ to others, so they can walk in our footsteps.  


With that in mind, I must take a good look at myself.  Am I practicing what I preach?  Am I walking in such a way that others can follow me without falling prey to deceit?  "Now, a person who is put in charge as a manager must be faithful.  As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don’t even trust my own judgment on this point.  My conscience is clear, but that doesn’t prove I’m right. It is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide," (4:2-4).  My conscience is clear, but everyone has to walk with their eyes wide open.  No matter who you are following, you must use all of your senses God has given you.  No one is called to follow blindly.  I still use this even in my marriage today.  It has not made me cynical, but it has given me truth and with truth their is true love.


As you walk through this life, who are you following?  Are your eyes wide open?  Are you seeing the truth in their lives?  Are you seeing the truth in your own life?  Who are you?

Walking Through the Fire

1 Corinthians 3:13-17, " But there is going to come a time of testing at the judgement day to see what kind of work each builder has done.  Everyone's work will be put through the fire to see whether or not it keeps its value.  If the work survives, that builder will receive a reward.  But if the work is burned up, the builder will suffer great loss. The builder will be saved, but like someone barely escaping through a wall of flames.   Don’t you realize that all of you together are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God lives in you?  God will destroy anyone who destroys this temple. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple."

I have had my mind and heart on my calling this morning.  I have a great sense of responsibility to my family,  but my family does not stop with just my husband and my children. (They are first, but they are not my only family.)   My family is extended to my church family as well.  So who is my church family?  My family is huge!  They are the people that I see on Sunday morning.  I may not even talk to them, but I see them and their presence strengthens me.  My family are my women friends, some of whom do not go to my "church", but they are my church family.  My family are my college kids.  They are my older children whom I love dearly and I am very excited about their lives blooming.  My family is Live @ Webster Hall, where we gather and learn to love.  My family is my church. (I wish our culture called Sunday morning church, Sunday morning synagogue.  Instead of "we are going to church", "we are going to Synagogue."  This would help us when we talk about our family, for our family is our church.  And the church are the people, not the building we meet in.)   


As I read 1 Corinthians 3 this morning, the whole chapter called out to me, but vs. 13-14 really caught my attention.  What if the judgement day is right now?  What if I am in a time of "testing" to see how I respond to my knowledge of my salvation?  What if everyday of my life is my work, and the struggles with the relationships and the things to be done, are the fires I am to persevere through?  What am I doing today as I walk through this judgement day?  It is not about my salvation.  I am saved and nothing can take that from me, but what am I doing with that salvation?  How am I affecting my family?  How am I loving, or disrespecting His temple?  How is He calling me to work today?  


One of my college kids sent me this verse today, Matthew 6:21, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."  Where is my heart?  My heart is on God and His calling in my life.  So where is my treasure?  My treasure is in my family.  Our hearts desires show us what is important to us.  My treasure is my reward.  My reward is my huge family.  (A small twist on a very big verse ;)


I have been through some very big trials in my life.  It was during these trials that I found myself all alone.  It was the loneliness of the situation that brought me to defeat within that struggle.  This life is hard.  When you find yourself in the courtroom of life facing a judge who is holding the weight of your world in his hand, it is so much more comforting to know that you have a whole team of people who are on your side and who believe in you.   I always had my parents in life, helping me and going to fight for me, but now there is so much more.  There is something that brings great comfort in knowing others will fight for me too. So often we feel we are all alone, and that is how we become defeated!  This is one of my calls.  This is one of my deepest commitments. My God is calling me to show others, they are not alone.  This fight is not a fight to battle by yourself.  This is why He has given us such a huge family.  We are the church and we stand together as one body.  This is my work.  He is calling me to share my life with others and to be with them while they are experiencing theirs.   


Today in this day, does my husband know he is not in the battle alone?  Do my children know I am always here for them?  Do my sisters know and feel my presence?  Do my college kids know they are not walking alone?  If I am doing this job well, I should see my treasure now.  My treasure that He is blessing me with does not have to wait, I should be rich in relationship.  It does not mean that it is easy.  With relationships there are always fires that need to be kindled, but with relationship there are a bounty of blessings that cannot be revoked.  This is the greatest command, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
How is your love walk today?  What is your job?  How is your work coming along as you build within this house of God?

