Valentine

The first of February I entered a love letters contest through Focus on the Family. So almost every day I have been writing a new letter to Jason for this contest. Now the contest is over and I was not a winner, but I did win. My focus for Jason was restarted and my love ignited. Here are peaces of my letters put together for my husband. The reason for my love...

Jason,
"Through you, I have found the love of my LORD. The more in love with Christ I become, the more in love with you I am.
You took a broken woman and transformed me with God's love. I was a woman broken from drugs and the dark world of stripping. I was broken with MS. I was unlovable, yet you loved me anyway. I wore a scarlet letter. Now I am washed clean as the new day of snow. You are my Hosea!

When this journey began, I didn't want it. I tried my best to scare you away. I had already been married before, why would I want to do that again? Instead of running away from the ugliness of my past, your words were, “I think I am here to help you heal.” How true this was.

One day, several years ago, I looked at you and said, "I love you, but I am not in love with you." Words meant to harm, not comfort. Instead of giving up, you dug in, but in a way that no one had ever done for me before. You turned to Christ. "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." This became your scripture. You started treating me like you really thought Christ would treat me, and my hard heart softened. Honestly, after years of being put through a shredder, it only took a very short time and I was healed.

Thank you for listening to God, instead of running from what must have seemed an impossible challenge. You took the broken woman God was placing in front of you, and helped to make me whole. Why would anyone want to go there? My past was full of more pain than most anyone would ever want to face, but you were stronger than my past. Thank you for the willingness to walk with me on my journey.

You took every idea I ever had and changed the meaning to truth. I discovered the muscular strength of youth fades, but the inner strength of a godly man makes him big. When I was young I thought that the strength came from physical mass, but as I have watched you mature I have discovered just how strong you really are. You are the strongest man I have ever known.

Do you know that I love looking at your reflection in the mirror. For the image that I see, is not the man that stands beside me, but my Lord, Christ. When I think of you, I see Him. You showed me Christ in a way no other ever taught me. When I see you walk into a room, my heart jumps knowing you are here. No other could ever compare to you. I am confident within myself, knowing that you are mine. Your strength gives me strength. Your name gives me a good reputation. Your God has given me a new life. I love the man you are. I love the confidence you carry. I love that our boys watch you to see who they are to become. You are my Hosea, my redeemer, my lover, my rock, my.... I love you.

Thank you for helping me become the woman I am today. Thank you for letting me be open about my past life. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to make good what Satan intended for evil. I love working with you in helping others see that; if we can make it, they can make it too."

This is my love letter to my husband. Without the love of God radiating out from him, we would have never made it. My heart had been torn in so many pieces, who could have found all of them! Christ showed up, knowing where they all were. It is not really Jason that I have fallen in love with, but Christ through him. There is really only one way to write a love story and that is with the true author of love. Without Him, there is always something missing. Without Him, our true selfish selves show up. With Him, passion takes over and love never dies. For the greatest of these things is love....