Set Apart

Do you ever have the feeling of "why me?"  We can all feel like we are set apart in what is expected of us.  For me, it is in food.  Why do I have to eat differently than everyone else?  Why can't I indulge by eating just one cookie? But it can be in other things as well.  We can all look around us and ask ourselves those seemingly simple question, but often if we are honest with ourselves, those questions are the ones that haunt us within every detail of our lives.  It is very easy to carry this thought and place others under our own restrictions.  We can look at them and hold others to our same standards. Easy example is food.  Because of my mothers diligent study in the dietary arena, I know more than I ever wanted to about food and how eating affects our health. (Doug Kaufman is somewhere you should look if you are interested in why we often suffer.)  Anyway, because of my health and what I now know, I can watch my husband eat and know when he is not going to feel well the in the next couple of days. When this does happen and I prove right, it is very hard for me to not hold it against him for how he partook in certain foods prior to him getting ill (migraine, fatigued, ect.). We all do this on some level.  We often hold others accountable to our standard and knowledge.

Acts 15, Their peace was disturbed, however, when certain Judeans came with this teaching: “Unless you are circumcised according to Mosaic custom, you cannot be saved.”  The placing of rules and customs upon others is so easily done.  There are so many rules we hold upon others that keep them from ever seeing the goodness of God.  Why do we do this?  It is so hard to look at others and Not go there.  We expect them to keep the same rules we hold.  "...God knows the human heart, and He showed approval of their hearts by giving them the Holy Spirit just as He did for us. In cleansing their hearts by faith, God has made no distinction between them and us. So it makes no sense to me that some of you are testing God by burdening His disciples with a load that neither our forefathers nor we have been able to carry. No, we all believe that we will be liberated through the grace of the Lord Jesus—they also will be rescued in the same way."  

What does God have that we don't? Patience.  We don't think that we, or they, have time, so we aren't patient.  Often we we heap rules upon others because we know the outcome of their choices.  But, why do we try to "protect" them from that end result?  Don't we trust God enough to allow Him to deal with their heart?  Don't we know Him and how he has taken care of us, then why would He not take care of them?

This thought about expectations takes a spin in the every next chapter, Acts 16.  "...but there was a problem: although Timothy’s mother was a believing Jew, his father was Greek, which meant Timothy was uncircumcised. Because the Jewish people of those cities knew he was the son of a Greek man, Paul felt it would be best for Timothy to be circumcised before proceeding."  Why when he just scolded the Jewish leaders for putting this burden on others, does he now put it on Timothy?  It is expectations!  What were the expectations of Timothy?  Why would he be held to a more rigid standard? What was his goal in all of this?  

For many are not called to be teachers.  Not everyone is held to the same standard.  Some know God, they have faith, but they are not ever going to be in the spotlight as God's emissaries.  What does this mean for you and for me?  I am constantly reevaluating my role in God's service.  The whole "why me" thought takes a backseat to what I really want for my life.  I want to be a ambassador for Christ. I want others to be able to see my life and see a life worthy of the calling, so why do I go there.  Why do I ever feel sorry for myself and why would I hold others to the same standards?  Often it is because I loose focus.  If I keep my eyes upon my Lord and my relationship with Him as my focal point, I won't be swept up in the judgement and drama of others.

How does drama enter into my life?  It is never about me, but in me focusing on others.  I start pointing my finger at them and seeing what they are or are not doing.  I forget that what is expected of one may be different from what is expected in another.  It doesn't mean that anyone is better than the other, but that we each have our own calling and role to play in this life.  There are only two rules we need to keep, all of us regardless of our calling.
"You should love the Eternal, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.' The second great commandment is this: 'Love others in the same way you love yourself.' There are no commandments more important than these." 
No matter what our role is to be in this life, are we living our life in fulfillment of these commandments?  How are we doing here?  Its Not about others, but about ourselves.  This is the hardest thing to focus on.  
Liberty and the Standards of Jesus, this was yesterdays Oswald.  Last night at LIVE we discovered that we shouldn't hold our own standards upon others. We each have a calling.  Can we focus on God and ourselves?

Miraculous Healing

I have so many unanswered questions. I am always considering the ways of God and trying to know Him more. I love to watch people and try to relate to them. I wonder where they come from and what has happened in their lives to bring them to this point in life. I watch nature and try to connect with the great and beautiful gift of the wild. I watch. I listen. I learn and love all things created and give glory to the Christ who is the Great Creator. But this is where I get stumped the most, just when I think I understand more, the more I find I am at a loss for words. So this writing is in admittance that I do not know, but something that I am trying to learn. A pondering of the many why's, how's, when's, and what if's that go through my mind.

Why do I not see the miraculous healings in this land of America that I hear about in other countries? (I believe they happen, but I haven't seen them personally.) I have heard all about so many wonderful, miraculous things and yet here I am turning to science and Dr's. Now don't get me wrong. I've had some amazing recovery myself and I thank God for each and every blessed day. But what is holding us back? What is holding me back from receiving the miracle of healing that I know is available from a most powerful God. Is it all about me? Am I not just part of the elect, but part of the elite? Did Christ come for a few or for the world? Where do I sit this morning as I battle for my life? I am in great anticipation as I look at what lies ahead and in no way do I want to boast before the battle is won, but my soul is searching for those unanswered questions that are ever present.

"As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. 'Rabbi,' his disciples asked him, 'why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?'
'It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,' Jesus answered. 'This happened so the power of God could be seen in him. We must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us by the one who sent us. The night is coming, and then no one can work. But while I am here in the world, I am the light of the world.'” (John 9)

This happened so the power of God could be seen through him, but what if in our culture no one would see that power because of our over loaded hyper active culture. What if the healings would bring no credit to God? What if He just loves everyone and is calling everyone to heath and healing? (Not just the Elite!) What if part of my journey is for science to show that He is the Intelligent Designer and that through science, science is ever discovering His intelligent design.

Stem Cell research boggles my mind. We have within us these little cells that are made just for the repair of our bodies. They intelligently go out in search of what is hurting and they adapt to it and repair it. Amazing! That is a miracle within each and every one of us. Another interesting discovery is that when science tried to make an excuse for abortion and used the stem cells of these babies (Embryonic Stem Cell), many times they did not repair, but caused cancer. It is not in the taking of life, but in the giving of life and that life is in each and every one of us individually. We are the temple of the Most High God. If He loves the world, then why wouldn't He try and show Himself to everyone and not just the few!

I know that He came to me before I was "good". He showed me His love before I was ready to give up my life for Him. Am I so important that I cannot be a part of the healing in so many others lives who do not yet know Him. When I think of it that way, it takes the sting out of my heart. I am not part of the elite, but the elect. That elect is something offered to the whole world, not just the elite. So here I go on a very important part of my journey with MS, I have been accepted to be part of an Adult Stem Cell Research where they will take my own cells and place them back in me so that repair can start. I may not get a whole healing, but I can be part of something bigger and that will help the whole world see His power, His Intelligent Design, within each and every one of us. And that is worth it!

