A New Song

Romans 1:19-20, "For the truth about God is known to them instinctively. God has put this knowledge in their hearts. For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see His invisible qualities—His eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God."

Ah, the gentle whisper of God through His creation. Can you hear Him calling your heart? Can you see Him when you see the beauty of His art work, for He is the Supreme Artist. He is the Creator of the Universe and the Ruler of the heavens. He is the Creator and in His creation He has written His laws so that we may have life. His laws are written on our hearts, and like all creation, our hearts cry out to Him. His love is bigger than us, and He can take our punches.

Before I had a relationship with my Lord, I just did not understand. I walked around blind to truth and death surrounded me. I would get so angry at Him, for the bad things that happened to me. He is big enough to take my anger. My children often get very angry with me and in their anger they fight against me. As I watch them I have to look back at the times I have been angry with God. I was so upset with Him that I rebelled against Him. In my rebellion I cannot blame Him for the bad things that happened to me, for when I say I rebelled I am not kidding. (Just a glimpse at what I mean... When I worked at the strip club, I was not there just to make money. In fact I often got fined by the owner of the club for not dancing nice! One night he pulled me aside and told me to have some respect for myself. In which I replied, "If I had any self respect I would not be working here.") In my rebellion, I punished myself. I spit in the face of my Lord. I was the worst of sinners. Yet, He loved me anyway. He did not wait until I had gotten my life all worked out and changed how I was living. He came into my death and saved me. He called to my heart. He begged me to let Him help me.

Psalm 18, "I love you, Lord; You are my Strength. The Lord is my Rock, my Fortress, and my Savior; my God is my Rock, in whom I find protection. He is my Shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and He saved me from my enemies. The ropes of death entangled me; floods of destruction swept over me. The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death laid a trap in my path. But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from His sanctuary; my cry to Him reached his ears....He reached down from heaven and rescued me; He drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemies, from those who hated me and were too strong for me. They attacked me at a moment when I was in distress, but the Lord supported me. He led me to a place of safety; He rescued me because He delights in me.... LORD, You have brought light to my life; my God, You light up my darkness. In Your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall..."

I love how Ravi Zacharias puts it. "Jesus did not come into this world to make bad people good. He came to make the dead live." I deserved nothing. I turned my back on my Lord and I knew it. I would go into the club and use His name to help me make more money, for I used the "good little Christian girl" background to entrap my prey. I would look at Him, kiss Him; then, I would spit in His face. Yet while I was doing all of this, my heart was crying out to Him. I could not hold it back, for He wrote His laws upon my heart and I could see Him in His creation. I could have kept pushing Him away. I could have kept blaming Him for what Satan had done. But, if I had I would still be among the dead. I would not have a new song to sing and my heart would still be aching and calling out to its Creator without any satisfaction for I would be lost.

How the birds are singing this morning! Can you hear them calling out to their Maker, I can. I am alive! Not because I was good and living right, but because He came and died on the Cross. He died, so that I could live. He came so that I could sing a new song in the morning. He saved me, not because I loved Him, but because He loved me. He conquered death, so I could have life.

Sing a new song... "Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak, but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me."

He loves me, not because I was good, but because He lives. I love Him, because He loved me first. Can you hear Him whispering to your heart? Can you see the Artist in His wonderful creation. I live pure, because He loved me so. I am clean, all because He has washed me. It was nothing that I deserve. It was all because of how much He loves me.

Morning Joy

Deuteronomy 4:9, “But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren."

"Watch out! Be careful..." The warnings that we hear, we refuse because of the stubborn cries of what we want. Then the painful consequences of our choices. But then, with a mighty wind of His grace, if we will call to Him, He always forgives. He can turn the adulterous woman into a wife of noble character. He can take the tainted and make her pure. If we call to Him, He will... If we seek Him, He will... He is a mighty God that can do anything, but He is a true gentleman and He will never force us against our will. He waits patiently for us to turn to Him. He whispers sweetly in our hearts, till we are ready to hear. If we are willing to hear, if we pause just long enough from the lure of our own desires, we can hear Him. He is always waiting for us to let Him help us, to let Him change us.

