Perseverance

This morning I did my thing: got the boys their oatmeal, put on their shows, got my coffee and sat with my bible. I flipped through the pages and heard nothing. Sometimes there is nothing. Sometimes everything in life is quiet. Sometimes everything is still for a moment, but it is in these moments that everything is tested. Everything in my life is looking better. My MS is getting better, at least I am able to type somewhat normal now. Sophia's Kitchen seems to have had a great start. (A lunch program for our HS girls. They come eat for free and listen to a life lesson from one of the volunteers) I'm going to Kansas in a month to speak. I am seeing lives changed all around me, but this morning all is still. These are the times when doubt comes in. These are the moments when you feel very small. These are the moments when you tend to ask yourself, "Do I really do anything at all?"

Then I read Oswald Chambers, "Perseverance is more than endurance. It is endurance combined with absolute assurance and certainty that what we are looking for is going to happen. Perseverance means more than just hanging on, which may be only exposing our fear of letting go and falling. Perseverance is our supreme effort of refusing to believe that our hero is going to be conquered. Our greatest fear is not that we will be damned, but that some how Jesus Christ will be defeated. Also, our fear is that the very things our Lord stood for— love, justice, forgiveness, and kindness among men— will not win out in the end and will represent an unattainable goal for us. Then there is the call to spiritual perseverance. A call not to hang on and do nothing, but to work deliberately, knowing with certainty that God will never be defeated."

Revelation 3:10, “Because you have obeyed my command to persevere, I will protect you from the great time of testing that will come upon the whole world to test those who belong to this world." Is God really that small to me? I have been living on a high for God and with one quiet moment, is He really that small! For these are the doubts that start pilling in on top of me: No one reads this stuff anyway. Why do you really think you have anything to offer? Then it hits me like a brick. You do nothing for you. If you are to be small, that is fine. He is big and through your life, He can be seen and that is all that matters.

It is in these quiet moments that I can hear the true meaning of my life. My life is not for my enjoyment. It is not for my glory. It is not so that I can be on a constant high with Him. My life is small, and that is okay. I serve the Creator of the Universe. The LORD of lords, is who walks with me. He is big. He is all that matters. In those quiet moments do I hear His call? Will I persevere, even when the doubts of my calling come creeping in? I would have to say, yes. I'm writing aren't I. My LORD is big, and every little thing I do shows His greatness. In everything I do, I am called to worship Him. No matter what...

http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/my-utmost-for-his-highest/02/22/devotion.aspx?year=2010