MY UTMOST FOR HIS HIGHEST

Until the whole world Hears!

Digging in the Sandbox

Appearances can be deceiving. Have you ever done something with the intentions of it being a good thing only to find out everything you had just done was the exact thing that caused your destruction? In 2 Samuel chapters 1 and 4, two different men bring the news to David that his enemies were dead. Two different men were trying to kill him. The first soldier brought the news that Saul was dead. He had seen him suffering from a fatal wound and Saul begged him to finish the job, 2 Samuel 1:1-16. He brought "good news" to David. David was distressed, not relieved, and ordered that the messenger be killed. Then only what seems a short time later, in chapter 4, another messenger brought news that he had defeated another enemy of David's and this was his response. "Someone once told me, ‘Saul is dead,’ thinking he was bringing me good news. But I seized him and killed him at Ziklag. That’s the reward I gave him for his news! How much more should I reward evil men who have killed an innocent man in his own house and on his own bed? Shouldn't I hold you responsible for his blood and rid the earth of you?' 
So David ordered his young men to kill them, and they did. They cut off their hands and feet and hung their bodies beside the pool in Hebron. Then they took Ishbosheth’s head and buried it in Abner’s tomb in Hebron." (Vs. 10-12)

Ah, being the messenger is not always what it appears to be. Realizing this brings me fear and trembling before the throne of God! I find myself in a mix of emotional overload and struggling to organize it all inside is about to tear me apart. I want nothing more than to bring my life story to light, not in letting everyone know about me, but about His redemptive truth. With my life being so openly exposed, how do I do this without causing someone to stumble with the illusions that can be given. How do I keep my focus without loosing my head? (No pun intended;) 

Its all about focus. What were these men focused on? The approval of David, a man. What is my focus? What are the truths that my story is telling? Is it just about me, or am I bringing the story around full circle and landing on Him? 

Oswald Chambers, "If you yourself do not cut the lines that tie you to the dock, God will have to use a storm to sever them and to send you out to sea. Put everything in your life afloat upon God, going out to sea on the great swelling tide of His purpose, and your eyes will be opened. If you believe in Jesus, you are not to spend all your time in the calm waters just inside the harbor, full of joy, but always tied to the dock. You have to get out past the harbor into the great depths of God, and begin to know things for yourself— begin to have spiritual discernment."

There should always be great apprehension about a new project, about sharing our lives, about telling others anything! But in the fear, where is our focus? In the sandbox, we are building. Go with me...

As a child plays in the sand he can do so many things. He can dig deep holes, he can find buried treasures.  Most of the time is spent digging, looking down. But if he will get up, turn on the water and bring the water to the sand, he can then start building. The sand becomes sticky and his vision will change. He stops looking down in the ground before him and starts to look up. What he is doing is bringing in something that binds and changes his view. This is what we are to do. It isn't about what we have done, but what He is doing.


"The counterfeit of obedience is a state of mind in which you create your own opportunities to sacrifice yourself, and your zeal and enthusiasm are mistaken for discernment. It is easier to sacrifice yourself than to fulfill your spiritual destiny, which is stated in Romans 12:1-2. It is much better to fulfill the purpose of God in your life by discerning His will than it is to perform great acts of self-sacrifice. “Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice . . .” (1 Samuel 15:22). Beware of paying attention or going back to what you once were, when God wants you to be something that you have never been. “If anyone wills to do His will, he shall know . . .” (John 7:17), Oswald.


As I go on the mission of delivering a message I must keep my focus. I must make sure that I am not seeking to please any one person in particular, but to please my God. I mustn't loose my head in loosing my focus. We do not know the final outcome of anything we are doing today. What we think our goals are, are often not His goals, but if we will keep our ultimate focus on Him our destination will be life. And in this we cannot fail! Where is our focus? Are we digging in the past, or are we looking up to the future in the now?

Masonry

I love to discover new things about my God.  One of the things that I was turned on to several years ago was Ray Vanderlaan, Follow the Rabbi. Mind blowing things that can only be seen when you enter the world, the culture, the people.  In one of his teachings he discusses how Jesus probably was no carpenter, but a stone mason.  As I listened to him, I could see.  I can see this so much easier than I can see a carpenter working with wood.  Especially since when you see Israel you don't see forests, but deserts and lots and lots of rock.  How often did Jesus refer to wood when he spoke?  I can't recall many, if any.  Turn that around to rocks.  Now that one is all over the bible Old and New Testament.  Just passages that refer to cornerstones, there are at least 10.  And referring to Jesus as the cornerstone in the NT Matthew 21:42, Mark 12:10-11, Luke 20:17, Acts 4:11, 1 Peter 2:7.  Now I could go on and on and I could gather more examples of stones; Mathew 16:18, when Jesus calls Peter the "Rock", 1 Corinthians 10:4 Jesus as the spiritual rock.... Seriously, do we need to proceed!  I'll let you look it up yourself ;)  Lets get to the issue....

Last night at L!VE  I had a friend of ours, Kaine Leonard owner of Rocky Mountain Masonry, come and speak to everyone about masonry and lessons he has learned along the way.  He started by telling everyone how in college he was an extreme gravity biker, adrenaline was his rush.  He would take his 40lbs bike up to the top of mountains, often using ski lifts to get there, then fly down the mountain at top speeds.  What a ride. He then graduated from Western with a geology degree and discovered that working in a cubical was not going to work for him.   Masonry was calling him, but his first lesson was Pride.  He had a college degree, an extreme biker and now was reduced to a grunt laborer.  With this new role he had to force himself to plow through taking each moment by moment task and completing it with integrity as the low man on the totem poll.  And this is how his masonry life began.  With pride being toppled from the beginning.  

A quick summery of other life lessons:  

*Take each step moment by moment.  You cannot rush through and complete your job.  It takes time to do it right.

*Put your blinders on.  You cannot look at the enormous job set before you.  You start with the rock in hand.  Focus on the small task and you will soon look around to discover that you have accomplished more than you realized.

*Rock doesn't care.  If you mess up or break a rock, don't loose your cool.  It won't help anything, the rock doesn't care that you did it wrong.

*Perfect product/perfect material.  You don't have to have lots of tools and a huge supply of rock, what you have is sufficient.

*Work on your knees.... enough said

*Work smarter, not harder.  If you go at the rocks before you with all of your strength the entire working day, you will burn out fast.  It is about being smart with what you have now.

*Patience- go with the flow.  This is not a race to see who can make it down the mountain first.  It is about a slow and steady adaptability.

*Sometimes when you do everything right, it still seems not to work.  You can't give up.  It is about a new day, same job.

*You can be so proud of a job you have done.  You think you did it without error, but when you return to that job after learning more, you discover that as you look at your past job, you didn't know as much as you thought you did.  You look at the job you did and discover things with a new eye.

*Work from the outside in.  You cannot start a task of smoothing a rock from where you want to end. You have to start from the outside, chipping away small pieces to finally achieve the rock you desired from the beginning.  You cannot see it and start there.  You see it, then work your way in.

