Our Own Evil Desires

James, I have to camp out here for a while. I love this book. It does not allow me to have any excuses for the foolish ways in which I have lived.
(1:12ff), "God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, 'God is tempting me.' God is never tempted to do wrong, and He never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from the lure of our own evil desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. (1 Cor 6:9, Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols (idols, what draws your eyes away from God), or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.) So don’t be misled... Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it. If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless."

Okay this is a long one, but I could stay here forever, verse by verse. So much is brought to my attention as I read this. In the past, I would let others guide me. I became a stripper, because of my ex husbands desires. But when I read this, it places the blame back on me. "Temptation comes from our own evil desires, which entice us and drag us away." So I cannot blame anyone for anything. Even now, when I loose my tempter with my boys, or anyone, it is my fault. I am held accountable, for I am in charge of how I act and how I treat others.

I know how God wants me to lead my life. I know it, because I was brought up with His word continually being placed in my heart. I choose to fool myself, look into the mirror of His law and walk away forgetting what I know is right. Every time I don't act appropriately, it is my choice and I am only fooling myself. No one else buys my deceit, for I am the only one deceived in those moments. Everyone else can see, for they are looking at me for what I really am, a person wanting to sin. Then I turn around and say that I don't know why I cannot control myself. It is because I am choosing to "loose it." No one else is to blame. No, you are tempted by your own evil desires.

Oswald Chambers, "The moral law does not consider our weaknesses as human beings; in fact, it does not take into account our heredity or infirmities. It simply demands that we be absolutely moral...The moral law, ordained by God, does not make itself weak to the weak by excusing our shortcomings. It remains absolute for all time and eternity... 'I was alive once without the law, but when the commandment came, sin revived and I died' (Romans7:9). The moment we realize this, the Spirit of God convicts us of sin. Until a person gets there and sees that there is no hope, the Cross of Christ remains absurd to him...There is only one way by which I can get right with God, and that is through the death of Jesus Christ. I must get rid of the underlying idea that I can ever be right with God because of my obedience. Who of us could ever obey God to absolute perfection!"

I am so thankful that I can turn all of my inadequacies toward Christ. I am so thankful that He does not expect me to be perfect. I am so thankful that He does not excuse my bad behavior, so that I am a slave to that behavior forever, either. He gives me the chance to change. He provides me the tools, so that I do not have to live in sin. If I will open my eyes to who I really am, then I can see who He really is. If I will open my eyes to who I am without Him, then I can turn my everyday life over to Him. It is in starting off every day in recognition to who I am, who He is, that this day will be a better one than yesterday. Christ is my Savior, my Helper, my Redeemer, my Lord. I deserve to die, for I know how bad I really am. He took my sin upon the cross and paid the debt that I owe, every day.

"God, please give me the strength and tools for this day, so I can live a life that pleases you, today. Thank you for covering my sin today, with your blood, so that I can live in peace every day."

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/12/01/devotion.aspx?year=2009