I speak often about pain, sin, consequences; but the joy of my heat is in my Saviour, my Redeemer. When I speak of the pain I am saying "Watch out!" It is so much harder on your spirit if you choose not to heed the warnings. If we go against God, whatever it may be, if we choose to go against Him there are always consequences. Do you see the warning, yet stubbornly refuse to listen to them. In our pride, in our ignorance we think that we can live our life our way, but there are laws God has set in motion that will always catch up to us somewhere. But, we have a patient, loving God who will wait for us to call Him. When we finally choose Him, He will make us pure. We may have pain in the night of our life, but joy comes in the morning. When we turn on the light of life, our hearts begin to change. He can change the desire of our hearts if we will continually seek Him. He can change our life if we will let Him. I often travel through the painful memories of my past in order to give someone else the ability to make a much more wise decision than I did. It hurts to look back upon your life and think, you were such a fool. The wise learn from others mistakes. No one should ever be able to say, "But I did not know." The warnings are out there. When you do finally turn to Him, joy comes in the morning. Seek Him diligently, so that He can change everything for the better. He can make the tarnished, pure. He can change the desires of your heart. He can remove all of the scars. The joys I sing to Him in the mornings...

Psalm 9:1-2, 10-12, "I will praise You, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things You have done. I will be filled with joy because of You. I will sing praises to Your Name, O Most High... Those who know Your Name trust in You, for You, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for You. Sing praises to the Lord who reigns in Jerusalem. Tell the world about His unforgettable deeds... He does not ignore the cries of those who cry to Him for help."

In Christ we become a new creation. We are born again. He changes our DNA. Seeking Him, changes who we are. It is in seeking Him that I have found the true joy in living. It is seeking Him that I can sing a new song. It is in seeking Him that I have found my purpose for living. He did not come into this world to make bad people good, but to bring life to the dead. Are you alive today?

Death Becomes Her

Revelation 5:1-9, "And I saw a strong angel, who shouted with a loud voice: 'Who is worthy to break the seals on this scroll and open it?' But no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth was able to open the scroll and read it. Then I began to weep bitterly because no one was found worthy to open the scroll and read it. But one of the twenty-four elders said to me, 'Stop weeping! Look, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the heir to David’s throne, has won the victory. He is worthy to open the scroll and its seven seals.' Then I saw a Lamb that looked as if it had been slaughtered, but it was now standing... He stepped forward and took the scroll from the right hand of the one sitting on the throne. And when He took the scroll, the four living beings and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp, and they held gold bowls filled with incense, which are the prayers of God’s people. And they sang a new song..."

Death is something that we should all think about, but something we most desperately try to avoid. Even the thought freaks us out. Death is something that travels through my mind often. When I was 20, I was given the medical diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. That moment I felt like I had been given a death certificate. Death is something that I think about. It is something that I talk about with my young sons. It is something that I do not fear.

Last night I watched the movie "Seven Pounds" with Will Smith. He played a character who was willing to give up his life for the lives of others. He donated his heart to a woman that needed a heart, his eyes to a blind man, his liver... he donated his life to save others. He did this because he had killed many other people in a fatal car accident. He was paying back what he had taken. By the end of the movie I was in tears, sobbing. The feelings that overcame me were feelings of thankfulness and gratitude. The people that Will's character chose to be the recipients, were people that were good and deserved a chance at a new life. He watched them and saw that his life would not be waisted for theirs. They earned his love. I have been given a new life. I was stripped from my old ways and given a second chance at living life again, but I did not deserve it. Now I receive it.

I talk often to my children about heaven and hell. I want to know that if I was taken away early, that I had done my job and prepared them. Death comes at different times for everyone and it is something that I think about often. If my children go before me, I hope I can remember: Isaiah 57:1, "Good people pass away; the godly often die before their time. But no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come. For those who follow godly paths will rest in peace when they die." Death is coming sometime for everyone. I hope that I am prepared.

Luke 12:35ff, "Be dressed for service and keep your lamps burning, as though you were waiting for your master to return from the wedding feast. Then you will be ready to open the door and let him in the moment he arrives and knocks. The servants who are ready and waiting for his return will be rewarded. I tell you the truth, he himself will seat them, put on an apron, and serve them as they sit and eat! He may come in the middle of the night or just before dawn. But whenever he comes, he will reward the servants who are ready..." Romans 1:18-21, "But God shows His anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who suppress the truth by their wickedness. They know the truth about God because He has made it obvious to them. For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see His invisible qualities—His eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God. Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship Him as God or even give Him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused..."

