A Satisfied Feeling

I want to talk about several things that I mentioned in my last blog. Opposite sex bashing, we have to stop this, and false intimacy. These two things have been heavy on my heart and mind. These are two of the most important things that we need to change in our lives.

First is bashing the opposite sex. Girls, if you go around bashing men, how are you going to enjoy anything about them? Men are not dumb dogs that need to kicked around every day. Men and women are completely different. I am so thankful for this. I used to hate it, but now I enjoy it. Guys, women are not stupid and irrational. We both offer different qualities that the other is lacking. You have to stop looking so critically at each other. God made us both and he made us in his image. If you take one of us away from the union, you are experiencing only part of God. But when you see us both working together, you can see the fullness of God. Yes, everyone is flawed, everyone makes mistakes; do you want your spouse to judge you with the same harshness that you judge them?

You have to filter what you put in your mind. Filter first what goes in, and then what comes out will not be so hard to control. It is not okay to sit around and talk about how stupid your husband is. I had to learn something: I had to learn that when I bashed other men, my husband, who I was not bashing, took it personal. Even though I was looking at the "idiotic, perverted, disgusting" things of other men my husband was getting hit, as a man. Just throwing blanket statements in the air is not okay. Watching shows on television that bring our men down, is not okay. We say we want strong men and where did they all go; just look at what society is saying to men. "You are worthless. All that you think about is beer and sex. How stupid you are. Can you do anything right?" The last things that I want my little boys growing up thinking are, "I was born the wrong sex, I cannot please a girl, so why try." Oh my goodness that would be a horrible feeling. Do you want your little girls to settle, because "men are stupid" anyway. I chose to ignore the fact that my ex was into porn, because "he was just a guy and all guys are into porn." This is not true! It is a lie that our society has told us since we were young. Men are not bad. They are not the enemy. Women are not stupid, emotional wrecks. We have passion. Embrace the passion. When we come together we have logic, emotion, go getters, home sustainers, mighty conquers, soft touches, strong embracers, and soft pillows. Together, we are closer to the image of our Father. Apart from each other we are further apart from the full image of our Lord. Embrace the differences, and learn from each other

I also want to explain False Intimacy. Harry Schaumburg explains it better and in more depth in his book, but I will give it my shot. One of the reasons men go to clubs and women turn to movies and romance novels is because they want to be intimate without the fear of rejection. Men would come into the club and I would make them feel like they were the "studs". They liked the illusion that I would paint for them. It is amazing to me the things they would believe, the lies that I told them and then they would go out feeling very fulfilled. It was a lie. I would tell them exactly what I thought they wanted to hear, and they would believe it. How stupid, was always my response. Women do the exact same thing. There is a hero in every movie and in every book. The reason you love it is because it is not real. No wife can compete with the girl imagined and no husband can compete with the perfect man. There is no perfect person. This is life! Only one can satisfy with perfection and that is Christ. The fantasy is not better, you are always left feeling "lied" to, because you are. A husband will never be satisfied by his wife, if he is living in fantasy. A wife will always be disappointed in her husband if she thinks he should be a hero every day. It may seem better to escape into fantasy, but life always comes back around. If you try to escape, you will be hit even harder in the long run.

The answer that you are looking for is God. Try and be the best wife you can be. Serve and respect your husband. If you do not respect the man, then respect his position. Be the best husband that you can be. Love your wife as Christ loved the church. He gave His life for you. He served his followers; He served them without waiting for them to serve Him. If we would put God and His ways back into our marriages, everyone would be left feeling satisfied.