My name was Hayden

I was reading this morning from Matthew 25, Jesus was telling the parables of the ten bridesmaids, the loaned money, and the final judgment. How I can relate all of these to both my present life and my past. We are to be ready for his coming; we cannot be dependant on someone else. What matters is how we are living and how we are using the talkets that God has already given us. Are we helping others around us? When we see a need; are we doing what we can to help, or are we expecting someone else to take care of it? Do we live every day as if, we really expect Jesus to come tomorrow? There was a time in my life that I did not live, at all, like I thought Jesus was coming any time soon. I was in survival mode, just making through one day was a miracle.

My name was Hayden. I worked in the club and everybody new me as Hayden. I would relate myself to Hayden Fox on the show Coach, so that the men could innocently be watching the TV and thinking about me. I wanted to haunt every existence of their life. I wanted them to come back to me, I had them trapped. I would act like I was having the best time and yes, some of it was fun, but in secret I would call myself Hayden from Hades. Hades is the Greek word for the underworld, the realm of the dead or the grave. Inside I was dead, there was no life in my life, I was just existing, wasting air.

I have talents that God has blessed me with, everyone does. One of my talents is talking to people. I can talk to someone and instantly feel like I have known them my whole life. I wasted this talent in the club. I used it, but not for the right reasons. I used it for evil. I was a useless servant who refused to use my gifts and bring life. I was to be thrown out into the darkness, where there would be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

How sad it would have been to live this life in Hades, then to spend all of eternity there as well. How awful! How sad it is to chose to live that way. Yes, I had a choice, everyone does. You can either chose to live a selfish life, spending your days in misery. Or you can choose to use every opportunity to help others and in turn help yourself. People that are the most miserable are those who only do for themselves. If you have no other purpose in life, but to make yourself happy, you will be miserable. How sad it is for people to choose misery over a life of true freedom. I am free! I am no longer a slave to death, but I have a new life and a new name. I thank my Lord for my new name.