Mercy and Grace, Judgement and Love

I had a conversation yesterday with one of my friends that took me back in time, back to another life. 

A life time ago....
A warm summers day, the sand is warm beneath her feet. The water coming and going, one wave after another is rushing, then retreating. The air is thick with humidity. The sea gulls are above in the sky, they are below running toward the water as it leaves. A young woman dressed... hardly dressed at all, she is alone by the water. Her only companion is her beloved dog who seems to protect her from her stupidity as guys are driving by, then turning around to take another look. She seems brazen as she buys the lie of her young illusionary power. She seems indifferent. She thinks she likes this. She has forgotten. She has buried her emotions, her dreams with the constant flow of beta blockers that she keeps flowing through her veins. She is dying, but she believes she is living.

Another story, someone else's life....
A young mom, she is one of the viewed leaders of the church. She teaches and she preaches, but on Saturday night the bar is calling. The house is loud. Children are fighting. The announcers on the TV are reaching highs and lows as they anticipate the next play. There he is, just sitting there, lost in some game while her world is reeling. The keys, the car, the bar, this is her chance to have a pretend moment. A get away into another life that she dreams about, maybe this time she can turn her dreams into reality. The escape that is constantly right at her fingertips, but that is always just far enough that keeps her straining.

Two different women. Two different situations. How do you see them? Are they the same? Are they different? How do you treat them? Do you treat them the same or do you treat them differently? The one similarity, they are both lost.

Some people say that you treat everyone the same. They say, you give this person this, and that person the same thing because you must keep it fair. I say that is a lie. That is an excuse some use so that they will not be held accountable for what they are doing. Others use this excuse because in order to deal with people as individuals, you must get to know them. You have to get personal and personal is the part that is easiest to avoid. And lets face it, no on wants to be that person calling anyone out. For those of us who really know ourselves, we know we all mess up, we have all sinned.

"It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, 'You must remove the evil person from among you,'” 1 Corinthians 5:12.

But then you say, "Jesus said, If you judge other people, then you too will be judged. See the log in your eye. You have enough of your own stuff. Do not judge... period."

That too is false. Take a good look at the scripture, Matthew 7:1-5. He is not saying, not to judge, but how. Yes, we must first take a good look at ourselves. I used two very different, but similar women. The first was not someone seen as a leader, but as someone lost. The second woman put herself in a position of leadership at a church, but was also lost.   "Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly.  Indeed, we all make many mistakes." James 3:1

The difference was their message. What they were themselves proclaiming to live. This is so touchy. This is the hard part about being in a family, learning to love. Sometimes love is all about grace and mercy. Sometimes if you treat another person the same way, you become an enabler and are the cause of their destruction.

Someone recently made a comment on one of my blogs, "The challenge for me now is to know how to love others as they are, but not to enable them to continue on as they want to be." This is the hard part of growing. As I have traveled through this life, from the beach, to the teacher. I have had to handle situations differently, but gently. I have not gotten them all right, but I must deal with them anyway. Learning and stumbling along the way, but my heart is trying. As young men and women come into my home I must handle them with mercy and gentleness, but the same? Now that would be a shame. Each person is beautifully unique. I would not be showing them their value if they were treated equally. What value is a diamond if it is looked upon as just another piece of cut glass? Would I be showing the seasoned Christ follower, the one who knows the scriptures by heart, any sort of love if I treated them and expected the same from them as I would the drug addicted person on the street? Is that love? What is love? You know the person individually. We are to see others as Christ sees us and He knows us personally.

The problem is that we get our love and mercy confused. We judge the world. I see Christians on my college campus pointing their fingers and shouting at my kids about sin. That is no sort of love and not a part of my God. And at the same time, I see other Christians saying do not judge as one of their leaders is leading in a most despicable way toward the grave. There is balance in love. Sometimes we take the most unclothed, cover them with mercy and grace, till they are warmed with love. And other times we must step up to the hard plate and call someone out. But both are act of His love. This is why we are to get to know our Lord. Daily reading His words so that we are not confused about our roles in His world.