Prayers Answered

When we start believing in Christ, when we have been following Him obediently our whole lives, when we change our lives and start becoming different people, what do we expect Him to really do for us?   What are we looking for?  What do we really expect to happen?  If we have been struggling with our finances, do we expect Him to start sending us more business?  If we have been struggling with our health, do we expect Him to heal us?  If we have been struggling with an addiction, do we expect Him to instantly take those past desires away?  The list can go on and on.  I only named a few things that have been my own personal struggle.

I cannot think of any passages anywhere in the bible that tell us, "once we "believe" our lives will become easy and all past hurts and struggles will just disappear."   If there are let me know!  But in my small amount of reading just this morning, I did see something that we are promised...

1 Corinthians 1:4-9, " I always thank my God for you and for the gracious gifts He has given you, now that you belong to Christ Jesus.  Through Him, God has enriched your church in every way—with all of your eloquent words and all of your knowledge.  This confirms that what I told you about Christ is true.  Now you have every spiritual gift you need as you eagerly wait for the return of our Lord Jesus Christ.  He will keep you strong to the end so that you will be free from all blame on the day when our Lord Jesus Christ returns.  God will do this, for He is faithful to do what He says, and He has invited you into partnership with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."

Now for my personal experience.  When Jason and I almost lost everything we had, because we were caught upside down in our finances, did we expect God to come in and salvage everything with no effort from us?  We wanted Him to, we begged Him to send us business!  It did not happen that way.  Everything that I held with great importance was stripped away.  Because of my health, which I was begging God to heal me from my MS, my food in my home was of great importance.  I wanted to be a stay at home mom and home-school my boys. Everything changed for me.  I had to start working to help my husband with the bills and our food budget was drastically reduced!  I was tempted to become very resentful of Jason for "not taking better care of us."  I was tempted to blame God for not coming in and playing Santa Clause for us and giving us gifts that I knew He could give us for our "good behavior."  But I worked very hard not to let my emotions take me away into bitter land.  Through turning to Christ, instead of turning away from Him, I found a spirit of thankfulness for what we did still have. 

I have worked very diligently to change my life.  I have had to submit when nothing in my body wanted to submit.  I have had to break the strongholds of addictions, of feeling abused, of finances, of health issues, the list could go on and on and so often I am still coming up with something else which I am having to lay aside.  But, for the sake of Christ, from the gifts of my Lord I am able to enjoy this life and see the truth that has been promised me.  I have been promised a relationship, a personal encounter with God.  "God will do this, for He is faithful to do what He says, and He has invited you into partnership with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."  


I can promise you this, this life is not easy!  I can promise you this, our Lord and Savior is so worth the effort.  It is through God that I have found freedom.  It is through Christ that I can look in the mirror every morning and remember that I am worth the effort.  It is through Christ that I have discovered my spiritual gifts.  I can speak softly to others, instead of lashing out at them.  I have knowledge that I would not have without God's help.  What are you expecting of God?  


1 Corinthians 1:30-31, "God has united you with Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made Him to be wisdom itself. Christ made us right with God; He made us pure and holy, and He freed us from sin.  Therefore, as the Scriptures say, 'If you want to boast, boast only about the Lord.'”

Our prayers should not be that we "get" something from God, but that we become one with Him.  It is in becoming one with Him that our eyes become open and we can see all of the good and perfect gifts He gives us each day.  “No eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.”  My prayers have been answered in ways that I could have never imagined.  We appreciate our money in ways we could have never appreciated it without this struggle.  I can see an addiction coming upon me and stop it before it takes hold of my life.  I know how to nourish and love my body like never before.  Even if one day we loose everything and have to move in with my parents, even if my body stops working completely and I can no longer function physically like I can now, I can still rejoice in the Lord.  "But people who aren’t spiritual can’t receive these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them and they can’t understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means.  Those who are spiritual can evaluate all things, but they themselves cannot be evaluated by others.  For, 'Who can know the Lord’s thoughts? Who knows enough to teach him?' But we understand these things, for we have the mind of Christ," (2:14-16).

