Known by Love

I heard a new teaching for me.  RVL talks about how we are the temple. I used to think that we, individually, were the temple of God. But lets take another look. What if it is we, plural? "Upon this rock I will build my church." Matthew 16:18. Christ is the most important rock, the corner stone, and we are to be standing stones built together in unity to represent Him here, now. How are they to know us? How are people supposed to recognize us?  Is it because we do not live like others and go out getting drunk and having sex with everyone. Yes, but there is more.  It goes deeper.

One of the things that all of us have recognized about the "churches" is that none of them seem to get along.  There are different doctrines and beliefs within each individual church and they all seem to be claiming that they have the right way. It is within this separation that Christ is found guilty and the rest of the world is turned off by our own bile within our own mouths.  Do I agree with each church and their doctrines?  Do you agree with each person in your life? Of coarse we don't, but how do we handle those disagreements? It is only through respect and love that the essence of love can be seen.  

If we are the stones that are being built while we walk out our daily lives, we stumble and roll down hills that refine our sharp edges and break off some of our sharp corners. It is out in our daily life where we learn about love and learn what hate makes us feel like.  We love, suffer, and cry within our relationships with others. Each swipe with the chisel is carving us into the perfect stone designed specifically for each one of us. Then, what we are supposed to do is come together in worship of the same God who loves us perfectly. As we come together, we form the temple of the Most High God. It is not just about me.  I alone am not the temple, but I together with you, we form the temple. I am a stone, just one part of the entire body of the temple. You are one part that offers another color of the mosaic glass that glows as the Son beams in though and enriches the texture of His artwork. Each is vital to the whole.  Some seem to go unseen while others are right out in front. However, each is touching the world individually.  Each is indispensable in showing Christ to others.

Romans 12:9-21 helps us see how to love others.  This does not mean that we let others run all over us and treat us poorly.  Oswald Chambers   "Jesus did not commit Himself to man... for He knew what was in man." As we relate and join with others in this life, we do not give ourselves to them.  We give ourselves to Christ.  We love and join with Him in loving the world as He loved the world, but we do not give ourselves over to the world.  We give ourselves over to Him who loves us authentically and without blunder. That is where we feel true love. Then we can go and show His love to those we are in relationship with/good or bad. This gives us perfect love and helps us guard our hearts so that we are not devastated through life's wounds. We do not have to take their struggles and place their wounds within our own hearts. We do not have to react with how they treat us.  We can remain calm and at peace no matter the storm they are in. With His calmness upon our own hearts He can become known by our love. We are the stones that together build His temple, the church. Are we displaying His love while the world watches us? Not only will others know Christ within us by our love, but we will be known by Him through our love. It may just be that we each just need a few etiquette lessons ;) 

Hope for Tomorrow

I've been sitting here this morning looking out my window into a world that often has brought me such pain, but this morning I have a new breath. I realize that I have a new hope. Not that I live in despair, but in the ever present reality of my MS. I've struggled, fought, scummed to, battled, and learned more than I really ever wanted to know about myself over these past 19 years. In my mind, my debilitating disease is ever present. Every time someone even mentions doing any kind of physical exercise, my mind goes to fear of, "what would I have to suffer if I did the same." My tears are always right behind the surface, in lament of the unknown. I have lamented more over my affliction than I really ever care to admit. Through the hope of this new day I can better see my hearts cry and my hearts healing.

Yesterday, my mom (She is my ever present warrior who is always searching for me when I am ever ready to give up!) called me and encouraged me to look at a web site on Stem Cell Therapy. I did and immediately filled out the candidate application form. I have no idea if I will even be selected, but my affliction and what I have learned through my suffering is worth sharing.

Paul wrote Philippians while he was in prison. It is often referred to as the book of joy and of rejoicing, but how can there be great joy while you are being held captive in chains that keep your hands from moving freely as you wish? Paul received his joy through the lives of others, the obedience demonstrated to him through Christ, and the hope for the future. 
You see today another shackle has been removed. Not that anything has changed, but I can see a little better about what has bound me. I live in fear. While trying to encourage others, I have a fear that is stopping me from moving forward and embracing the life to come. You see, when I think of the future, I don't really think of life, but of death, and how I am not going to be able to do things. While on one hand, this has pushed me to live more for today, but this has stopped me from being able to prepare for tomorrow with full hope and joyful expectation. I embrace today, but my tomorrows hold me captive. I live through the joyful expectations through others lives. I rejoice when I see my friends find faith and freedom through Christ. I can see their futures bright in front of them as they learn to walk through life without those ties that have bound them. I am ever encouraged, like Paul, when I see that through my life others have been led to a more abundant life in Christ. "I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God." (Philippians 1:9-11)