Every day my job is to prepare my heart and my children's heart, not for death, for life. We are given another chance to live. We all must die physically, but death does not scare me. I know the author of life and I am looking forward to seeing the Lion, the Lamb. When I die, I want to be buried in my wedding dress. I want my children to rejoice and know that their mother is where I always wanted to be. If my children die before me, I want to get my comfort in knowing they are living better than I am here. I want to know that God was and is still protecting them. Death, I think about it often. I love my life, for I have been given a new life with Christ, but this life is incomplete. I have a longing to be with my Savior in person. I want to thank Him for giving up His life, so I could truly live. I have found the true joy in living and the celebration in dieing. Does death scare you? Do you know the joy in living right now? Can you really enjoy the life you have been given? I love my Savior! For without Him giving up His life for me long ago, I would not be alive today.

http://utmost.org/having-god%E2%80%99s-unreasonable-faith/

Stampede

Exodus 19:4-12, 20:20, "You know how I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to Myself. Now if you will obey Me and keep My covenant, you will be My own special treasure... Warn the people, ‘Be careful! Do not go up on the mountain or even touch its boundaries. Those who do will certainly die! ...From now on, let your fear of Him keep you from sinning."

Everywhere we look people are moving boundaries, structures placed by God to protect us and to teach us. But, we think that for us it does not count. Everyone thinks that the bible was for old times and it is irrelevant with today and what is going on in our world. God established marriage built for one man and for one woman. We think that because God does not condone homosexuality, He is condemning us for loving. He never said, "do not love." He made sex to be for the marriage of a man and a woman. It just fits that way. Society is telling couples to live together before they get married to see if it works. It changes, I promise. That doesn't work either. We hear, "Your going to experiment with drinking and drugs, so you need to use discretion and be responsible." I think the person giving that advise is high when they say this, for discretion and responsibility do not fit in with brain altering activities. Another thing we hear, "Get a divorce if you do not love that person any longer. You deserve to be happy." Another lie. Divorce and happy do not work if you are just looking at someone else's mistakes and not willing to look at your own failures. The lies the world is telling us can go on and on. If we choose to move the boundaries that God has given us for our own protection we cannot blame Him when everything starts running wildly out of control.

“Sin has a ripple effect. You never, ever sin alone. Because when you sin, you are changed. When you are changed, you will affect somebody else. When we talk about victim-less crimes in our society; they may be legal, sociological, psychological terms; they are not biblical concepts. There is no such thing as a victim-less crime.” (RZ) The boundaries, we as a society move today, our children are going to pay a very high price tomorrow. "I" is the word the world is focusing on. We are being trained to focus on "I". "I feel this way. I want this. I can do this. It only affects me." I, I, I, me, me, me. Our society is saying to love and be loved, but the truth in that focus is, I. This truth of this lie is the most selfish thing we can do. We have come to a fence in our life and instead of pausing long enough to really see why the fence was put there to begin with, we are tearing it down. We are not protecting ourselves, nor are we going to be really free. Chesterton, “The tragedy of disbelieving in God is not that a person ends up believing in nothing. Alas it is much worse, he may end up believing in anything.” Are we disbelieving in God so that we can reject His morals? Are we really going to find freedom, or are we going to pay a very high price when the bill comes due?

“There are some places you and I ought not to go. There are some things you and I ought not entertain with our eyes. There are some experiences we ought not to reach out and touch. Because almost like a paper thin cut, that can communicate dreadful diseases into the body- there are choices we may make that may seem rather innocuous in the beginning which can be devastating in the long run. Till you yourself will be asking, what am I doing here?” (RZ) What am I doing here, how these word have torn my heart. I will remember how He carried me on eagles wings and I will fear the boundaries I see set before me. For those who insist on tearing down those boundaries, we are going to pay a very high price. We are running right through the fences like a herd of wild buffalo, but there is someone on the other side of the fence, that we have insisted on tearing down, and they are going to have to pick up the pieces of our choices. Those on the other side are our children. If we choose not to believe in God, what are they going to believe? What kind of life are we offering them? What choices are we making today that will greatly affect them? If we do not believe in His word, then we simply do not believe in Him. What, Who do you believe in?