Thinking of Prayer as Jesus Taught

What are your prayers?  Can you see God working in you through the hard times you are having?  Is your heart becoming soft, or bitter?  The answer to these questions reveal our hearts to us.  How is God answering our prayers for our own hearts, for our own protection?

Does He Love Me Still

Matthew 11:2-6, "John the Baptist, who was in prison, heard about all the things the Messiah was doing. So he sent his disciples to ask Jesus,  ^'Are you the Messiah we’ve been expecting, or should we keep looking for someone else?'
 Jesus told them, 'Go back to John and tell him what you have heard and seen—  the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, and the Good News is being preached to the poor.  And tell him, ‘God blesses those who do not turn away because of me.’”

So many times in my life I have wanted something, then waited to see if I was going to be answered.  Not really answered.  I waited to see if I was going to receive what I was asking for.  Not really asking for.  I  waited to see if I was going to get what I wanted.  Not really waited for.  I impatiently distressed over what I wanted. 

Have you ever found yourself in a situation that you found unfair?  Have you wanted something so bad that you thought were going to die if you did not get your desires fulfilled right away?  Have you ever placed your worth in those desires?  Have you ever placed God's competency in those desires?  Are you going to believe in Him only if you get your way, or can you still love Him while you wait?  Are you going to live in bondage to your situation, or are you going to live free no matter what?

I love to listen to teachings about the Jewish Jesus.  (I don't have time to read much, so I listen while I work.)  The other day I learned something new!  I LOVE LEARNING SOMETHING NEW!  I have been taught that John's question here was because he was doubting.  While this may be true, there is even more if you understand the Jewish way of questions and answers.  What John was wanting to know was, "Are you going to do for me what the scriptures say?" Isaiah 42:7, "You will free the captives from prison, releasing those who sit in dark dungeons."  Jesus quoted the entire scripture for John, but left out that one very important part.  He was not going to set John free!  John knew exact what was happening to him by the way Jesus answered him.  Now it was time for John to not get offended by Jesus' answer.  Now it was time to accept what he didn't want to hear.


For a long time I stayed away from reading the gospels.  All over the place Jesus healed the sick.  Time and time again He would say, "Your faith has healed you."   All over my bible I have written in it, begging God to heal me. While I waited, I turned away from Him.  I didn't completely turn away, I still loved Him, sought Him, prayed to Him, taught others about Him, but every time I get to the healing powers something inside me cries out to Him and I have a very hard time accepting His answer for me.  Part of it is because of my "religious" background.  I have been taught that if I do not keep on asking, I am somehow giving up.  Like not asking anymore is selling God short.  I have been taught that "healing" is all important.  While much of what I have learned is true, not all of it is correct in the answer that I know God has given to me.  And it is in His answer to me that my doubt comes into play.  It is in His answer to me that I am in danger of turning away, not from Him exactly, but in turning away from His true goodness to Me.

And why can't I accept His answer for me?  Why?  Because His answer for me is a whole lot of hard work!  I want it to be easy.  I want Him to come in and change everything for me.  I don't want to have to be different from others I see around me.  I want to live as they live, eat what they eat, drink what they drink.  I do not want to have to say "no" to something that looks so sweet.  I want to indulge.  I want to wallow in my pity and play the victim.  I want to say, "Its not fair!"  But this is not His plan.  Can I accept His plan with gratitude for what I do have?  Can I know how much He values me, even though I struggle?


Have you ever been in this situation?  Have you come to this one thing in your life, that one thing that really tells you what your true worth is in His eyes?  Now that you are there, do you doubt His love for you?  Did you ever get your answer, but not accept that answer, and in return, turn away?  It does not have to be dramatic.   It does not mean that we have to go off of the deep end and  start "sinning".  But it does mean that one part of our lives, that part that we have a hard time accepting, that part of our relationship with Him is affected.  And because of that one part, our relationship with Him is not full.  It is like when I have a hard moment with my husband, our whole marriage is not in jeopardy, I just may not snuggle up to him.  That warmth, that intimacy that I cherish so much, that one little part is affected and everything may seem the same, but on the inside I know I am holding something back.