I too, want to see what really matters.  What will bring me joy in the hopes of tomorrow? Is it that I am selected to have the stem cell treatment and that it works? Or is it that I can rejoice in my tomorrows even through the uncertainty of the unknown? I want to work with my husband, so I have been studying for my real estate exam, but my imprisonment has always held me back from fully embracing that future life. 
I thank God that I have sought Him and this relationship even through my bondage. I do not lament about the lessons that I have learned about myself during my imprisonment. Just here recently, I have discovered a new taste for life. I have always wanted to live a life of indulgence with food. I know a pretty pathetic example, but it is where I am. I just now embraced what is truly healthy for me. After a lifetime of indulgence and gluttony I have finally found freedom in taking care of me. "I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us." (3:12-14)

I can breathe a new breath this morning. Perseverance to grab hold of a future that has always been before me, but that I never dreamed I could grasp. It doesn't mean that everything will go accordingly as I hope, but I can at least find freedom in the future through that hope that has never really left me, but was just hidden because of the chains that weighed me down. Nothing has changed, only my perspective on life has been affected. What has bound you to this world? Is it your own self-centered view, like mine, that has kept you from embracing the hopes for the future? Are we so tied up within our own struggles that we cannot embrace others and find the true joy in their accomplishments? Can we see the ever preset lesson that we are the temple of the Most High God? Do we embrace that lesson with joy, or lament? Today, I can thank my God for the memories of yesterday and the hope for tomorrow.

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." Rejoice, Rejoice!  We really never know what tomorrow may bring.... So we may as well Rejoice in great expectation for a bright future with Christ, instead of lamenting when in reality we don't know anyways...

Reflections on Prayer

I received a text question last night from one of my friends about prayer. He started off with scripture verses Matthew 7:7-8, “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." And also Hebrews 11:1, "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." Here were his questions: Have you ever been unsure of what to ask God for? How did you make up your mind?

As I sit here thinking of this young man's heart and his prayer, my mind reels with my own prayers and how each one was answered, mainly through the unanswered ways of God. Let me give some examples, maybe this will make it more clear as my mind sifts through and unfolds the "easy" examples.

With my first pregnancy I did not find out the sex of the baby until it was revealed at birth. My heart was hard against men and I was afraid that if I found out it was a boy child, I would not love him. Every morning and evening I begged God, "Please give me a girl.  Please!"  I was giving God a chance to change His mind and turn the child into a girl at the very last second if He needed to. Delivery time, the doctor placed the baby on my stomach and I looked at my SON! Betrayal... for both of us is all I could feel. "How could you do this to me!" I cried out to God. "How could you do this to him? I cannot raise a man child! I hate men!"

For 5 days I reeled with unanswered questions. 5 days, until I found myself on a plane out of Gunnison watching the nurses take care of my baby as we were flight for life to Denver. My world was spinning. My prayers were begging God not to take him and my mind was determined that I would love this man child.

Another time, oh whose kidding, for years I begged God to take away my MS. I begged and pleaded with Him to heal me. I had memorized the entire book of James. I was seeking God like no other. My life was changed and I no longer desired the same things. I was living Good and I knew the scripture. So I took James 5 to our church leaders. "Are any of you sick? You should call for the elders of the church to come and pray over you, anointing you with oil in the name of the Lord. Such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make you well." Over and over, I had different people pouring oil on me, praying for my healing. My hair has never been more healthy as the time on my knees and oil on my head. People, I am sure, were tired of my begging. But I kept knocking, for I just knew the door had to open... I still have MS. Unanswered Prayers

I have so many examples of prayers offered, prayers that seemed unanswered. However, each time He has been there revealing my broken heart. Showing me that what He truly desires is for my heart to be healed. Its not about my circumstances, even though I seem to think it is. It is about my heart and how I value myself, how I see my God, how I do/do not love others. Hebrews 11:13, "All these people died still believing what God had promised them. They did not receive what was promised, but they saw it all from a distance and welcomed it." How do I see my relationship with my God? Can I still walk confidently in faith without my answer to my prayers?

I have a very good life! I know that my God loves me, but it isn't through my desires being given to me. I wanted a girl, I have my girl through my college girls He has showered on me. I needed healing. I have been healed. My heart was hard toward men. Now I know, they are not my enemies. I needed that son to begin to soften my heart. My hands are still numb and I stumble when I walk. It is a battle, but not a physical battle. It is a battle in learning to love myself. Without MS, I would live with indulgence. I wouldn't learn the lesson of restraint and how to truly take care of me. He loves me too much to allow me to live as a glutton. For everything that I would do, nothing would be good for me. I've proven that one!

