Miraculous Healing

I have so many unanswered questions. I am always considering the ways of God and trying to know Him more. I love to watch people and try to relate to them. I wonder where they come from and what has happened in their lives to bring them to this point in life. I watch nature and try to connect with the great and beautiful gift of the wild. I watch. I listen. I learn and love all things created and give glory to the Christ who is the Great Creator. But this is where I get stumped the most, just when I think I understand more, the more I find I am at a loss for words. So this writing is in admittance that I do not know, but something that I am trying to learn. A pondering of the many why's, how's, when's, and what if's that go through my mind.

Why do I not see the miraculous healings in this land of America that I hear about in other countries? (I believe they happen, but I haven't seen them personally.) I have heard all about so many wonderful, miraculous things and yet here I am turning to science and Dr's. Now don't get me wrong. I've had some amazing recovery myself and I thank God for each and every blessed day. But what is holding us back? What is holding me back from receiving the miracle of healing that I know is available from a most powerful God. Is it all about me? Am I not just part of the elect, but part of the elite? Did Christ come for a few or for the world? Where do I sit this morning as I battle for my life? I am in great anticipation as I look at what lies ahead and in no way do I want to boast before the battle is won, but my soul is searching for those unanswered questions that are ever present.

"As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. 'Rabbi,' his disciples asked him, 'why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?'
'It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,' Jesus answered. 'This happened so the power of God could be seen in him. We must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us by the one who sent us. The night is coming, and then no one can work. But while I am here in the world, I am the light of the world.'” (John 9)

This happened so the power of God could be seen through him, but what if in our culture no one would see that power because of our over loaded hyper active culture. What if the healings would bring no credit to God? What if He just loves everyone and is calling everyone to heath and healing? (Not just the Elite!) What if part of my journey is for science to show that He is the Intelligent Designer and that through science, science is ever discovering His intelligent design.

Stem Cell research boggles my mind. We have within us these little cells that are made just for the repair of our bodies. They intelligently go out in search of what is hurting and they adapt to it and repair it. Amazing! That is a miracle within each and every one of us. Another interesting discovery is that when science tried to make an excuse for abortion and used the stem cells of these babies (Embryonic Stem Cell), many times they did not repair, but caused cancer. It is not in the taking of life, but in the giving of life and that life is in each and every one of us individually. We are the temple of the Most High God. If He loves the world, then why wouldn't He try and show Himself to everyone and not just the few!

I know that He came to me before I was "good". He showed me His love before I was ready to give up my life for Him. Am I so important that I cannot be a part of the healing in so many others lives who do not yet know Him. When I think of it that way, it takes the sting out of my heart. I am not part of the elite, but the elect. That elect is something offered to the whole world, not just the elite. So here I go on a very important part of my journey with MS, I have been accepted to be part of an Adult Stem Cell Research where they will take my own cells and place them back in me so that repair can start. I may not get a whole healing, but I can be part of something bigger and that will help the whole world see His power, His Intelligent Design, within each and every one of us. And that is worth it!

MY UTMOST FOR HIS HIGHEST

Until the whole world Hears!

Hope for Tomorrow

I've been sitting here this morning looking out my window into a world that often has brought me such pain, but this morning I have a new breath. I realize that I have a new hope. Not that I live in despair, but in the ever present reality of my MS. I've struggled, fought, scummed to, battled, and learned more than I really ever wanted to know about myself over these past 19 years. In my mind, my debilitating disease is ever present. Every time someone even mentions doing any kind of physical exercise, my mind goes to fear of, "what would I have to suffer if I did the same." My tears are always right behind the surface, in lament of the unknown. I have lamented more over my affliction than I really ever care to admit. Through the hope of this new day I can better see my hearts cry and my hearts healing.

Yesterday, my mom (She is my ever present warrior who is always searching for me when I am ever ready to give up!) called me and encouraged me to look at a web site on Stem Cell Therapy. I did and immediately filled out the candidate application form. I have no idea if I will even be selected, but my affliction and what I have learned through my suffering is worth sharing.

Paul wrote Philippians while he was in prison. It is often referred to as the book of joy and of rejoicing, but how can there be great joy while you are being held captive in chains that keep your hands from moving freely as you wish? Paul received his joy through the lives of others, the obedience demonstrated to him through Christ, and the hope for the future. 
You see today another shackle has been removed. Not that anything has changed, but I can see a little better about what has bound me. I live in fear. While trying to encourage others, I have a fear that is stopping me from moving forward and embracing the life to come. You see, when I think of the future, I don't really think of life, but of death, and how I am not going to be able to do things. While on one hand, this has pushed me to live more for today, but this has stopped me from being able to prepare for tomorrow with full hope and joyful expectation. I embrace today, but my tomorrows hold me captive. I live through the joyful expectations through others lives. I rejoice when I see my friends find faith and freedom through Christ. I can see their futures bright in front of them as they learn to walk through life without those ties that have bound them. I am ever encouraged, like Paul, when I see that through my life others have been led to a more abundant life in Christ. "I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God." (Philippians 1:9-11)

I too, want to see what really matters.  What will bring me joy in the hopes of tomorrow? Is it that I am selected to have the stem cell treatment and that it works? Or is it that I can rejoice in my tomorrows even through the uncertainty of the unknown? I want to work with my husband, so I have been studying for my real estate exam, but my imprisonment has always held me back from fully embracing that future life. 
I thank God that I have sought Him and this relationship even through my bondage. I do not lament about the lessons that I have learned about myself during my imprisonment. Just here recently, I have discovered a new taste for life. I have always wanted to live a life of indulgence with food. I know a pretty pathetic example, but it is where I am. I just now embraced what is truly healthy for me. After a lifetime of indulgence and gluttony I have finally found freedom in taking care of me. "I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us." (3:12-14)