"The people who influence us the most are not those who detain us with their continual talk, but those who live their lives like the stars in the sky and “the lilies of the field”— simply and unaffectedly. Those are the lives that mold and shape us." Oswald Chambers

Smallest Price

“When you fall into sin, the smallest price you pay is only the wounding you bring to yourself-- You grieve the heart of God and embarrass the community of Christ,” (RZ).

2 Samuel 12, "The LORD sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, 'There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him. Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.' David burned with anger against the man... Then Nathan said to David, 'You are the man!...' Then David said to Nathan, 'I have sinned against the LORD.' Nathan replied, 'The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. But because by doing this you have made the enemies of the LORD show utter contempt...'"

There are so many lessons in the life of David. It is when his sin gets called to his attention that we can see his true heart, and this is when we can learn our own lessons with our own sin. Just like us, David was blind to his sin when he was doing it. Oh yes, he knew it was wrong, but in his effort to get what he wanted, God's ways became blind to him and all he could do was focus on his own desires. It is in the revealing of his sin that we see his heart. His heart is not necessarily revealed because he sinned, but what he did with the realization of his sin after his eyes were opened. He hit his knees, begged for forgiveness, and did not go down that road again. This is why in Acts 13:22, God said that David was a "man after my own heart." It was not that David would never sin, but that when he did sin, he truly repented. He didn't just say, "Well I am sorry I got caught," but his heart was broken. However, the true effect of his sin was upon God, and His reputation.

When we as Christians sin, we are not just affecting ourselves, but we are affecting how others view God. This is what should grieve us the most! Because of Christ, our sin is forgiven, but the damage we have done in others eyes is enormous. The question that we must constantly be asking our own heart is, "Do we grieve because we are caught in sin, or because we have damaged the view of Christ others see in us?" This is actually an easier test than one may imagine. When you are caught doing something, do you still find ways to get a portion of what you were caught doing, no matter how small that portion is? If you are still trying to steal little portions, your heart is tattling on you. “The seat of sin is in the heart and will, not only in the action,” (RZ).

Definition of sin-- “Whatever weakens your reasoning, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes away your relish for spiritual things. In short, if anything increases the authority and power of the flesh over the spirit, then that to you becomes sin, however good it is in itself.” (Susana Wesley, RZ)

We all sin. No one is perfect. But, our hearts desire is revealed in what we do after that sin is revealed to us, either by the Holy Spirit (our conscience), or by someone else. David still had to suffer the consequences of his sin, and so must we. The true test of our heat is what we do with our sin after we have discovered it. Are we still trying to live the lie and steal little pieces of our desire wherever we can get it, or has our heart been turned away from that desire and toward God. Christ's blood has forgiven and washed us clean, but what are we really showing to others when we live a life in hypocrisy?

Lying Tongue

Proverbs 12:19-20, "Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment. There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil, but joy for those who promote peace."

I went to bed last night thinking of the people I know, those who I thought I could trust, but because of their lying, I no longer trust anything about them. If there is anything that can ruin your relationships more, it is the lying we do to ourselves and to others. I have been this person. I have lied to those that I said that I loved. That road was the hardest to repave than any other. It was the lying to myself that I had to face first. We have a tendency to believe what we ourselves say. Our heart always knows the truth, but we can convince our minds to believe it. In Proverbs 6, seven things that the Lord hates are listed. Lying is the second. For when you lie about one thing, chances are you will lie about anything. Then no one can trust you.

Here are a few examples that most anyone can relate to. You (I) have either been this person, or you know them. First, if you have maxed out your credit card, then instead of paying it off, you go out and get another to do the same with; you are not only a lier, but a thief. When we do this we really have no intention of paying for that item, or that trip, or that.... you can fill in the blank. When we do this we are not only lying to the credit card people, but we are lying to those who see us spend money that way. We are pretending to be someone we are not. We become prideful and arrogant. Another example is someone that has gotten a divorce and blamed everything that went wrong on their spouse. The tendency is to blame everything on the other person, instead of recognizing your own sins in the relationship. I think this could be one reason why the bible says not to get a divorce. It is because we have a tendency to go on believing our own lies. For example: If when you are married and you have a messy house and you blame your spouse for that mess, who is to blame if you are still living in a mess when you no longer live with that person? When I was married to my ex I blamed him for my drug use. When he was no longer around, whose fault was it when I was still sneaking around getting high!