So many life lessons in just a short amount of time.  As we travel through this life, doing the slow and steady work before us God is teaching us.  He is showing us who we really are and teaching us to work better.  The most important stone is the cornerstone.  This one is vital for any building. "The stone the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone."  We get so used to the rush of life.  We see the race and want to be the first to cross the finish line.  When we learn from our Lord, we see that it is not about fast, but efficient.  You cannot rush through.  You cannot focus on where you want to end, but you need to have miopia, nearsightedness.  Today, work slowly and diligently.  Do not get overwhelmed with the big construction sight, but pick up you rock and start chipping away piece by piece.  Allow Christ to be your cornerstone and you will have a secure and well built building.  Another little note that Kaine added, we laugh a lot on the job.  When you are entrenched in the work set before you, you laugh.  Enjoy this ride....  

My Biggest Mistake

The other day I put a post on FB that asked others, "What is my biggest mistake."  I had some responses that said things like pride, jealousy, laziness, naive, self pity, addiction, with a few colorful remarks that made me smile as well.  While I may have all of these things as part of my character these are not my biggest mistakes.  My biggest mistake has really never been some thing that I have done.  It is not a lie, cheating, divorce, sex or drugs.  No my biggest mistake still haunts me.  I still fear my biggest mistake.  I am not afraid of going out and doing drugs again.  I am not afraid of being tempted in a bar to get wasted and go home with some random guy.  I am not afraid of.... you fill in that one.  I am not afraid of many things.  I'm getting too old. I'm a wife and a mother and I hope that my walk with God has brought me past that.  I have grown with Him and I am no longer haunted by the same things that used to haunt me.  And besides all of those things really only involve me.  I am not afraid of most all things that only involve me and my personal struggles.  No the thing that I consider as my biggest mistake, that thing that still drives me because I never want to become that again... Enabler. 

If you look enable up in the dictionary or the thesaurus you will find words like empower, approve, and  facilitate.  All of these words seem very good, but sometimes your greatest strength may cause the most destruction.  I hope now that I can use my greatest strength to bring others up, but there was a time when my greatest strength was a tool to bring others down.  Let me give you the best and easiest example I have... my ex-husband...

In my previous marriage I was my husbands biggest enemy.  It all started with simple little things.  He didn't want to go to church.  Well I really didn't want to either, so we didn't.  He wanted to play music full time, so I came up with the idea of living in a camper at the KOA.  He quit his day job and we lived very cheaply.  I'm not going to bore you with more details that you already know.  I'm the one to blame for I did not hold to a higher standard in my life.  I brought that standard down and became his enabler, his dealer, his.... fill in that blank... I became his "sin".  

In Deuteronomy 4 Moses is giving his farewell speech to Israel.  He is calling them to remember.  He is  reminding them that they are to follow God so that others will want to follow them.  So they can help become part of the redeeming factor of the world.  They were designed to be a vehicle to reach other nations.  With our limited view, it may not look like this is what their ultimate job was, but remember "God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son" ... 
“But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren.  Never forget the day when you stood before the Lord your God..."(4:9,10).

My biggest strength is also my biggest mistake.  I never again want to enable destruction in someone else's life.  I am not responsible for what they do Oswald explains this nicely, but I do not want it to be known that because of how I acted in their life they are now destroyed.  "If a child gives in to selfishness, he will find it to be the most enslaving tyranny on earth. There is no power within the human soul itself that is capable of breaking the bondage of the nature created by Yielding."  

The challenge for me now is to know how to love others as they are, but not to enable them to continue on as they want to be.  It is about coming up higher to how He originally created us to be.  For we are the apple, the little maiden, the little man of His eye.   I am not responsible for others behavior like an amateur providence... and amateur is all that I would be.  It was my own selfish desires that allowed me to enable that same fault in others.  In holding myself to a higher standard, I hope I can enable others in a good way this time.  This is my time. My time to allow my greatest mistake to become my greatest strength, just like He originally intended!

Business Dealings

Do you ever second guess yourself.  Wondering, "Did I do that? How did that happen? or Am I at fault here?"  So many things come into play as we work out each day, but when something goes wrong, those are the days that self doubt takes over.

I have been going through this.  The other day I received an email from one of the home owners that I work for.  She was questioning me about her home and some things that she found.  I immediately go into, "What did I not do, or I could have been more diligent here..."  My mind races and every step that I take is looked over and over and over.  I re-walk my steps through the house in my mind, over and over again.  Jason saw me "going there" last night.  He laid aside what he was doing then reached out and took me.  He asked, "Have you done anything wrong?"
"No"
"Did you open the door that was found open?"  (Other workers have access to the house as well.)
"No"
Every part of my performance is questioned and I start to cry.  I can't help it.  I know I could do better.  I always can!  But his words brought my heart to rest on the truth, "You did everything you could.  You take care of your job and you do it well.  If we loose these clients over this, it is okay."  And with that he hugged me and turned to finish what he was working on.

My night did not end in complete rest of my mind, but when I turned to scripture this morning I saw exactly what I needed to.  Proverbs 11:1, "Dishonesty in business disgusts the Eternal, but fair dealings delights Him."  Then the insert right below this says, "Business may well be the most common human activity, so God cares deeply about how we conduct our business.  Many proverbs address honesty in all forms of business-buying, selling, negotiating, transacting, and working.  All of these depend on trust.  Deceit in business causes many people to suffer.  In fact, world economies and all our livelihoods depend in large measure on truthfulness  honesty, and fair dealings in the market."

This may sound crazy, like a reprimand, but it is not.  I am innocent and have conducted myself with integrity.    I do at times take someone with me while I am working, but I am not irresponsible in doing this.  Often I need help, or it may be a good time to talk while I work.  They do not have free reign of the home, but are with me.  So why do I immediately jump to the awful conclusion that I have done something wrong?

Part of my insecurity is the fact that these home owners do not have a personal relationship with me.  They do not know me!  So in this I feel I am constantly having to prove myself.  That is an awful way to live.  This does not bring me security, but a feeling of inadequacy.  100% self inflicted.  May my heart rest on my reputation within.  Have I been perfect?  No.  Have I seen a few things I need to check on that I have not thought of before?  Indeed.  Will I do a little better next time in noticing what I do not usually think of? Yes.  With that, I can rest no matter the outcome.

Colossians 3:23, "Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.  Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ."

Nanny Cams, that is our next step.  I do my work well, but only He can see me when I am alone.  I have nothing to hide, for I know that in truth I always have someone watching.  I am hoping to get cameras in all of our homes.  Then there is never a question of "who?"  I do not have to live with a feeling of "self preservation", but a feeling of security that no matter what happens, He will take care of me.  I have been fair.   I have done my job to the best of my previously known ability.  Some things have been brought to my attention... now I know and will do even better.  That is all that can be expected of anyone.

