Role Reversal

1 Peter 1, "So think clearly and exercise self-control... Obey God because you are His children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, 'You must be holy because I am holy.' ...For you have been born again. Your new life did not come from your earthly parents because the life they gave you will end in death. But this new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living word of God...”

One of the hardest things that I have to conquer still today, is when I return to my parents home. It is not even that my family is really all that hard to get along with. In reality, I have a very good family that is easy to be around. The hard part comes from me. I have a tendency to forget who I am today, in my home, and become this other person that once lived in their home. I slip back into my old ways of relating with my dad and with my mom. I carry childhood feelings with me when I am around my brothers. Everything reverts back to who I used to be. My attitude changes. I become this little girl, who wants my mom to wait on me. I become this bratty sibling that feels it is all about me. To conquer this I have to change my focus. I have to change my focus away from them changing their behavior toward me, to me changing toward them.

For the past couple of years I have been working on my attitude for when I go home. The entire way to Texas, I am concentrating on me and how I am going to react to everyone. I have no expectations for them. In fact, I expect them to be the same. If I expect them to be different, then I am setting myself up for disappointment and reverting myself.

This last trip home for Thanksgiving was the best yet. Honestly, I do not know if they were different, or if it was me, but it was better. However, I could still see things that I was doing that I need to let go of. I fear that I am still disrespectful to my dad and I hate that. I just want so desperately to connect with him, but somehow the TV always gets in the way. Then the disrespect comes flowing. How sorry I am for this. But for the most part, this trip was better.

When we go back home, it is like we are going back to who we left behind in ourselves. I would have to say that this is why the holidays can be so hard for so many. It is not really them, but who we become when we are around them. So if you look at it as everyone feels this way, they are becoming who they used to be when they are around us. We all are reverting and no one is allowed to be who they are in Christ, now. My mother becomes the mother of a little girl again. My dad becomes the father he used to be, and my brothers become the older brother again. We all revert. I believe the key to this whole family dynamic, begins with me. I am the only one I can control. I have to always be prepared, "think clearly and exercise self-control... Obey God because you are His children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living"

My earthly parents have done their work here. My brothers have loved me as older brothers. My role has changed. I am now the child of God and I must act like it, no matter where I am. So before you revert to who you used to be, remember who you are now, and take that person with you. Have grace for those who are having a hard time as well. Be prepared for yourself, so you don't slip back to who you used to be. Love them. Love yourself. Remember whose you really are now, before the temptation comes for you to slip back. Have a very Merry Christmas.