We are constantly lying to ourselves and in doing this we remain in bondage. In order to get out of that bondage we must learn to see ourselves for what we really are instead of blaming others and trying to not only deceive them, but deceive ourselves as well. We have been called to walk in truth and light. In order to do this we must first be truthful to ourselves about everything. We cannot blame our spouse for our bad decisions, or our bad attitude. He has called us to be a good example for them no matter what they are doing. Our society has made it very easy for us to walk around as liers. We have Internet and televisions in our homes, so no one can really see what we are looking at. We have credit cards and loans from banks, so it looks like we have more money than we really do. We can easily get a divorce and move on to our next spouse. We as a society have placed the blame on everyone else so much that no one is responsible any longer for their own sins. We no longer even call it a sin, but a mistake. If we do not come out and start looking at ourselves for what we really are, we will no longer need Christ and the cross. It is in seeing ourselves and our sins for what they really are that we can turn to Him and ask for forgiveness. It is in seeing and admitting truth that His truth and freedom reigns.

Eventually no one will believe a word you say, so you must first stop believing your own lies. Look to the truth and the truth will set you free. Anyone who walks in the darkness will stumble, but all who walk in the light of truth will be able to run freely. Can you see where you are walking, or are you walking blind thinking that others cannot see you either? There is only one who is blind in a relationship and that is the lier themselves.

Exposed

Today is good Friday. All this week I have been reading Matthew 21-27, looking at what happened after Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem. He entered the city with shouts of joy from the crowd. They were praising Him, "'Hosanna to the Son of David!' 'Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!' 'Hosanna in the highest!'" I have been concentrating on what lead to the dramatic change of events. They went from praising Him, to shouting, "Crucify Him!" So what happened what changed them so dramatically. Most of the time we concentrate our study on the second coming, or on Mary anointing Jesus' feet, or Peter's denial, or even Judas' betrayal, but I have wanted to know what really set things in motion. The truth is what set peoples hearts on fire against Him. It really was not truth about Him, but truth about them.

(23:1-36), "Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, 'The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses. So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach. They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden. Everything they do is for show... Hypocrites!... Hypocrites!... Hypocrites! Blind guides!... Hypocrites!'"

It was Jesus pointing out the truth in people that turned the crowds. No one likes to be exposed for what they really are. We try to cover and hide our sinful nature. We don't want others to tell us that we are wrong. We can all be put into the category of hypocrite. We want people to think that we are mostly good at heart, but when someone comes and exposes what we are doing as the truth, we want to fight against them and turn others against them as well. It isn't just the "teachers" that do this, but everyone. We all want everyone to agree with our life choices. We all want to say that what we do is not really all that bad. It is hard when someone calls us out and exposes us. Our tendency is to fight against the truth others see in us, until the bottom falls out and there is no other way to run from it. The problem with this approach, is the destruction we cause along the way.

Oswald Chambers, "When Paul received his sight, he also received spiritual insight into the Person of Jesus Christ. His entire life and preaching from that point on were totally consumed with nothing but Jesus Christ— 'For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified' ( 1 Corinthians 2:2 ). Paul never again allowed anything to attract and hold the attention of his mind and soul except the face of Jesus Christ... Never allow anything to divert you from your insight into Jesus Christ. It is the true test of whether you are spiritual or not. To be unspiritual means that other things have a growing fascination for you. Since mine eyes have looked on Jesus, I’ve lost sight of all beside, So enchained my spirit’s vision, Gazing on the Crucified." Allow Jesus to expose the truth in your life. Allow Him to take away what you thought was pleasing, gratifying, and ultimately your destruction, so that you can finally walk free. Once your eyes are opened to the truth, the truth shall set you free. Take a look at the cross. How has your life lead to the Crucifixion of Christ?