As a child I trained myself to live on the defense.  I would lie and mislead.  I trained myself to not trust myself through the choices I made.  I have discovered that this is no way to live!  I still go there, but it is not merited.  I must constantly remind my heart of who I am now and I do not have to live in my past.  "I press on to the prize at the end for which Christ is calling me heavenward."  And with that, I find peace.  But in order to find this peace we must first look at our own heart.  Are we living in every day like we are being watched from Nanny Cameras?  If we discover that one day we have been filmed, what will be our reaction then?  Do we really live as though our true boss is the Lord?

Karaoke Star

Last week I had a theme in my home.  Do you ever have themes that seem to keep appearing?  You know, that "something" that keeps coming up no matter where you are or what you are doing, that is a theme.  Our theme was obedience.  You see, Jason kept all of his Lego's and many other toys from when he was a child.  He kept most of them in their original boxes and the building instructions that go with each set.  When we brought them from his parents house we threw away most of the boxes and combined them together as one very large and obtrusive mass of Lego pieces.  He saved them as his gift for his son and he has already given many of them to him.  But here recently our youngest boy wants the pieces that build a city.  Now you must understand that not only did Jason keep all of his original Lego toys, but we have also bought our children new ones.  Lets just say, "We have tens of thousands of Lego's!"  Do you know what a mess this can make in our home?!  Our son wants to build a Lego home and he wants to start with ours!!  Jason already built the boys a Lego table in their room, a special place just for their enjoyment.  However, they cannot play there, it is covered with toys piled upon toys.  Solution, organize the Lego's.

Our youngest is just about to turn 7.  He is the one that is obsessed with the Lego's.  So this is what Jason told him almost a month ago, "Sort your Lego's by color.  Put the white ones in this bucket.  Put the red ones in this bucket.... and so on.  Once you have sorted the Lego's, I will give you the rest of what I have.  If you want all that I have to give you, you must show me that you are responsible enough to have them." 

We worked with our son.  We encouraged him.  We pleaded with him for three weeks to listen to us so that he could receive all that his father had to give him.  For three weeks this went on until that fateful day, Father's Day.  Jason wanted to take the family to see a movie, but the instructions were that in order to receive the prize the Lego clean up had to be completed.  The end result, the child was banished from playing with the Lego's he had already received and he is not going to get what his father had prepared for him.

The week of obedience.  During this week I had one line from a country music song singing within my mind.  I don't even listen to country music any more, but this song would not stop playing!  "She's a big star at Banana Joe's Bar where she sings karaoke every night."  Just this one line playing over and over like a skip on the CD.  Over and over.  I didn't get to the rest, I just landed on the truth of what we all do everyday, all of the time.  Our Father has a gift for us.  He has something that He saved for us before we were even born.  He has a plan for our future, a gift we can delight in.  But, we do not get past the moments of playing with what we see right in front of us.  We do not stay strong and we settle for something that is small.  We can still enjoy our time.  We can sing in a small bar with only a few people looking on, but the ultimate prize we throw away because the work just seems too much.  We want to play now, because the right now is all we can focus on.

We all do this, I do this.  I grab a large helping of sweets.  I know that in order to function tomorrow, in order to enjoy this life tomorrow, I have to be diligent with what I eat, but I don't.  I eat what is placed right in front of me.  I want that desert.  BUT I do not just take a simple bite to enjoy, I go into indulgence mode and fill my plate.  Then after that is over I sneak another bite or two from the refrigerator.  The next day, do I fill satisfied?  Do I fill energetic and ready to play with my kids?  Do I feel ready to get what needs to be done for the days agenda? Noo!  All I want to do is sleep.  Am I willing to give up everything God has planned for me over one simple indulgence?  I must be, I do it all of the time, but I do not want to. I want to get to the end of my time here with endurance.  I want to finish this life out with energy and a fire that cannot be extinguished.  I want to affect many people on this journey.  I want them all to see the life that I have sung.  I do not want to settle for being a karaoke star in some unknown bar.  I want my life to be a song the whole world can sing.  I want to be Christ's big star.  I want all of the plans that God has for my life.  I do not want to settle.  Do you?

Hebrews 12:1, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. "

Pursuit of Pleasure

I have recently learned how (to at least) establish or acknowledge guidelines in learning how to truly enjoy pleasures in this life. I think this is vital, for we can so easily take what God has so freely given us and abuse it to the point that we unwittingly abuse others around us. We can also become an "Eeyore" Christian and others see us as people who do not know the meaning of fun! We are going to travel down the road in learning boundaries and what to look for as we learn to truly enjoy God given pleasures. We must remember that all pleasures were God's idea first and those pleasures include sex, food, luxuries, friendships, conversations, all things that bring us joy.

Judges 7, Gideon was instructed by God to select his army. God knew that it was too big so He told him to bring his warriors to a river so they could drink. "Keep ones who kneel to drink water from their hands." 300 men were all that Gideon has to go into battle with. These men drank with their heads up keeping their eyes aware of their surroundings. (Really must read the scripture to really be able to see it yourself, Judges 6:33-7:8).

With these verses in mind we come to point #1. "Anything that refreshes you without distracting you from, diminishing, or destroying your final goal is a legitimate pleasure...point within that goal: You first have to draw out what your final goal is. If you never draw out what your purpose is, you will never know what will refresh you along the way. Problem with pleasure today, most of us have not drawn out a final purpose in life. Once you have established that then you know what can distract, diminish, or destroy you along the way," (RZ).

What is your final goal in life. Really it does not have to be that big... What is your goal in the stage you are in right now? If you are a college student, is your goal to finish school, to retain the knowledge you are given? If you are a mother, what is your goal? A father, what is your goal? What is your goal within your business? While you are establishing your goal there is a catch. Your goal needs to be wrapped around one main theme: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’"

In seeing now your goal and what must be the main theme within that goal, now it is time to define sin. “Whatever weakens your reasoning, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes away your relish for spiritual things. In short, if anything increases the authority and power of the flesh over the spirit, then that to you becomes sin, however good it is in itself," (Susanna Wesley) Sin is that thing that comes in and separates you from your goals and from God, the One who wants the best for your life. Stop and really reflect on that, then go on to point number two.

In 2 Samuel 23, David, weary from battle, longs for a simple drink from his well in Bethlehem. His best men sneak behind enemy lines and bring him that drink. He is first elated about a taste of his own water then looks at his men and decides that their lives are worth more and they should have never risked their lives for his refreshment.

Point #2: "Any pleasure that jeopardizes the sacred right of another, is an illicit pleasure for you," (RZ).

I could go into so many examples for this one, but I will let you think of the things that you have done in your own life that were not really a big deal for you, but what about those whom you influence, those who were with you. Think about how that could affect them.

Short and simple, point #3: Proverbs 25:16, “If you find honey, eat just enough— too much of it, and you will vomit.” "Any pleasure , however good, if not kept in balance will distort reality or destroy your appetite," (RZ).