Friendship's Wise Counsel

Exodus 18, "When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he asked, 'What are you really accomplishing here? Why are you trying to do all this alone while everyone stands around you from morning till evening?' Moses replied, 'Because the people come to me... This is not good!' Moses’ father-in-law exclaimed. 'You’re going to wear yourself out—and the people, too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself. Now listen to me, and let me give you a word of advice, and may God be with you.'"

I am constantly amazed by God. I am constantly amazed by the friends He has given me. The other day, I had a melt down. Most of the time I openly share with Jason, but this time I knew it had to be one of my girlfriends. This time she was not easy to find and my soul was not quiet until I did. I drove to her house. She was not there. I even went by the hospital, just to check. She was not there. I came home. I left. I went to the river and thought maybe some alone time would help. My answer did not come. I needed this one particular friend. I am very blessed for I have many friends to choose from when I need help, but I had this particular one on my heart for this particular time. Finally, I found her four hours after my search and waiting had begun. Then we spent the next four hours sharing our lives.

The heartache in my soul began the night before, at a lock-in we had for the high school girls. During this lock-in, one of the speakers was a man sharing, "the guys perspective on girls". He talked about the pure girl and the, well lets just call her, the pathetic girl. Everything he said about the pathetic girl, I once was and my heart hurt. It hurt from wounds I gave it twenty years ago! This hurting made me doubt my sharing. So after I shared this with my friend, she shared her life with me. It was in her sharing her wounds and her hurts that God began to speak to me. It was in her foolishness that I was able to see His love and her husband's strength was also revealed. It was in her pain that the strength of God and others could truly be seen.

I do not like to know that I was such a fool. I do not like to admit my stupidity to others. For me, there is no glory in me being a simpleton. But, as my friend was sharing her life with me, I could see a strength that many missed when they saw her foolish ways. I can see her husband rise up and become a true husband like Christ. A true example of the Ephesians 5:25 man. I can see through her pain, the glory of Christ, for only He can be given credit for her healing. It is in learning from my friends that I can see the living God. If she had not been so open with me, I would have missed Him! "Is all you know about God a miscellaneous collection of trivia, or do you have a living relationship with Him? Only with a vital relationship can you pass on to others the excitement of allowing God to guide your life." If I did not surround myself with strong believers, I would miss so much about God. It is through people becoming real with their pain, their failures, their walk that His redemption, grace, love can be seen and felt. I do not know how I could live with my pain, my foolishness, if I did not have Him to cover me and turn my stupidity into wisdom. Thank you to my friends for sharing openly all of your life with me. Thank you for allowing your life to give others wisdom. Thank you for your encouragement and for helping me to become better. Thank you for sharing, so that I can become stronger. Thank you Christ, for coving us...

Mother's Day, "It's Not About Me"

The theme of my life seems to be, "It's not about me." While I was on vacation Mother's Day came, so I went for a short walk. I wanted some alone time, some time to reflect and clear the air. You know, no matter how wonderful your relatives are, sometimes, some alone time is a must so you can think. Mother's Day, I took some time to myself and went for that walk I so desperately needed. It was a cold breezy day. It had rained the day before and the air was crisp, my in-laws home is just a few short blocks from the coast in Portland Maine, so I could feel the sea in the air. It was on this walk that I was reflecting on the day ahead and how I had spent Mother's Day in the past. It was during this time that my eyes were opened. It was during this time that the true joy of the day was not about me at all. It was during this time that I saw my boys for the first time, like I had never seen them before.

I am a mother, so I am speaking from how I need to look out at each day, including those holidays that tend to let me say, "It's all about me." This is my struggle, I tend to want to become selfish. If I get an excuse and others tell me it is okay to become selfish, then I become a monster. I want to say, "Do you see all that I do? Do you care that I do so much for you? Are you going to dote on me now, for you know that I deserve this!" This realization toward self-centeredness helped me to look at Mother's Day and being a mother in a whole new light. What a blessing to be a mother. If I hadn't had my boys, I would not be a mommy. This holiday and really everyday is about my children. Not even one day can be set aside for me, and that is okay, for this was the best Mother's Day I had ever had. This realization helped me to see my boys like I had never seen them before. The day did not go according to my plans and my time, but it was the best Mother's Day I had ever had and I didn't even get flowers!