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/04/02/devotion.aspx?year=2010

Wearing His Coat

How do I talk too anyone, if I cannot talk about my Lord? When I talk to others about being hurt, alone, or scared; how do I talk about these feelings, without sharing the One who rescued me? This is the only way I know how to tell my true history, and that is to include His story...
Psalm 55, "Listen to my prayer, O God. Do not ignore my cry for help! Please listen and answer me,for I am overwhelmed by my troubles...It is not an enemy who taunts me— I could bear that. It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me— I could have hidden from them. Instead, it is you—my equal, my companion and close friend. What good fellowship we once enjoyed as we walked together to the house of God...But I will call on God, and the Lord will rescue me. Morning, noon, and night I cry out in my distress, and the Lord hears my voice. He ransoms me and keeps me safe from the battle waged against me, though many still oppose me. God, who has ruled forever, will hear me and humble them... As for my companion, he betrayed his friends; he broke his promises. His words are as smooth as butter, but in his heart is war. His words are as soothing as lotion, but underneath are daggers! Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall."

There have been so many times in which I have been so hurt and beaten down by those who masquerade around under the title of Christian. I guess that is why I do not like certain titles. Instead of religious, I prefer, in love with my Savior. Instead of Christan, I prefer, Christ follower. For those people posing as religious and Christan, have given me the deepest wounds. They had an opportunity to give the fatal blows, because I let them close to me. I opened myself up to them and they in turn betrayed me. But because I have been hurt by people, does this mean that I stop loving my God? No, I cannot blame Him for the choices others make against Him. People are fallen. No one is perfect, so why would I turn my back on the only One who is. Why would I, but I have.

We have a tendency to want to blame someone, so we blame the One who we think is ultimately responsible for all our pain. We don't want to see that the person who is hurting us, is also hurting. We want to build walls and protect ourselves so we rage against the title and the One we see that is responsible for that title. When a company fails, it is the boss who takes the hardest hit, for the mistakes of those he hired. So when a Christian sins, it is Christ who takes the hit. It is His reputation that suffers. It becomes about the title, and anyone afterward who wears that title, begins with a mark of distrust. This all happens because someone wearing that coat before us, did not wear His coat well.

Ravi tells this story better than me, but I will give it a shot. A person comes in and puts on your coat and shoes. They then go out into the night and rob a store. The policeman sees your coat and your shoes as the robber is fleeing. When the policeman comes to your house he arrests you. In your defense you tell him that it was not you. But he does not believe you and says that he saw you, for it was your coat and shoes.

There are many people out there wearing someone else's coat. They are masquerading around as one thing, but being another. Then the true owner of that coat is blamed. He is beaten, slapped, spit upon, and sentenced to death. But He never tries to defend Himself, for He knows this is the only way. He came and died for everyone, even the ones who do not wear His coat well. "Jesus did not come into this world to make bad people good. He came to make dead people live." (RZ) We are doing ourselves a great injustice. We are rejecting life, if we reject Him, all because we have been robbed by someone wearing His coat.

How thankful I am for the family God has given me. How thankful I am that I did not continually shut the door on people, because of the hurt I have felt from others wearing the same coat. I would be missing out on my sweet sisters in Christ, who are there for me cheering me on, lifting me up when I am down. I would have missed out on a wonderful husband, if I had kept the door shut on him, all because of a previous marriage that went horribly wrong. I would be missing so many of my God given family members, if I never let anyone in because of past hurt. I would be all alone, with only my hurt to keep me company. I cannot hold a grudge against Him, for there has never been someone with more betrayal in their heart, than me. I cannot always wear His coat well. How could I expect others to do better than I do myself? Why would I willingly choose death, when He has freely offered me life. He has given each of us a family and friends. We just have to understand that His family is not perfect. Not everyone wears His coat well, but many are truly trying. I love the friends He has given me, but I understand that they are not perfect, for they need His grace just like I do. The questions that I must ask myself are; Do I show others the same acceptance and grace that He has shown me? Do I wear His coat well?