We all must look at these tree main points, keeping the main goal in mind, then we will learn how to truly enjoy this life. There are boundaries that we must keep, for if we do not, we will come to the point of that pleasure and want to vomit. This lesson is more for me than I care to really admit. I have lived this life without boundaries. I have tried this life with rules that were not attached to heart. Really all that matters is the fact that I keep my eyes upon this goal, ("'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’") and learn to walk in a way that leads others in the direction of true pleasure as well.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27, “Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.”

The Cost of the Compromise

Judges, a time when the people should have been enjoying their Promised Land, but they were not. Why? They had dealt with the sin that was within. They saw what they were hiding and what they had been holding on to. Now they were living in their land, but they were still under much strife and there was still no rest. Why?

"Incomplete removal of evil often means disaster in the end." The people compromised with wickedness and they had to face that a compromise really means infiltration. Chapter 1, "But they failed to drive out the people living in the plains, who had iron chariots....The tribe of Benjamin, however, failed to drive out the Jebusites, who were living in Jerusalem.... The tribe of Manasseh failed to drive out the people living in Beth-shan." On and on, Israel failed to completely rid the land of the people who already lived there. "So what," you say. "Whats the big deal? Can't we all just live in peace?"

Wisdom is right by what results from it. Because of their failure to completely drive out the deeply rooted sin in the land, "They will be thorns in your sides, and their gods will be a constant temptation to you.” (2:3)

A compromise, because they were tired of fighting. A compromise, because they saw how powerful the people were and they were intimidated by them. A compromise that really was disobedience. So often we compromise on something that seems so small, but is really a very big deal. We cover it over with the illusion that it will not hurt us and we think we are really doing what is best for us. The truth is, we are settling and we are afraid to face the challenge of completely removing that sin from our land. The result is a spiritual, moral, decline that turns our heart away from the tenderness of God.

What happens when I surround myself with others who are tender to their families? I become tender and more patient with my own. What happens when I surround myself with others who love the LORD and who are truly seeking Him? Their fire helps mine burn hotter. The same goes for the reverse. Their love will infiltrate us, whatever that love is. The trick is being able to separate myself enough, so that I can keep the vision clear. If I can keep His will for my life in full view, then I can completely clear the land and live in peace. All too often, I compromise. I focus on my own past failures so much that I forget. I fail to hold others accountable and let their sin go on. Which in turn starts a cycle of complacency and disobedience in my own life. If I fail to clear the land around me of sin, this will always come back to haunt me and ultimately keep me in the cycle of sin, myself.

Oswald Chambers, "The most wonderful secret of living a holy life does not lie in imitating Jesus, but in letting the perfect qualities of Jesus exhibit themselves in my human flesh. Sanctification is 'Christ in you..." (Colossians 1:27)... Sanctification means the impartation of the holy qualities of Jesus Christ to me. It is the gift of His patience, love, holiness, faith, purity, and godliness that is exhibited in and through every sanctified soul... The perfection of everything is in Jesus Christ, and the mystery of sanctification is that all the perfect qualities of Jesus are at my disposal. Consequently, I slowly but surely begin to live a life of inexpressible order, soundness, and holiness— '...kept by the power of God...' (1 Peter 1:5)."

Who are we allowing to live in our land? How are they affecting us? Are we living a changed life through the power of Christ in us? Or are we being infected by those who are being allowed to live with us? If I stop and really think about it, I can see the truth. The hard part is the follow through once I have seen. The hard part is facing what seems so much stronger than I am. This is when I must turn to God and remember that it is He who will ultimately fight the fight for me, but He is waiting for me to trust and obey.

Of the World

Deuteronomy 48ff, "That same day the Lord said to Moses, 'Go to Moab, to the mountains east of the river, and climb Mount Nebo, which is across from Jericho. Look out across the land of Canaan, the land I am giving to the people of Israel as their own special possession. Then you will die there on the mountain. You will join your ancestors, just as Aaron, your brother, died on Mount Hor and joined his ancestors. For both of you betrayed me with the Israelites at the waters of Meribah at Kadesh in the wilderness of Zin. You failed to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel there. So you will see the land from a distance, but you may not enter the land I am giving to the people of Israel.'”

I have often wondered why God treated Moses so harshly when he struck the rock instead of talking to it. (Numbers 20:9-13) So what, so he struck the rock instead of talking to it. Whats the big deal? Was God unfair to Moses? Was He being unreasonable?

I feel we all have some kind of calling on our lives. At times, I can become overwhelmed with the job that I feel God is giving me. At times, I would like to turn to my old familiar ways of dealing with things and get lost in a moment and forget my responsibilities. There are many of us who feel this way, but we all are responsible for how we handle stresses and what it looks like, to others, in how we handle them. Moses had a huge responsibility in showing the people who God was. God had a certain role for Moses to play. Moses lost his cool and did not demonstrate God's power, but his own. This was the "big" deal that lost him the promised land. "You failed to demonstrate my holiness to the people..."

So often people see us. They see us and see how we worship our God, but they also see us in how we handle this life outside of our church walls. This is where God is holding us accountable. Do others see His changing power through our lives? Do they see that He is truly part of us, or do they hear the words, but see something different? Moses did not loose his position with God. Moses joined his ancestors beside God when he died. This is not about loosing your salvation, but about loosing your promise land. It is about loosing our rights to represent God to others. It is about God pulling you aside and not allowing you to go forth in front of others to represent His holiness. It is about being set aside as different. Are we different from others? Have we really changed how we act around our home? Do we handle our stresses differently? Do we handle our fun differently? If we talk about a spiritual transformation, has there really been a change in our own life? If it is by the power of God that we are transformed, I hope so. Can others pull you out of the crowd you are in and say you are different. Or is it just the words you say that make you feel you are different. That is by definition, hypocrisy.

“When you fall into sin, the smallest price you pay is only the wounding you bring to yourself-- You grieve the heart of God and embarrass the community of Christ” (RZ). How are we living out our lives with God in front of others?

There have been so many things that I would have liked to have done, but I did not. I cannot go out and party. There are many things that I do that really are not sin in my heart, but because others are watching me, (and this thing may cause them to stumble) I do not do these certain things in public. I have to be conscious of how it looks to others. I have to. It is my responsibility to God who has called me to be different, so that my life may demonstrate His holiness.

I have shared all of my struggles. I have allowed others to see how truly weak I am on my own. Now I am being called to demonstrate through my life, how God can change us and make us strong. No matter what I do or where I am, I am being watched. Can others see His power, or do they still just see my sin. Is my life still grieving God's heart? Am I an embarrassment to the community of Christ?

1 John 2:15, "Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you." We are to live in this world, but we are not to be of this world. What do others see? Is my life demonstrating His holiness, or do others still just see me?

http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/living-proof-with-beth-moore/listen/the-inheritance-from-dvd-8-of-9-200150.html
This is a link to Beth Moore..... She addresses this issue.

Do the Work

1 Chronicles 28:9-10, 20, "And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve Him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will be found by you; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever. Consider now, for the LORD has chosen you to build a temple as a sanctuary. Be strong and do the work. ...Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you..."