God does heal people all of the time. Its just not always how we think it should be. God does answer all of our prayers, but it is often not how we think it is going to be. I have changed my perception of how God answers prayers. He is not Santa, but a God who loves me too much than to leave me the way I am. He sees my heart. He knows that above anything else, my heart is what needs healing. My heart needs focusing on Him, no matter what I'm doing, what is going on in my life, the circumstances that may come up. Where is my focus? As I start my day, am I willing to listen to what He is trying to say to me? Am I willing to accept His answers to my prayers? Do I love Him enough to allow Him to change my life through changing my heart? Do I focus on things of this world, or a relationship with Him? Will I be okay through the storms of life? Am I strengthening myself now for what is to come later? Can I still believe and have faith when I see "my prayers" for myself answered in someone else's life? (ex: They're physically healed from their disease. Mine is still hanging on.) What are your prayers? Are you willing to allow God the sovereignty to know more than you and to give Him your heart and time even if?

Let me make it clear, I pray all of the time about my wants and needs! "Please heal my body" is still right at the top.  "Please take care of... as they travel."  "Help me this day in....."  I'm always giving my requests to God.  But my focus is trying to change, as He is trying to change my hearts desire to match His desire. Its not about, "should I take this job or that?" "What is going to happen to my life if...?" It is all about your heart walk with God...
He does "give jobs, heal the diseases, change our circumstances" , but through it all He is constantly calling us in relationship to Him.  How is He calling you?  How is He healing my heart?

Jim McGuiggan, Reflections on Prayer

Apple of His Eye

"Let my teaching fall on you like rain; let my speech settle like dew. Let my words fall like rain on tender grass, like gentle showers on young plants." (Deut 32)

This image, this is the one. You can smell the rain on the grass, refreshing and new. The air is damp. The colors are vibrant... Ahh, take a deep breath. Fill your lungs with the freshness of Spring. Now step into church. Do you still feel the same? Do you feel refreshed and clean? This is how I feel, now at this walk of my life, but there was a time when all I heard was how none of us were good and if we did not live by the "rules" we were going to burn and that is all we deserved anyway. No grass. No fresh smell of rain. A desert wasteland waiting for me to die, this was my view of church, of God, of myself. But this is not where we are going. It is time to return to the Truth. It is time to reclaim who He made us to be; the apple, the maiden, the little man of His eye.

I used to do things that went against everything within me. I lived on the beach. Lets just say, no mamma wanted their children to look my way. I hung out at the bars and celebrated songs about trashy women. But, the whole time, from within my heart cried out, "This is not who I am. I am really good. Why can't you see that? Can you see who I really am through the fog of my actions? Why don't I feel cherished?"

There is something within each one of us that cries out for others to see us differently. Why is this? Maybe it is the God voice calling for us to be who He created us to become. Maybe that cry within our heart, that so desperately wants others to see us more beautifully, is the true cry of who we really are, and yet, for some reason we have squashed that cry and become something different. We have chosen less for ourselves for the world's voice shouted louder and changed us outwardly. So now it is time to return to who He created us to become so that our hearts are refreshed, the colors can be brighter and growth can occur. He created us as the crowning jewel of His delight! We are the little maiden's, the little men in His eye. When I got close to God, close enough to see my reflection in His eye, I could better see myself. Not only who I was, but who He made me to become.

Our society has lied to us. It has tried to tell our men that they will never grow up. They will remain boys forever and they are like animals who cannot control their physical desires. Our women will have to do everything because they just cannot handle it. Our little girls have grown up to quickly, on the other hand. They have become sexualized, not little girls becoming women, but hookers working for free. Through all of these lies, within each one of us we can hear His voice calling us to become more and to overcome the lie, to remember we are the apple of His eye. It is not about following the "rules", but about knowing who you are to Him, knowing who others are to Him as well.

The Ten Commandments are not just a bunch of do's and don'ts. They are a statement of how precious everyone in this equation is. (Exodus 20) God is the one to recognize for who He is. I am sacred and worth more, so give me the respect I need. You and your things are sacred and worth more, so I'll give you the respect you deserve. We have our place and our roles and each one is needed and worthy.

My God, He is Big! My God is my protector, my bouncer. He is the Rock that is immovable and He watches me, not to condemn me, but to guard me from harm. He is my cover who cherishes me and wants me to be treated with respect, for I have worth and value. He is my husband and with Him, no one dares to disrespect me for I hold our relationship close. "I will proclaim the name of the Lord; how glorious is our God! He is the Rock; his deeds are perfect. Everything he does is just and fair. He is a faithful God who does no wrong; how just and upright he is! ...He found them in a desert land, in an empty, howling wasteland. He surrounded them and watched over them; he guarded them as the apple of His eye..."


