Unanswered Prayers

I really want to be able to do this... it may take some time.

The other day I asked to be healed. I have been asking this of God for some time, but the other day I took it to our church. James 5:14, "Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well..." So, I did this in faith. We got together and prayer in faith was offered. I just knew that I would walk out of that room a healed woman. I found so much healing there, but what I was asking for, I did not find! I still cannot use my hands. I have to type using one finger at a time. So trust me this is taking some time. I left that room with so many different feelings, but healed was not one of them.

Why? Why does He tell us to come to Him, if He has no intention of answering us? Why does He ask me to put my heart on the line, and trust that I will be healed "instantly?" I come in prayer, fasting, and faith. Does He hear me? Does He care?

These were some of my questions that night and the next morning. I cried in anguish. My heart was broken and my body still dead. But as I cried, my Lord was with me, and I could hear Him. "You are my child. Do you love Me?" Yes Lord, you know that I love you. "Do you know that I love you?" Yes Jesus, I know that You love me. My tears were a steady stream flowing from my face, out of my heart. As the conversation continued, my pain was felt, and my Lord revealed.

I know my Lord. I know what it is like to be truly alone, with no one to hear me cry. I now have a relationship with my Father, and I know that He hears me, for I hear Him. The next night we had the Christmas Eve service at church. When I got there my spirits were better, but my heart was still heavy. Then the service began, and in that worship my joy was renewed. I felt the life of Christ restoring my heart, and I was risen again in Him. It is really not about me. It is not about his birth, miracles He preformed, or the life He led. It is about the Cross. I am sanctified, washed, saved, healed, restored, made new and whole again; all because of the Cross. I am saved because He lived, died, and rose again. He conquered death for me. He paid the debt I owe. I am truly a blessed woman, because I am His child.

My life is renewed and my joy is complete in Him, but I will not stop asking, hoping, and praying for my total physical restoration. He wants me to come to Him with every need. I need to be able to talk with my Lord. I need to know that I am not alone and that He cares. I do this through my prayers with Him. Luke 18:1-8, "Then Jesus told His disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: 'In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.' For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' And the Lord said, 'Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to Him day and night? Will He keep putting them off? I tell you, He will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?"

"Oh my God, how I love You. Even when I feel You are not answering my request, I know You are here. Thank You, for being the God that I love and know. Even if in my body I suffer, I am not alone. I thank You most for this. Thank You, for saving me through the Cross. Thank You for loving me more. My request is still the same. Please heal my body, restore the feeling to my hands. But until then, I will sing about my joy in You. I will wait in You, until You heal me..."