Young Solomon had to have had many fears and concerns about being chosen for such an enormous task. He had to take on a huge responsibility. A responsibility that would otherwise be the job of an older man, but because of his father's past, he was now responsible. Now it seemed that the weight of the world was upon his shoulders. But, in this dialogue we find the words of this warrior preparing his son for an enormous battle. "Be strong and do the work. ...Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you..."

How often we look out onto our own challenges and find that the task ahead of us seems impossible. We can look at others around us, and see them depending on us for financial security. We may wake in the morning and feel as though the weight of the world is upon our shoulders and that the task is too large for anyone. That is when we hear the words, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work." God is not calling us to sit back and do nothing while He does everything for us. He is calling us to do the work. Do the work that He has set in front of us and He will not forsake you, nor will He fail you. Do you know that when you have diligently sought after God and when you feel you are failing your family, it is not actually you that you feel has failed, but you feel it is God who is failing you.

Oswald Chambers, "There are times in our lives when our peace is based simply on our own ignorance. But when we are awakened to the realities of life, true inner peace is impossible unless it is received from Jesus. When our Lord speaks peace, He creates peace, because the words that He speaks are always 'spirit, and they are life' (John 6:63). Have I ever received what Jesus speaks? '...My peace I give to you...'— a peace that comes from looking into His face and fully understanding and receiving His quiet contentment.

Are you severely troubled right now? Are you afraid and confused by the waves and the turbulence God sovereignly allows to enter your life? Have you left no stone of your faith unturned, yet still not found any well of peace, joy, or comfort? Does your life seem completely barren to you? Then look up and receive the quiet contentment of the Lord Jesus. Reflecting His peace is proof that you are right with God, because you are exhibiting the freedom to turn your mind to Him. If you are not right with God, you can never turn your mind anywhere but on yourself. Allowing anything to hide the face of Jesus Christ from you either causes you to become troubled or gives you a false sense of security.

With regard to the problem that is pressing in on you right now, are you 'looking unto Jesus' (Hebrews 12:2) and receiving peace from Him? If so, He will be a gracious blessing of peace exhibited in and through you. But if you only try to worry your way out of the problem, you destroy His effectiveness in you, and you deserve whatever you get. We become troubled because we have not been taking Him into account. When a person confers with Jesus Christ, the confusion stops, because there is no confusion in Him. Lay everything out before Him, and when you are faced with difficulty, bereavement, and sorrow, listen to Him say, 'Let not your heart be troubled...' (John 14:27)."

Do not doubt God. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not blame Him for your failings, but worship Him and get out there and do the work He has set in front of you. While you are working, be sure and check your heart and your motives and keep them pure before Him. For, He knows our inner most thoughts. "If you seek Him, He will be found by you; ...Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you..."

What do you Believe, Why?

I think that I have asked this question before, but I also think that it is worth asking again. If you are a Christian, why are you one? If you do not believe in Christ, why not? It is not a simple little issue, but rather a very big one that needs deeper thinking than you may realize. Have you really put much thought into why you believe what you believe, or are you just going with the flow of what is right in front of you in the moment? Basically are you shallow, or do you have a deeper meaning in your life?

Everyone has their own personal testimony about why they believe what they do. Everyone has their own personal world view. This is a very critical part of everyones life. The questions that we must deal with are questions of; "Can our world view be backed up with science, history, and personal experience. Is what we believe true, or do we make excuses for everything saying its all relative?" We are not called to live in blind faith, but to be able to give an answer for our faith.

This journey of mine has been one of trial and error, living life blindly, stumbling through as a fool. I have made the biggest blunders in my personal journey, any normal person would be more than embarrassed to admit.... I am embarrassed to admit! It wasn't until I looked at my life in the truth of my failures that I was able to see how God had touched my life and given me a personal story. It was in looking at my personal story that I started seeking the truth about what and who God really was. I started listening to and watching for truth in the people that taught about Christ. I had to first weed out the imitators, there are a lot of quacks out there! I couldn't give up just because there are a lot of quacks. There are doctors who are quacks, does that mean that I give up seeking the right doctors for my health? No. I had to start seeking Him, then I discovered Him. I needed my belief to be backed up with science. As a child I was taught one thing about God and how the universe came into being, but then science through me for a loop. Why would God try and trick us? Why wouldn't science back up who He is? I discovered that science, history, relics found; they all can be backed-up with who the bibles says that God is, and they all back-up the bible. It can all be backed up! This gave me something more than just my personal testimony to stand on. This gave me the proof that I needed, so that when my own doubts came creeping in, I could defend Him, against myself.

Frank Tureks book, "I Don't Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist" gave me the science that I needed. I started listening/watching him on TV, then my brother got me the book. I devoured it in just a few short days. Most was over my head, for I was never a good student, but it gave me the science that I was so desperately needing. Ravi Zacharias is one that I turn to often, on how to walk in this knowledge of who God is. His is an apologist and his teaching gives me the knowledge on how to give a defense for what I believe. I have another blog that I turn to called "Evidence for God from Science." This man is a brilliant chemist/professor who has taken his science and knowledge and used it to study the bible. I have other resources/teachers who I listen to so that I can better live out my faith in my everyday life. My passion is study. This is a passion that is new to me, for I always hated school, but this I love and cannot get enough of. I may not be able to give you an answer in full detail to every question, but I can lead the questioner to someone who can.

Everyone has a personal testimony for what they believe. The true test comes in on how you can back that testimony up with the resources that we have at our hands. Does your faith in whatever you believe, does it stand the test of science, history, discovery? Can you back up your belief? Why are you a Christian? Why aren't you one?

Consequences Today for Lessons Tomorrow

This morning tears fell from my face as I read the scriptures. Tears of concern for my children and the path that I am leading them down. My sons, my only two children that I am responsible for, what can I learn and what can I avoid as I raise them? 1 Samuel 1-8 is filled with parental failings and sons who are not part of God's chosen ones.

Eli, a priest, a respected man in the community, did not have sons that followed in his path. What did he do that he could raise Samuel to love the Lord, but his own sons had contempt for God and His Holiness? One thing that stands out as I read the scripture and the commentary that goes along with it is that he did not discipline his sons. When he saw them doing wrong, he turned a blind eye toward what they were doing. Instead of punishing them, he allowed God to be the disciplinarian and by that time they were older and they suffered the consequences that came with the sins we so often commit when we are supposed to be more mature. As I read this my attention has to be drawn to Samuel, as well. Why did he not follow in the same footsteps as Eli's sons. I must believe that Eli's sons were Samuel's examples to watch. Samuel was able to observe first hand what the outcome would be if he took God for granted and did not respect Him as the Holy One. Samuel's sons were no different than Eli's. Samuel did not know how to be a good father either, for his sons "were greedy for money. They accepted bribes and perverted justice," (8:3). What am I to learn from both of of these men as a parent? What can I do so that both of my sons are not lost as their sons were?