I can breathe a new breath this morning. Perseverance to grab hold of a future that has always been before me, but that I never dreamed I could grasp. It doesn't mean that everything will go accordingly as I hope, but I can at least find freedom in the future through that hope that has never really left me, but was just hidden because of the chains that weighed me down. Nothing has changed, only my perspective on life has been affected. What has bound you to this world? Is it your own self-centered view, like mine, that has kept you from embracing the hopes for the future? Are we so tied up within our own struggles that we cannot embrace others and find the true joy in their accomplishments? Can we see the ever preset lesson that we are the temple of the Most High God? Do we embrace that lesson with joy, or lament? Today, I can thank my God for the memories of yesterday and the hope for tomorrow.

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." Rejoice, Rejoice!  We really never know what tomorrow may bring.... So we may as well Rejoice in great expectation for a bright future with Christ, instead of lamenting when in reality we don't know anyways...

Bounds Burned by Fire

What are the ties that bind? What is it that traps us into thinking there is no other way? What is it that keeps us as a prisoner in our own little worlds?

In the book of Daniel we find the people overcome and taken prisoner. During this time of fear and chaos, God is still present and working. He is working to bring His people back to himself and to restore their hearts for Him. Daniel, Meshack, Shadrach, and Abendego are some of the remnants found that have not lost sight of God. They have been taken into King Nebuchadnezzar's palace where they would be taught the local customs and trained in their new ways. In their attempts to keep focus and to not be totally consumed with their imprisonment, they keep hold of their dietary requirements and ask to be excused from the kings lavish meals. This sets them up for success. Several years later the king builds a statue, a god to himself and commands that all shall bow down and worship. Daniel's three friends found themselves before the statue, but refused to bow to another god. This infuriated the king and he ordered them to be thrown into the furnace. "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if He doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up,” (3:17).
In a furious rage Nebuchadnezzar had the three men bound and threw into a blazing hot furnace. But, something amazing happened. When the king looked into the fire, he saw not three, but four men walking around. He called them to come out and examined the three men. The only things that were burned were their bonds. Not a hair was singed. Their clothes were not scorched, and they didn't even smell of smoke. (Daniel 1-4, what I have written does not encompass the whole of the story. Please read it for yourself.)

When we are faced with our own fire, there are three scenarios that can be taken from this story of old. Three scenarios that I wrote down years ago while listening to Beth Moore that I would like to share. Old lessons that are still teaching me new each day...
First, many times we are delivered from the fire and our faith is built. We may see an approaching disaster coming in our life and we are completely delivered. We may have the vision to see and we can learn what we need to without having to go through the hard times. Our faith is strengthened without the furnace. I know so many people who never even came close to the life that I once had, but yet they have maintained a very strong relationship with God. Their purity has kept them strong and their devotion seems to have never wavered. They were delivered from the fire.

Second, we are delivered through the fire. This is my example. I seem to have to learn the hard way. My most recent episode with God has been my MS. Of coarse, this is not a short term event (almost 19 years). This has been a lesson that has continually bound me in my own prison. Food, I can relate with this part of the story very well. In order to be able to function, I must eat a very strict diet. I loathed this for years. Every time I would see someone enjoy a bowl of ice cream, really any desert, anything with gluten, corn, potatoes, beans.... lets just say FOOD, I would throw myself a pitty party. I am supposed to keep a very tight reign on what is allowed to enter my body. If I don't, I find myself bound in a prison. My body just wont work. My legs no longer carry me. My hands no longer feed me. I discover I am bound by unseen chains that try and destroy me.

I begged God for years to heal me. I wanted my chains removed and I wanted to be able to live as others around me. I wanted to join the culture. Well, Thanksgiving my prayers were answered in a most unusual way. I Lost My Ability to TASTE! No joke, my taste buds were affected. Now this is what I have discovered. I can taste only what I am supposed to eat, everything else has lost its flavor. For example, my family recently went on a cruise, which I loved. During this time I tested my diet restrictions based upon what tasted good. I got desserts every night, but didn't really enjoy them. One of my all time favorites has been white chocolate. I got my white chocolate mouse ready to indulge, only to discover that I could taste nothing but the berries that were placed on top and that lined the bottom. My diet has not changed, but my hearts desire has.

Third, we may be delivered by the fire into His arms. I am not one that sugar coats anything. Sometimes, we are taken from this life into His arms through death. He is the author of life and He can choose to deliver us into His arms into an everlasting life, that through His resurrected life we are guaranteed to never see trials again. Often, it is not for the deceased to learn something, but for those left behind. Now is the time to ask, what are we to learn from this? Are we enjoying the life He has blessed us with? Are we living each day to the fullness of life offered? Or are we harboring a bitterness that has soured our enjoyment of life offered to us, all because we are unwilling to understand that each person here is a direct representation for us of the gifts we do have?

I am in great admiration of those who live their life gallantly for their Lord. We all know them, the ones who stand out during great fires, but seem to never loose their faith. Those that encourage us to live this life to the full, they are my hero's. Can you see your blessings through the fire? After you have been through the fire, do you understand that you are not singed and that you do not even smell of smoke? Who are your hero's? Are you a hero for others?

Are you Listening to God?

Are you being delivered from the fire, through the fire, or by the fire?