Psalm 34, "I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak His praises. I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are helpless take heart. Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness; let us exalt His name together. I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to Him for help will be radiant with joy; ...Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in Him!... Come, my children, and listen to me, and I will teach you to fear the Lord..."

After my walk was over and I had sung praises to my Lord, because He had opened my eyes, when I entered the house my attitude about the day had changed. I called each boy to come and speak with me alone. I took each son in my arm and asked him if he knew what this day was about. Each of them said that it was about me, but I looked at them lovingly in my arms and corrected them. I took that sweet baby in my arms and said, "No, it is about you! Did you know that if you were not here, this day would not be special for me. If you were not here, I would have nothing to celebrate. This day is special for me, all because of you. Today, I am celebrating you. Thank you so much for making this day so wonderful for me." Those precious babies each had this wonderful look on their faces when I told each of them how special they were. All because I looked at the reason I could celebrate Mother's Day, this was the best Mother's Day I had ever had. The only reason it was so wonderful for me is because it was not about me.

I will make mistakes as a mother. I will let the selfish root sneak in and try to turn me into a monster, but my eyes have been opened and I have no excuse to stay that way. If I can keep the focus on the true reason for my joy, then I will be blessed. All I have to do is to remember the greatest command: “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” If I will keep my focus on God, on others, then I will always have reasons to rejoice. If I will do this, then I will not become the monster of selfishness. Proverbs 31, "Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her:'There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!' Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise." She will be praised, because it was never about her...

Do I Love Him Enough?

Oh, how I love my Lord. I think about Him all day long. When I get up and when I lay down, He is on my mind. John 14, Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through Me. If you had really known Me, you would know who my Father is. From now on, you do know Him and have seen Him! ...If you love Me, obey My commandments. ...All who love Me will do what I say. My Father will love them, and We will come and make our home with each of them. Anyone who doesn’t love Me will not obey Me...I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid."

It is all about love! Do I love Him enough to obey Him? Do I love Him enough to love others? (13:34), "So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other." This morning I did not respect my husband the way that I should have. It was a simple little statement, but a jab non the less. We have been on a very tight budget for some time now. Part of that budget was something that I greatly valued, food. I want to feed my family only organic food. I want to check the ingredients and make sure that there is nothing harmful in the brand of food that we buy. In saying this, my brother-in-law who is also all organic, made a statement about not having the box of cereal for me to check the ingredients. I came back with the comment of, "No problems there we are on a Fruit Loops diet now." That is a jab toward my husband and I should not have said it.

Jesus did not come to bring condemnation, but to bring the gift of peace of mind and love. I am not going to walk around today, while I am on vacation, with a spirit of condemnation because of a statement that I made at 6:30 this morning. I have made those statements before, and for the first time today, I saw my husband's heart in front of his brother and how I pierced it. My eyes were open to him and I will do my best to live with a spirit of appreciation since we do still have our house and our budget is for our home!

I make mistakes all of the time. When the scripture says that "If you love me, obey my commandments," does not mean that I will not make mistakes. What it mean is that I will be open for correction, and I will walk with my eyes wide open, and try my best to live with a spirit of love for others around me. In doing this, He assures me that I will have peace of mind. I try my best to walk according to His commandments and in doing this I walk with a joy that I have never known before. Before, I walked with a spirit of condemnation and an attitude of self righteousness, thinking that no one had the right to correct anything that I did. I have discovered that there is nothing free there. Freedom comes by walking in His light and love. Do I love Him enough to check my attitude and my words that I express, even if they are simple little statements? Do I love Him enough to respect my husband? Do I love Him enough to lay down my desires for others? Do I love Him enough?

Good / Evil

Psalm 9, "I will praise You, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things You have done. I will be filled with joy because of You. I will sing praises to Your name, O Most High. My enemies retreated; they staggered and died when You appeared...The enemy is finished, in endless ruins... But the Lord reigns forever, executing judgment from His throne. He will judge the world with justice and rule the nations with fairness. The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Those who know Your name trust in You for You, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for You.... He does not ignore the cries of those who suffer. Lord, have mercy on me. See how my enemies torment me. Snatch me back from the jaws of death. Save me so I can praise you publicly at Jerusalem’s gates, so I can rejoice that you have rescued me."