As I have experienced life and watched the outcome of others lives and how they were raised, I must stop and really evaluate what the truth is. There are two ways that stand out to me, I am sure there are more, but two that stand out to me in the lessons of Eli and Samuel. The lessons of consequences and how they are learned. In reading this morning I observed that these life lessons of consequences was learned in two ways. One with observing others, and one with children lost because of lessons that they never were taught. With all of my heart, might, and desire, I want my sons to learn the lesson of consequences, while the consequences are small in comparison. I speak to them often about how they need to think about the consequences that are to follow what actions they take. Good and bad consequences always follow whatever action we take. It is a natural law and I hope to train them to think ahead and see if the consequences are worth what they are doing in that brief moment. This lesson is the main lesson that everyone must learn. We as parents either discipline our own children, or they may learn it by observing others, or they will suffer in their adult life and experience the lesson the hardest way. Samuel learned by watching Eli's sons, but Eli's sons were lost in the process. Samuel's sons had no one to watch and suffered the consequences in their adult life. I am not willing to sacrifice one of my sons so the other can learn by observation alone.

So often as a parent it seems much easier to turn a blind eye and let yourself believe that they will figure things out on their own. Just the other day I was at the park and a child had a toy. While we watched the children playing, we observed that the child was not sharing. I heard the mother say, "I want to intervene, but he needs to learn to share on his own." This is a recipe for a selfish man in the making. Children do not learn like that. They must continually be taught. They must be made to think outside the world of "me, mine." So often I must intervene with my children and it is hard work. It is much easier to turn a blind eye and assume that they will learn the lesson themselves, but it is not always a lesson learned. Too often the life is lived out and the consequences of that lost life are devastating. Which of my children am I willing to sacrifice today for the lessons that I am not willing to teach them for tomorrow. The consequences are small today with the discipline that comes, but when they are older the consequences can be devastating if they do not suffer today. With disciplining my children today and letting them understand the pain that comes with the consequences of their choices, they have a better chance of becoming observant, obedient adults tomorrow. In the way that I am raising my children, am I showing them how much God loves them? Am I willing to be "the bad guy" today, so that they can enjoy their life tomorrow? How do I want them to learn about consequences? Is it going to be by watching their brother fall, falling themselves tomorrow, or by the sting of discipline today?

Lying Tongue

Proverbs 12:19-20, "Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment. There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil, but joy for those who promote peace."

I went to bed last night thinking of the people I know, those who I thought I could trust, but because of their lying, I no longer trust anything about them. If there is anything that can ruin your relationships more, it is the lying we do to ourselves and to others. I have been this person. I have lied to those that I said that I loved. That road was the hardest to repave than any other. It was the lying to myself that I had to face first. We have a tendency to believe what we ourselves say. Our heart always knows the truth, but we can convince our minds to believe it. In Proverbs 6, seven things that the Lord hates are listed. Lying is the second. For when you lie about one thing, chances are you will lie about anything. Then no one can trust you.

Here are a few examples that most anyone can relate to. You (I) have either been this person, or you know them. First, if you have maxed out your credit card, then instead of paying it off, you go out and get another to do the same with; you are not only a lier, but a thief. When we do this we really have no intention of paying for that item, or that trip, or that.... you can fill in the blank. When we do this we are not only lying to the credit card people, but we are lying to those who see us spend money that way. We are pretending to be someone we are not. We become prideful and arrogant. Another example is someone that has gotten a divorce and blamed everything that went wrong on their spouse. The tendency is to blame everything on the other person, instead of recognizing your own sins in the relationship. I think this could be one reason why the bible says not to get a divorce. It is because we have a tendency to go on believing our own lies. For example: If when you are married and you have a messy house and you blame your spouse for that mess, who is to blame if you are still living in a mess when you no longer live with that person? When I was married to my ex I blamed him for my drug use. When he was no longer around, whose fault was it when I was still sneaking around getting high!

We are constantly lying to ourselves and in doing this we remain in bondage. In order to get out of that bondage we must learn to see ourselves for what we really are instead of blaming others and trying to not only deceive them, but deceive ourselves as well. We have been called to walk in truth and light. In order to do this we must first be truthful to ourselves about everything. We cannot blame our spouse for our bad decisions, or our bad attitude. He has called us to be a good example for them no matter what they are doing. Our society has made it very easy for us to walk around as liers. We have Internet and televisions in our homes, so no one can really see what we are looking at. We have credit cards and loans from banks, so it looks like we have more money than we really do. We can easily get a divorce and move on to our next spouse. We as a society have placed the blame on everyone else so much that no one is responsible any longer for their own sins. We no longer even call it a sin, but a mistake. If we do not come out and start looking at ourselves for what we really are, we will no longer need Christ and the cross. It is in seeing ourselves and our sins for what they really are that we can turn to Him and ask for forgiveness. It is in seeing and admitting truth that His truth and freedom reigns.

Eventually no one will believe a word you say, so you must first stop believing your own lies. Look to the truth and the truth will set you free. Anyone who walks in the darkness will stumble, but all who walk in the light of truth will be able to run freely. Can you see where you are walking, or are you walking blind thinking that others cannot see you either? There is only one who is blind in a relationship and that is the lier themselves.

Listening to God Today

Oswald Chambers, "We always have visions, before a thing is made real. When we realize that although the vision is real, it is not real in us, then is the time that Satan comes in with his temptations, and we are apt to say it is no use to go on. Instead of the vision becoming real, there has come the valley of humiliation.
'Life is not as idle ore,
But iron dug from central gloom,
And batter'd by the shocks of doom
To shape and use.'
God gives us the vision, then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way. Every vision will be made real if we will have patience. Think of the enormous leisure of God! He is never in a hurry. We are always in such a frantic hurry. In the light of the glory of the vision we go forth to do things, but the vision is not real in us yet; and God has to take us into the valley, and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the place where He can trust us with the veritable reality. Ever since we had the vision God has been at work, getting us into the shape of the ideal, and over and over again we escape from His hand and try to batter ourselves into our own shape."

This morning I started my reading with Oswald. I don't usually do this, but this morning I did and in this I was reminded of my vision that God has given me. He has asked me to share with others what I have learned. Most people do not want to share with everyone everything about their life. Most people probably should not share everything, for this is not easy and if God had not asked me to do this then I would not be able to withstand the pressures afterward. But I have been called to do this. It burns within me and I cannot help but to do what I am doing. We all have something like this within each of us. We are here to be of use by God and if we will allow Him to speak to us, we can hear the call within us.

The hard part of allowing God to do His work in His timing. Some may think they have a great vision, but instead of allowing God to work through them, they take the matter into their own hands. This is a dangerous thing to do for like Abimelech in Judges 8:31-9:57, you can become overconfident, power hungry and ruthless. He took advantage of his father's position without imitating his father's character. This is something that I see many people doing. They think that since they have been born into a family that has established a reputation that reputation is theirs, without realizing that they are responsible for their own actions and what they do with their life. Many live on their families vision, without listening to the individual call of God upon their individual life.

