Partner with God

I love taking long drives with my husband. Trust me, yesterday was long, from Colorado to Texas. Usually the drive consists of a little sleeping; listening to music; chit chat; dealing with the boys and their TVs; and towards the end of the trip, the deep conversation begins. What can I say, it was a wonderful day, long, but wonderful. It is the only time where I have my husband's undivided attention and he has mine. Usually there is something else going on, but not in the car, and especially once we get on the flat plains of Texas.

I have been trying my best to come up with things to write about concerning marriage. I have a very easy time discussing my failures, and giving God the glory for my life now with Him. But I have difficult talking about what I have done in order to help this marriage be so wonderful. The last thing that I want to do is to come across like I think I know it all, because I know I don't. So I started asking Jason some questions, then the answers start coming. I love talking with my husband, he is so wise and I enjoy our conversations. Starting at the beginning of our success; my part was not so clear to me. I was a mess, but I knew that I must have done some things right. This is what Jason helped me to see.

We both started to "get it" about the same time. Our biggest struggle so far, was communication. I was so scared that I was going to be hurt again, and trust me, I gave him very little to be confident with as well. We were both very vulnerable and trying to hold on to our "security blankets." I never knew this until yesterday; Jason would read Ephesians 5, every week. I remember him mentioning that scripture, but I just thought he was "trying" to sound spiritual.

"you will submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church; He gave His life for to be her Savior. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything.
And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up His life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God's word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife... So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

This is what we began doing; I was trying to respect my husband and he was trying to show me love. We were turning to God, and giving our spouse what they needed. I was concentrating on Jason and what he needed from me, without thinking how it was going to benefit me. He was concentrating on what God was telling him that I needed. I needed unconditional love; he needed respect. I began letting him make the decisions. I would talk with him and share my concerns, but then I would drop it and let him decide; even when it was the wrong decision. I began following him and supporting him. I did not bring up his mistakes; I gave him the freedom to decide, wright or wrong. He started loving me. He started putting away what he wanted to do and started helping me around the house and with the boys. He started talking with me and becoming intimate with me on a spiritual level.

Once we stopped thinking about ourselves and what the other person was not doing for us, we started a close relationship. Our focus was God and what He wanted from us as individuals. What was He asking Jason to do as a husband? What was He asking from me as a wife? This became our drive. God has blessed every part of our relationship, because He became the center. Once you take your mind off of yourself, God can help you see things through His eyes. "Husbands, love your wife." What does she need you to do for her? "Wife, respect your husband." Let him lead you; let him make mistakes; become his cheerleader, there is a reason for cheerleaders at men's sporting events. Become partners with God, so He can bless your marriage. You become partners with God, whether your spouse is taking the first step or if it has to be you for quite some time. Partner with God in your marriage, so that He can be honored.