Remember who He made you to become and never again settle for less!

Temple Clearing

Matthew 21:12-17, Jesus, right after His triumphal entry, entered the temple and began clearing it. Knocking over the tables, He said to them, “The Scriptures declare, ‘My Temple will be called a house of prayer,’ but you have turned it into a den of thieves!”

When I read about the temple, my mind is always brought back to the fact that we are the temple now. As Christians we are the temple of God. We are supposed to keep ourselves holy and set apart for His service, but we tend to forget this. We are supposed to always be open for the hurting to come to us. Our homes are to be a sanctuary, a safe place, not only for us, but for others as well.

I had some college girls living with us a few months ago. Through their eyes, I started living my life as a Christ follower. Every time we have opened our home for someone else to stay with us, we have realized something very profound. It is in our home that our true faith is revealed. If you have to change the way you talk to your children, because someone else is listening, maybe your heart is not right toward your children. If others want to avoid your interaction with your spouse, maybe your heart is hard to the one you said you were committed to. If you live differently when others are around you, something is wrong. We are the temple of God. Every day is to be set aside for Him through our lives. It is not about earning your salvation, that is what the cross is about. It is about changing your actions, allowing Him to change your heart. It is about commitment. Who are you committed to?

This week is Holy week. The week set aside before Easter, so that we can thank Christ for dying for us on the Cross. We often think about what He does for us, but do we turn our thoughts inward at our commitment to Him? Do we need to clear the temple and look at how we are really living our lives, when no one else can see us? Can our children not only see our devotion to Christ in our home, but also feel His devotion to them through us? Does our spouse know that we are committed to them, sacrificially, for them. It is not about entering a building to show that we worship God. It is about being the temple of God on a daily basis. If Christ entered your temple after His triumphal entry, would He be knocking over some tables?

Foolish Cross

1 Corinthians 1:18-23, "I know very well how foolish the message of the cross sounds to those who are headed for destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very power of God.
As the Scriptures say, 'I will destroy the wisdom of the wise and discard the intelligence of the intelligent.'
So where does this leave the philosophers, the scholars, and the world’s brilliant debaters? God has made the wisdom of this world look foolish. Since God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would never know him through human wisdom, he has used our foolish preaching to save those who believe. It is foolish to the Jews, who ask for signs from heaven. And it is foolish to the Greeks, who seek human wisdom. So when we preach that Christ was crucified, the Jews are offended and the Gentiles say it’s all nonsense."

I've been sitting here this morning thinking about how to relate values and self-worth to the girls that I come in contact with. I don't want to overly exaggerate God when I talk with them. I know most do not believe in God themselves and their parents are unbelievers as well. So I really want to get the message across to them about what they are worth, without turning them off from using God so much. I've tried. I've racked my brain on how I can talk to them so they can hear, without me using Christ, but I cannot. I just can't. I know how stupid the cross sounds to them. Heck, I used to think the same way and I was brought up in a believing home. How can I tell them they are created for worth, without using the very One who created worth to begin with.

Just yesterday I was sitting around a table listening to others talk. One of the women at the table was talking about how her brother wanted a bible for his birthday. As she was saying this, her eyes were rolling. I could see how foolish she thought her brother was and how truly annoyed she was that he wanted a bible. As I was watching the women, one of them, an older woman was loving the fact that she had just picked up a new bible that was in the stack of books next to the table. She was admiring the pretty cover and talking about how excited she was to read it. As the older woman was talking, the younger woman looked at her like she was pathetic. Her looks were looks of pity and it seemed her thoughts were thoughts of contempt. The bible, the Cross, the Creator all seem so stupid to those who have not yet been touched by God, but to the rest of us, He is the very reason we want to breath each day.

Nothing, no one else is more valuable than you. "The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment: 'For who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct him?' But we have the mind of Christ," (2:14). It is through Christ that I have value. It is through Christ that judgment and fear of others is of no value to me. For it is through Christ where I have found how truly valuable I am. "Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple," (3:16). It is through Him that I can see how sacred my body is. It is through Him that I can see the gifts, that I possess, that He has given me. It is by Him that I can walk into any room, even with my past, and hold my head high. It is with His covering that I do not have to worry about what others think of me. It is the Cross that protects me wherever I go. It is in Him that I feel valuable. Grab hold of the free gift Christ is giving you. When you open that gift, then you will see your true worth. It is in Him that you will see how precious you really are.