Yet, others settle for no vision at all, just like Oswald said, "and we are apt to say it is no use to go on. Instead of the vision becoming real, there has come the valley of humiliation." Or we take the easy road and give our life little responsibility and pretend that doing really nothing to stretch yourself for God is a humble thing to do. This is the easy, yet very unfulfilling walk of most of us.

God never puts a desire within us and stands back and either expects us to go out and achieve it in our own time in our own way, or for us to feel like we are not worthy of this calling and that it is foolish for us to dream. If we are seeking Him and what His desires are, then we will always succeed. We will alway find a fulfillment in this life that nothing else could ever give us in our own searches.

Psalm 25, "O Lord, I give my life to you. I trust in you, my God! Do not let me be disgraced, or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat. No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced, but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others. Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you. Remember, O Lord, your compassion and unfailing love, which you have shown from long ages past. Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth. Remember me in the light of your unfailing love, for you are merciful, O Lord. The Lord is good and does what is right; He shows the proper path to those who go astray. He leads the humble in doing right, teaching them His way. The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness all who keep His covenant and obey His demands. For the honor of your name, O Lord, forgive my many, many sins. Who are those who fear the Lord? He will show them the path they should choose."

Has God shown you your path? Are you willing to reach out and to be used by God in every chance He gives you? Are you claiming God's ways, but actually walking in your own? Are we listening to God today??

God Didn't do it, I did

Genesis 50:20, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position..." My God is so good. What Satan intends for evil, He can make good. This, in and of itself, is a mighty secret and a wonderful show of His love and mercy. This is also a trap that Satan lays in front of many believers. This is a trap that he has laid in front of me. All of the terrible decisions and hurtful things that I have ever done, have been part of my journey to this specific place and time. The trap is set when I start thinking that God wanted me to go through those things in order to be where I am now. We have a tendency to excuse our sin. We may say something like, "He wants more for me and look at the good that came as a result of..." This simple statement can be misleading and a lie. For "God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation... And remember, no one who wants to do wrong should ever say, 'God is tempting me.' God is never tempted to do wrong, and He never tempts anyone else either. Temptation comes from our own evil desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death." (Jms 1:12-15)

“When you fall into sin, the smallest price you pay is only the wounding you bring to yourself-- You grieve the heart of God and embarrass the community of Christ” (RZ) It is so easy to dress our sin up and call it good, for look at what God has done with it. Trust me, God never intended me to jump into sin the way that I did. He never wanted me take what He meant for good and for me to use it for evil. He never wanted me to ruin a marriage and destroy many lives, just so that I could say that He loves me and He wanted to bring me to this point in my life.

Gen 45:5-8, Joseph said to his brothers, "But don’t be upset, and don’t be angry with yourselves for selling me to this place. It was God who sent me here ahead of you... God has sent me ahead of you... So it was God who sent me here, not you!" Do you know that it would be so easy for me to look at these verses and give my sin a glorious title of, "It was God who wanted me to do those things." But that would be a lie, and I cannot grieve His heart more by trying to cover my sin with a lie. Joseph during all of his pain and every pit of life that he found himself in, he did not sin against God. God did not tempt him to do wrong, so that one day He could be glorified. God took what someone else wanted for evil and turned it to good. Joseph patiently endured the testing and the temptations, and so God blessed him, but I didn't do that at all. My temptation came from my own evil desires. Those evil desires did lead to sinful actions that resulted in a death of my first marriage. So don't be misled. Do not give yourself an excuse to do what your own evil desires want, then place the blame on God. For that is never His intent. All that does is embarrass the community of Christ and grieve the heart of God. The only way to truly live in freedom is to admit what you have done, as your own evil desires. Then the Cross can be seen and His glory can redeem a life that was once very broken.

Once you have admitted your sin, as your sin really is, don't keep punishing yourself for your sin. For, that too is a lie that Satan tries to inflict upon us. In order for your actions to truly reflect the love of God, we must learn to accept His sacrifice He paid. If we do not fully accept His forgiveness, then we do not fully accept the Cross. I fully enjoy my life that God has blessed. He is a God of second chances. He is a God that wants to bless, even though I do not deserve His blessings. Why would I choose to try and pay for a debt that has already been paid. I have screwed up big time, but I live to enjoy the life He gives me today. If I didn't, I couldn't enjoy my husband that I now have, or my children. The steps are; Confession, tell the truth of your sin; Repentance, turn away from..., and never go down that same road again; Forgiveness, learn to let God and others forgive you, so that you can live free in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Self-Pitying Pit

The pits of life- got to love those pits. I think Beth Moore said this, "God allowed Joseph to to be broken down in the pit. Your not supposed to live in the pit, but learn from it. The pit can lead to a total break down, or a total break through, but that is up to you. God is preparing you for what He has for you while you are in the pit. He is able to work with you in the pit. It's not about, 'Why me?' It is about, 'What now?'" It is about seeing how He can use you to touch others after you have been freed from your own pit.

When Joseph was 17, his brothers threw him in his first pit. He was probably pretty cocky and bragging to his brothers about his dreams and his coat. He needed to learn a little humility. Then in Genesis 39, he was sold to Potiphar where he quickly became the head of everything Potiphar owned. This was not his final pit. Through no fault of his own, he was thrown into yet another prison. Where he remained for several years. (41:46), "Joseph was thirty years old when he entered the service of Pharaoh, the king of Egypt." Joseph's pit dwelling took place off and on, more in the pit than out, for thirteen years. Time after time Joseph found himself on this roller-coaster of pit dwelling and none of it was really his fault. But it was during these times that he learned about his gifts and how to lean on God no matter what.

I have been in the pits, more times than I can count. There have been the pits of my own choices and there have been the ones where it seems I was thrown in by someone else. There have been the self-pitying ones, where it just seems like God is taking care of everyone else, but wanting me to go through yet another hard time. I recently spent sometime in this self-pitying pit.

Matthew 20, "The workers who were hired about the eleventh hour came and each received a denarius. So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius. When they received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. 'These men who were hired last worked only one hour,' they said, 'and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.' But he answered one of them, 'Friend, I am not being unfair to you...'"

My self-pitying pit is one of those pits that I choose to be in. It is about looking at other people and saying, "but you gave them..., you did....for them." It is a pit that is all about looking at my sorrows, instead of my blessings. This time, it was my pit of MS. Saying, "Why wont You take this from me? Why wont You let me have this one the easy way? Instead of me having to always be the one to go the extra mile and work harder than others for just the basics in life." Why is it that when He has asked us to walk with Him, we expect Him to make it easy for us. If my MS were healed today, tomorrow I would still want more. It is not about getting out of the pit. It is all about learning to lean on God while we are still in the pit. When you are in a pit, whether because of someone else, or a choice you have made, or just because you are alive; The question we must ask is, Can we still walk with God and sing His praises, while we are in the pit? Are you a Christian, because of what you can get out of being a Christian? Or are you a Christ follower, because Christ is God? Do I love Him? I used to love Him because He got me out of a pit. Now I must love Him because He is the Almighty!