What a beautiful morning. After spending time in God's word, I took a few diapers outside to throw them away. I decided to sit on our bench for a few moments and take in the mountain air. I just sat there and listened to the singing birds. You don't realize how beautiful they sound, until they have been gone for several months. It has been raining all night and the air is crisp and new. How much I love living in the mountains. I do not stop to enjoy every moment of my life, nearly enough.
Yesterday did not start off quite so nicely. I woke up and felt tense. I tried to relax as I read, but I just felt mean. Then as I was taking a shower, it was not peaceful, my children were screaming right outside my door. Right after I emerge from the shower, my youngest, almost 3 yrs, knocked over one of my plants and broke the pot. I snapped. I could feel the anger within me, I was mad. My house was already a disaster, before the plant incident. I put the boys in timeout and cleaned up the mess. I let the boys out of their room and began getting ready for the day. This is when I started to cry.
Why do I still feel like such a failure? Why do I feel like I have so much further to go, and I am still in a pit? Why can't I be a better mother, a better wife? I want to help people with their relationship with God, but how? How can I help anyone, when I am still such a mess? I can do this because, today I see things differently than I did yesterday. Today, I see where I went wrong and today is a new crisp day. Will I mess up, today? You bet! But,every moment offers a fresh start. I just have to keep my eyes on the goal. I have to look at how far I have come and remember the power that got me here, was not by my power. Oh, how thankful I am for new beginnings, for fresh mornings.
"My Wonderful, Merciful Lord,
How I thank you. I am so grateful for new beginnings. I thank you for beautiful mornings that offer new life. I thank you for my family and for all of the blessings they provide. Thank you for a life that I never deserved. I still do not deserve all of the blessings that you so graciously provide. Please help me to walk this day in peace and to approach my children how you have always approach me. You never once lost your temper. You discipline with fairness and love. Help me to show my boys you, through my love for them. Widen my range of vision. Help me to see past the moment and into what really matters. There is nothing that I desire more, than to be like you. Thank you for allowing me to grow. Thank you that every day is a new day and even through the hard days, I am still growing. Even when it seems like I am taking a step back, it is really an opportunity to grow. I truly want to be a good friend, a loving mother, and a supportive wife. Help me to be an asset to my family and never a burden. Thank you Lord for this new day. Thank you for always loving me, even when I am unlovable.
In Your Sons most Holy, most Precious Name I pray this,
AMEN."
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