Multiple Personality Disorder

Matthew 15, Jesus said, "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far away. Their worship is a farce, for they replace God's commands with their own man-made teachings. Listen to what I say and try to understand...you are defiled by what you say and do...Every plant that is not planted by my heavenly Father will be rooted up, so ignore them. They are blind guides leading the blind...Don't you understand? Anything you eat passes through the stomach and goes out of the body. But evil words come from an evil heart and defile the person who says them. For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all other sexual immorality, theft, lying and slander. These are what defile you."

I have to look at every part of Jesus and what He said. I look at His teachings on love and on patience and I look also at His teachings on "the hard stuff." I look at Him and His teachings of love, this helps me to see how much He loves me and how I am to love others. I am not to look at others in the moment, but I am to look at them and love them where they are. I must have compassion for them. I am to always expect them to listen to God and to love them as God loves even me. But when I look at myself, I am to look at what is in my heart. I am to continually be evaluating myself and make sure that I am not being led away or deceiving myself. I am to look at my heart to know who is truly loving me, for He is continually speaking to my heart, but I am to look at my actions to see who I am loving.

I must, every day, turn to Jesus for His guidance. I have to give Him the respect and position that He deserves in my life. I know that I cannot do anything right without Him. I have to turn every day, every moment over to Him. When I loose my patience; when I am disrespectful to my husband; when I want what I want, I know that I am not turning to Him in that situation. Sometimes I feel like I have multiple personality disorder, because I can be all about Jesus then I loose it, but I do not have to fear because He has great love and patience for me. I used to rely totally on myself and in that, I was living only for myself. I now turn every day toward Him. I know who I am, I am not wise, but with Him, I can live for Him. I can truly say that my life reflects my walk with my Lord. I am not perfect, by any means, but I do walk with Him. I try and live every part of my life to please Him. No one can see my every day walk, those times when I am all alone, but I can and so can He, and that is all that matters.

In order to know who I really am, all I have to do is to look at what I think about the most. What consumes my every desire? There was a time when every though was for the next rush. What was I going to be experiencing next. It is very easy to see what consumes your thought life. For example, when you get on the computer, what is the thing that drives your passion? What are more likely to want to look at? This is a very easy test. "It is your thought life that defiles you." When you look at your thought life from open eyes, you can see where your true desire lies. I make many mistakes, but I know where most of my thought life is. Most of my every thought is for Him. I am not tempted like I used to be, I can hear Him better than I used to. There was a time when I truly did not see the wrong that I was doing. My life was not for Him, so my eyes were blind. I had to start consciously asking Him to help me see. Now my answers come very fast, most of the time I can hear Him speaking right in the middle of my "fits" and I must submit to Him and acknowledge that I was wrong.

I am so thankful for my new life. I am so thankful that God has turned my desires from evil so that now my thought life revolves around Him. I am very aware of my feelings and my thoughts. When I am being led away, I can hear Him calling me back. It is not so hard anymore. I am not living in sin any more. I know that I am not, because I am constantly checking myself. Everyone must be diligent in seeking Him, for Satan has come to "steal and destroy." Satan is constantly trying to get us to believe lies and he wants us to be deceived so that we do not see who we really are. He wants us to live in sin so that we are blind to Christ and what He wants for us in our lives. We must ask ourselves every day, "Am I honoring God with my lips and my life?"