Oh, how I love my God! He gives me new breath each day. He gives me glory and places my feet on sacred, safe ground. Many people argue against the existence of a loving and faithful God, because of the existence of evil. They say things like, "How can there be a good God, if there is so much evil in the world?" But I have heard it another way. The very existence of evil proves that there is a God. (I am going to botch this, but I will do my best. Ravi Zacharias can explain it better.) The very existence of evil means that there must be good. If there is good, there must be a moral law in order to determine the difference between good and evil. If there is a moral law, there must be a moral law giver. Which brings us around to the answer for the question. There must be a God. If there is a God, there must be an evil being (Satan), who is going against a good God. All of the time people are blaming God and turning against Him, toward the very one who has hurt them and caused their suffering in the first place. When we are wounded we have a tendency to turn against the very one who wants to save us. We turn against Him, because we need someone to blame for our pain. What we do not realize is that by turning against God, we are actually turning and asking for comfort from the very one that assaulted us in the first place.

"Why would God create an imperfect, temporary universe only to replace it later with a perfect one? Why wouldn't God have created a perfect universe in the first place? This is a good question, but shows a lack of understanding of the biblical reason of why God created the universe. One can find the reason for the creation of the universe in the first few chapters of the Bible. God created humans in order to have a personal relationship with them, which He had with Adam and Eve before they sinned (Genesis 2). Jesus said that the first and foremost commandment was to 'Love the Lord your God...' A personal relationship, characterized by the possibility of love, is only possible if created beings are given free will. If God had created the universe with no possibility of evil or sin, then the created beings would have had no free will, and, as such, would essentially be programmed computers. Such beings would be incapable of love, since love involves making a choice - which requires the ability to choose not to love. For example, I can program my computer to say 'I love you' when it starts up. Does this mean that the computer really loves me? Of course not! Likewise, God could have programmed humans to say that they loved Him, without the possibility of rejecting Him or performing evil deeds. However, these programmed beings would exhibit about as much true love as my computer - not a very satisfying relationship. Therefore, God created the universe for the express purpose of allowing free will spiritual beings the opportunity to have fellowship with Him (and likewise, reject Him)." ***

Do you know who you are actually turning toward when you are turning away from God! Many reject Him because they do not like His moral law, but do you know who is on the other side. I have discovered the truth to love, and that is to love the one that created love to begin with. It is easy to blame Him for what you see and feel as evil, but what you are embracing by rejecting Him is much more sadistic than the original hurt you felt to begin with. Do the research. Open your minds to truth, and the truth will set you free. Christ came and died for us, so that we will not make our beds with our assailant. Do you know who you are turning toward when you turn your back on Christ?

*** http://www.godandscience.org/apologetics/evilandsuffering.html#Cnughc1WEp7T

Gay Pride

Sometimes, it just drives me crazy when I have a reoccurring theme and I do not want to address it. This one, I do not want to address, but it keeps getting brought up. I don't like talking about it, because people get offended so easily about the subject and defensive on both sides. It is a hot topic and I don't like to discuss it! Most everyone who comments about my blog, sends me an email. For this topic, I would much rather an email than for you to just turn me off and never visit here again. So, if you think I am talking to you specifically just because of a conversation or something you may have mentioned, like I said, this is a reoccurring theme...

1 Corinthians 6:9-11, "Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." I am pulling homosexuality out of these list of sins. I hear people all of the time defending this lifestyle and saying that God made them this way. From what I have seen, I would say that most of the time people lean this direction out of a sexual abuse situation. I do, however, acknowledge that many people struggle more with this than others, but that is how it is with all sins. Even in doing this I am having to pull one sexual sin out of many other sins. Why is it that we get one topic and hold it to a higher standard than others. We grab hold of this sexual sin and excuse it, for people say they are born this way. James 1:12-16, "When tempted, no one should say, 'God is tempting me.' For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."

Here is the sin that I really see here. It is not only the choice of choosing a partner of the same sex to have sex with, but it is pride. Ezekiel 16:49, "Sodom’s sins were pride, gluttony, and laziness..." It is not just that someone struggles with this particular sexual sin, it is that they are proud of it. This sin becomes untouchable to God or anyone else. Why do you think that I did not want to address it! It is flaunted around and how dare anyone call this sin out of the rest. It is a title, and in the title we see the true sin lurking under the cover, "Gay Pride". It is a sin not only of the flesh, but of the heart. It is the root of Satan's sin. It is a sin that we all struggle with.