The questions I must ask myself are these, can I love Him intimately no matter what His answer for me is?  Can I accept His answer and wait in great expectation to see what is going to come next?  Can I live free and with great joy, no matter what is to come?  Can I believe He still loves me?  What are your questions?  What are His answers? 

Utmost for His Highest The delight of despair 

Big Visions

Ahh, it has been a while since I felt like I could sit down and write! (No doubt, I don't even recognize this site and hope it comes out correctly with all the changes Blogger is making!) Hopefully this summer will give me a chance to breathe and fill that much needed alone time with God. I want to hear Him and be able to spend sometime writing things out, this seems to be when I learn the most. Everything that I put down into words helps me to really look at the truth which is in front of me. I need that and love that!

Spring time, a time of new beginnings and fresh starts. It is a time to listen and prepare for what lies ahead. I have had a theme recently in my life. I pay close attention to my themes. When I have one I know that God is trying to show me something. Every Spring for the past couple of years I have had a vision. It is a vision .... (A big vision and I kind of feel like a fool even telling you or anyone about it) In my vision, in my dream, I am talking to a very large crowd of mainly college kids. I can see the entire event! I see a play that depicts what the lesson is about. I see the musicians rocking the place out. I see me speaking. I can see it! It is a dream, a vision that God is giving me, something that inspires me to reach deeper and strive harder for more than what I am already doing. But with this vision there comes some stipulations and other things that I know nothing about. With my "big vision" in mind, what is my ultimate goal? I must look at what is right in front of me. I must concentrate on the here and now, but I am always looking ahead. My ultimate goal, my really big vision was given to me many years ago and this is the real goal I have to concentrate on while I am running this race and striving for "the big speaking opportunity". So in all reality I have two "big" visions. One is what I am "doing" (speaking to others), but it is not the real one. The real one is this one, I desire to be a friend of God. Many years ago I read this, Exodus 33:17, The Lord replied to Moses, “I will indeed do what you have asked, for I look favorably on you, and you are my friend,” (NLT).

Whatever I am doing, wherever I go, I want to be a friend of God! If my "big" vision, my dream, is to be speaking in front of a really big audience and this takes me closer to my ultimate vision of being a friend of God, then I want it like non other. But if that vision gets in the way of being a friend of God, then please God don't let me have it. In keeping what is really important right in front of me, I will not get disappointed if my dream does not come true. I can relax and see that God's real desire for me, His vision for my life is for me to become His friend.... and I can live with that.

Philippians 3:14, "... I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us." I press on to reach the end of this race, my award is hearing God tell me, "You are my friend." That is my reward, no matter what I do or do not do here in this world. This is my ultimate vision. If I can keep this true prize in front of me while I run this race for what I see God calling me to do then I don't have to worry about missing Him. I don't have to worry about doing the "wrong" thing, because He will keep me close to Him and become my friend. It is not about winning His approval by what I am or am not doing. It is all about spending time with Him, just hanging out no matter where we go. Friends spend time together. They love each other and accept each other. They desire to always be together.

This is my vision. What is yours? Is your vision all about what is going on in your physical life? Are you able to separate and ask Him what He really wants with you? Can you accept what He truly desires, or are you going to be disappointed if you cannot achieve that dream? This is a wonderful life. Whether you enjoy it or not depends on your expectations. What are they? All of our choices whether they are a good choice or a poor one depends on these few questions: How is this going to affect my relationship with God, with my family, with my friends.  How are others to be affected if I do___?  If we are having a hard time with what is going on in our life, how does what we do affect these things?  Always keeping your priorities in this order will help you make the appropriate decisions.  We all have to continually be checking ourselves.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.  Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.  Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.  No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

http://utmost.org/the-patience-to-wait-for-the-vision/