What is your Price?

To my sweet friend,

There have been so many times in my life that I have suffered because of decisions that I walked into, knowing I would pay the price later. I thought that it would be worth it in the end and the consequences were not really all that bad. How young and foolish, I was. I was a stupid young girl. It was Eve that was deceived by Satan. He came and enticed her because he knew she was vulnerable. He comes at the perfect opportunity when he knows you are wallowing in selfishness, when he knows you cannot resist because of the solitude you put yourself into. We grasp and search for the love that only one can fulfill. I jumped into relationship after relationship because I did not really believe in God and his power to work my life for my best. I did not love me and so how could I possibly love anyone. I searched and fell for every lie that this world offers. I thought that if I could just have fun; the hurt would not hurt so badly. I just knew that if I surrounded myself with anything, it did not matter who or what it was, as long as I was sure to be filled for the moment. I thought that if I did this, I would be able to survive for just one more day. Trust me, that is all that it got me, one more day; one more day of misery, one more day to look at myself in disgust with self hatred.

How many times did I get into bed with some guy just to satisfy a feeling of emptiness? How many times did I leave that bed and feel even emptier? You cannot fill a void with a man to hold just one night. How many women prostitute themselves; for just one night of deception? That night is not worth it! The fruit that you will harvest will never taste sweet. It will leave you bitter, sour, broken and crushed. You are the one in control of your life. You can choose life or death, but you cannot have both.

I was in such a hurry to get on with my life. I wanted so desperately to get swept away and rescued that I left with the first guy that would run away with me. I ended up more hurt than I could ever have imagined. Do you see this? Your whole life is right in front of you. You are smart, beautiful and fun. Why would you sell yourself to a man who does not love himself and could never love you because of this? In order to save your life, you must love yourself more than that... I never wanted to be a prostitute. I did not take money for sex, but I gave away sex for someone to hold me. The price is too high. The cost is not worth the result. The payment that you receive is never worth the price that you originally paid. He can never satisfy that lonely feeling you are so desperately running from. You must take control of your life. You must learn to let God take care of you. You must learn that you are so worth the wait. Do you see this? Do you see how valuable you are? Every time you choose the world; you are choosing to pay a price you were never meant to pay. Do not sell yourself to someone who does not love you and can never fill you. You are more valuable than rubies. Save your treasures for someone who will cherish you. Do not sell yourself for a price that is never enough.