My brother sent me this text the other day when we were talking about homosexuality. "I've also had thoughts of murder, suicide, hatred, rape, etc, etc... wondering what it would be like to experience those things and if I could or would do them. Just because I have had those thoughts placed in my mind, does that mean I am a rapist or murderer and therefore should go ahead and BE that person? Absolutely not! Yet this seems to be the logic of those who are embracing homosexuality..." I have been with girls sexually in my past. Does this mean that I am a lesbian and I should embrace that lifestyle. No, that would be like me saying that it is okay to do anything and there are no rules. There are rules. Jesus never told anyone to just keep doing whatever sin they were in. He called them to repentance. It is about laying aside our sinful desires so we can have a better more fulfilled relationship with Him. it is all about the Creator, not the created. It is all about being more fulfilled in Him. Whatever sin we are holding on to, whether it is gossip, lying, back bitting, slander, hatred, homosexuality, fornication.... whatever it is, the problem is that it is getting in the way of us really seeking God.

1 Corinthians 6:12-20, "You say, 'I am allowed to do anything'—but not everything is good for you. And even though 'I am allowed to do anything,' I must not become a slave to anything. You say, 'Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.' (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies... Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, 'The two are united into one.' But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body." It really is not just about a certain sin. It is about your heart toward God...

A Mother's Prayer

John 17:6-19, Jesus' prayer for His disciples, (my prayer for my sons). “I have revealed You to the ones You gave me from this world. They were always Yours. You gave them to me, and they have kept Your word. Now they know that everything I have is a gift from You, for I have passed on to them the message You gave me... My prayer is not for the world, but for those You have given me, because they belong to You. All who are mine belong to You, and You have given them to me, so they bring me glory... Holy Father, You have given me Your name; now protect them by the power of Your name so that they will be united just as we are. During my time here, I protected them by the power of the name You gave me. I guarded them so that not one was lost.. I told them many things while I was with them in this world so they would be filled with my joy. I have given them Your word... I’m not asking You to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one. They do not belong to this world any more than I do. Make them holy by Your truth; teach them Your word, which is truth. Just as You sent me into the world, I am sending them into the world. And I give myself as a holy sacrifice for them so they can be made holy by Your truth."

My sons, nothing is more important to me than them. My time with them is brief and I have so much to teach them. Each day I look back upon the time I have spent with them and unfortunately, usually, I am saddened by how much I did not give to them. As a mother, I can be so hard on myself. I feel this pull, this need in so many different directions. My mother part becomes so overwhelming and my heart breaks at how much I do not give to my boys. I almost feel this urgency to give them everything I know, yet I must wait. In the everyday life, I usually loose my self control and instead of treating my boys with the respect and patience that I extend to everyone else, I loose it with my sons. I want them to see that my quiet time with God is important. I want to model that for them, so that they will one day develop that time for themselves. I want to teach them about what is really important and I know that most teaching comes from them watching what I do each day. I want them to see how to treat others, by watching me. Then, I loose it and yell at them... hypocrisy comes to my mind.

One thing that I am so thankful for is the fact that I am constantly looking and judging myself. Not so that I can live in a state of condemnation, but so that I can live better today than I did yesterday. I have a friend that asks God each day what she should wear. Each morning she goes to her closet and includes Christ on the shirt she chooses that day. Today, I went to my book of wisdom and asked God what I should wear so that I am a better mother today than I was yesterday.

Colossians 3:12-17, "Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience... Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom He gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father."

Oh God, how much I love you. Thank You, for opening my eyes to my children. Thank You, that the wounds I have already given, You can heal. Thank You, that the urgency I feel today is only really about the love I need to show. The clean rooms, the school work, the baths, the everyday work around the house, all I am supposed to do is love and guide them in their work. It is not about getting everything perfect. All that matters is that I model for them the love You have for them. Please Father, guard their eyes today, so that their hearts will be the well spring of Your life tomorrow, when they are grown. Help us to model for them what is really important and help us to get dressed everyday in Your love. Help me Jesus, so that I can truly pray for my sons the prayer You prayed for Your disciples.