A Mother's Prayer

John 17:6-19, Jesus' prayer for His disciples, (my prayer for my sons). “I have revealed You to the ones You gave me from this world. They were always Yours. You gave them to me, and they have kept Your word. Now they know that everything I have is a gift from You, for I have passed on to them the message You gave me... My prayer is not for the world, but for those You have given me, because they belong to You. All who are mine belong to You, and You have given them to me, so they bring me glory... Holy Father, You have given me Your name; now protect them by the power of Your name so that they will be united just as we are. During my time here, I protected them by the power of the name You gave me. I guarded them so that not one was lost.. I told them many things while I was with them in this world so they would be filled with my joy. I have given them Your word... I’m not asking You to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one. They do not belong to this world any more than I do. Make them holy by Your truth; teach them Your word, which is truth. Just as You sent me into the world, I am sending them into the world. And I give myself as a holy sacrifice for them so they can be made holy by Your truth."

My sons, nothing is more important to me than them. My time with them is brief and I have so much to teach them. Each day I look back upon the time I have spent with them and unfortunately, usually, I am saddened by how much I did not give to them. As a mother, I can be so hard on myself. I feel this pull, this need in so many different directions. My mother part becomes so overwhelming and my heart breaks at how much I do not give to my boys. I almost feel this urgency to give them everything I know, yet I must wait. In the everyday life, I usually loose my self control and instead of treating my boys with the respect and patience that I extend to everyone else, I loose it with my sons. I want them to see that my quiet time with God is important. I want to model that for them, so that they will one day develop that time for themselves. I want to teach them about what is really important and I know that most teaching comes from them watching what I do each day. I want them to see how to treat others, by watching me. Then, I loose it and yell at them... hypocrisy comes to my mind.

One thing that I am so thankful for is the fact that I am constantly looking and judging myself. Not so that I can live in a state of condemnation, but so that I can live better today than I did yesterday. I have a friend that asks God each day what she should wear. Each morning she goes to her closet and includes Christ on the shirt she chooses that day. Today, I went to my book of wisdom and asked God what I should wear so that I am a better mother today than I was yesterday.

Colossians 3:12-17, "Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience... Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom He gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father."

Oh God, how much I love you. Thank You, for opening my eyes to my children. Thank You, that the wounds I have already given, You can heal. Thank You, that the urgency I feel today is only really about the love I need to show. The clean rooms, the school work, the baths, the everyday work around the house, all I am supposed to do is love and guide them in their work. It is not about getting everything perfect. All that matters is that I model for them the love You have for them. Please Father, guard their eyes today, so that their hearts will be the well spring of Your life tomorrow, when they are grown. Help us to model for them what is really important and help us to get dressed everyday in Your love. Help me Jesus, so that I can truly pray for my sons the prayer You prayed for Your disciples.